Finding a Husband during Corona

Well, around here waiting until marriage for intimacy is kind of the top recommendation, so you might want to check the temperature (and the rules) before you go advising the ladies here to give their goods away to rapscallions for fear of being perceived as "frigid." :laughter:

I see that you have a very modern and very materialistic take on things. That's your right, but you won't find much agreement on a Christian forum, methinks.
No, I actually am against fornication now. It is ideal to wait until marriage for a sexual relationship. I just think in our day and age the Unicorns that waited til they are married are the types that get snatched up quick and off the market quick.
 
This statement is an opinion, not a fact.
But how does that change anything? The fact is that the woman obeyed this idea and it's no accident that she remains unmarried to this day, but she is seeing a lot of male friends on the side always. I brought it up because her father must have been all that much older, and it's disturbing that he was educating his daughter to think this way even back then. Granted, Feminism was around then too.
 
Yeah it is a mess like lairofdionysius said.
Guys dont wanna get used for dinners and their cash and not even get so much as a kiss at the end of the night.
Meanwhile some women want that commitment a little too prematurely and acting like she’s entitled to everything the guy has despite her shady motives/character.
 
Yeah it is a mess like lairofdionysius said.
Guys dont wanna get used for dinners and their cash and not even get so much as a kiss at the end of the night.
Meanwhile some women want that commitment a little too prematurely and acting like she’s entitled to everything the guy has despite her shady motives/character.
Pretty much... After 2008 I began to notice a large increase where women also became very uncomfortable on any kind of date when you pay bills, and that's definitely a red flag if they do that. But it can also be a red flag if they are too happy about it too. Also of note, a few years ago one girl that I approached and who agreeably went on a date with me was happy the entire time, brought her to a place where she ate the best pizza in her life (according to her) and we had a whole day of things, but when it came time to depart and I insisted on walking her home to her apartment, she was very adamant about me not doing so. Everything became bizarre and awkward, and I'll keep the rest there but what I will say is that I found out the reason shortly after, and it was because she already was seeing a guy and he apparently lived there or was one of her roommates and didn't want me to know or to be caught seeing me. So essentially she "used me" for the date and the escape. Dating has become more of an excuse for entertainment, free meals, a get-away or a self-esteem boost, or for a change of pace even when someone is already seeing someone else. Not only did I take the risk of approaching her and then spending my money on her, but one should be able to see why Men wouldn't be too enthusiastic about dating these days and have less initiative to get involved with it. While I don't write this that all women should have to take the blame for it, the fact is that this is what you - as women - are up against with competing for the best available Men amongst your female peers.
 
You don't know ANY women who have gone on a date with an "alpha" type guy and not slept with him... on the first date, at that? Not even ONE?
No I didn't say that. I said I don't know any women that are able to resist a man that they perceive to be alpha. Meaning if the guy does not pursue it, then of course no sex happened because resistance wasn't required. At the level of perceived alpha, it's the man that controls whether sex happens or not. I understand this is antithetical to what most have been taught and what most believe, but I've consistently observed this phenomenon for so long that its become one of my Rollo style iron rules.

Now consider: at one time this phenomenon was implicitly endorsed by society. How can I prove this? Because once upon a time, an alpha man that slept with a married woman was considered to be the scum of the Earth; and faced a very real possibility of getting his butt kicked by the woman's Brother, Father, and assorted angry community members. Why? Because it used to be assumed, widely known, and accepted that women can't turn down alpha.

Wow. Where on earth are you meeting women? I've known plenty of women who went so far as to save their virginity for marriage. A handful of these were very attractive young women, courted by and going on dates with some pretty attractive top-tier dudes in our circles back in the day (and from out of our circles, if that matters).
But how many do you know that have saved themselves for marriage while being courted by a perceived alpha actually trying to sleep with them? Keep in mind, 'attractive man' is not the same as 'perceived alpha'. And that word 'perceived' is very important because a certain percentage of those men- over time- will lose that perception as the woman gets to know the man. This is the reason that sexual tension tends to be at its highest early and tends to wain over time; because most people's flaws tend to become exposed- they 'lose the sheen'.

Interesting aside- another reason I'm not a big fan of long, boring engagements- it removes the mystery.

