Friendships with women

Are platonic, cross-sex friendships good?


  • Total voters
    52

Zoso

Woodpecker
Good for using them for good purposes
Perhaps it's not friendship if only use is expected of them?
Friendship requires reciprocity/mutuality.
Well... In that case, it could be good being a friend with an older woman, with mutual respect.
And being a friend with a contemporary girl as well. However, I don't think this friendship could be to the same level as a friendship with a guy.

What do you mean with 'good purposes'? A possible partner/girlfriend?
 

Blade Runner

Kingfisher
It's the age old conundrum, you aren't actually friends - there is an ulterior motive (both sides). Since (normal) males obviously click with interests, topics of conversation, etc and sex isn't involved, they can be friends for friendship sake, and not with a plan/other motives. Even if sex is off the table for a guy (the girl he is not attracted to) that means almost by definition she is or will be.

You can have married people that are friends but nothing counts the way real friends count (same sex) - because they are never the same, or pure. Married people know each other and interact as such, getting along as "couples." Almost coincidental friends, if you will.
 

Geremia

Sparrow
Never happens.
Outside of marriage, maybe.
But it would seem to be an unequal friendship and a friendship of utility, where the male rules and the female obeys:
Of the Good of Marriage §1:
Poterat enim esse in utroque sexu etiam sine tali commixtione alterius regentis, alterius obsequentis amicalis quaedam et germana coniunctio.
For there could be in either sex—even without such a mingling (coitus)—some friendly, real union, of one ruling and the other obeying.
 
Op, you asked a “question”, but in reality, it was done in order to impose your opinion on us.

Would you happy if your wife or girl you’re courting had a close male friend? You know, strictly platonic and only for when she needs him. Surely you wouldn’t worry why she would go to another man instead of just going to you when she needs help, right?
 

Maecenas

Sparrow
Your intimacy in your marriage can be deep enough that even a friendship with a guy wouldn’t threaten your connection with your girl. Think of melania trump. Even if she befriended a guy and was pleasant with him and went to auctions or galas with him, her walls are high enough that everyone knows who she’s loyal to (Donald).

It’s fine to have friendships with girls. It’s just a lack of imagination if you can’t imagine one that would work or make sense. You could have a female business partner for example (lots of male CEOs have close, right-hand female COOs for example).

There’s more types of friendships than just the one where you hang out very casually and do casual activities together. And even then, there’s ways of doing casual things together in a less personal way

it’s just about the way your woman holds herself when alone with another guy. A proper wife/mother can be pleasant and enjoy the company of another guy while still being clear where she stands
 
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Maecenas

Sparrow
In fact, it can be a sign of alpha if you let your woman “dominate” other guys. That means you’re so dominate you don’t even need to dominate others yourself directly, and you trust your girl enough to do that and not get swept up by the guy
 

Maecenas

Sparrow
A third party usually has a different perspective on the first two parties than they do of themselves, so there are things a third party can help with that neither of the two other parties can do on their own.

agreed. I feel like what he’s implying is one guy can help his wife with absolutely any problems she’s having, as if he’s God or something

edit: which sounds Islamic to me. To come think of it, a lot of the strict Christianity faith out there, that’s popular on these forums too, is more Islamic than Christian. Christian is happy and loving and full of win-wins, and not power dynamics. There’s been quite a number of guys here on these forums who I actually think would be happier being Muslim
 
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