Have any of you given up on women?

GWYW2015

Woodpecker
I was alone until I was 53 and could not accept that I could be single. WHY??? It is hard because it is not natural.

I believed God could find me a wife all those years but it wasn't until I went overseas and quickly got married. There is nothing better than a good woman and there is nothing worse than a bad one.
 
I agree that people aren’t meant to be single. It works for some but the vast majority need to be coupled.

The problem, as we’ve stated, is that the Western world has a lot of barriers that get in the way. In many ways we become our own worst enemy.

Past your 20s I would say it’s not worth it for most men. Not in the West anyway. The obesity rate alone ruins it for me.

Then you throw in everything else like male competition, cost of living, and it gets to be too much effort for too little return.

I kinda wish I was raised in a red state and a member of a conservative community. I’d probably be a lot more happy.

The freedom the liberalism and progressivism has given me is nice and fun. But lonely and frustrating. It’s every man and woman for themselves.

This is why I like Asia. It’s so much more cooperative and safe. Not without its problems though.

I’m in touch with an old flame in China. She wants to bring me over and start a family. Fairly wealthy late 30s woman. Willing to move to a sub-tropical area of the country so I can surf. Also golfs.

Wondering if I should just do it. But part of me feels uneasy and conflicted. I don’t think you’re supposed to feel that way about marriage and kids.
 
OP or anyone feeling this: go to Asia. It will solve your problem.

You’ll be like a kid in a candy store again. You’ll find whatever you want with little effort. If you lose it the shelves are fully stocked.

Try again. There’s an endless supply of good women. In the West you’re in near total a scarcity and the quality is poor to mediocre.

Relationships and dating in the West are some of the most complicated in the world. It might not seem that way because they’re so easy to get into with the rise of swipe apps. Yet the endless emptiness of it becomes a huge source of misery and waste for a lot of young people. It’s almost like an addiction/abuse problem.

We are having fun but irrevocably damaging ourselves psychologically. Other people become a disposable commodity with whom we have fun. Then dump when problems arise. Which of course is 100% of the time in any human interaction of substance.

Serial dating really messes up our timelines. If you don’t marry someone by collegish age, you’re setting yourself up for out of sync timelines when you keep dating as a working adult.

Most (but not all) relationships will be doomed from the start because your goals and timelines never quite match up. Then dating becomes little more than a self fulfilling prophecy of fun—but failed—encounters.

It’s not an unreasonable reaction for a middle aged man to reach his limit and walk away. Past age 25 the obesity rate zooms and the good ones are paired off. You’re stuck with the leftovers no one wants.

Hooking up becomes tedious and physically unfulfilling, even if you continue to pull decent quality. I regularly date 18-22 year olds but they’re painfully immature and boring. They’d make someone happy but not me.

Marrying in your early 30s is probably the answer for most men. Earlier or later are too hard for different reasons.

Early 30s is also about the limit for having kids and enjoying being physical with them. As well as avoiding a huge generation gap where you can’t relate to each other because you live in different worlds.

I agree that most men have dropped the ball with their lifestyle, personality, putting up with bad behavior from women. Though it’s not as simple as choosing to be more alpha, leading, muscles, leather coat (laugh), etc. The problems are societal. You’re swinging a bat at the rain.

None of that matters if you’re in a relationship that was doomed from the start because of societal pressures, out of sync timelines, or you really have nothing in common with each other.

I see so many couples with nothing in common. Different timelines, goals, values, etc.

They think they have things in common because they like to do normal human things:
eat food at restaurants
watch Netflix at home
workout at the gym
take vacations to the beach.

It’s laughable. If you live in a Tier I city you could drop them and find a replacement next week.

Even with a really specific hobby like rock climbing, it would be easy to find a partner that’s also into it. Yet the process of pair bonding is so twisted that we choose to placate and stay in bad relationships for too long

The only thing keeping most couples together is the pair bond they’ve made over the dating/relationship.

Usually it’s not that strong and full of problems. Even after a few years.

Both men and women have to focus on school, work, family, etc. The relationship comes last. Both people compromise but it’s not enough

Walking away is problematic because the reality is that you can’t really control your emotions one way or the other.

You’re tired and upset but still lonely and yearning for someone in your life. Yet when you had that it was too problematic to keep.

