First date in years next friday

[Hypno]

 

[karlvonhabsburg1917]

I am tempted to make a few crude jokes here but I fear I would get banned by Roosh!

Serious answer is that even devout Christian women like to be gamed. Make jokes at your expense and hers, don't show that you're impressed unless she says something obviously impressive, do stuff physically (eg touching her arm a bit) that you wouldn't do if you had coffee with a man. That kind of thing.

Cringe

 

[SlickyBoy]

Well it's not a normal secular dating website, it's a dating website for Christians and most of the girls I have messaged have their sex preference set to only after marriage. Who am I to judge them I've probably done way worse than they have. But if they are born again believers, the Spirit of God dwells within them, they have a new heart and new desires, so that's something to consider as well.

Who are you to judge? You are the captain of your own ship, that's who. You judge all you decide to let on board, or risk mutiny in divorce court. Dismiss this perspective at your own financial and personal peril - you will not get a do-over.

As for it not being a normal secular dating site, there is nothing normal about dating sites, whatever the marketing angle may be.

As Roosh correctly pointed out, dating itself does not work. Apps are an extension of the dating fools errand designed to get subscribers and make the developers rich. The founders are not rewarded for numbers of successful marriages nor is there any true way to measure the results. In fact, they'd rather things not work out and have you keep swiping this way and that, buying upgrades or whatever else keeps the machine moving.

Let me ask, what is the average age of the women you notice with the sex preference set to after marriage? Because if it is beyond college age, unless she's still living with her parents and never lived on her own, it's almost certainly one piece of a carefully cultivated lie.

The PUA community has their problems, but if the past ten years have taught them anything, it's that you must watch what a woman does, not what she says.

You don't have to be a fornicator to learn lessons that could keep you from walking right into a trap set for a plow horse. Judging from your automatic deference to someone based on nothing other than which web site they joined, that's a major red flag - on you.

 

[Papaya]

 

[GWYW2015]

I'd rather have an arranged marriage but since that's not possible I've decided to try out some dating. My friend suggested to me a Finnish Christian dating site. I signed up there and began sending some pretty basic openers "Hey how are you doing? How is your journey in the faith going?" to women.

I got a few replies. But one of them messaged me first and agreed to meet me offline. I suggested we go out photographing but she has plans on the weekend so we will probably just go out for a coffee or something on friday.

Any suggestions? I am not really a PUA and while I did read some PUA materials years ago I have forgotten it, so I don't really know what to do. Please help. Last date I was on was like yeeeaaars ago.

I would suggest not trying to try too hard to impress her. Schedule a relatively short date. That will help with nerves and not make either of you uncomfortable.

 

[Psalm27]

How'd it go, brother?

It wasn't an outright disaster but it didn't go too well. Also she did not look like her pictures. We had a lot of differing opinions and tastes, and decided to call it a day.

 

[third_eldest]

It wasn't an outright disaster but it didn't go too well. Also she did not look like her pictures. We had a lot of differing opinions and tastes, and decided to call it a day.

Too bad man. Yeah ugly women online is a very real thing and a reason to do it IRL, because frankly its a lot harder for people to lie about there appearance in person. Point is you put yourself out there and made progress. No sweat man.

 

[bucky]

Too bad man. Yeah ugly women online is a very real thing and a reason to do it IRL, because frankly its a lot harder for people to lie about there appearance in person. Point is you put yourself out there and made progress. No sweat man.

I used to call it the "10 year 20 pound rule." That is, IRL women will typically show up looking 10 years older and 20 pounds heavier than their online profile.

 

[tomzestatlu]

This is a trap, that a lot of inexperienced guys in online daring fall in. You must develop a sense to recognize what are you dealing with based on few photos. It sounds very shallow, but that´s the reality.

But this happens also to women. They are going to meet good looking fit guy and totally different person comes. Many girls in online dating experienced this.

Don´t get discouraged. Take it as opportunity to socialize during these difficult times. Don´t go there with dating mindset, go there with meet-new-people mindset and you can´t lose. Even though you are not interested in her as a women, she still can be interesting as a person. Maybe her work is somehow interesting, so you can get a lot of insider info about it. It´s not that difficult to find that little something interesting about anybody.

Maybe ask your friends for opinion on the photos of the girl you are eventually going to meet.

 

[joost]

Super easy. Just pretend that you care about her feelings and rumblings. When she stops, just pretend to be impressed.
- Oh, how interesting, please, tell me more!
- Never thought about it, how insightful!

 

[Vienna]

Look at every date - good or bad - as a whetstone, brother. Next one that comes up, those nerves won’t bother you as much. Good job.

 

[HenryKing14]

I'd rather have an arranged marriage but since that's not possible I've decided to try out some dating. My friend suggested to me a Finnish Christian dating site. I signed up there and began sending some pretty basic openers "Hey how are you doing? How is your journey in the faith going?" to women.

I got a few replies. But one of them messaged me first and agreed to meet me offline. I suggested we go out photographing but she has plans on the weekend so we will probably just go out for a coffee or something on friday.

Any suggestions? I am not really a PUA and while I did read some PUA materials years ago I have forgotten it, so I don't really know what to do. Please help. Last date I was on was like yeeeaaars ago.

Hey guys, I’m new here. I can’t figure out how to start my own thread. Little help? Sorry this isn’t related to the post I’m replying to.

edit: I hadn’t read the rules yet. I get it now

 

[Psalm27]

Next date lined up for friday. Let's see how it goes.

 

[third_eldest]

Next date lined up for friday. Let's see how it goes.

Same girl? Or someone else? Either way, Godspeed.

 

[Psalm27]

Same girl? Or someone else? Either way, Godspeed.

It's another girl. Thanks.

 

[007]

Dates are horrible. My advice... avoid.

Invite her on a non-date, i.e. anything fun that still involves the potential for drinks, but isn't a sit down 'romance interview' you pay for.

What do you consider a ''non-date'' date?