General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
- Thread starter Donfitz007
- Start date
Not meaning any offence, but your question reads clumsily. Perhaps you could rephrase it or elaborate.
To Mr Murray,
Thank you,
God bless.
Pardon my immaturity, I will try to elaborate.
I am sure I connected this incident to my teenage years when I, myself used to try and draw the face of a selected girl in my respected class (there were more incidents like this). If she got to see the picture I drew, it made her happy. But I was so absent minded, I did not know how to react to their happiness. Now I know that they were flattered, but I still do not know how I can use that happiness to build on our relationship and build a rapport without waiting for something to happen. I want to add something more to Gratitude, I want to add more arrows in my 'love' Quiver. More sweet nothings to part ways with my bitterness.
Not that I will/am still drawing clumsy cartoons even now but I might come up with a nice compliment for a girl I like. Recently, I just used it to say whatever I wanted to say and the conversation would just reach a cliff, with her bearing responsibility to come up with something or I lose interest thinking they're not interested either. Sad ending.
I'm sorry, I couldn't help my clumsiness.
I will try to practice more patience, next time.
(Reached the limit of my amateur editing skills.)
Indebted.
Thank you,
God bless.
Pardon my immaturity, I will try to elaborate.
I am sure I connected this incident to my teenage years when I, myself used to try and draw the face of a selected girl in my respected class (there were more incidents like this). If she got to see the picture I drew, it made her happy. But I was so absent minded, I did not know how to react to their happiness. Now I know that they were flattered, but I still do not know how I can use that happiness to build on our relationship and build a rapport without waiting for something to happen. I want to add something more to Gratitude, I want to add more arrows in my 'love' Quiver. More sweet nothings to part ways with my bitterness.
Not that I will/am still drawing clumsy cartoons even now but I might come up with a nice compliment for a girl I like. Recently, I just used it to say whatever I wanted to say and the conversation would just reach a cliff, with her bearing responsibility to come up with something or I lose interest thinking they're not interested either. Sad ending.
I'm sorry, I couldn't help my clumsiness.
I will try to practice more patience, next time.
(Reached the limit of my amateur editing skills.)
Indebted.
You will feel better if you don't culture a sense of obligation and counter-obligation. Women for all their supposed social graces cannot carry 50% of the intergender social load. Your obligation as a man is to lead from start to finish and any ability the woman has to carry part of that social burden is merely a bonus (or a qualifier if you're screening for those qualities).
It sounds like you believe you have the obligation to start the match. "Serve the tennis ball" as it were, and then it goes back and forth with equal effort from both sides. That's not the case.
You: Compliment.
Her: Received well.
You: Segue.
Her: Flags interest in segue/lack of defensiveness.
You: Escalate depending on circumstance and intentions.
You lead. From start to finish.
Her not shutting you down IS her showing interest. Sometimes it's just her being nice and she'll entertain the compliment but shut you down after the segue or the escalation. No big deal. You're not her type. She already has a boyfriend/fiancee/husband. Smile and go about the rest of your day.
It sounds like you believe you have the obligation to start the match. "Serve the tennis ball" as it were, and then it goes back and forth with equal effort from both sides. That's not the case.
You: Compliment.
Her: Received well.
You: Segue.
Her: Flags interest in segue/lack of defensiveness.
You: Escalate depending on circumstance and intentions.
You lead. From start to finish.
Her not shutting you down IS her showing interest. Sometimes it's just her being nice and she'll entertain the compliment but shut you down after the segue or the escalation. No big deal. You're not her type. She already has a boyfriend/fiancee/husband. Smile and go about the rest of your day.
I lost my Bible and let it slide, unfortunately. I'd be open to restarting but someone with more time and organizational skills should probably "run" it and I'll just join. This is the original thread with what I think is a reasonable schedule.
I hope I'm not ruining the thread; but I seriously would welcome insights from mature men. A friend of mine is 43 and his gf is 23. Her only goal in life is family and children. I know it sounds ridiculous, a man his age should not have a girlfriend, it is absurd. But let me be clear: his goal is not to keep her as a girlfriend obviously. The man is totally aware of all the decadent problems of our age, he is as we say "red pilled", and she follows him as all women should. She was a virgin so the man is her only "experience".
