WestCoast said:Yep you nailed it. A motto for the newbies on this forum.SonicOne said:WestCoast said:So i guess by "game" what i really mean is social construct understanding.
So yes you've got the essence of my post except for the "cheated on her" basically i realized this girl only had 4 sexual partners in her life. (of course it is always a guess but the fact that her body language got EXREMELY negative when she met my friend who i told her was a hardcore player, and he is). Basically I helped her get over "oneitis" the girl version of it without ruining her life and still getting a bang.
I posted this on the newbie forum because basically i used game to not only have sex, end goal for me, but help her go find a new man because she was clearly looking for husband material and a dude who cheats constantly is not husband material (that part is obviously debatable) but the point is for your average beta who "hates" game, well i just made her life 40x better.
She doesn't talk to the ex anymore, and she's emotionally stable again and her "heart is now open" so to speak for a new suitor. I only really gave her the ego back because she would be stuck getting fucked over again and again by the same dude. Call this story "white knighting" but honestly i don't feel bad for giving power back to a girl whose actually probably the last decent american woman left (sub 5 sexual partners at 25, cooks and cleans). So I basically helped train her into liking more beta qualities since she wants a husband in the long run.
See that's what I figured you meant, thank you for clarifying. I wonder if that's why so many chicks who want husband material end up going on a brief fuck frenzy after they get dumped or cheated on...even if it's not "revenge" as the guy probably didn't care in the first place, it's def an ego boost no matter who you are to know you can still are fuckable!
As for the last decent american woman left, I don't know. I know multiple women who fit those same stats (including my LTR) except have only had 1 sexual partner and would probably be dream girls for what you call betas.
It's good you were able to break her habit of going back to the same guy who obviously didn't want to be a beta. I don't think that's white knighting at all,, you got the notch, gave the girl a nice ego boost, and gave you both a good time..As I understand a white knight would probably just try to talk to her to get away from the ex...you struck out at a vulnerable chick, got the bang, and helped her out. White knight by accident!
Have a good night everyone.
[*]THEN chase girls that are sexier
_______________________________________________WestIndianArchie said:1. Why Night Game?
Even though Night game is a shadow of what it once was, partially because of the internet and because of Clubs that are moving to Tables for Whales, Night Game is where I think everyone should learn game.
Night game offers a concentration of impulsive lizards waiting and wanting a bit of dick in their lives. Make no mistake, that's why they're there. Every last one of em can buy some 2 Buck Chuck and drink on the solo. They go for the liquor, music, lights, excitement, and TO BE HIT ON BY GUYS. The warpaint is on, the heels shod, and the bitch shields up.
- hot chicks
- impulsive chicks
- chicks who are happy because of the music and vibe
- drunk/high chicks
- lots of chicks, all dressed to be sexy
- They're going to be in bed with or without you in 3-4 hours
Ideal night game situations allow you to get in a lot of approaches, build up your tolerance, destroy your approach anxiety, and have a reasonable chance of having sex within 3-5 hours.
2. Night Game vs Day Game
In defense of day game
- chicks aren't *as* made up
- the bitch shields *can* be lower. (but lizards get approached and catcalled all day if they're attractive)
- it's low investment
That being said, Day Game doesn't typically give you that night game ease, unless it's particular environments.
3) The Day Game Density Exceptions
"Big City Square" - in NYC it's Union Square, elsewhere in the Americas you have to find yourself close to a college campus. Very few places have that day time density comparable to a decent night club. This usually lacks a key ingredient for inhibition unleashment...alcohol
"The Beach" - the boardwalk can be a good look
"The day time concert/festival with lots of drinking"
"A good higher end shopping mall on the weekend"
There are other examples, but usually you don't get night time opportunities during the day.
4) Night Game - Bars v. Clubs
Clubs serve alcohol. Bars often have DJ's.
What really separates a Bar from a Club is whether or not people are dancing.
The major advantage to going to a Dance club over a bar is that
1) girls feel sexual when they dance (dancing is all about showing fertility)
2) if you can dance, you can -
a) put your hands on her,
b) lead her around,
c) get social proof
d) they pass out Ferraris for the best guy on the dance floor*
5) Types of bars and clubs
- Dives and Neighborhood joints - sometimes on the corner, sometimes in a strip mall - this is where you go for local tang and cougars.
- Hotel Bars - speaking of cougars, keep an eye out for the conventions coming to town. You'll always find some randy bitches @ the Hampton Inn. A chick sitting alone at a hotel bar is looking for sex. (but she may also be a pro(stitute) so keep that in mind as well.
