Finding a Religious Wife - Discussion

[Coja Petrus Uscan]

Thanks for the info.

I've come to a realisation that I was doing the whole wife hunting thing wrong. Particularly due to my life goals.

I have very strong biological conservative wiring. Even when I was swimming in a sea of left-wing culture as a teenager it was visible in my dislike for txt speak, the acronym for "laugh out loud" (which I have never used), bad manners, louty behaviour and so on. At 15-16 I fell out of most social circles, despite being previously very popular. I couldn't keep up with all the social climbing that dramatically increased at that age; the endless drink binges; posting selfies on Bebo and MySpace... I found the entire culture of no value and wasn't welcome.

I had been very subversive in school and messed lots of stuff up for both staff and pupils. I managed to reorganise my year to be very unique in terms of character. It was an odd mixture of humility and mischief; sandwiched in between two degenerate years of raw ego and hedonism. But the power of the nothing drink, drugs and party culture that took hold around age 15-18 could not be subverted.

For quite a long time I was quite jealous and dejected that I wasn't welcome in the mainstream of youth culture. But there was no alternative to the mainstream presented.

In my early 20s I came across aspects of traditional American culture, like homeschooling - the Ron Paul-type stream. And I was very taken by it. It became a dream to live rurally, homeschool and so on.

Later I came across Stefan Molyenux. I don't think he deserves some of the criticism he gets. I think I'd be at least a couple of years behind on this path if it wasn't for him. And I may not be on this path at all.

It was from him I first got my first red pilling on relationships and insights into healthier ones. At this stage I had no idea how I would find someone and wasn't really expecting it to ever happen and was doing nothing to make it happen.

It was also at this age I started to think that a Christian woman would be much more suitable for me. That is something that has been playing in my mind for years, slowly more and more.

I was not raised as a Christian, though in school I was taught about it. When I was very young I remember believing in Jesus, as I went to a Methodist nursery. But my parents were not religious. In school one priest who spoke to us regularly was very inspiring. Though I now realise in hindsight he was probably a lefty. As a result of his talks there has only been one person who inspired me in my life, JC. Though unfortunately of a self-depreciating nature. He was a Protestant, of course.

In my ventures abroad to meet women I haven't been particularly choosy in my selection. At first I was quite impressed with various aspects of the women and some of the things they said. Some of the things they said made me think I'd reached the promised land. But it was as those have describe in this thread - churchian. One girl sat me aside to tell me the importance of the church (Orthodox). It was all great, but I've never seen any evidence she actually believes it and she has never mentioned it again. They could be very feminine, delicate, sweet. But by and large they were full of all manner of modern rubbish, like career paths, films, music, TV, attention hamster wheels and so on.

The two exceptions to this were both raised to be married, one at 18 and one after they finish university. Boyfriends were not allowed. Both of those two will have done more or less anything I wanted them to. One of them was self-described as a diest. Her nature was very different from other girls I've come across. She reminded me of The Pooh Bear. She had an odd quiet, sweet, pleasantness and was devoid of all various forms of vulgarity. Difficult to describe. But I cut this off for reasons I won't go into.

Beyond those two none of the others will have done virtually anything for me. I never discuss money with them, but they will be able to read that I have more options than most. It doesn't mean anything to them. I'm sure you can find some gold digging thots that would be interested, but I think I am immune to being in their corsshairs. Most modernised women are interested in several streams of opportunities and you will be somewhere towards the back of these. At best you can stick around for a year and hope you become more important.

It appears the religion, as noted, is just a way of keeping face, saying "Yes, I have good values and can attract good men."

This is where this thread comes in. If you find the girl who genuinely has submitted to God, then you can be pretty sure of where their life will go. With the modern woman on the other hand, she may get a job, she may want to move city, she may want to spend time apart, to find herself, drift off reading The Chronicles of Ra and listening to whale music. And she doesn't want the quite life of close connections (serotonin). She wants the open life with fleeting, weak connections (dopamine).

If the woman submits to you, then you have a fairly good idea of where you are going. The divorce stats aren't great for Christians, but those that do get divorced are probably overwhelmingly churchian. The divorce rate for Catholics who don't use contraception is 2% and that's against a backdrop of Clown World, feminist divorce laws etc.

If we knew the divorce rate of such women I imagine it is something similar.

With most of these women I will have had to hitch my life to theirs, more than the other way round. The primary driver of the relationship would have been their career, which I don't care about and is worth a pittance at the cost of their femininity and more.

