General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly

Donfitz007

Kingfisher
Well as of now she’s not doing anything with anybody else, but it is foolish for us to start a relationship if she’s moving to Spain for 4 months. We have no commitment but we pretty much only see each other.
 

Roosh

Cardinal
Orthodox
"We have no commitment to each other"

"Well as of now she’s not doing anything with anybody else"

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She's going to Spain to learn how to be a good girlfriend/wife to you. She will come back with modest clothes and knitting skills.

Unfortunately you're in a state of delusion. You will have to learn the hard way with this girl.
 

Donfitz007

Kingfisher
Ok I’m confused? How am I delusional? We have no commitment to each other, I guess I should say we haven’t verbalized a commitment, And we see each other every day. I’m not hoping not wishing for a relationship when she gets back but I don’t want to feel that coldness neither. She’s a valuable friend.

All I’m asking is how to keep that friendship alive to where we could possibly make it more.

But The advice here is understandable, I should just give it up. I know female nature better than most, but I’m by no means a pro. That is why I asked the people of this forum.
 

wwtl

 
Banned
Donfitz007 said:
Thanks Guy for the advice, however I feel I may have misled you. This girl isn’t necessarily my girlfriend (as I’m sorta anti relationships) but instead a girl who I like a lot and don’t want to lose on this Trip. We have no commitment to each other but I felt I would get banned and this thread closed if I told the truth and I need the advice.

So you had the chance to lock her down and you didn't. Now you pay the price.

Men are often viewed as anti-commitment for a reason and you thought of this as a good idea. But as you now notice it comes with disadvantages.
 

Donfitz007

Kingfisher
Why would I commit to a girl before she goes off the Spain, this was planned with her school 2 years in advanced. She’s been the ideal women (based on this forum’s taste) so I kept her around but judging from the answers even the best women will hoe out overseas. That is why I asked for more experienced advice and I’m glad for the answers I received
 

Papaya

Peacock
Gold Member
Donfitz007 said:
And we see each other every day. I’m not hoping not wishing for a relationship when she gets back but I don’t want to feel that coldness neither. She’s a valuable friend.
All I’m asking is how to keep that friendship alive to where we could possibly make it more.

If you want "more" but she's not attracted to you (as in wanting more... right now) then youre not her friend...youre just another choade in her inventory of orbiters. This is game 101





Donfitz007 said:
I know female nature better than most, but I’m by no means a pro. That is why I asked the people of this forum.

^Delusional.... You obviously know less than you think

Edit: Im not trying to be overly harsh but you need a slap in the face else youre going to get kicked in the ball sack...metaphorically
 

Donfitz007

Kingfisher
Who said she didn’t want more? I said it’s stupid to commit if she’s going to Spain. I don’t see how this makes me delusional(but I bet that fits the definition) Ofcourse she wanted a relationship but I told her it’s dumb to do that now, that it wasn’t the best time to focus on that.
 

Papaya

Peacock
Gold Member
Donfitz007 said:
Who said she didn’t want more? I said it’s stupid to commit if she’s going to Spain. I don’t see how this makes me delusional(but I bet that fits the definition) Ofcourse she wanted a relationship but I told her it’s dumb to do that now, that it wasn’t the best time to focus on that.

Stupid for you to commit

Stupid for you to let her not commit

Love and War
 

Donfitz007

Kingfisher
Thanks for the advice. You weren’t overly harsh, I’ve seen way worse on this forum even from you. I’ll admit I’m not as good with women as I hoped that’s why I kinda fought for the game section to stay alive.
 

Leonard D Neubache

Owl
Gold Member
For the li'l players into the future, you cannot escalate a relationship from "fuckbuddies" to "committed" unless she's utterly retarded for you, seeing nobody else and hanging on the hope you decide to choose her over male hypergamy.

Imagine it from the girl's perspective. You fuckbuddy tells you he wants to "get serious" or whatever euphemism he chooses to use.

This is like taking your frame and tossing it into the center of the sun.

