Finding a Husband during Corona

This is great advice. Could you please elaborate on what you mean by men being pre-screened at the grocery store? Does that mean that a man by himself at such a store is single? I also had my interest peaked when you said a woman started the interaction with you. In my experience guys seem like this at 1st but if you keep initiating then they don't. In "Lady" it says to let the world come to you (passive energy attracts active energy) and if you do the work for a man in the beginning you will have o do the work for him to the end. I don't think I can wear the pant in the relationship b/c I have a high degree of feminine tendencies and behavior which are not conducive to a leader. Do the rules get changed/lax w/ covid? Or stay the course?

Honestly as a man, even though I come across pretty women in public all the time and often the will is there to come up to them and ask them on a date, there's just one in a million chance that she will be a practicing christian. There's way more chance that she will be an atheist and I don't want to waste my time with them.
So my advice is don't look for men in public. If men in public come up to you, be straightforward and ask them if they are christians and tell them that the only date you will have at first is at mass.
Anyway for me, I would say go to Church and participate in the different events and activities and look for a man there.
 

Pelern

Sparrow
What type of guy do you want to meet? Once you figure that out ask yourself where would I find this guy?

I'll give you a couple examples. He is an outdoor type of guy? Then check out some local hiking trails and maybe some bike paths/walk ways in your area.

Is he athletic and into sports or working out? Join a gym or a mixed sport league in your community.

Is he an entrepreneur? Join some local business meet up groups.
 
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stugatz

Pelican
I've mentioned this before - dancing is a good way to meet potential dates on your wavelength. It does depend on the style, though - definitely avoid something overtly sexual like salsa or tango.

Find a swing dancing group if one is in your city/town, preferably one with a quick tutorial class beforehand where you frequently switch partners as they teach you the basic moves. It's also very easy for a woman to pick this up, as following is far easier than leading. (Ballroom I have close to no experience with, but from what I remember, everyone in my class was well over 50.) Take some classes, too, maybe - good way to at least get your body moving and get passive exercise - although this definitely isn't as beneficial as something hardcore like capoeira.

In my own experience, people into swing & ballroom dancing tend to lean conservative, consciously or unconsciously. Even if you're a liberal into the aesthetics of the era, why would you like them if you hate patriarchy and you are happy it isn't 1950 anymore? Maybe they played a little too much Bioshock a decade ago?

This really isn't a magic bullet, obviously, but if you want to meet people, get out there and do activities that involve mingling with strangers. Karaoke is passable, but people don't get nearly as social during that. (Trivia, no - everyone stays in their groups.)

Sadly, we're in the middle of the coof scare, and my post here would have been a lot more useful then.
 

OutlawJustice

Sparrow
Woman
I've mentioned this before - dancing is a good way to meet potential dates on your wavelength. It does depend on the style, though - definitely avoid something overtly sexual like salsa or tango.

Find a swing dancing group if one is in your city/town, preferably one with a quick tutorial class beforehand where you frequently switch partners as they teach you the basic moves. It's also very easy for a woman to pick this up, as following is far easier than leading. (Ballroom I have close to no experience with, but from what I remember, everyone in my class was well over 50.) Take some classes, too, maybe - good way to at least get your body moving and get passive exercise - although this definitely isn't as beneficial as something hardcore like capoeira.

In my own experience, people into swing & ballroom dancing tend to lean conservative, consciously or unconsciously. Even if you're a liberal into the aesthetics of the era, why would you like them if you hate patriarchy and you are happy it isn't 1950 anymore? Maybe they played a little too much Bioshock a decade ago?

This really isn't a magic bullet, obviously, but if you want to meet people, get out there and do activities that involve mingling with strangers. Karaoke is passable, but people don't get nearly as social during that. (Trivia, no - everyone stays in their groups.)

Sadly, we're in the middle of the coof scare, and my post here would have been a lot more useful then.
The dancing is a good idea. Never thought of that. From what you've you've said about the switching partners sounds like a good way to start small talk. The class itself provides a commonality to talk about. The only thing I'm hesitant about is the avg age is 50+.
 

stugatz

Pelican
The dancing is a good idea. Never thought of that. From what you've you've said about the switching partners sounds like a good way to start small talk. The class itself provides a commonality to talk about. The only thing I'm hesitant about is the avg age is 50+.
Avoid ballroom, then. That for some reason appeals only to middle aged to senior people. Interestingly enough, swing is usually 95% people in their 20s.
 

