Getting married young?

$h0tt

Chicken
Non-Christian
I'm just gonna get to the point; I'm 17 and want to get married.

We've been dating for a 3 months but have known each other for 9. By the time the marriage actually happens, we will have known each other for 1.5 years. She knows my intentions and even knows roughly when I'm planning to propose.
This is a good woman and I know we can make the marriage work. I don't think either of us are crazy in love or anything, but I don't want to waste time dating around with other women until I find the "perfect" girl. The way I see it, you pick a girl and love her.
Is this a bad idea? I have been getting mixed responses from everyone. Some people say it is traditional to get married young, and we don't need to know each other for years and years as long as we know each other well enough to make this type of commitment. Some people are telling me there's something wrong with me for even considering it. I wanted to ask... what do you guys think?
Keep in mind that due to Christ's teachings on the matter, divorce is absolutely out of the question for me under any circumstance.
Come clean friend... Is it sex that you're after? What is your experience of sex? Will you be able to satisfy that young woman? Who proposed to who? Plainly, sex in marriage is for people who cannot control themselves. What, were you not able to control your edges and decided to tie the knot?


How is your faith?
Faith, as it were justifies marriage as we know it. The perfect partner would follow this pattern. Again, HOW IS YOUR FAITH?



Nothing is so powerful in drawing the spirit of man downwards as the caress of a woman.

&

People who have spend time on themselves spiritually, contract true marriage, and because, a man in his wife's arms does one of these two things; either he concentrate icily on her and forget the rest or look forward to heaven when he embrace her like a statue.

... this is somehow tactless of you at this age, young, hot blooded and no history.


God has made us for Himself and our hearts are restless until they rest in HIM and HIM alone.


I haven't understood you the least in your post. You say 1.5. We don't count the number of smiles in knowing a person, but rather fights. How can you say you know her when you haven't even stayed a cause? Have you ever seen her tears? When do they come out?


The holy fountain of life is dirtied by lust, even in the tidy garden of marriage.


How are you going to feed her? Don't you know that this is a man's venerable point? If you should fall short of her desires, are you going to stand the inescapable penalty of that?


Lust can only be justified by a desire to procreate. Are you ready to head a family, screaming toddlers, bills, child birth scars? Will you love her chastely, or you're going to see another one more prettier?


Young man, what is the purpose of your marriage?

Is it offspring? Is it indissolubility? Is it fidelity?

Suppose the wife cannot conceive? What are you going to do?



I have written a post yesterday in the language of moral theology, perhaps you may take a leaf there.


¶¶ How Do You Know That You Have Found The One/ Qualities of a Keeper ¶¶
 

echunter2016

Chicken
Agnostic
Married male graduate students do better than male bachelor grad students. Married men earn more than bachelors.
As to the first, that has not been my observation for the majority of them while I was at university. As to the second, that's a more complicated issue, but my own experience of observations through life has been 50/50 on "success" of bachelors vs married men , but I have also noticed that the guy who develops himself and his goals while marrying later (30+ years of age) acomplishes more, tends to have more satisfaction with himself... even happiness and is well ahead of the pac so-to-speak, earning more and with more resources, and on a continuing upward trajectory, if he so chooses, when he ties the knot.
 

Jive Turkey

Woodpecker
Orthodox Catechumen
As to the first, that has not been my observation for the majority of them while I was at university.
According to statistics I saw at a talk at BYU this was the case. I may be wrong, and for sure there are outliers.

As to the second, that's a more complicated issue, but my own experience of observations through life has been 50/50 on "success" of bachelors vs married men ,
Probably depends on your industry. If you are something white collar there is a cultural bias where everyone is financially well off anyway, and it is normative to marry after 30. In the middle and working class married men are typically more likely to show up on time, stay late, get promoted etc

but I have also noticed that the guy who develops himself and his goals while marrying later (30+ years of age) acomplishes more, tends to have more satisfaction with himself... even happiness and is well ahead of the pac so-to-speak, earning more and with more resources, and on a continuing upward trajectory, if he so chooses, when he ties the knot.
This is again somewhat of a selection bias. You are probably right that a man who is laser focused on his career is *less likely* to marry until later. The point I meant to make is that for average men, marriage and children provides a boost in motivation to attain more success. IE a schlub won't become a neurosurgeon after marriage, but maybe a mechanic will work his way up to shop foreman.
 

get2choppaaa

Hummingbird
Orthodox
As to the first, that has not been my observation for the majority of them while I was at university. As to the second, that's a more complicated issue, but my own experience of observations through life has been 50/50 on "success" of bachelors vs married men , but I have also noticed that the guy who develops himself and his goals while marrying later (30+ years of age) acomplishes more, tends to have more satisfaction with himself... even happiness and is well ahead of the pac so-to-speak, earning more and with more resources, and on a continuing upward trajectory, if he so chooses, when he ties the knot.
Are you speaking from experience or anecdote of others?

Are you married and do you have kids? Are you successful? What sort of credibility do you have on the matter.

These things matte when you start giving out advice on the internet about marriage.

Anyone whose not been married but rather pontificating about what a marriage should be/look like, yet hasn't experienced it is not someone I would personally listen to. Rather I would only listen to people who have lived the life or have the relationship that I want to emulate.

Again the The OP has a lot to figure out and I cant recommend marriage to him. But I strongly disagree with your assertions in your post about success.

I'm doing better than literally all of my peers from school. Many of whom were given better opportunities, less baggage, and no drama.

Success is something that people choose to inculcate in their psyche or not. Marrying young isn't a factor if you chose right. Nor is marrying at 32 more likely. You've wasted your early fatherhood years.

And if you want 5 kids or more...when do you start that? I'd much rather get that done by the time Im 40 than by 45/50.
 

Max Roscoe

Ostrich
Orthodox Inquirer
As to the second, that's a more complicated issue, but my own experience of observations through life has been 50/50 on "success" of bachelors vs married men ,
What is more important in life?
To earn a lot of money?
Or to have a loving and devoted wife joined in Holy Matrimony?

An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.

We can debate which path is likely to gain more shekels (I agree with you it is probably the single life), but this is the wrong question to be asking.
 

Cynllo

Kingfisher
Other Christian
O.P. you are only 17. How do you plan on providing financially for a wife and kids?

I'd chip in if the parents can't get them started.

CL, I have been watching you closely, young man.

It is time.

Make it happen.

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Parmesan

Kingfisher
Other Christian
I think young marriage should be the norm. Unless you are a sociopathic Chad, your rejections and negative experiences with women will wear on you as you age, and deplete your ability for youthful puppy love. Getting married young allows you to preserve your idealism, and feel excited about being romantic and pursuing the traditional mores of courtship (which young, well raised women love and appreciate). Of course, the biggest benefit is dealing with a potential wife who hasn't been ruined yet by bad boys, university life, and the lure of thottery.

I made far too many blue pilled, feminist mistakes with women in my past, and I am now too jaded and broken to give a good Christian girl the love she deserves. Don't waste time.
 
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