If she were gagagoogoo for you then all you would have to do is snap your fingers and say "forget Spain, stick around, dollface" and she'd drop her plans like a hot rock. I dare not ask what the realities of this relationship dynamic are. I very much doubt it's a simple sex for sex trade because such arrangements are unicorn-level rare.
 
These guys are just tellin' it like it is, Don.

Whats your plan while she is gone? Will you date and fuck other girls? Go do some travel of your own?

Don't take this the wrong way but girls aren't attracted to guys can't take control of the situation. They want to follow your lead. If Spain is her dream vacation, you could just wait until you have the time and take her there. Instead she gets to go party, have fun, and fuck guys in a foreign country where no one knows her.

Unless you plan on marrying her when she comes back, move one and find a girl who actually wants to be with you.
 

Donfitz007

Kingfisher
It's a foreign exchange program and an internship not a vacation. I appreciate the help and I understand, but this is me taking control. I told her to go to Spain because this opportunity is so great.

Im not asking her to stay, I just want our friendship to be there when she gets back.
 

Dkby

Sparrow
Donfitz007 said:
It's a foreign exchange program and an internship not a vacation. I appreciate the help and I understand, but this is me taking control. I told her to go to Spain because this opportunity is so great.

Im not asking her to stay, I just want our friendship to be there when she gets back.
You have been already told numerous times by practically every single poster in this thread that you can have both of those things. You are trying to convince us that we are all wrong. Well, if that is the case, the only solution is to follow whatever plan you have and then report back in 4 months with your results.
 

Leonard D Neubache

Owl
Gold Member
Donfitz007 said:
It's a foreign exchange program and an internship not a vacation. I appreciate the help and I understand, but this is me taking control. I told her to go to Spain because this opportunity is so great.

Im not asking her to stay, I just want our friendship to be there when she gets back.

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There is no such thing as stagnant female friendship being a precursor to a worthwhile relationship.

There is no such thing as stagnant female friendship being a precursor to a worthwhile relationship.

There is no such thing as stagnant female friendship being a precursor to a worthwhile relationship.

You are either in a state of constant escalation until you're married with kids or it's dead.

You are either in a state of constant escalation until you're married with kids or it's dead.

You are either in a state of constant escalation until you're married with kids or it's dead.


High level players, check me on this, please. Am I too old and jaded or are these universal truths baked into the cosmos itself?!

Meanwhile, OP. Give us an example of a situation where a man's affections being "put on hold" were a precursor to a mutually beneficial relationship. I'm chasing down 40 and I can't think of a single one.

Not. One.
 

loremipsum

Kingfisher
If there is a nuclear redflag that a good hearted man could miss it's solo travel/exchange years.

Even if it's not a vacation but studying abroad, please.
She's gonna get passed around like you wouldn't believe.
I'm so jaded that if a girl says she likes travelling alone or has been in an exchange year it's an instant disqualifation as a wife material.
 

Jimmy Wonka

Chicken
In my opinion the healthiest way to have a relationship is giving always the impression that you can get a better girl than her.

So, if she is telling you that she is going to Spain, your attitude would be: "Ok fine, go, and we will see when you come back (because while you are there I will have the opportunity to bang other girls with more freedom)". And she is going to sense this, therefore is going to worry about your loss, with her focuses on you. And if she doesn´t worry who cares, because you are not looking for her worry, but looking for better prospects.
 

Leonard D Neubache

Owl
Gold Member
This is pretty much the dictionary definition of "plenty of fish in the sea".
If you reached for an encyclopedia you'd find a picture of her waving to you as she boards the plane.

Are you willing to be completely honest with us and break down your day-to-day routine with this "friend" on a purely transactional basis? I know forum rules are different now so we can use the euphemism "held hands".

How many times have you held hands vs how many times have you acted-as-a-free-taxi/bought-her-food/listened-to-her-emotional-BS/gone-shopping-with-her/etc?

I'm getting serious doormat vibes here, like you've "invested" in her and now you're feeling like she's about to default on the social debt you perceive she owes you.
 
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