Mrs.DanielH

Robin
Woman
I've mentioned this before - dancing is a good way to meet potential dates on your wavelength. It does depend on the style, though - definitely avoid something overtly sexual like salsa or tango.

Find a swing dancing group if one is in your city/town, preferably one with a quick tutorial class beforehand where you frequently switch partners as they teach you the basic moves. It's also very easy for a woman to pick this up, as following is far easier than leading. (Ballroom I have close to no experience with, but from what I remember, everyone in my class was well over 50.) Take some classes, too, maybe - good way to at least get your body moving and get passive exercise - although this definitely isn't as beneficial as something hardcore like capoeira.
I'm so disappointed that covid shut down things like that. I love dancing and got into swing dance and line dancing in college. It is so fun but the majority of the community members participating were like 50+. Didn't deter me from having a great time and getting in a workout! Can you imagine going to a dance hall in this day and age?! Sadly too many people drank the covid kool-aid. Maybe if we move somewhere with less strict lockdown measures we could find a swing dance group. But I am doubtful since most places aren't even doing coffee hour after church :(
 

OutlawJustice

Sparrow
Woman
Avoid ballroom, then. That for some reason appeals only to middle aged to senior people. Interestingly enough, swing is usually 95% people in their 20s.
Would you happen to know how a woman can be approachable at the gym? It's a place where I go anyway and finding a potential suitor that also like being fit is good. Whenever I'm there I don't see many opportunities to socialize w/ anyone. It doesn't seem like I'm the only one either. People are closed off w/ their headphones too.
 

Salinger

Kingfisher
I can’t speak to digital dating but I think it’s really important that the man, however you meet him, is somehow connected to your social circle even by a few degrees of separation. Dating random strangers seems really risky even if they seem like really amazing people. What if he’s actually married? Or lying about his career? I’ve had girl friends be completely duped by men only to find out waaaay later on that they weren’t who they projected themselves to be. Very sad. Having a somewhat connected social circle lets your peers vet the man for you and can checkout whether he’s legit or not.

But, of course, that can’t always be the case. Other ways to meet a man might be to think about some hobbies you enjoy or interests that are important to you and then try to find a group to join. I heard a great way to get to meet new people is at dog parks or at the gym. Volunteering with a charitable organization is another option. People are very chatty and social when hiking and camping (but I would recommend not going by yourself). The main thing is that, even with COVID, keep putting yourself out there.

But most of all: Pray. Trust that God has a plan for you and, if it’s His will, you and your future husband’s paths will cross one day :blush:

Many men like myself are new to a city and don't have friends here yet. And frankly, when you get older, it becomes very hard to meet new friends, unless it's a study group from church that you hang out with. And even then, a lot of the time, those are people who aren't really friends, but fellow Christians that you do things with.

Guys like me are always out by ourselves. And since we don't go to bars or clubs, and don't have friends inviting us to parties, we're hoping to meet women at a grocery store or dog park.

So IMO, this "he must be vetted by friends first" is needlessly making it harder for men and women to find each other and hurts certain men in particular.
 

stugatz

Pelican
Would you happen to know how a woman can be approachable at the gym? It's a place where I go anyway and finding a potential suitor that also like being fit is good. Whenever I'm there I don't see many opportunities to socialize w/ anyone. It doesn't seem like I'm the only one either. People are closed off w/ their headphones too.
Don't put a whole lot of faith into the gym, as people are going there to get through their workouts and leave - almost nobody I've met loves exercising or gets one of those "runner's highs". Keep your eyes open, though.

I haven't met a lot of men who would object to a woman starting a conversation with them at the gym. You want it to be an organic conversation with no agenda, though, and don't ask him out the first time you have chit-chat - wait for him to do it. (I've been asked out before, and when a woman initiates the date, I usually think, "wait a minute, I'm supposed to do that - is there something up with this chick?")

Me Too made a lot of men afraid to chat with women - I myself these days don't go out of my way to do it. If you want to open yourself up to conversations, try not wearing headphones to the gym. I see headphones and usually don't engage, unless we've made strong eye contact and it looks like she wants to say more than a polite hello - but even then I have to awkwardly talk through the headphones and wait for her to take them off.

