Female Argument Creation

[Canadian Bacon]

I'm in a distanced relationship and my lady brings up problems where there aren't any. I care for her, but i don't want to waste my life arguing about non-issues. (ie: accusing me of potentially wronging her somehow in the future or attempting to change her habits).

It's like if there's too much peacetime she creates a false flag attack to justify a war!

I feel like it's the same old story with all women eventually. Like waves crashing on the beach they try to break down their man mentally into a faithful servant, and then they aren't even happy when they have trained him like a dog.

Does this tie in to women just always testing their man? Constantly probing to find a weak spot in your defences? Or she's bored so she creates problematic scenarios to bitch about in advance?

It would just be nice to have a way of snapping her out of her self imposed emotional downward spirals over the phone. And in a way that's gentle, yet effective and understandable for a woman... In person, I can handle it.

Maybe she just needs constant tasks to keep her busy, like a baby.

 

[Goldin Boy]

My commentary is in bold:

I'm in a distanced relationship and my lady brings up problems where there aren't any. I care for her, but i don't want to waste my life arguing about non-issues. (ie: accusing me of potentially wronging her somehow in the future or attempting to change her habits).

Don't be in a distanced relationship with a woman.

[snip]

I feel like it's the same old story with all women eventually. Like waves crashing on the beach they try to break down their man mentally into a faithful servant, and then they aren't even happy when they have trained him like a dog.

They're not happy breaking down a man because they don't want a man they can "train". She does it to see if you're a man of character who won't kowtow to her nagging.

Does this tie in to women just always testing their man? Constantly probing to find a weak spot in your defences? Or she's bored so she creates problematic scenarios to bitch about in advance?

Yes, yes, and yes.

It would just be nice to have a way of snapping her out of her self imposed emotional downward spirals over the phone. And in a way that's gentle, yet effective and understandable for a woman... In person, I can handle it.

Don't know your situation but the distance seems to be putting a strain on her.

If you're planning on courting her and vetting her for marriage material that's going to be very difficult when you're in a long-distance relationship (which I don't personally consider a "relationship" it's more tantamount to "pen-pals"). If this time apart is going to be a continuous, protracted thing maybe you should consider ending it.

 

[FactusIRX]

I'm in a distanced relationship and my lady brings up problems where there aren't any. I care for her, but i don't want to waste my life arguing about non-issues. (ie: accusing me of potentially wronging her somehow in the future or attempting to change her habits).

It's like if there's too much peacetime she creates a false flag attack to justify a war!

I feel like it's the same old story with all women eventually. Like waves crashing on the beach they try to break down their man mentally into a faithful servant, and then they aren't even happy when they have trained him like a dog.

Does this tie in to women just always testing their man? Constantly probing to find a weak spot in your defences? Or she's bored so she creates problematic scenarios to bitch about in advance?

It would just be nice to have a way of snapping her out of her self imposed emotional downward spirals over the phone. And in a way that's gentle, yet effective and understandable for a woman... In person, I can handle it.

Maybe she just needs constant tasks to keep her busy, like a baby.

Women create problems out of nothing. Women create mountains out of molehills. Who knows why they do it, but every single one of them does it. The only thing you can do over the phone is play the dread game and hope she stays. It's a strategy that can only last for a while, which is why any long distance relationship can only last for a few months before they break down.

 

[Stats]

she might be bi polar in which case the negativity will come eventually cyclely no matter what you may do to temporarily delay its release. Also you are a fool to think this will get better if she has a baby.

 

[NoMoreTO]

LD Relationships are pretty workable when
- you met in person and have an established relationship
- there is a plan to get back, reunite.
- Long distance part shouldn't be too long. Also, try and plan something like her flying out that can occupy her mentally.
- Don't take her BS, better to snap back at her a little than to let her chip away at you.

 

[Grey]

(ie: accusing me of potentially wronging her somehow in the future or attempting to change her habits).

'If we're not going to improve each other the relationship is pointless'.

'Do you think you're already perfect? No? Then there are going to be habits you change'.

Simply say that yes, you will expect her to change sometimes.

If she worries you will hurt her. 'Yes, I'm going to make mistakes sometimes. That's life.'

Or if you really want to drive the point home. 'If we're together you'll have my children, that will be the most painful event in your life, but it will be worthwhile. How could I promise never to hurt you? I will help you through pain, but I will never make a promise that is a lie.'

Early in my relationship I used lines exactly like those ones. They win the day very efficiently. They display a lot of mastery and a bold face towards reality.

It's like if there's too much peacetime she creates a false flag attack to justify a war!

There is nothing you can do but find a way to secure capitulation efficiently and totally. But as you get better at it she gets less inclined to false flag. It helps if it doesn't get too much of a rise out of you, but I know how frustrating it is.

It never stops entirely this side of heaven though.

Keeping her busy is also a very, very good idea. I said in another thread every man should read about the Proverbs 31 woman, and not how busy and industrious she is.

Having to do this kind of thing over the phone is a great weakness though. Physical presence is huge with women, as you clearly know. I'm sorry to hear you have to deal with that, I've been there and dealt with that occasionally, I don't envy you.

 

[Canadian Bacon]

she might be bi polar in which case the negativity will come eventually cyclely no matter what you may do to temporarily delay its release. Also you are a fool to think this will get better if she has a baby.

She does have quite high ups and downs... And yes, bad joke!

 

[Canadian Bacon]

I appreciate the responses. The reason for our long distance relationship is the continued can/us border closure.

 

[RoadKill]

Cut and run! Change your number now before you're in a committed relationship with her. In my experience, women make drama to feel alive. They thrive on it. Look at the movies that women watch. What are they? Dramas! Movies that are meant for women are boring drama movies, centered on emotion and irrational feeling.

What kind of movies are meant for men are usually action-packed, rational, courageous, or sexual in nature. We're hard-wired to be common-sense and use rational thinking to counterbalance our emotions.

Women blame bad behavior on being bi-polar. It's all BS and I don't buy any of it. Every dramatic event that has happened in my life involved women, whether it's my wife, ex-wife, daughter, mother or sister.

If you think your life is too good, too stable and on the right path, you can ruin it by getting into a relationship with a woman. Do yourself a favor. Have your friend kick you in the nuts and remind you that the pain you feel now will go away faster than if you get into a relationship with a dramatic woman.

Don't get into a relationship that diminishes your current life situation. You'll lose your freedom, your opinion, your choice of food, your place behind the wheel and your sanity.

RK

 

[Papaya]

You can run from the "dynamic problem" but you cant hide from it unless you go full MGTOW.

Solve the disease not the symptom

"Dread",

"Frame" ,

"Shit tests"

 

[Bitter End]

When I settle for a woman I want to be with in the long term, perhaps for the rest of my life, I plan to make small "mistakes" on purpose, things that I can always fix but refuse to. I think that could keep her off going completely mental over something that I could not possibly influence. A controlled explosion of sorts.

Teasing seems to keep them busy too. They like something (a man) that they cannot "fix" as previously written in this thread.

At least the women from my country get very sensible once the kids appear. More sensible than some of the guys I was observing. Mid age crisis is a real thing.

 

[No-Designation Man]

@Canadian Bacon

1) Is your relationship better in person, or the same as over the phone?

2) Switch "phone" to "Skype", "Zoom", or any technology that also facilitates a visual.

3) Having children to stabilize a relationships never works; it just adds innocent parties to the existing chaos.

 

[DeWoken]

If she wants drama tell her to pack a backpack and start hiking north. I mean, it's the largest undefended border in the world