I can’t see most men being happy unless they’re able to fill that void. But in so doing they’re setting themselves up for torture.

I said in one of my books, “You have two choices. You can either be lonely or annoyed.”

It’s meant to be tongue in cheek. But I’ve found it to be generally true.

The only relationship I had that wasn’t this way was with an older Japanese woman. She was at the upper age range of being physically attractive but being Asian still passed for late 20s. Oddly still bothering me to have kids which I found kinda crazy.

Their cooperative society makes people much more suitable for relationships. They all grow up with one sibling. Therefore not spoiled nor neglected. Parents rarely divorce so the population isn’t totally screwed up like America (50% divorce rate)

I’m very practical oriented in my posts. Rather than dive deeper into the meta side I’ll offer some practical insight from dating in 50+ countries—

**BEFORE YOU GIVE UP GO TO ASIA**

You can probably find whatever you want there. Dating 18-22 year old students or marrying a woman who’s too old for kids but still skinny and appealing in multiple ways.

In general the USA/EU is not worth it over 30. Latam is not worth it over 40. Both have shockingly high rates of single motherhood and divorce. Women’s personalities are severely compromised.

Eastern Europe has a huge societal problem with relationships being transactional but the upside is that huge age gaps are normal or even desired.

Asia is good at any age. Particularly Southeast Asia. Real love is possible and likely. It doesn’t matter if you’re 18 or 80.

I’d encourage any guy of any age who feels like the OP to head to Thailand as it is open now. You can find every option at every age there. True love, marriage, kids. Skinny, educated, feminine women. It’s all on the table in Asia.

Whenever I hear men complaining about this I wish I could get out my prescription pad and write them a plane ticket to Asia. Most likely will solve their problem to some degree.

Certainly far better than staying in the West. Its a societal problem. Unfortunately you’re stuck in a bad society. Nothing you can’t really do but leave.

Excellent post with very astute points. You are definitely right about Eastern European girls being "transactional". I've been in Eastern Europe and the Balkans, and I can assure any Man that people who have great things to say about these women are naïve or in exaggeration. Yes, the women will cook and clean for you, yes they are Traditional and will be a housewife and do your laundry, so on and so forth. But the thing is if you are someone very Passionate and love Novelty / Reflection, these qualities are very limited in these populations, there is also a MAJOR lack of character or depth in these women. They are very boring for the most part, have very rigid lines of thinking, especially in the Post-Communist countries, and if you are like me where I cannot tolerate bad teeth, let me tell you there is a lot of bad teeth in many Women throughout all these regions. Passive-Aggressive behavior is also very common and you will stress yourself out trying to think there's something more to them when there really isn't.
 

DeusLuxMeaEst

Pelican
Gold Member
I've thought about Asia, I know the Phillipines has a lot of Catholics. Moving there permanently may be tricky. Then again the cost of living is much lower in some parts so savings can go a long way.
 

Zagor

Woodpecker
Very extreme, but becoming more common, to be honest. It's easier now than ever to live like that, to tell yourself that Twitter is real life and counts as social life/community. With the lockdown that kind of lifestyle is being essentially mandated for many people who didn't form a solid circle before.

I think a lot of millennials and zoomers will end up living like Carl, except in a hive city. The worst of all worlds.

I'm the kind of guy who's a big introvert, I like people but they drain my energy really quickly. Like you might be the most interesting person in the world to me but after two hours I need to go and be and be alone. Events where I'm surrounded by a large number of people for a long time are a nightmare for me. Inwardly my brain shuts down and goes on vacation and outwardy I just act and behave on auto pilot, it might seem like I'm talking to you but I'm not really there, it's just empty phrases.
That's why I always thought marriage is not for me, how could I spend my days always in a presence of another person(s)? Just the idea scares the shit out of me. But on the other hand, I have a long term perspective on life, and what scares me equally is being old and having nobody in my life. That's one of the reasons I'm giving marriage a serious thought these days.
 