I've always thought this claim - that every single woman in existence will necessarily have sex on a first date as long as he's "alpha" enough is one of the more outrageous. I've certainly seen enough to know it's not actually true, and I tend to assume men who think this way have jaded themselves by consciously or unconsciously seeking out primarily promiscuous women.
Actually the best way to observe this is by watching other people. Because when one is too close to the situation it's difficult to see clearly. When observed in others, it's undeniable. It's not about what a man 'thinks' of women, it's about what he observes.

And by the way, it tends to be the least promiscuous women that demonstrate this phenomenon most demonstrably- so its also not about promiscuity.

PRUDES STILL EXIST, GUYS.
Not in my experience.

This attitude ("all women will put out on the first date for SOMEONE") goes quite nicely with my warning AGAINST making the first moves on a guy, though. I can't suggest any woman do that knowing that people are out there wholesale peddling such ridiculous untruth as established-rule-of-thumb. You literally CAN'T ask a guy out these days without him thinking he's pre-qualified for first date sex.

This isn't about dates. And it's definitely not about making the first move on a man- although I agree with your warning! Most of all, it has nothing whatsoever to do with mens or women attitudes about qualifications. It just is.

Here's a thought- have you ever seen a rich and famous, good looking athlete at a bar or club? If you ever do, watch very closely. I guarantee you that if he wants sex he is going to get it from whoever he wants it from. Whether she is married or not, boyfriend or not, prude or not, etc...

The only exception is a woman with a rock solid relationship with Jesus, because Jesus can do anything.
 
No I didn't say that. I said I don't know any women that are able to resist a man that they perceive to be alpha. Meaning if the guy does not pursue it, then of course no sex happened because resistance wasn't required. At the level of perceived alpha, it's the man that controls whether sex happens or not. I understand this is antithetical to what most have been taught and what most believe, but I've consistently observed this phenomenon for so long that its become one of my Rollo style iron rules.

Now consider: at one time this phenomenon was implicitly endorsed by society. How can I prove this? Because once upon a time, an alpha man that slept with a married woman was considered to be the scum of the Earth; and faced a very real possibility of getting his butt kicked by the woman's Brother, Father, and assorted angry community members. Why? Because it used to be assumed, widely known, and accepted that women can't turn down alpha.


But how many do you know that have saved themselves for marriage while being courted by a perceived alpha actually trying to sleep with them? Keep in mind, 'attractive man' is not the same as 'perceived alpha'. And that word 'perceived' is very important because a certain percentage of those men- over time- will lose that perception as the woman gets to know the man. This is the reason that sexual tension tends to be at its highest early and tends to wain over time; because most people's flaws tend to become exposed- they 'lose the sheen'.

Interesting aside- another reason I'm not a big fan of long, boring engagements- it removes the mystery.


Actually the best way to observe this is by watching other people. Because when one is too close to the situation it's difficult to see clearly. When observed in others, it's undeniable. It's not about what a man 'thinks' of women, it's about what he observes.

And by the way, it tends to be the least promiscuous women that demonstrate this phenomenon most demonstrably- so its also not about promiscuity.


Not in my experience.



This isn't about dates. And it's definitely not about making the first move on a man- although I agree with your warning! Most of all, it has nothing whatsoever to do with mens or women attitudes about qualifications. It just is.

Here's a thought- have you ever seen a rich and famous, good looking athlete at a bar or club? If you ever do, watch very closely. I guarantee you that if he wants sex he is going to get it from whoever he wants it from. Whether she is married or not, boyfriend or not, prude or not, etc...

The only exception is a woman with a rock solid relationship with Jesus, because Jesus can do anything.
Based and Red Pilled Sirr! Your Red Pilled analysis is truly non-pareil.
 

messaggera

Woodpecker
Woman
But how does that change anything? The fact is that the woman obeyed this idea and it's no accident that she remains unmarried to this day, but she is seeing a lot of male friends on the side always. I brought it up because her father must have been all that much older, and it's disturbing that he was educating his daughter to think this way even back then. Granted, Feminism was around then too.

In a number of your responses I do agree with some of your statements made about dating and females.

However, to this particular statement, mentioned below, it is a generalization. A similar generalization would be to suggest all females should become wives and mothers. Or all females should become wives. There are Christian females who can not have children, as there are Christian females who take Christ as a husband - perhaps it is God's plan. We do not know.