- Sports Bars - this is where you go to watch sports. I've seen guys run here, but in general a sports bar is a sausage fest.
- the Bar with a dance floor and DJ - This is ideal in my opinion, because essentially you have a small make shift club. Easy to see everyone, easy to get to and from the bar, probably has a smoking area. And in general, people dress down a little. You won't get the hottest of the hotties, but more than enough cuties and chicks with good bodies go to these places
- Hip Bars/Hipster Bars - Usually packed. This is where you're going to cut your teeth in terms of game if you can't dance.
- High End Bars/Mixology/Bar @ a Hip Restaurant - This is where you go custom suited down. Chances are you can't be Team No Appetizer here either. Less dense, and the chicks split between gold diggers, hotties, scenesters and foodies.
- Small Local clubs - have small time usually not as hot chicks. But trawl these when you're coming up
- The Typical club - less than 500 people, 1 dj, possibly a VIP area
- The Mega Club - multiple levels, dress code, cover charge, expensive drinks
- Vegas - I don't need to say more.
With that in mind, I'd say beginners should focus on
- smaller bars
- smaller clubs
6. How you should learn night game
a) Go out multiple times a week.
- helps you get used to it
- see who goes out every night
- find all the good venues and great dj's
b) Focus your energy between Sunday and Thursday
- I've said it before, if a chick is drinking Whisky Sours on a Tuesday night, she ain't doing shit Wednesday morning. Why should you allow her to sleep alone?
- There's always some really good stuff going on during the week.
When you think about it, most clubs make their rent from 11-2 am Friday and Satuday. So 24 hours pays for the entire month. Everything else they do is gravy.
Not as popular stuff happens during the week, but chicks who go out for AfroPop Thursdays or Bloody Indy Sundays are not your average type chicks. They're usually not the typical basic Ugg wearing, pumpkin spice latte bitches that you normally meet on a Friday night.
c) go solo
- your boys will slow you down, especially if they're not into the game
- you'll learn a whole lot more
d) don't drink (a lot)
- being hungover sucks
- being sharp helps you when you talk to these broads and not get caught up
I'd say it's a 2 beer max, and nurse that mf'er.
7. Prep for the night game
- you should already be taking care of yourself, eating right, exercising, lifting heavy, sprinting, vitamins
- you should already have a good hair cut, clipped nails, a sparkling fresh mouth
- you should ideally have your own place, your own car/reliable transportation
The thing you might not have is appropriate clothes.
If you've got some guns, a fitted dress shirt, polo, or nice white t-shirt will show off your merchandise.
Otherwise, you need to figure out what people are wearing and either dress the best you can in that style or adopt a recognizable style. Night Game as a newb is not really the place to wear a Top Hat or feather boa. Once you get the vibe in your city, that's when you can spice things up.
To figure out what to wear, I suggest that you go to club websites and see what the guys are wearing. All the Parties comes to mind. Just heading to the mall and hoping the cute chubby girl @ Express for Men will hook you up is asking for trouble.
- house should be clean, smelling good
- bathroom is immaculate
- alcohol, weed, pills, chocolate chip cookies...whatever your vice is, should be stocked
- condoms in the wallet/pocket
- even if you don't take your shoes off when you enter your spot, temporarily do it so when a broad comes through, she takes her shoes off. (social convention is great for some things)
- no clocks anywhere
8. The Night Of
So you found a cool club night on Thursday. You can afford to be a little tired Friday morning, no big deal.
Going into it, you know that the chicks there are cool with a bang that night with the right guy.
And guess what, you're Mr. Right.
Spot is prepped. You looking dope. Smelling like new cologne. Jamming your favorite hype music.
You're gonna drive there, take a cab, or public transport.
If you meet a chick and she's good to go, you know what to do.
If she's into you, but needs more time, you have a bounce location between the club and your house in mind.
9. The Club Itself
For Newb Players
- meet and greet
- get the lay of the land
Emergency Exits in case them boys wanna start shooting?
Where is the bathroom?
Are there couches for chilling?
Where's the dance floor?
where's the bar?
Where's the smoking area?
You want to know where you can move a chick around while you're in the club.
Most of the chicks you deal with and end up banging come to the club with people. So sometimes you gotta pull the baby gazelle from the rest of the herd.
10. For the long term players, you want to lock down the spot, and then build a circuit
The Lock down - meet and greet the door guy, bouncer, bartender, and waitress
The Circuit - see if you can find the promoter or dj. Get their info, and see where else they spin/promote. Now you'll know where to find similar girls, and might be able to leverage your way into the scene.
11) Club Timeline
In many places club hours are between 10-2. When a club closes @ 4/6, people still leave earlier than that.