Dilated

Robin
1. Social media has infected every country on earth. Women’s personalities are a confused combo of thinking of themselves as super high value but deep down knowing they’re worthless consumer slaves addicted to their phones.
2. Pretty much every girls is devoted to school and work. That comes first so no real time for a proper relationship. Yet I still need to travel to them and support them financially.
3 Obesity. 80% fat. Other 20% skinny fat.
4 Feminism BLM Blue Wave etc. Many are radicalized even if they think they are not.
5 USA has no value to them anymore. They’d rather stay in Mexico. Me too.
6. Broken homes. Broken people. No role modeling from mom or dad. Clueless how to behave. Like movie characters. They say dumb things like “Sorry not sorry” because they’re so poorly raised they can’t make a meaningful apology. Nor do they want to.

And so on. It’s a lost cause in my opinion. You can get lucky and find love here. But you’d have to be willing to take too much abuse to stay in a relationship or marriage. Unless you’re desperate I guess. I’d rather kill myself than date most Latinas.

I did date one girl in a non-popular Brazil city that seemed marriage material. I wish I’d been more attracted to her. Or it was a surf city with golf.

-Salinger. Yes I had to watch midnight express in college before my first study abroad program lol.

-Kingfisher. Great minds think alike. Sounds like we’ve had a similar experience, too.

-OP. Great you did Christian thing. I really wish I could believe in God. At this point I might fake it. The whole no sex thing really screws me up too. I don’t even understands the point of dating without it. But I guess that’s because it was my reward for enduring so much bad behavior?

I talk to a Christian woman at the cafe I patronize in Mexico. Told her what a hard time I have trying to date women here. They have such little respect for men.

Her attitude was basically that everything is the mans fault, always. She thought I was poor and that was a problem. She found out I was rich and that was a problem.

She said I had no job that’s bad. I had already given her my book which she ignored. I showed her my investments. Nothing made her take me seriously.

She kept saying “No I don’t mean that!” And coming up with things I should be doing. I wasn’t doing that and it was my problem and fault.

She said I had to get up early every morning and do something. I do I surf. No not that.

You have to stay busy the whole day. I do I write, invest, jog to gym, golcourse.
No not that!

I joked should I start a business? Like a cafe? She said yes that’s what I mean. I pointed out that would be illegal given my immigration status. Besides I make more online.

Then she said I had to volunteer. I told her I do every week at the turtle refuge.

She finally wore herself out coming up with negs about my life. Then prayed for me with her arm shaking.

The Christian women seem just as selfish and negative. There’s no more protective veil around them. Don’t delude yourself.

She herself has messaged me asking for help with things. I take the time to help her. Then she doesn’t bother saying thank you. No manners. Huge red flag.

I do apologize if my posts are negative. There’s positive sides to dating in Latin America but I don’t think that needs much attention or discussion.
I haven’t spent enough time in Mexico to comment on the obesity thing but a lot of what you’re saying about LatAm resonates. Been in Ecuador since June and while obesity isn’t bad, the thing that bothers me most is their attitude- ‘Vamos a solucionar’.

They wake up each day trying to find solutions to problems. They never ask themselves- ‘can I avoid the problem to begin with?’

It’s fucking exhausting.

My girlfriend (Ecuadorean) does extremely well by Ecuadorean standards- private accountant earning several times the average salary. She spent $20k on a kitchen remodel in 2019 because she ‘likes nice things’.

Fast forward to now- everyone I know in Ecuador has either lost their job or taken a huge paycut due to Covid. Her included. She is thinking about selling her car to pay for bills.

It never occurred to her that instead of remodeling her kitchen it would be nice to have that $20k. With $20k she wouldn’t have a catastrophe. But, now she needs to ‘solucionar’.

I bring this up to her and she cannot connect the dots. Literally can’t do it. The idea of cause and effect and making connections doesn’t exist. And it isn’t an IQ thing. She is smart enough to understand it...but she has a thinking problem. High IQ has no utility if you can’t get yourself to have the right thought process to use it.

It’s like dealing with a child. Give a child $100 and there is nary a thought beyond having $100 and the toy they want. The difference is children don’t have the capacity to think beyond this- they haven’t yet developed the neural connections.

I’ve managed my finances to the point that I don’t have to work if I don’t want to. Yet, that isn’t enough for her. She still thinks she knows what she’s doing.

Women are essentially tall children. They have to be saved from themselves. If you can find one that allows you do this you’re way ahead of the game.

I haven’t met one yet.
 