All I want to do is live rural, hopefully among people with at least roughly similar ideas, with a wife who is doing what is useful to me (us), having children like clockwork and building a fort against Clown World and collapse.

For a long time I have been sacrificing my above dream for the prospect of women who aren't really worth much to me. A complete change is needed. God pill swallowed.

 

[NoMoreTO]

I'm starting to believe its easier to Convert a Muslim girl to Christianity, than to take a decent Christian girl and teach her the virtue of obedience to her husband.

 

[Coja Petrus Uscan]

I'm starting to believe its easier to Convert a Muslim girl to Christianity, than to take a decent Christian girl and teach her the virtue of obedience to her husband.

What avenues have you perused with Christians? Churches in your country? Churches abroad? Christian dating sites? There are some genuinely traditional girls on those sites, though maybe not in high numbers.

The two exceptions to my experience were both of a Muslim background, but one, as mentioned one did not consider themselves a Muslim, something which their father did not know.

Experience in Russia so far is that the packaging is much better than in The West, i.e. they are more pleasant, attractive, feminine and receptive. But underneath it's the roughly the same package. I think the key point is these women are not specifically looking for marriage. They are looking to date and maybe something will happen. As a result you are still looking at women who congregate at The Wall; all code for sampled the carousel and fell off.

Experience with Muslims girls is that they want to get married and will probably say so in your first conversation. If they wanted to date they probably can't.

My experience is that it would be very difficult to pull off though, as it would generally involve them having to cast of their family.

 

[N°6]

I'm starting to believe its easier to Convert a Muslim girl to Christianity, than to take a decent Christian girl and teach her the virtue of obedience to her husband.

The apex fallacy of my personal experience with Muslim women supports your belief.

At the very least, you can have a religious discussion with Muslim women when the same topics would just trigger most western women into neurotic tantrums.

 

[MichaelWitcoff]

I'm starting to believe its easier to Convert a Muslim girl to Christianity, than to take a decent Christian girl and teach her the virtue of obedience to her husband.

Given that half our priests would try to hinder your efforts, you're probably not wrong. I've been shocked by the amount of feminism that has infected the modern Church, even in supposedly traditional circles.

 

[redbeard]

I'm going to emphasize something Roosh said on tour. Faith should be #1 quality you look for in a girl. That means you might have to hedge on personality, interests, even looks. I don't know what y'alls prospecting process looks like but it's something to keep in mind.

Meeting girls out and about is a sure way to find one whose faith is "Churchian." Finding one in your church is a sure way to find one who's on the same page about nearly everything. That's why I don't get why you would even consider talking to Muslim chicks. That's a big hill to climb converting her to Christianity.

 

[Coja Petrus Uscan]

That's why I don't get why you would even consider talking to Muslim chicks. That's a big hill to climb converting her to Christianity.

I don't think the conversion is the issue. I've talked to quite a lot and under the bonnet of the iron fist of Islam there is huge dissatisfaction among the women. It depends on the country but many have found out that European men are much better options than their men. Chiefly, they don't expect to be beaten up by Europeans, but they do by their own men. They often have dreams of a gallant prince, with light skin and blue eyes ... aaaaahhhhhhh!

If they are higher class then there is a good chance they aren't really religious or deist. I came across one who wears a hijab who described themselves as a "agnostic Muslim". Others are trying to get out of the hijab, dodge forced marriages.

Their idiot men don't know what a big mistake they are making sending their daughters to university, if they want to preserve their desert religion.

 

[Mike_Key]

OP, great post, I think many guys would be good to find such a wife. This reminds me of articles on femme fatales and other great axioms, the Men's reading material that has been recently banned from WordPress and other sites. If a man wants someone to care for him and bury him, ultimately, when he dies then he'll need to find a wife. Along with that he can have help at home; not needing to eat at the Wendy's salad bar alone each night, in order to merely eat healthily.

About femme fatales, I've know a few latinas like this, they didn't know how to laugh. They had no sense of humor which if you are spiritual - then you know what that may mean. They looked amazing physically, well at least to some guys, but they had seen some chaos in their lives that led them to be filled with a strong drive (to be and do it solo) and to be angry with the world.

A Christian wife that you find at Church may have some baggage from the past but hopefully she'll have heard about 100 sermons on how to be humble. I've seen a guy arrive to the USA from a now run down, once rich, country, recently turned Socialist. He found a woman in the Church that had kids but was divorced. She was dedicated to her faith and her Church. Now, RP men and MGTOWs will say don't marry a woman with a disable child but he did. He had some kids with her, of his own. She serves him and helps him with his business. She's proven loyal.

