General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly

Donfitz007

Kingfisher
Hey I wanted to create a thread similar to the Newbie section. I feel like the forum has forgotten about the inexperienced guys, especially the ones genuinely looking for a relationship. I also made this for experienced guys who need help with their relationship.

I want to save on Forum space so I decided to make this thread.


So, guys to start this off, I need help. My Girlfriend is going off to Spain (a part of this foreign exchange program.) We are from Birmingham Alabama, and Im very afraid of the possibilities this might end us romantically. What can I do to help prevent this? She will be gone for 3 1/2 months.

As much of a cuck as I might sound, I pretty much expect her to "explore" while she's there, and to be completely honest I might "explore" as well. But I want her to come back and we pick up where we started or make this experience a cause for us to be stronger. I just need help with how to do so.
 

wwtl

 
Banned
Donfitz007 said:
So, guys to start this off, I need help. My Girlfriend is going off to Spain (a part of this foreign exchange program.) We are from Birmingham Alabama, and Im very afraid of the possibilities this might end us romantically. What can I do to help prevent this? She will be gone for 3 1/2 months.

The one way to prevent it is to end it and not waste any more of precious lifetime on casual dating. You're not married to her and she leaves you quite literally, so your "romance" is over and you should move on. You see this fornication endeavor as an investment but it is essentially just wasting your youth and it is not making you stronger.

You see sending girls away alone for "exploration" is part of the Western problem. They will come back "broken" as happy carousel riders. That's why you never see a Muslim father ever allowing for that.

You should find a girl, who is into you (your girlfriend clearly isn't), sticks to you voluntarily, follows your lead and then lock her down within 3 years without any "foreign country exchange", "college" or any other crap in between.
 

Roosh

Cardinal
Orthodox
But I want her to come back and we pick up where we started or make this experience a cause for us to be stronger. I just need help with how to do so.

That's like sending your girlfriend off to a candy factory for three months and hoping she comes back thinner or healthier. You posted this thread because you are concerned about the trip, and rightfully so. Not much good can come out of a situation like this.
 

loremipsum

Kingfisher
But I want her to come back and we pick up where we started or make this experience a cause for us to be stronger. I just need help with how to do so.

Letting her ride the carousel and expecting it to make the relationship stronger...
What is the reason you would still want her back knowing she has been passed around in Spain?
 

Aizen

Kingfisher
Orthodox
As a general rule of thumb, when a girl goes abroad, it's over. I suggest you come to terms with this, and begin looking for a new LTR. You're not married to her, so your only downside is the loss on emotional investment. Combat this with a brief period of monk mode and come out the other side with an even better woman. Any girl that travels abroad alone is not worth your time - adventure can only be handled properly by men. Most women come back worse than when they left.
 

Dkby

Sparrow
If she decided to go on an exchange while in relationship, then the relationship doesn't mean that much to her anyway. Many things will happen there (not necessarily intimate) and if she has never lived abroad for extended period of time before, she will come back as a different person, which you might not even like anymore.

If you are smart, break up with her before she leaves. You at least have a chance to do it properly in person.
 

wwtl

 
Banned
JiggyLordJr said:
As a general rule of thumb, when a girl goes abroad, it's over. I suggest you come to terms with this, and begin looking for a new LTR. You're not married to her, so your only downside is the loss on emotional investment. Combat this with a brief period of monk mode and come out the other side with an even better woman. Any girl that travels abroad alone is not worth your time - adventure can only be handled properly by men. Most women come back worse than when they left.

There is a quick way to test the state of the relationshit:

She: "I'm going to Spain alone for x months."
He: "No."

Now there are essentially two ways for her to react, dependent on her commitment:

1. She: "You are right, I cancel it." - You still have an LTR.
2. She: "What does this mean: 'No'?" - You never had an LTR. It's breakup time.

The common mistake is that girls believe that they can have it all: A "boyfriend", adventuring alone abroad and the occasional fling on the side.
 

The_Observer

Pigeon
Buddhist / Eastern
Donfitz007 said:
Hey I wanted to create a thread similar to the Newbie section. I feel like the forum has forgotten about the inexperienced guys, especially the ones genuinely looking for a relationship. I also made this for experienced guys who need help with their relationship.

I want to save on Forum space so I decided to make this thread.


So, guys to start this off, I need help. My Girlfriend is going off to Spain (a part of this foreign exchange program.) We are from Birmingham Alabama, and Im very afraid of the possibilities this might end us romantically. What can I do to help prevent this? She will be gone for 3 1/2 months.

As much of a cuck as I might sound, I pretty much expect her to "explore" while she's there, and to be completely honest I might "explore" as well. But I want her to come back and we pick up where we started or make this experience a cause for us to be stronger. I just need help with how to do so.
I don't think this is going to be very fruitful for the relationship.