Stay away from anyone on very heavy weights, they actually can't get distracted or they'll get hurt. Although maybe you can ask one of them to spot you if you do something like bench press. (There's a reason why people going at 3 AM are usually the buff guys - they don't want to get talked to or stared at. The only women I've seen at the gym that late flat out just can't sleep and decide to make something of the insomnia.)
 
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Starlight

Woodpecker
Woman
Many men like myself are new to a city and don't have friends here yet. And frankly, when you get older, it becomes very hard to meet new friends, unless it's a study group from church that you hang out with. And even then, a lot of the time, those are people who aren't really friends, but fellow Christians that you do things with.

Guys like me are always out by ourselves. And since we don't go to bars or clubs, and don't have friends inviting us to parties, we're hoping to meet women at a grocery store or dog park.

So IMO, this "he must be vetted by friends first" is needlessly making it harder for men and women to find each other and hurts certain men in particular.
You’re right that what I wrote was unnecessarily restrictive. However, I think the point I was trying to make still stands which is that a man should have a community that he’s a part of (that aren’t just his friends) who can vouch for his character and reputation, and confirm that he is who he says he is. That’s the heart of what I was trying say. A church group or study group, etc., would probably be sufficient. If I were single, I would be leery of a man who presented himself as having no social circle or who wouldn’t introduce me to his Bible study group, etc.
 

Starlight

Woodpecker
Woman
That being said, I have noticed current circumstances have the effect of separating the wheat from the chaff a bit. You might see a tall, objectively handsome, masculine looking man in the checkout lane... except he doesn't take his mask off as he exits the store, and instead keeps wearing it as he dodges around the scary unmasked people in the parking lot, gets into his car and drives away, still wearing the stupid mask... BOOM, DISQUALIFIED.

Anyone who is actually worried about meeting in person because they're afraid of catching "COVID" - DISQUALIFIED.

Anyone who gets the vaccine - DISQUALIFIED.

Learn to sniff out fear. Don't go anywhere near the men who reek of it.

Even and especially if you yourself still entertain or harbor the notion that this is a real pandemic instead of the globalist scam that it is. The last thing ANY woman needs is a man who makes decisions based on fear and the desire for safety and security. That's feminine behavior.
1614278554700.jpeg
Lol :laughter:
 

OutlawJustice

Sparrow
Woman
Churches that are less restricted - trad Catholic is one, not too sure about Eastern Rite Catholic or Orthodoxy, no clue about anything Protestant.

However, not all of these have continued their young adult groups or after-church mingling during the pandemic. Worse, some are destination parishes that get people driving two hours to get there.
I am perusing my Catholic faith more these days. Which I'm so thankful for. I was baptized when I was 11 but that was really the extent of it. We moved around a lot b/c my parents worked for the Army. I must admit that getting into the faith as an adult is not easy. When I make mistakes, I feel incredibly embarrassed. I joined the RCIA but I'm the only person in there that doesn't bring anyone along b/c I'm new to this town. I see that it's easier for someone who has a mentor to guide/mentor them.
 

stugatz

Pelican
I am perusing my Catholic faith more these days. Which I'm so thankful for. I was baptized when I was 11 but that was really the extent of it. We moved around a lot b/c my parents worked for the Army. I must admit that getting into the faith as an adult is not easy. When I make mistakes, I feel incredibly embarrassed. I joined the RCIA but I'm the only person in there that doesn't bring anyone along b/c I'm new to this town. I see that it's easier for someone who has a mentor to guide/mentor them.
Actually - same. My father was in the military and we moved ten times growing up. It was interesting seeing how Catholicism differed in the different regions of the US we lived in.

I would suggest you look for a Bible study group at your church to make friends, or see if there’s a woman’s group or young adult group. Hopefully not everything is still shut down due to pandemic rules.
 
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OutlawJustice

Sparrow
Woman
Actually - same. My father was in the military and we moved ten times growing up. It was interesting seeing how Catholicism differed in the different regions of the US we lived in.

I would suggest you look for a Bible study group at your church to make friends, or see if there’s a woman’s group or young adult group. Hopefully not everything is still shut down due to pandemic rules.
That's interesting to me. I want to ask tomorrow.
A little over a month ago I accidently bombarded a bible study at the university chapel right outside base I've been going to as of late. I liked it. Prior to this, I've only heard of bible studies but didn't really know what they were. I think it was the best circumstance for me to of accidently joined one b/c I might of been too nervous to voluntarily signed up for one. I know I not as knowledgeable about my faith as those who grew up as kids going to church.
 