Femme Fatales, the ones I've encountered. will have their graduate degrees and a dog. She may have a cat but she'll also have an empty Refrigerator. I once went into one's apartment prior to me marrying and specifically looked in her Refrigerator. She had almost nothing in there. I think she may have had a bottle of water, a prior day's restaurant "salad leftovers" and yogurt. The yogurt may be a stretch. Anyhow, this woman had a history with men, multiple. This woman had no mother. Well, she did but she didn't know her mom's phone number much less where her mom lived. What kind of Grandmother will that be? Think men, think about what you find or settle for; as it will affect the rest of your life. She had a father that was helpful, occasionally. (Keep in mind, I say these things knowing of an uncle of mine that die alone in his rental apt.)

If you're not secular and are looking to get married then you may try to find a wife at Church.

If you are RP/BP, PUA or MGTOW, best wishes.

John 3:16

 

[NoMoreTO]

I'm starting to believe its easier to Convert a Muslim girl to Christianity, than to take a decent Christian girl and teach her the virtue of obedience to her husband.

What avenues have you perused with Christians? Churches in your country? Churches abroad? Christian dating sites? There are some genuinely traditional girls on those sites, though maybe not in high numbers.
...

I have spent some time in Colombia, there the majority of the girls are Catholic. There are some girls there who I could definitely work with, as we have the same faith.

Right now I have a cute muslim 'friend', we are on break because I told her I won't marry her as a muslim, but we still talk and she likes me. I recently have begrudgingly went onto 2 Catholic dating sites. I would say its pretty sparse and its usually people who you would have to fly to see. I used to day game so I was hoping to find someone more keen on traditional life, but I think I will have to try my best in general population.

I attend a Traditional Latin Mass in Canada. Recently the topic of Ephesians came up, the Priest was working through the sacraments and our last one is Matrimony. The Priest interestingly enough opened up this passage for discussion:

[21] Being subject one to another, in the fear of Christ. [22] Let women be subject to their husbands, as to the Lord: [23] Because the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church. He is the saviour of his body. [24] Therefore as the church is subject to Christ, so also let the wives be to their husbands in all things. [25] Husbands, love your wives, as Christ also loved the church, and delivered himself up for it: ….[33] Nevertheless let every one of you in particular love his wife as himself: and let the wife fear her husband. - Ephesians 5, Douay Rheims

So the women essentially began bargaining. They started asking about a man choosing their meals for them, and another asked when it was ok for a wife not to have sex with her husband, and whether a woman can refuse. The Priest was saying that the husband shouldn't use this as a reason to be a dictator and that he was to love his wife.

Then women continued bargaining asking how many times per week or when they could say no, what if the husband was drunk, could he force himself - essentially showing their cards as desiring rebellion. I put my hand up and asked about the passage, and asked whether the most holy thing was always to simply obey, and to submit in all things except those that go against God. The place went a little wild!

The priest was a little soft on the women, I don't totally blame him, he is a celibate Priest and maybe they aren't as aware of womens failings. Anyway he seemed to rebalance and impress upon the women that it is not always the mans fault.

Praise the Lord an Old Guy stood up and quoted some Canon law that women owe their husband conjugal act on demand! He says he is bringing it in next week!

Still overall a little disappointing, the Muslims are right about women. Catholic Doctrine is great on this, but Catholic women in practice aren't properly taught this and keep disappointing me. Why wont these women just say yes, I will submit and obey my husband? That would be the mark of a holy wife. The little muslim friend says this. The funny thing is no woman I ever went out with before called me controlling. But as a Christian man I Want to hear a potential wife say that yes she is subject to the man. Its a hard thing for them to give up.

On a side note, my little muslim friend, she asks for me to order for her quite often when she can't decide. As a Catholic, you are not supposed to try and convert a woman you're seeing, so we are just friends. But after these recent happenings I am thinking I might need to take a more practical approach.

...
Meeting girls out and about is a sure way to find one whose faith is "Churchian." Finding one in your church is a sure way to find one who's on the same page about nearly everything. That's why I don't get why you would even consider talking to Muslim chicks. That's a big hill to climb converting her to Christianity.

These are women going to the Traditional version of the Catholic Mass. They over their heads with veils and wear dresses and not pants at mass. I was thinking the difference might be that the more obedient women are the ones who are raised up in the Church. Even our Church has a lot of 'refugees' from other more modern parishes. Myself included.

