Finding a Husband during Corona

budoslavic

Owl
Gold Member
You're derailing this thread.

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Dude, "acting like a gentleman" unfortunately is the trope they rely on to use guys. I take it you haven't been Rollo Tomassi pilled.
Wait until you find that woman you would give anything for. Not because it was expected, but because you wanted too. She really is just that special.

But then again, the woman is only ever as good as the man. Don't expect to find that dream girl unless you are that dream man.

Many of the things poised by Rollo Tomassi are correct, but are easily avoided by being attractive. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Therefore, become the best. Being the cream of the crop while also being a gentleman is the way to go.
It's okay, I know you're just defending your sisters. Feel bad for your husband now. You outed yourself, your true self. Thank you for proving my point!!!:)
But she made a decent point? Don't judge the woman you are getting to know on your first date based off your past experiences with women? Yes, stereotypes exist for a reason, because in general they can be true. But once you get to know the person you have to be willing to put those aside. Individuals aren't a compendium of averages. How would you feel if a woman put down an ultimatum like "We can't hold hands" because some men in her past gripped her in a way that made her feel helpless? It's not fair.

For a repentant man, it seems like you have a lot of unrepentant anger towards women. As a man, you should lead them with poise and gentleness and a willingness to forgive and show a better way, not suspicion.
 

Kitty Tantrum

Woodpecker
Woman
Huh?! You make no sense
Makes as much sense as you calling me a feminist. Its ye olde internette lingo for "please provide an example of your claim."

Calling a gal a feminist just because you don't like what she's saying might work with a lotta girls, but you're barking up the wrong tree here, 100%. :)

(Edit: actually that means it makes more sense than you calling me a feminist. So there.)
 
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Starlight

Woodpecker
Woman
Yeah, no Christians ever ever set foot in a bar or a club, never ever! :rolleyes: They are too holy for that. Christians also don't dance, don't listen to secular music, and never go to movies. They just live in their holier than thou Christian Bubble and are happy about it; meanwhile Jesus ate with the hookers and tax collectors.
EX-hookers and EX-tax collectors just to be clear... “Go and sin no more” is what He said.

I think I touched a nerve here. I apologize for my naïveté about bars and clubs not being hotspots that draw in certain types. I stand corrected. Your experience certainly tops mine by many leagues.
 
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Its cool Kitty, bash me some more, I can take it. You're the happily married one. I'm the jerk, my feelings don't count.
Maybe since she's married and you aren't, her advice may have some weight?

I used to think like you. I thought I knew better than everyone else, that I was the truly enlightened one.

But then I saw that everyone else had what I wanted and I didn't. The problem was me.

I had had my perceptions of women warped by social media in a way not fair to them. I nursed my hatred of the sins of this world rather than focus on my own sin. I thought that my failures were because of this world.

As soon as I began to focus on my own struggles and my own shortcomings, I saw growth and hope.

It is ok to hate many things, and I too hate the blights of this world.
But hatred cannot build. It can only destroy.
But love is what makes you into the person you need to be.
Love for your brothers. Love for your sisters. Love for your people. Love for your church. Love for your spouse. Love for your God and father in heaven.
This is what makes a man's life bear fruit. That is the teaching of savior Jesus.
Only when I let go of hatred, and chose to love those around me despite this awful world we live in, did I find true peace and contentment.
 
Kitty, I hate to see how you treat your husband when you disagree with him. Your responses are telling. I am just an idiot stranger on the internet, I don't care what people think of me nor do I need people to agree with me.
 
Thanks for agreeing with me. I don't know much about her on the first date.
But you are also wrong. You have to be willing to give that woman the benefit of the doubt. Why, you've given her the benefit of the doubt already by asking her out on a date! She's clearly already worth your time.

Why do you assume she wants to exploit you? For all you know, she is a wonderful young woman, who wants nothing more than a man who will care for her and point her to Christ. But by refusing to pay for dinner, you are indirectly saying "I assume you are exploitative and am not willing to risk 20-40 dollars for you to have a nice evening."

What's the best quality in a Godly leader? Selflessness. That's not the message you send by refusing to pay for her dinner.
 

Eusebius Erasmus

Woodpecker
This thread is descending into chaos.

Eventually, as Christians, we must return to traditional match-making, in which family and friends pick a husband or wife for you.

When you're young (or middle-aged even), you lacks the maturity and objectivity to pick a spouse.

As long as your family are devout Christians who trust in the Lord, they will pick a good spouse for you. Our modern notions of romantic love are silly anyway; love takes daily struggle and work.
 
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This thread is descending into chaos.

Eventually, as Christians, we must return to traditional match-making, in which family and friends pick a husband or wife for you.

When you're young (or middle-aged even), one lacks the maturity and balance to pick a spouse.

As long as your family are devout Christians who trust in the Lord, they will pick a good spouse for you. Our modern notions of romantic love are silly anyway; love takes daily struggle and work.
I agree with this sentiment to an extent. I think there should be a balance.

Young people (And by young people I mean people out of high school or university, who are capable marrying within 1-2 years. Anything longer than that is very hard on a couple) should be allowed to have a say in who they date, at least initially. I think that freedom allows for an easier development of physical attraction, which isn't the most important thing, but it's still important to have within a relationship. I often picked up on queues on who my parents thought might be good partners. "She's so sweet" or "She's such a nice young woman" meant to me "We wouldn't be opposed to you dating her and she might make a wonderful partner."

At the same time, both families should be heavily invested in helping to screen the respective partners. The young couple should then take the advice of their parents very seriously. I'd would go so far as to be willing to break up should the parents believe it's best for the both of them.
 

Kitty Tantrum

Woodpecker
Woman
Kitty, I hate to see how you treat your husband when you disagree with him. Your responses are telling.
I afford my HUSBAND a measure of respect second to none but GOD.

That my respect for my husband does not extend to all men on the internet does not make me a feminist.

You're offended that I suggested your approach is misguided, but I did not attack you, I merely pointed out the flaw in your reasoning, and what it is likely to yield.

But since this is the Ladies' forum, I'll turn the advice around, because it's a good all-purpose husband-searching tip: your baggage is YOURS. Your prospective husband deserves a clean slate. He's not there to make up for whoever might have hurt you; entrust THAT work to The Lord.
 
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