Now most clubs i've been to open the doors @ 8/9.
No one really starts getting there until after 10.
By 11:30 the line is there and the dj is starting to play good stuff, but not the most hype.
12:00 the chicks are getting tipsy and probably dancing
1:00 pm - peak at the club typically, and chicks start to leave.
1:50 am - the scramble, dudes who ain't got nothing for the night start to get bold and come off the wall.
2:00-2:10 - if you close the club this is when you walk out
2:10-2:30 - last ditch effort to pull a chick. Also time to do some parking lot pimping if you shined up the Chevy Cobalt previously.
So as a new player, you might want to get their early.
As a vet trying to lock a new place down, you get their early to connect with folks
But if you're a true bachelor, you show up Around 11 ish to get at the chicks after the alcohol kicks in and the dancing is starting.
12) Your approach to the game
Everyone has a different approach, a different mindset, a different set of assumptions.
I know that a man can talk his way into pussy. So I know I can convert a reluctant girl.
But you might not think that way, you might think that a man can only screen a girl to see if she's down to fuck him that night.
It doesn't matter. Just know what your basic assumptions are and test them.
With that in mind, I offer 3 ways to handle your BI.
The Spam Approach - talk to every chick there and see what's up.
The RSD/Boomerrang approach - Talk to every set for 2-5 minutes, get phone #'s and get the logistics for every girl. You'll know quickly if you have some chemistry with a chick. You'll also know fairly quickly if she lives by herself around the corner....
After working the room, pick one chick - hottest? most in to you? best logistics? - and focus on her. Call all the other ones the next day.
The talk to the hottest chick you think you can pull and stay in the set as long ass possible - You can't get good @ the game incrementally, imo. A good opener isn't really good unless it results in a bang.
Lot of guys can open a set, but they don't know enough about the next step in the sequence to get to the promised pussy land. Often they end up changing their openers to make the next steps easier.
Study long, study right!
Whichever method you initially pick, you'll eventually use all of them and then none of them.
13) Run Your Game
This is your black box. I don't know what your game is. Whether it's heavy on compliance, heavy on qualifying, super jokey, lots of kino, observational humor, childish pranks, bemused alpha, stacks of routines - that's up to you and your guru.
The advantages of running game at night means you can be a little more daring, a little more forceful, a little more risque at night without weirding the chick out. And it's typically got enough density that you can try a bunch of things out.
Night Game's looseness benefits all methods.
14) When she's ready - Head on home
You might need to bounce to your bounce location.
You might need some comfort during the drive home, cab ride to her place, on the train...et cetera.
Once she gets to your spot, or you get to hers, and depending on the heat previously generated - commence the hooking up.
If you can sense that she's tense, kiss her and then back off. Up the ante, and then pull back. Tease her until she can't take it anymore.
And then....READ THE BIBLE TOGETHER!
Feel free to ask questions.
Sender said:I've been thinking about this and the awful, inescapable truth hit me today.
Built to Fade (BtF) has been teaching us a lesson in GAME. All the elements are there and he's done this purely through the use forum mechanisms. It's been a schooling unlike any other. Roosh? Krauser? Rollo? These guys are noobish amateurs compared to our friend BtF.
Lets break it down:
Approach and Abundance Mentality
BtF starts liking posts. Now imagine every 'Like' is a direct approach -- he walks over and says "Hi there, just had to come over say hello. Thought what you wrote was cool." But just when we think we're the only ones to be singled out for his attention we realise that we're not the only ones he's approaching.
BtF makes hundreds and hundreds of approaches. He plays the numbers game. He knows there's a never ending supply of girls... Er, I mean posts.
But he doesn't like EVERY post. He chooses very specifically which posts to like and which to ignore. As a community we realise that there's some criterion at work; a rating system perhaps?
When asked he responds:
I'm a simple man. If I like your post, I will click the "like" button, usually within reason.
He chooses who he likes and who he doesn't. He qualifies us, makes us work for the likes.
Amongst all the 'Liking' (approaches) he makes some infrequent posts himself. All his posts are good quality revealing mysterious aspects of himself. He shows himself well versed in esoteric subjects such as knowledge of the bible, anime etc. He peacocks by using a plethora of GIFs and multi-coloured fonts.
He posts just enough to show quality but not so much to lose mystery.
ShitTest and TakeAway
On the 2/11 Syberpunk posts this thread. This is the first serious challenge to BtF's frame. He calls out BtF for all his 'Liking'. BtF now has to respond to this; what can he do to maintain frame?
BtF reacts with the classic takeaway. He basically leaves the room. We know that he's still active but he doesn't acknowledge this thread.