@lairofdionysus retired and unmarried just told me the other day that her father always told her growing up to never allow a Man to pay her bill at the restaurant and that she should seek to become "Financial Independent" and never to build her life up reliant among a Man. The fact that some people were even giving such advice in those times, is pretty disturbing.

It does make a difference to point out the statement is an opinion; rather than a fact because opinions are judgments. Judgements on another individual, or judgements on another individual's behaviour.

Before an opinion is formed we have to know the circumstances; in this case the intentions of the father. As you suggest in the below statement- perhaps the father was sincere in looking out for his daughter (as a female I can see where this makes sense); or he wanted her to devote her life to Christ, but instead she followed a secular path.

I've noticed it more in the last decade than ever before, that women get very uncomfortable if the Man pays (even while hypocritically wanting him to pay) because she knows / feels that she owes him.

Your observations are valid in the above statement - feelings of uncomfortableness.
God have us free will to set our own moral standards. It is up to us how we treat others; just as Jesus Christ did.
 

Starlight

Woodpecker
Woman
Here's a thought- have you ever seen a rich and famous, good looking athlete at a bar or club? If you ever do, watch very closely. I guarantee you that if he wants sex he is going to get it from whoever he wants it from. Whether she is married or not, boyfriend or not, prude or not, etc...
What would a Godly woman be doing in a bar or club lol??? Isn’t the point of those places to participate in hedonism, drunkenness, and hook-up culture? For what it’s worth, I’ve never been to a bar or club so I don’t really know but that’s what I assume... Maybe your research sample is biased toward promiscuity.
 

NoMoreTO

Ostrich
What would a Godly woman be doing in a bar or club lol??? Isn’t the point of those places to participate in hedonism, drunkenness, and hook-up culture? For what it’s worth, I’ve never been to a bar or club so I don’t really know but that’s what I assume... Maybe your research sample is biased toward promiscuity.

My girlfriend is in an online catechism class and is being hit on by the guys. What happened is that it was online so they formed a chat group and exchanged emails. Then everyone has each others contacts, perfect for millennials, so the guys started texting her about the content and then tried to transition to personal chat.

This would be a good way to meet a husband.
 
What would a Godly woman be doing in a bar or club lol??? Isn’t the point of those places to participate in hedonism, drunkenness, and hook-up culture? For what it’s worth, I’ve never been to a bar or club so I don’t really know but that’s what I assume... Maybe your research sample is biased toward promiscuity.
No, this isn't about hedonism or hook up culture, it's about human nature. That's why when we tragically see Pastor's go down, often times it comes with shocking revelations of sexual activity with multiple women in Church, many of those women being married. See Ravi Zacharias. Have you read some of the email strings that were made public in his case? You should read those, they illustrate the situation in all its grotesqueness. And for the record, I'm putting those infidelities 90% on Zacharias and 10% on the women.

Consider the good old days that are bandied about on this forum all the time... when men were honest and women were traditional and didn't act like whores? Well back then, 10-20% of all children born of marriage were shown to have been conceived by another man. And this was in a largely conservative, Christian nation. Why do you think that is?

Alpha men have real sexual power; the depth of which is far more pervasive than many will lead you to believe. This power is often portrayed as a gimmick, a 2 bit transparent hustle, a niche gamut that only works on the bad girls. Its far more than that.

And I really do think that men need to be held accountable for that power; at least the relatively few men that have it. But the answer is not to pretend that it doesn't exist.
 

stugatz

Pelican
What would a Godly woman be doing in a bar or club lol??? Isn’t the point of those places to participate in hedonism, drunkenness, and hook-up culture? For what it’s worth, I’ve never been to a bar or club so I don’t really know but that’s what I assume... Maybe your research sample is biased toward promiscuity.
About 95 times out of 100, you don't want to meet someone at a bar, but my Catholic group would often go do karaoke together or go to a sports bar. It's possible to meet someone of good character there, but very unlikely to the point where I wouldn't suggest going to one to meet people alone.

(I also lived in Milwaukee for ten years, and have never lived as an adult in any other state until recently. Their drinking culture is pretty uniquely pervasive.)
 