OutlawJustice

Sparrow
Woman
You’re right that what I wrote was unnecessarily restrictive. However, I think the point I was trying to make still stands which is that a man should have a community that he’s a part of (that aren’t just his friends) who can vouch for his character and reputation, and confirm that he is who he says he is. That’s the heart of what I was trying say. A church group or study group, etc., would probably be sufficient. If I were single, I would be leery of a man who presented himself as having no social circle or who wouldn’t introduce me to his Bible study group, etc.
That great advice. I think at a church I have a good shot of finding someone who is conservative leaning.
 

OutlawJustice

Sparrow
Woman
Many men like myself are new to a city and don't have friends here yet. And frankly, when you get older, it becomes very hard to meet new friends, unless it's a study group from church that you hang out with. And even then, a lot of the time, those are people who aren't really friends, but fellow Christians that you do things with.

Guys like me are always out by ourselves. And since we don't go to bars or clubs, and don't have friends inviting us to parties, we're hoping to meet women at a grocery store or dog park.

So IMO, this "he must be vetted by friends first" is needlessly making it harder for men and women to find each other and hurts certain men in particular.
I do sometimes wish to get those "chance encounters" but these days men are so scared of interacting with women b/c they don't want to appear like they are "perverts" just b/c they approach a woman. Silly but that's what media is doing to our men. I'm also noticing more men are wearing character t-shirts like the media is encouraging them to never grow up. But women and society need strong men. Not boys. Please be brave.
What type of guy do you want to meet? Once you figure that out ask yourself where would I find this guy?

I'll give you a couple examples. He is an outdoor type of guy? Then check out some local hiking trails and maybe some bike paths/walk ways in your area.

Is he athletic and into sports or working out? Join a gym or a mixed sport league in your community.

Is he an entrepreneur? Join some local business meet up groups.
I joined a gym b/c the gym that I get for free on my Air Force base just required wearing the mask under the SecDef. XP So maybe I can attract the eye of a conservative gentleman there. It seems like people struggle as to how to interact w/ other people in a gym environment (let alone potential suiters). The headphone wearing is a real bearer. I can't engage in small chi-chat if they wear those. I'm really good at small talk but even I wonder what I should say in this environment. I actually saw some really bad advice on an "eHow" video on how to flirt at the gym. They were telling guys not to talk to girls while their stretching... I think that's the best time.
 

OutlawJustice

Sparrow
Woman
Honestly as a man, even though I come across pretty women in public all the time and often the will is there to come up to them and ask them on a date, there's just one in a million chance that she will be a practicing christian. There's way more chance that she will be an atheist and I don't want to waste my time with them.
So my advice is don't look for men in public. If men in public come up to you, be straightforward and ask them if they are christians and tell them that the only date you will have at first is at mass.
Anyway for me, I would say go to Church and participate in the different events and activities and look for a man there.
I was wondering if I wore the cross as jewelry, would that help a man like yourself identify a Christian girl and give you more faith in approaching her? I was thinking wearing cross studded earrings to say it w/o saying it. Kind of like how Christians did when they drew the fish to find each other.
 
I do sometimes wish to get those "chance encounters" but these days men are so scared of interacting with women b/c they don't want to appear like they are "perverts" just b/c they approach a woman. Silly but that's what media is doing to our men. I'm also noticing more men are wearing character t-shirts like the media is encouraging them to never grow up. But women and society need strong men. Not boys. Please be brave.

I joined a gym b/c the gym that I get for free on my Air Force base just required wearing the mask under the SecDef. XP So maybe I can attract the eye of a conservative gentleman there. It seems like people struggle as to how to interact w/ other people in a gym environment (let alone potential suiters). The headphone wearing is a real bearer. I can't engage in small chi-chat if they wear those. I'm really good at small talk but even I wonder what I should say in this environment. I actually saw some really bad advice on an "eHow" video on how to flirt at the gym. They were telling guys not to talk to girls while their stretching... I think that's the best time.

Ok Roosh... we really need to make it clear on the 'what's new' and forum name's who's who.
 

Rob Banks

Pelican
That question and that thread might actually be a good starting point for the forum to help like minded men and women get together.
Why not make a distinct forum section of single people who are looking to marry and build a family?
So, in other words, turn the forum into a dating website?
 
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