The RVF hamster goes crazy. We see over 3 pages of comments questioning why we're being ignored. There's even offers of rep points to get him back.
The Alpha and the Beta
Yesterday, a new player entered the scene. A 'like troll' calling himself 'Built too Fade' began impersonating the hero of our tale. He tried to copy the same things that BtF did but somehow we all sensed that it wasn't the same. Unconsciously we knew that BtF was clearly superior to BtooF.
'Built too Fade' is the proverbial beta orbiter. He approaces but the quality just isn't there. Can we prove this? Sure. BtF AMOG's him with wit and style when he writes:
Lastly, I'm disappointed with that imposter. They didn't even like every post in the appreciation thread. I give a 2/10 rating for that alone.
TL;DR Built to Fade is an Alpha male and the RVF community is his bitch.
All LMR is done with, it's a done deal. The only question that remains is when will the bang happen.
And most importantly: will he LTR or Pump and Dump?
samsamsam said:I'd like to have a few guidelines so it doesn't become unwieldy.
1) No comments about the quotes. If it is good there should be no need to explain it. Any person who likes the quote, just like it. If you have any comments, go to the original thread
_______________________________________________Leonard D Neubache said:I've known some fairly ugly dudes that couldn't swing their dick in a crowded room without fucking three women. Those SOBs had game.
Here's the thing. You can be good looking without game and snag a girl. You can even close with a little luck. In fact, you could probably get that girl to commit to you temporarily because she wants to parade you around like a prize poodle in front of her friends. Meanwhile she'll get you to pay for everything and provide you with starfish sex every now and then until the revulsion of being in proximity to something that only looks like a man forces her to cheat on you and treat you like shit until either you leave or she genuinely hates you so much that she actually dumps you (for nooooo reeeeason boo hoo!).
Game is what gets your dick in her ass and her mouth. Game is what puts her on her knees then her back then her feet then her hands then up against the wall. Game is what gets her in lingerie. Game is what gets her to bring a friend.
And game of course is a part of everything else you do in life, from getting good service to negotiating the best deals.
Pity the fool who has looks but refuses to learn game. He might be seen with gorgeous women but behind closed doors he's quite miserable. And his looks will fool him into thinking that he's successful with women when in reality he's barely gotten a peek into the sea of sexual conquest that man can plunder.
If I had to choose between looks and game I would choose game every time.
H1N1 said:I have been going through a tough breakup myself over the past month or so, and here are a few of my thoughts:
The sting of rejection can play havoc with your ego. For me, this girl was beautiful, and reasonable company, and she broke up with me - at the age of 28, the only one ever to do so, and the only one I've been with that I've really liked. She has been on my mind a lot, but when I take a step back and analyse my thoughts about her, they are always conversations about her realising she made a mistake, and me telling her dispassionately that I couldn't now take her back. I don't sit and mope about 'the good times', or how special it was - in fact I'm hard pushed to think of anything that really set her apart from the other girls I've been with (apart from the spectacular fucking). Maybe I had to operate at 30% mentally with her rather than the 25% I'm accustomed to with girls - hardly worth pining over. What really stings is the blow to the ego, and the lack of ready replacement. Recognising that this is a matter of ego, rather than a matter of true tragic loss, allows you to address it for what it is.
To that end, whilst you shouldn't base your self-esteem on the opinion of any individual girl, a rejection can be a valuable form of feedback on where you are at currently. I realised that I manifested many of the unattractive behaviours that are so often listed on this forum - the ones we know turn women off - and whatever her shortcomings, I made mistakes that I can learn from and not make next time around. To that end, my future relationships will improve for the experience, whatever the short term pain, and for that I feel I must be grateful.
Beyond that, when viewed at a level of abstraction, what I feel women often offer as an ideal in the mind of a man is a refuge from the relentless hardness of life. This is largely a lie in practice, but we tie ourselves in knots finding ways to keep the lie alive. We lose the girl, but what hurts us most is the loss of an ideal that allows us to believe that life needn't be quite so difficult and unforgiving. In a sense, we use this ideal of woman to give ourselves an excuse to retreat from the world in a relationship, and in a way to become losers in a socially acceptable way. The solution I have found helpful is to try to accept reality in all its unlovely harshness, and to take the opportunity to become tougher, more worldly, and better equipped to realise the life I should like for myself, which without these tests and the knowledge they provide would not be possible. I have a clear idea of where I'm trying to get to, and I try to look at the setbacks and failures as crucial steps - every bit as essential as the successes - along the path to that ideal I'm striving for.