If you view a wife who will vow to obey as a religious wife, it might be easier to find a girl who is obedient culturally and help her with her faith.

I picked up the Muslim girl at a coffee shop, thought she was Lebanese which here usually means Catholic. No veil. She's a sweet girl, but yeah, better to stick with your own.

 

[Coja Petrus Uscan]

I recently have begrudgingly went onto 2 Catholic dating sites. I would say its pretty sparse and its usually people who you would have to fly to see. I used to day game so I was hoping to find someone more keen on traditional life, but I think I will have to try my best in general population.

Did you look on Christian Mingle? I had a look on there and there were women (US) who were saying they are looking for a man who will fulfill the patriarchal role of taking control of her. I don't remember the exact words. Other are not so blunt saying they are looking for traditional gender roles etc.

But, yes, the problem with those sites is the traditional girls are sparsely situated. I guessed those are girls who would normally be married off in their church, but either the girl or the family are not happy with the offering and are looking for an upgrade.

One girl posted this photo.

Maybe worth travelling for.

And do you have any comparison to other religions? What attracts me to Catholicism is that it seems to have the highest incidence of families that still have ~8 children.

 

[NoMoreTO]

Catholicism doesn't permit contraception, so any devout Catholic, God willing will have a large family.

So the great thing about being Catholic is that there are lots of women, but the tough thing is that very few of them really want to do the traditional lifestyle. Yes maybe a few kids , but they don't want to obey, and don't take their faith seriously. Women are followers so there is always hope though. Plus I think these Millenials aren't very masculine, which leaves opportunity to scoop younger girls than I would have thought.

I'm kind of out of the game right now. Working a lot, lots of Family Obligations, perusing some profiles, seeing if Islamic girl converts. If I go full wife hunt mode it'll probably mean a move to Colombia, Argentina, or Mexico.

PS. These niche websites to me are a waste, a lot of the profiles aren't really active. Just old profiles to make it look full.

 

[MichaelWitcoff]

It's very rare (not impossible) for a woman whose spirit is fundamentally rebellious to accept the more difficult (for her) passages of Scripture in regards to wifely obedience. And personally I have no desire to "train" a woman in that way at all. What you want to find is a woman who grew up with two parents, in a proper dynamic of male headship, whose understanding of husband-wife relationships has been part of her attitude since childhood (even if never explicitly discussed) and her default is to find a good man and allow him to lead her. For that kind of woman, there is nothing more satisfying. She doesn't *want* to rebel because she sees how happy it made her mom to follow her dad's lead. She'll still test you, but will relax into her feminine role once she knows she can trust you to lead. These women are rare, increasingly so with each passing year, but they do exist (largely not in European cultures, though).

Authority doesn't have to be tyranny. Being in control doesn't have to be controlling. Dominance doesn't have to be forceful. A truly Christlike man leads gently, applying as light a touch as is necessary to guarantee his followers are going along with his plans.

 

[NoMoreTO]

I actually think this is more about the culture at Large reinforcing the rebelliousness than it is about women's intrinsic nature.
I don't think our grandmothers had much trouble doing as their husbands told them. Similar to if you go to another country every woman will say they want a baby in a family, but in NA its not the case. The more comfortable life is, the less clearly demonstrated need for authority between men and women.

 

[N°6]

I'm starting to believe its easier to Convert a Muslim girl to Christianity, than to take a decent Christian girl and teach her the virtue of obedience to her husband.

Given that half our priests would try to hinder your efforts, you're probably not wrong. I've been shocked by the amount of feminism that has infected the modern Church, even in supposedly traditional circles.

I think this might be the toleration of the spirit of Jezebel that Jesus rebuked the church for in Revelation. It manifested itself against Elijah with embodied Jezebel, imprisoned and beheaded John the Baptist who operated under the spirit of Elijah and influences the latter day church.

The ancient readers of Paul’s letters knew exactly what he meant whereby women were to remain under authority ‘because of the angels’.

Rebellion is the sin of witchcraft and we can now see clearly the journey from the boomer rebellion to the point today where witches are cursing the POTUS and are more numerous than Presbyterians.

 

[Coja Petrus Uscan]

She doesn't *want* to rebel because she sees how happy it made her mom to follow her dad's lead. She'll still test you, but will relax into her feminine role once she knows she can trust you to lead...

Authority doesn't have to be tyranny. Being in control doesn't have to be controlling. Dominance doesn't have to be forceful. A truly Christlike man leads gently, applying as light a touch as is necessary to guarantee his followers are going along with his plans.

This seems to be the way.