Well that kitchen thing sounds like the same problem most people have. They live beyond their means. Women have looked at my apartment with stacked cardboard boxes instead of a shelf and been perplexed. I must be a bum...

Meanwhile my income and investments are orders of magnitude above theirs. They can’t fathom that the last thing I want is to appear wealthy if someone peaks through my windows.

Another foreigner in my town didn’t get that and almost got robbed recently. Have fun showing off. All that does is get you false positives.

I do think it’s necessary to show off though if you want a decent woman. Sadly women will judge your lifestyle by the amount of things you have and not the free time, unlimited choice, and stability you have.

This is because they want to upgrade their life through you. They never admit it. It’s also an ego thing. They don’t want to feel like you’re a bum.

They get confused because a lot of foreigners do fake baller game for a few weeks. And a lot of long term expats live simple lifestyles like me—but bc they don’t actually have resources—not necessarily because they want to blend in, live like a local, and write a book about it

So the quality women think hmmm... I won’t get an upgrade or free shit from this Gringo. He doesn’t even want to game me beyond a few texts.

Meh, next.

Since the crisis I’ve gotten messages from women who I matched in various cities around mexico. They’ve lost their job. They do some investigating to see if I’ll support them.

Previously most were busy with work and ignored a dozen or more of my texts before finally meeting. Others didn’t show up for dates at all.

Or finally showed up and were nothing special and quite standard boring overgrown children types. By which time I already lost respect for them anyway based on their disregard and rudeness.

They’re slightly more responsive now. But still all the same attitude problems. Same societal problems. There’s no reason to date them. They’re pretty much fodder for my books.

They’ll just torture you and give little to nothing in return besides their body (which is always too chubby for me—even the flaca girls that other RVFers saw pics of and said they’d kill for).

You’d think they’d use this time to get skinny and workout. That’s what I did. I’m hot now.

Or learn better English, guitar, golf, surfing. Again that’s what I did this year. Nope. They have smartphones that need love and cradling. Hold it and stare into your phones eyes as if it’s a little baby. Yes that’s what I like to see in the women I court. Wonderful!

Nope. Self-improvement is not their agenda. Mexico did add warning labels to food for excess calories, sugar, fat, and sodium. Time will tell if it shifts public awareness and responsibility in this nation of fat pigs.

Not picking on Mexico. USA same thing. Fatties dropping dead of covid means we all have to stay home forever. God forbid they diet and exercise. It’s all about the vaccine at this point. My hero!

Those formerly employed and busy women also got mad that I turned down hookups they were expecting. It’s strange to see women get angry and feel rejected for not getting sex. They try to tell me our problem was language or something.

I tell them no. You’re just too wrapped up in yourself to be a worthwhile investment. You’re not even a particularly nice person to interact with. That really gets them angered and defensive. They attack back telling me I have an ego issue blah blah.

Before I’m honest I will go back and forth to see what’s going on with them. Most Mexican women in this position hint about money but don’t directly ask. They make you offer by bringing up transportation costs, their low bank account, the distance, and blah blah.

They did all this economic manipulation before too. There’s been a slight uptick in the past year because they can’t even afford their own Starbucks. But honestly Covid has not made that much of a difference in the middle class and informal economy.

Girls working in tourism have been effected. But most tourism girls are pretty fat and ugly anyway so I don’t deal with them.

Most of these girls live at home. Their lives are boring af. They’re just sitting around the beach most of the time anyway.
They don’t spend much money on their lifestyle. That’s why countries like Mexico still have underdeveloped economies...

The economic crisis hasn’t necessarily added a bunch of whores to the roster. The girls who were whoring before covid are still whoring.

The ones unemployed and at home are still hoping to get a job or boyfriend to cover the gap. Many went back to school since it’s basically free here. They don’t want to Whore outright (which I’d respect more than their money for torture game).

So it’s just added another level of confusion and indirect manipulation to interacting with them. No thanks.

So sad to watch them behave. They hop on my social media to neg me publicly. They’re really confused and counterproductive about how to get a man to take care of them.

One recently texted me “I’m a good person and so are you. Blah blah”. I replied “You think you’re a good person? Wow.”

Theyre used to acting with impunity. Most just continue to live at home with parents. Their smartphone addiction sustains them through these boring days of unemployment and lack of sumo boyfriends with less money to spend on them.