Finally, if that's all a bit vague and wishy washy, I suggest you look at all the men of 35-45 in the world around you who are tied to some girl or another of a similar sort of age - increasingly paunchy dudes, very many of whom are already done, and are on a slow crawl to the grave. Would you settle for that reality simply because you're infatuated with some girl now? If you have eyes to see you can appreciate how easily you could end up one of those guys because you'll settle for a little comfort and respite whilst it lasts (and it rarely lasts, even if the relationship does). When the girl leaves you to enjoy her last few good years, take a look around you at all the men who were not so lucky, who did not get this stark lesson or who couldn't learn from it when they did, and think, 'There but for the grace of God, go I'.
Veloce said:I banged my dream girl yesterday. The one I wrote about a few pages back. I know technically this belongs in the "+1 Thread", but since this post is going to be all over the place I'll just drop it here.
The sex was as good as I could have expected. Of course, it's never as good as it should be in your mind. You see a gorgeous girl and something inside hypes it up like, "Man, if ONLY I could bang that girl." As if life will somehow attain more meaning.
Took her on a day trip to a little town I like. Went for a quick hike (it was scorching hot), went for a swim at our hotel. As soon as the room was ready I took her in and it was on.
I could barely fit a finger inside of her. It took some time to loosen her up, but I finally worked my way in. She's either the tightest girl I've ever been with or the 2nd (this Korean girl I banged a few years ago, similar tiny build and insanely tight) Amazing body, just tight everywhere, super thin, and some nice meat on her ass. I was really digging deep and she took it with a look of fear on her face the whole time. She came a couple times (I think) and after I worked her over from multiple positions blew a garden hose load all over her back.
We napped. Woke up, and I took her all over town and showed her my favorite spots. We watched a sunset. We talked a lot. It was a beautiful day. We have a lot of weird quirks in common that I don't hear about too often. Some uncanny ones. The exact temperature we like to drink water. Our thoughts on outer space; some really nerdy shit. She's taken her fair share of acid too, maybe that's what it was.
She talked about wanting something serious, about wanting a family. The conversation moved forward really fast. Asked me if I'm seeing anyone else. I gave out my token response: "Yeah I got a couple wives, some mistresses, about 8 girlfriends." She looked genuinely hurt. Her parents are still together and she was raised by two protective older brothers. She's got very traditional views on building a family and seems like that's what she's working towards. She's 23. Never once heard any bullshit about building a career. For our day trip she'd packed a huge Victoria's Secret duffle bag with multiple bras, heels, full makeup kit. Her nails, makeup, and hair are nearly perfectly done. She puts a lot of work into her appearance. One of the girliest girls I've known and been with.
I felt bad with this one. I felt like a dickhead. Part of me wonders, "I wonder if she would have liked me pre red pill."
My head's all over the place with her. I hate to be that guy saying "This one's different." but she is. They're out there. 10 years ago I would have confessed my love for her, and from what I've seen from her she feels the same way. I told her something to that effect: "You only like me because I'm distant and aloof. If I told you how much I liked you then you wouldn't be interested." She replied with something like, "Are you kidding me? That would make my day." It was a whole day of this shit.
Part of me is tempted to go back, to be trusting and reckless and throw myself into some situation with her. She called me out on it too:
"You've obviously been hurt but so what? So now you turn into the bitches that hurt you?"
"So what, you want me to drop the other girls and commit to you?"
"Don't even talk about it if you're not going to do it."
And on and on. And then we'd have some lighthearted conversation about our favorite foods. Got dinner at this awesome outdoor patio spot, live music, small town people with kids everywhere, a couple glasses of wine. Air like bath water. We'd give each other long eye contact; me thinking how much I wanted to bang again, how much I liked her, how I wish things were different. Her probably thinking what an asshole I am, how to get me to commit, how to get what she wants. Push/pull all day long.
When it was dark I took her out to these orange orchards where there's no street lights. It's dark except for some light pollution glowing on the horizon from L.A. You could see the Milky Way, Casseopea, Big Dipper. She was blown away, had never seen so many stars. Saw a few shooting stars.
She tells me "I'm not going to have sex with you if you're seeing other girls but I still want to hang out with you."
Me: "Too bad, I'm still going to molest you."
And then I'd put my arm around her and watch the stars in silence. It was some real Kevin Arnold and Winnie Cooper shit.
Went back to the hotel, tried to bang, got the tip in (barely) but she pushed away. I couldn't sleep all night because of a raging hardon so at 6:30 A.M. I told her to get up and get dressed. Drove us back to L.A. through some really scenic countryside while she slept in the passenger seat; her tiny 85-pound frame barely taking up the seat.