There needs to be something in relationships for both parties. For women it should be security and peace of mind. Only people with a poor image of themselves (and likely poor behaviour) will stay in particularly lopsided relationships. I've seen a number of guys try and set themselves up as a pack leader, but don't provide any value to their underlings. Does not last long. I know one guy who is a compensatory narcissist, which is the beginning of the tail-end of abusive relationships. He has to reboot his life about ever three years as his relationships don't last longer than that (friends, romance). To be in his life people have to serve his insecurity and there is only so long even fairly duplicitous people will put up with that for.

Of these little Asian girls, they are looking to provide their affection and softness in exchange for safety and security. They want to know their man is dangerous, but that is only used to protect her. If heavy force comes out then the femininity shrivels up as quick as if they were in an office cubicle.

The one I was engaged to was on rookie mode. Didn't have to do anything but reflect her affection back at her as well as provide her daily 'naughty punishment'.

Was just talking with one girl, was married to an Orthodox priest, a stay at home mother. But has now transitioned to being an independent career woman, due to ... domestic violence.

 

[NoMoreTO]

Was just talking with one girl, was married to an Orthodox priest, a stay at home mother. But has now transitioned to being an independent career woman, due to ... domestic violence.

Hard to believe because its just too easy. I don't take a woman at her word when she gives reason of breakup, especially when it is zero her fault. A normal person assumes some responsibility. But maybe the Priest was a tyrant. Still I take the priests' side.

 

[WombRaider]

Was just talking with one girl, was married to an Orthodox priest, a stay at home mother. But has now transitioned to being an independent career woman, due to ... domestic violence.

Hard to believe because its just too easy. I don't take a woman at her word when she gives reason of breakup, especially when it is zero her fault. A normal person assumes some responsibility. But maybe the Priest was a tyrant. Still I take the priests' side.

Few divorces occur without there being infidelity, in my opinion. Most likely she cheated, he found out and slammed a door or something, and there you go: In her mind, it ended because of domestic violence.

 

[Serie A]

That's why I don't get why you would even consider talking to Muslim chicks. That's a big hill to climb converting her to Christianity.

I don't think the conversion is the issue. I've talked to quite a lot and under the bonnet of the iron fist of Islam there is huge dissatisfaction among the women. It depends on the country but many have found out that European men are much better options than their men. Chiefly, they don't expect to be beaten up by Europeans, but they do by their own men. They often have dreams of a gallant prince, with light skin and blue eyes ... aaaaahhhhhhh!

If they are higher class then there is a good chance they aren't really religious or deist. I came across one who wears a hijab who described themselves as a "agnostic Muslim". Others are trying to get out of the hijab, dodge forced marriages.

Their idiot men don't know what a big mistake they are making sending their daughters to university, if they want to preserve their desert religion.

The world's oldest continously-functioning university was founded in the year 859 (1,160 years ago) at Fez in Morocco by Fatima al-Fihri, the daughter of a successful merchant. It seems doubtful that the preservation of the Islamic religion is going to be imperiled by Muslim women attending tertiary education institutions.

 

[Serie A]

I sense a lot of despondency on this thread, which is a real shame because it need not be that hard to find a religious wife – and even less difficult to find a good woman who would make a wonderful religious wife. Many women (like many men) are not necessarily that into religion, but if they meet the right person then that can change to a remarkable degree.

However, it helps one's search a lot if you have the following in place:

1. You need to have sorted out a lot of things internally, to the point where your external conduct is automatically morally excellent: basically, shed anything (habits, consumption patterns, relationship patterns) which you know, deep down, is getting in the way of your relationship with God – or at the very least, almost certainly not helping it. This sounds easy and it can actually be straightforward, but a lot of people take the circuitous route on this point.

2. It isn't necessary to be living a five-star lifestyle to attract extremely good women into your life – far from it, lots of money can even be a hindrance – but a financial position that is sustainable enough to at least travel to destinations with higher concentrations of superior women, whether these locations be domestic or international, can be enormously helpful, particularly if you are not blessed to be in a brilliant place to begin with.

3. Finally, regardless of where you are looking for a wife, it's essential to hone one's abilities to evaluate people objectively. In this context, pre-marital sex is the last thing you should be doing, along with more obvious perception-killers such as drugs and alcohol. Unnecessary pressure is also a terrible thing. Spending quality time with beautiful and virtuous women is one of the most sublime experiences a man can have – don't sabotage or forestall it with immoral conduct and stress.

 

[Kid Twist]

Good stuff, particularly #s 2 and 3.