Here is the problem, and I know it sounds retarded, but here it is : He is physically not at all attracted to her. Can it work out ? Can a man do it ? Can we look passed that ?
PS: Yes he can perform the reproductive act without a problem.
Here is the problem, and I know it sounds retarded, but here it is : He is physically not at all attracted to her. Can it work out ? Can a man do it ? Can we look passed that ?
PS: Yes he can perform the reproductive act without a problem.
Is she fat?
90% of chicks will be acceptable wives if they lose weight and get down to an ideal body weight.
There's a small number of chicks who are ugly no matter what. If she just needs to lose weight, I think that can be influenced by the man.
If she's in that small number of ugly chicks, there's probably not much hope.
In Texas, it's pretty common for chicks to get plastic surgery.
My ex girlfriend had fake tits, maybe that would sweeten the deal?
In all honestly, she'd have to bee pretty ugly for him to be in a relationship with her at 23yo and not want to marry her at 43.
Some girls do become more attractive as they get older... like thinner, and better dressed. But she needs to cultivate those habits.
I'd say attraction is always important as a guy whose been married before...
Especially before marriage.
MovingForward2050
Pelican
In all honestly, she'd have to bee pretty ugly for him to be in a relationship with her at 23yo and not want to marry her at 43.
Some girls do become more attractive as they get older... like thinner, and better dressed. But she needs to cultivate those habits.
I'd say attraction is always important as a guy whose been married before...
Especially before marriage.
[/QUOTE]
While I realize that there are mature young women in their early twenties, many are not... I would say that generally, a man in his forties would be driven crazy by a typical Western girl in her early twenties! I used to live near ASU and while riding on the light rail, would be surrounded by them. This would allow me to eavesdrop...
Some girls do become more attractive as they get older... like thinner, and better dressed. But she needs to cultivate those habits.
I'd say attraction is always important as a guy whose been married before...
Especially before marriage.
[/QUOTE]
While I realize that there are mature young women in their early twenties, many are not... I would say that generally, a man in his forties would be driven crazy by a typical Western girl in her early twenties! I used to live near ASU and while riding on the light rail, would be surrounded by them. This would allow me to eavesdrop...
Very appreciated ! Poeple would not look at her and think "ugly" at all. I know some of her friends were beta orbiters with some hopes, and tried moves on her. She's not fat neither. I think the skin texture is not the most feminine and teeth aren't great neither. Look I'll be honest the guy we're talking about is me. My path is more or less the same as Roosh (the path not the numbers !), and although I know the right thing to do is to start a family, there's always something holding me back, and this time it's attraction.
While I realize that there are mature young women in their early twenties, many are not... I would say that generally, a man in his forties would be driven crazy by a typical Western girl in her early twenties! I used to live near ASU and while riding on the light rail, would be surrounded by them. This would allow me to eavesdrop...
[/QUOTE]
Again very good point. She used to drive me somewhat crazy in the beginning, but she has been basically educated by me since she was 18. Was a virgin and she understands the importance of the natural order. From a maturity point of view, her problem are mostly hormonal from what I can see. I know it's now or never for me and the crumbling of civilisation doesn't help.
MovingForward2050
Pelican
This made me think of early stage game...
I have a general question about the red pill and Orthodoxy. In the red pill there is discussion of Genuine Desire and that if a woman is not trying to copulate with you then she doesn’t desire you. What are other ways of testing Genuine Desire in an Orthodox context because fornicating is just not an option?
Hi, I need some help. I'm turning 24, I asked out a girl at church who I thought was in her mid 20s, but then she added me on FB and she actually will be turning 32 soon. I feel really stupid now, with an age gap like that I don't think it would work, I don't know what to do, just call off the date right now?
Yes my brother. If you're not going to date her seriously, it's best to call it off.
Personally, I would go through with it. Unless you had other plans in mind, you might simply enjoy her company and conversation for an evening. There is no obligation beyond that. However to cancel an engagement you made with anyone is generally kind of rude, regardless of the reason.
Again very good point. She used to drive me somewhat crazy in the beginning, but she has been basically educated by me since she was 18. Was a virgin and she understands the importance of the natural order. From a maturity point of view, her problem are mostly hormonal from what I can see. I know it's now or never for me and the crumbling of civilisation doesn't help.
[/QUOTE]
@Bernamej
I see you have been active recently.
We need an update bro!