Last edited:
What would a Godly woman be doing in a bar or club lol??? Isn’t the point of those places to participate in hedonism, drunkenness, and hook-up culture? For what it’s worth, I’ve never been to a bar or club so I don’t really know but that’s what I assume... Maybe your research sample is biased toward promiscuity.
Yeah, no Christians ever ever set foot in a bar or a club, never ever! :rolleyes: They are too holy for that. Christians also don't dance, don't listen to secular music, and never go to movies. They just live in their holier than thou Christian Bubble and are happy about it; meanwhile Jesus ate with the hookers and tax collectors.
 
What I'm hoping to get out of this thread is how to find a husband during our present corona period.
Such as what to do about masks. One of the qualities successful couples have is mutual attraction.
With masks you can't tell what they look like.
Yes, this thread has been derailed quite a bit.

Honestly I wish I could tell you an easier way, but there's honestly only one solution: Go somewhere where the mask culture hasn't become self-sustaining. Many places will not require mandates in the near future, but people are so conditioned to wear masks they will continue to do so.

Ask yourself this: What are you willing to do to find that husband? Where are you willing to go?
Another thought I had are that engagement rings are a Racket, definitely under the same umbrella as the jewglobohomo.
I mean you can say that but at the same time buying or making jewelry for a woman is a custom as old as time. It's a way to show you value her and a significant symbol of commitment given the sheer value of the ring.

There are many things that are pretty and valuable on this earth. But I think why a woman appreciates and truly values the diamond is because it's always more than just a diamond. It's a message: "I love you. I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you. And to show you how much I'm willing to give up to have you, I will give you a fortune to wear upon your finger. You are worth it to me. You are more precious to me than this stone. Because you are priceless."

A young man has always had to do something in exchange for the hand of the woman he loves. This is just one of the ways our modern culture exemplifies that. I don't think its wrong or vapid. I think it can be something very special.
The last part exists in society because of what I mentioned about the lack of expectations. For one, somehow modern people date or think they can date without expectations or just to try something out but end up seeing someone new the next time after. There is a lack of investment on both sides of modern relationships, however the Man cannot be blamed for any lack of investment for obvious reasons. Most Men are not even guaranteed a second date let alone a chance for something "more" which compels Men to narrow timing down to achieve the goal as soon as possible. Most women I've seen in this era, especially in America though, tend to want to commitments as a result of when a Man dates her, especially once he pays for the date. In fact, I've noticed it more in the last decade than ever before, that women get very uncomfortable if the Man pays (even while hypocritically wanting him to pay) because she knows / feels that she owes him.
And you know who's to blame for this? A epidemic of exploitative men. Women are merely reacting in a way that protects them from the fact that in most cases, exploitative men will choose to prioritize their needs and wants over the woman's, possibly to her detriment.

Women are followers. They fell because their leaders fell first.
I got a no pay policy now for first dates. Sorry your sisters forced me to institute this policy. I refuse to get used again.
I mean you can do it this way, but this sets the precedent of "I assume that you are going to be using me for a meal, and I am more vested in protecting my wallet than acting like a gentleman." Is $20-$40 really worth that much to you? This isn't going to make you popular with the ladies, and if you are looking for someone of high quality, you aren't broadcasting signals they'd be receptive too.
 

Kitty Tantrum

Woodpecker
Woman
I got a no pay policy now for first dates. Sorry your sisters forced me to institute this policy. I refuse to get used again.
Great thing to do if you want to avoid ever going on a second date with a more traditionally-minded woman. ;) :laughter:

I never expected my husband to pay or compensate for the offenses of previous men in any way, at any point in time.

That would have been a very trashy thing to do and likely to turn any decent man away - as it should.
 
Great thing to do if you want to avoid ever going on a second date with a more traditionally-minded woman. ;) :laughter:

I never expected my husband to pay or compensate for the offenses of previous men in any way, at any point in time.

That would have been a very trashy thing to do and likely to turn any decent man away - as it should.
It's okay, I know you're just defending your sisters. Feel bad for your husband now. You outed yourself, your true self. Thank you for proving my point!!!:)

By the way, when the time is right, I have no problem being chivalrous towards a truly Feminine woman. Unfortunately they gotta prove themselves first.
 
Top