Assuming that she still remains in touch with you after she comes back from Spain (highly unlikely), don't you think that there's more than a good chance that she might end up meeting someone there ?
 

wwtl

 
Banned
wwtl said:
The common mistake is that girls believe that they can have it all: A "boyfriend", adventuring alone abroad and the occasional fling on the side.

And before someone says the traditional Christian convert is talking out of his ass. I experienced it all first hand in my past: The adventuring girl having a [email protected] and me being the mystical foreign guy abroad. You can guess how chaste those meets (or should I say "dates") of 20somethings were going down. :wink:

It's so normal and usual, that it's nuts to believe in any other outcome.
 

loremipsum

Kingfisher
When I was "beta" I never fornicated with girls I knew who had boyfriends and tried to get me in bed. Has happened three times, and every time I immediately lost all my respect for the girl and got even more blackpilled on women.
After getting into a notch counting stage I regretted those chances and thought to myself
"dude why the fuck weren't you banging these worthless hoes and then ghosting them".

Looking back I'm glad I did not reap anything I would have later sowed.
 

wwtl

 
Banned
loremipsum said:
When I was "beta" I never fornicated with girls I knew who had boyfriends and tried to get me in bed. Has happened three times, and every time I immediately lost all my respect for the girl and got even more blackpilled on women.
After getting into a notch counting stage I regretted those chances and thought to myself
"dude why the fuck weren't you banging these worthless hoes and then ghosting them".

Looking back I'm glad I did not reap anything I would have later sowed.

In regards to adultery I slipped only once. As I was primarily focused on dating "relationships" back then and never entered the notch counting stage I quickly figured out that those options don't go anywhere.
 

ThriceLazarus

 
Banned
Chances are she’s just not that into you. This is normal, most boyfriends are just accessories to the modern liberated independent woman. You can never forget that she don’t need no man. If she were, the thought to go abroad would never even cross her mind.

That said, and said and said again, the devil is in the details. So to play devils advocate: How long have you two been dating? Was this quarter abroad planned before you two met or became a thing? Is it actually necessary for her schooling? Has she even hinted at you visiting while she’s gone? All of these subtle nuances will clarify just how strong your bond is. Any tenuous answers imply that it wasn’t meant to be.
 

_Samo_

Woodpecker
This brings back some memories. I was in a similar situation a few years ago, although the relationship was fairly new. She was planning to go on a student exchange to Spain for a few months in the next year. I told her if she does that then we are done, simply. She was a little surprised at first but cancelled it after no real debate, said she understands and that the relationship is more important to her. It ended a few months later anyway, no idea if she ended up going or not.

I would give her this same choice If I were you, your relationship or this trip. Realistically you cant have both and if she goes it would probably be in your best interests to move on and find a girl who actually cares about your relationship.
 

355

Pigeon
the real question here is not if she goes or not, and what you tell her or don't tell her. The real question is how do you feel about the situation and the different options, this might give you a clue where you currently stand as a man and how you need to develop.
 

Donfitz007

Kingfisher
Thanks Guy for the advice, however I feel I may have misled you. This girl isn’t necessarily my girlfriend (as I’m sorta anti relationships) but instead a girl who I like a lot and don’t want to lose on this Trip. We have no commitment to each other but I felt I would get banned and this thread closed if I told the truth and I need the advice.

But I guess I should still end things regardless. Sorry for lying, just don’t know where to turn for this advice as my friends are horrible with women.
 

BBinger

Kingfisher
Donfitz007 said:
Thanks Guy for the advice, however I feel I may have misled you. This girl isn’t necessarily my girlfriend (as I’m sorta anti relationships) but instead a girl who I like a lot and don’t want to lose on this Trip. We have no commitment to each other but I felt I would get banned and this thread closed if I told the truth and I need the advice.

But I guess I should still end things regardless. Sorry for lying, just don’t know where to turn for this advice as my friends are horrible with women.

In this case she isn't even really yours to lose.
 

Mage

 
Banned
Foreign exchange programs exist specifically to make girls used to strange dick. The educational benefit is marginal.

I have been on such a programs and have seen girls behaving on such programs and I have observed extreme sluttery.
 

Roosh

Cardinal
Orthodox
Donfitz007 said:
Thanks Guy for the advice, however I feel I may have misled you. This girl isn’t necessarily my girlfriend (as I’m sorta anti relationships) but instead a girl who I like a lot and don’t want to lose on this Trip. We have no commitment to each other but I felt I would get banned and this thread closed if I told the truth and I need the advice.

But I guess I should still end things regardless. Sorry for lying, just don’t know where to turn for this advice as my friends are horrible with women.

So you're not in a relationship. She's the favorite girl you're banging and she's already banging other guys. You're sharing her currently with other men. And she will bang other guys while in Spain. So nothing will change from her trip except you will miss her for 3 months and hope she continues to bang you when she comes back. So you're scared of losing the sex and that's all?
 
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