I dropped her off and there was no sadness or bitterness. She looked at me with the same happy eyes, thanked me for a beautiful day, we kissed and I watched her bounce off in her tiny shorts, tank top, and ridiculously oversized sun hat with her giant Victoria's Secret duffle bag (that she packed for ONE night).
Look at my phone with some angry texts from my gf. She's worried about me. I text her back while looking at pics of the other girl. I feel completely haggard.
Pull off into some run down strip mall neighborhood diner in the Valley, order up some over medium eggs, bacon, toast, hashbrowns, and salsa. It's all cooked correctly.
It's 95 degrees at 9:30 A.M. and the eggs are fucking perfect.
LatinaLova said:First of all, "tightness" must be defined. Sometimes the puss is loose at the entry but short, and we call it "tight". Sometimes it's tight at the entry but deep and we call it "loose" lol.
Or sometimes it's loose but because it's dry, it feels tighter. Other times a tight puss gets super aroused and it feels looser.
Point is, this debate is more complex than it seems.
yankeetravels said:Reading this thread, I feel the need to put my stake on Christmas. I tend to have a different view on it than most of the forum, believing it's one of the highlights of the winter season and probably one of the five best days of the year for family. I definitely understand the people that don't like the holidays or feel some sort of depression during them, and there's things that annoy me about the holidays too. But, I am someone that has grown up with close family and has mostly held onto it.
One thing I tend to believe is that Christmas (Thanksgiving too) is a redpill within the redpill. What I mean is that Christmas is the type of thing men bitch about not caring for in a similar way that women bitch about not caring if they're single on Valentine's Day. They care, but want to remain strong at least for face to take on the tough holidays.
Christmas despite the materialism around it offers something that is very difficult to buy. A foundation. A foundation that offers love, support, and togetherness no matter what the circumstances. One example is that I mentioned in other posts I lost a close relative a few years back. He died close to the holidays and that first Christmas without him was very difficult for my whole family. Definitely the toughest one I have faced in my life. Despite all of us being miserable that Christmas, I think it was unspoken that the rest of us were grateful to be going through this with each other instead of on our own. Without a strong family, I think a lot of us would've drank ourselves into an oblivion for those couple of days.
I remember watching The Bucket List movie with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. Nicholson was a rich, lifelong bachelor and Freeman was a lifelong family man. Both had a terminal disease and went on a trip to do certain things before they die. When they got back, Freeman spent his last days with his wife of 50+ years, his kids, and his grandkids. They ate together at a big family dinner with Freeman and his wife staring at each other from across the table looking happy, scared, and appreciative. They both knew this might be the last big holiday dinner together, but they also both took the time to look around at the foundation they created together. Meanwhile, Nicholson went home, thought about his broken family relationships of the past, and ended up sobbing about it in front of hookers when it finally clicked to him that he was going to die alone with nobody really giving a shit he was going to be gone outside of his money.
Christmas I think we all know is about family. But the redpill in it is that it signifies the strength of the foundation of family. For a lot of guys, I think this is their eventual endgame or at least in the back of their minds, and Christmas forces us to take a hard look at that foundation and our closest relationships around us. It can be depressing if you realize you don't have that or just lost it as an adult. It makes us realize it may be important to keep good relationships with our family because like it or not, at the end of the day they are the most likely people that would be there for you if you're down.
If you spend it with family you love, great. If you spend it with family you hate, perhaps ask how you can improve or fix that situation with giving up as more of a last resort. If you spend it traveling, nothing wrong with that as long as it's not an every year thing. If you spend it with friends, that can be potentially rewarding as you can discover you have friends close enough to consider family.
Christmas makes us realize who we love, who we care about at the end, and the foundation we currently have. Reflect on it. Don't waste it.
Days of Broken Arrows said:I had an empty feeling when I had one nighters so I got in relationships. That left me empty and feeling I should be dating around.
I had an empty feeling dating around, so I got married. That left me empty, feeling the whole world was out there having more fun.
I had an empty feeling when I got divorced and now look back wistfully on the nice house we used to have that someone else lives in.
I had an empty feeling working my butt off. When I achieved a big goal, I had an empty feeling because I missed the struggle and security of being immersed in my work and not having to think of bigger issues.
The fault is not in our situations, but in ourselves. If you feel empty in one situation, odds are you'll feel it elsewhere. I'd recommend figuring out what your deeper issue is before you make costly mistakes.
I have a vivid memory of turning 20, having a one-nighter with a woman I was dying to bang, then driving home on Route 29 north on the way back from DC, thinking to myself "Is that all there is?" and feeling suicidal and daydreaming about driving into oncoming traffic.
