EndsExpect said:
Since the forum is making a bit of a U-Turn, I think might be worthwhile for me to drop this information in the week before I go.
I'm going to say up front that I believe finding a Muslim or a Hindu wife is pretty easy, because those cultures seriously reinforce the religious teaching and make the women naturally higher quality.
This primary question comes from Christian guys who really struggle to find a woman in a culture that pushes females in the opposite direction of quality. So, I'm just going to put down my top observations here.
1. Submission. The Christian religion tells women to submit to their husbands as they would submit to God. If a woman won't submit to God... then she won't submit to you either. Notice the Bible doesn't say "submit to your husband if he is perfect or only when he is right"... it says always. I know women who have a very willful spirit, but are submissive to their husband. This is the type I like most. Either way when you are dealing with a woman you should make this a serious topic of discussion and then pay extreme attention to this. Don't be afraid to push the envelope here. Also, you will run into women who are naturally submissive, you have to watch this type because they can fool you.
By the way... the culture literally tells women to be dominant or equal to a man. So, this is a great test of what they actually believe.
2. Spiritually minded. Women that are happy to attend church. The ones that show up on Easter and Christmas only are a bad choice. You want someone who will be an encouragement to your faith, not a burden. Some women only like church for the social aspect so watch for this too. A spiritual woman will engage in bible study and read or study on her own time. Christians call this being "Equally Yoked".
3. Helper. It's important that a woman you choose be a helper to you. Think of the type of woman that will make you a lunch before you leave for work. Not all women help in the same way though. If she helps you fill out TPS reports for work, that can be just as good as ironing your clothes. Don't get caught up in the 1950's stereotype woman.
4. Children. This is just my opinion, but I've noticed that solid Christian women enjoy kids and family. You have to look pretty deep on this though. I know quite a few ladies who are good housewives and solid Christian women, but on some level resent the work they have to do for their kids. Hiking a mountain is hard work, but lots of people enjoy it and do it for fun. This should be the approach to caring for kids. Overly controlling women really struggle. I will say this... women who like kids often want to have lots of them. I suggest that this might be a way to determine. Ultimately it may remain unknown until you have one with her as I think most women don't know themselves how they will feel about it. I have noticed that women from large families tend to love kids more than ones from small families.
Last point on children. Careers for women are a tough subject. Know that across the board women find over 60% of their affair partners at work. I think that a good Christian woman will choose children over careers every time. I know some women I consider to be great that work 2 or 3 days a month. I recently saw a church implode after the church secretary got caught with the pastor. So, my suggestion is to have a woman who works less than 20 hours a week, or stays home. I know housewives tend to go crazy a bit... so you have to compensate for this by giving her some outlets. This is just my opinion and everyone is different.
5. Sexuality. This is a super tough one. I suggest you just talk about it with her in advance. If you are and aged out player... I think maybe be up front about it. If you are a virgin... I strongly suggest you find a girl that is the same. Some churches have lots of 30 something single moms. I'm not going to tell you that these women are unworthy, but lets just say they are significantly higher risk, and I don't even care what kind of sob story they give you. If they married an asshole at age 19 and divorced after a mess of a marriage, keep in mind she picked that guy, and thats likely what she is attracted to naturally. My suggestion is that you never marry a woman with more experience than yourself. I also suggest you marry a woman that can handle your libido. If you wind up in a sexless marriage, something is deadly wrong.
I want to say that even though I'm posting info on Christian women, anyone of any faith is welcome to jump in and provide any info. I'm including atheists in that because believing that there is nothing requires faith too.
This is an interesting topic for me, as I have some experiences in the past few years on this topic. And I am interested in responses too.
1. Submission- First, let me say that the church I have the most experience with, is in a very conservative area of the nation. This is important, as you'll soon see.
We had men's meetings before church most times. And we spoke of this issue. Lots of elders there, so it was interesting. It was said that "the reason young men get married is usually for the promise of adequate sex. But, we all learn differently" lol!
"And the woman marries for life/financial freedom/stability/quality family life".
When the subject or the book of Ephesians got mentioned in the full church setting, and esp/ on FB among men and women from our church, it was unbelievable how many of these women who seemed so Christian and nice, would get downright crappy about the mere mention of Ephesians. I found this particularly interesting.
And the women's responses got to be darkly humorous:whip:. Even and especially the older ones (55-85 year olds). I'm guessing you certainly wouldn't see this attitude in a Muslim place of worship! :exclamation:
I'm tired so that's all I'll say for now, but hope it brings some convo on this subject.