In retrospect, the problem wasn't the one-nigher(s) but me. Looking back, I should have been enjoying the moment. I was young! People liked me! She had great boobs and was 19!! When will that come around again?! But I was dealing with serious underlying issues of depression and anxiety that nothing solved -- not time, nor maturity, not marriage, not divorce, not success, not achieving any goal. Shame it took decades for me to get this.
Deal with the larger issue, whatever it is, not the one-nighters.
....the pursuit of happiness.
the action of following or pursuing someone or something.
Fuck all you lazy, cowardly, Un-American communist traitorous fucks.
Id take 1 hard working immigrant with sincere aspirations of making a better life for himself and his family over a 1000 of you.
If youre not sure if Im directing that at you or not then I more than likely am.
Did I say fuck you?
Just in case
ArloDash said:Digital nomad isn't a great term for what most of us do.
I typically spend 6 months to a year in a cheap place. That's long enough to get the vibe of a place, long enough so that if you have to buy some basic kitchen shit it's not a total waste of money, and short enough that you can skirt most visa rules.
The other big benefit is that it forces you to be minimalistic with your possessions, a little blessing I've noticed from having to downsize to a few suitcases.
Other benefits include a varying selection of fresh pootytang, meeting new people and exploiting new opportunities in business, and just satisfying a general sense of adventure.
On top of this, you save loads of money and end up years ahead of your peers financially, if you save your money properly, who are slaving away in the office back in the USA.
So yeah. More money, fresh selections of girls whenever you want, change of scenery whenever you want, and minimalism. Most guys eventually just land on a place they like and stay there forever, or just move back to the USA.
That being said, I typically orbit around Ukraine and usually end up back there.
Noir said:Aggredor, I feel your pain brother.
I need to give you some background to understand where I am coming from. I have nothing to hide and I hope this helps a few other people as I have been through quite a bit of shit that has taught me a few lessons.
I am hitting mid-20s now and my father is 61 and mother is 66. I have a strong suspicion that my dad has Asperger’s due to his strange ways and my mom is riddled with Rheumatoid Arthritis. One is from a very rich family and the other from a very poor family. One is white, the other is not; they lived on opposing sides during apartheid in South Africa. When I was 5, they moved overseas as my dad has dual EU/RSA citizenship so no grandparents to take care of me in my absence. I pretty much took care of myself and this made me less reliant on my parents and I took pride but also despised them for this. As you may have guessed, I am the only child (important).
I had a very bad relationship with my parents growing up. I had fights and sent my dad to hospital once. Nearly jumped out of the car on the highway due to an argument we had. I left home at 19 to go to the army (compulsory and honestly, good for people). That ended up being worse than home but I learned my lessons. I got an honorable discharge to leave and go to university instead of wasting multiple years of my life doing mundane shit (occupied place but not in a state of war so just basic training, gun shooting and mainly babysitting the camp). That was the last time I lived at home and it made me grow as a man, going to the army and university on the other side of Europe.
This being said, it could always be worse. This is important, perspective. My girlfriend has a super dysfunctional family and due to this, she is very supportive of mine and makes an effort, I should probably do the same.
Tangents aside, I will break down what I did, what I am doing and what I will continue to do.
What I learned:
Leaving home is good for you but go and make a life elsewhere
See the world for yourself and understand that there are many things your parents have been sheltering you from. Some good, some bad. You will hate them or thank them but ultimately, the lesson remains; most parents are just winging it. This will put it into perspective for you, when you have children. You can’t plan for it, you just adapt around it and make shit happen. Some people have things work out for them, others don’t.
I upped and left Europe and moved back to South Africa, away from my parents. When they visit, I feel like they are being invasive. Nonetheless, people grow fonder of each other in their absence.
I am sure you have come to appreciate certain things in their absence. They are humans, they love you unconditionally and they have sacrificed a lot to get you to where you are. They live for your successes, to be able to impress their friends during their dinners, to be able to look back on how far you have come. I do shit for myself but I also aim to make my parents ever increasingly proud.
Accept them for who they are
They are who they are.
They grew up in different times, a different era and life was very different. Due to this, their understanding is less and less of what you experience and your lens on society. My mom was shitting in a hole in a mud hut 20m from her home. No electricity or water. My father lived in a 6 room mansion, went to the best boarding school in the country and fought in the war (he has some crazy stories). Their understanding of current life is way different but props to my parents, they are very open-minded.
Respect who they are as you would want to be respected
Regardless of what they say, they will respect you and it would take a very bitter individual to not respect their children, given you are not fucking up your life. Understand that they have your best interests in mind. One thing I learn as I get older, parents know better than what we usually do, when it comes to major decisions which are based on morality and ‘forks in the road’.
Understand what they are going through
You don’t need to agree; they aren’t seeking your approval anyways, due to the nature of your relationship. All they want is for you to understand. This is very easy to do.
- This is why they complain, they have too much free time and/or live in fear of not being able to adapt as fast as society is changing. We complain about the shit on this forum and we are sub-40 for the most part.
- This is why they are needy, because they want that validation and assurance that you will be there for at the end of the day, family > all.
- This is why they are particular, because they are entitled to be that way with their time. A lot of people at that age have made shitloads of sacrifices and are tired of doing so. They will hold their ground over the little things because to them, I don’t think they are as insignificant.
- This is why they bicker with each other, because with all their investment in each other, neither of them as won the power struggle to change each other. Ultimately this is what keeps them together, they are still challenging each other. This is what I noticed with divorced couples and couples that are still together. Some lose the motivation to challenge each other, others continue to do so.
The reason I write this long post is to help you understand because understanding is what I lacked. I wish my therapist told me this when I was 15 and being taken to anger management for being excessively violent as a kid and seeking out alternative channels (hooliganism) to exert these insecurities. I hope to help anyone else avoid this.
Step 1: Understand their perspective. Leave home, grow up (if you take this as condescending, you need to grow up), have experiences that will throw you outside of your comfort zone.
Step 2: Accept who they are and that they will not change. All you can do is accept. You can still change, they cannot. This comes through the form of respect.
Step 3: Control your anger for it is pointless, frame your relationship as positive and be calm. Put it into perspective. When we are in the army and there was the ‘idea of being invaded’, my trials and tribulations with my family seemed insignificant.
As a man, you have the ability to control such anger. We can only get angry at things we see in ourselves. When my dad used to piss me off it was because I would see myself being able to do things like that. The more I vowed to not be like him, the more it happened. I think this is probably where ‘pushing buttons’ comes from.
Step 4: Devote yourself to your own cause. I have been building my own life, my own skills and generally have for a long time. You enter this world alone and you leave this world alone. You will earn the respect of your parents and they will stop nagging you when they start to see you as a man, not a child. Your anger is one of a child, not an adult and it creates this beckoning cycle. Your father will respect you and even though your mom will always treat you like a child, she will also respect you (women ping through their alpha male’s reality).
Step 5: Recognize that their time on this planet is limited. Take care of them if you can. Set them up for happiness, health and financial security. They trust me to make certain decisions on their behalf and I told them, they are not mine to make. I simply encourage them. My parents now live a happy, blessed life with friends that love them and a logistically perfect life. My mother has taken up other hobbies and my dad has gone on the be one of the de-facto authorities in his obscure hobby (Aspergers people seem to be like this).
Step 6: Do all the above and love unconditionally. The harshest thing after burying your child is one that does not love you in return despite your efforts to do otherwise. This comes from accepting old age and life. We will also be that way. We can only learn from those older than us in such scenarios.
80% of my life revolves around me. The rest is my family and 2 other individuals who I consider family.
I work hard to give back and sustain them financially and for their health. I will go to church with them, even though I don’t follow religion, just to show face. I call them once a week to let them vent to me for this is who they are.
We live in a society where people spend more time on facebook stalking hoes than actually phoning their parents and connecting with the people you are the closest to, literally and figuratively.
Women, jobs and mates come and go but family is forever. They will get sick and need you to take care of them. The same way that when we have children, they are there to take care of them while we hustle.
It could be a cultural thing, being Mediterranean but I am proud of it.
The more you respect and love them, the more freedom they will give you.
They only start interfering when you start to distance yourself from them as it becomes a power struggle.
Finally, there is a book that I would have liked to have read earlier, to help understand difficult interactions you may have; It’s called Games People Play by Eric Berne. It has a few examples which were relevant in the 1960s but certain things ring true. How people fall in to three ego states of Parent, Child and Adult. It covers Transactional Analysis.
I wish you all the best man.
zamfir112 said:Davoer said:What's the reason of. That 'decline'?
leftist media who fund pro women anti men&family propaganda
the mass immigration in Us and EU
laws tend to favour women in the US
cheaper flights than ever, you can now fly to poland for 50 euros for example
liberal abortion laws
hollywood and kardashians etc
should i go on?
ghostdog said:Artsy chicks are eternal tragic paradoxes. It's like knowing a couple of morbid truths about themselves actually incraeses their solipsism. If you mess with them make sure to let them know on some level that you don't give a shit about how unique they are. They're still just sacks of fluid to ejaculate into.