Most of them are post wall anyway. God speed.

At least when asset bubbles burst the assets with good fundamentals become undervalued and it’s a buying opportunity.

When the broken af human capital bubbles bursts you’re still left with a bunch of foul mouthed lazy fat asses that massively overvalue themselves, live at home, and go back to school.

They’re less valuable then when they had a job and not even assets if they ever were. An asset puts money in your pocket.

These women are liabilities. They take money out of your pocket. Distraction. Manipulation. Personal attacks. Then they double down on it when times are lean. Wow!

I’m wondering if I should learn Chinese or keep going with Spanish. I really see no point in learning Spanish. It’s so demotivating to interact with anyone in Spanish. All the educated worthwhile people speak English.

I guess it might be worthwhile in a poorer country in Central America. But other guys have warned me about going there. It’s even worse in terms of shithole stuff like crime.
 
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stugatz

Pelican
I do feel the need to share my last relationship, as it gave purpose to my dating hiatus.

I'd stopped regularly looking for dates in about 2016, with a significant slowdown before then - I was just burned out and done with the game. I found traditionalist Catholicism in summer 2017, and within a month, her. We met at a group lunch at one of those Brazilian steakhouses, and clearly hit it off - I noticed most of the way through our conversation that most people had left the table to give us some space.

Soon after we began dating. I wasn't too excited to date her but was inclined to give her a shot as she was so excited (I've always been shallow concerning women, and she wasn't quite hot enough - major problem there). A few red flags began popping up right after, though, and made me realize I wanted out. She was about three years older than me, and well into the first half of her thirties. She was VERY affectionate and into public affection displays, when I almost always have had to be the one to cross that line first - I felt rushed. She also had just gotten out of a relationship with a borderline criminal single father, and found her way back into trad Catholicism immediately afterward. I thought, um, so you decided to go boyfriend shopping for stable men because you sense your time is running out?

I dumped her about a month into the relationship, because I decided that I could do better - and that someone like this was likely going to be my best bet in the future if I didn't straighten up and fly right. I've since, though, been afraid to date. Even though she was wrong in thinking that I was an easy mark, I had to have been displaying some personality traits that made her think so.

She ended up marrying an Arab. (As he was from Casablanca, where I have in fact lived, I can definitely say that there are no Arab Christians from that part of the world - so she abandoned Christianity in her quest for a husband, true to what I'd assumed.)
 

JiggyLordJr

Kingfisher
Well that kitchen thing sounds like the same problem most people have. They live beyond their means. Women have looked at my apartment with stacked cardboard boxes instead of a shelf and been perplexed. I must be a bum...

Meanwhile my income and investments are orders of magnitude above theirs. They can’t fathom that the last thing I want is to appear wealthy if someone peaks through my windows.

Another foreigner in my town didn’t get that and almost got robbed recently. Have fun showing off. All that does is get you false positives.

I do think it’s necessary to show off though if you want a decent woman. Sadly women will judge your lifestyle by the amount of things you have and not the free time, unlimited choice, and stability you have.

This is because they want to upgrade their life through you. They never admit it. It’s also an ego thing. They don’t want to feel like you’re a bum.

They get confused because a lot of foreigners do fake baller game for a few weeks. And a lot of long term expats live simple lifestyles like me—but bc they don’t actually have resources—not necessarily because they want to blend in, live like a local, and write a book about it

So the quality women think hmmm... I won’t get an upgrade or free shit from this Gringo. He doesn’t even want to game me beyond a few texts.

Meh, next.

Since the crisis I’ve gotten messages from women who I matched in various cities around mexico. They’ve lost their job. They do some investigating to see if I’ll support them.

Previously most were busy with work and ignored a dozen or more of my texts before finally meeting. Others didn’t show up for dates at all.

Or finally showed up and were nothing special and quite standard boring overgrown children types. By which time I already lost respect for them anyway based on their disregard and rudeness.

They’re slightly more responsive now. But still all the same attitude problems. Same societal problems. There’s no reason to date them. They’re pretty much fodder for my books.

They’ll just torture you and give little to nothing in return besides their body (which is always too chubby for me—even the flaca girls that other RVFers saw pics of and said they’d kill for).

You’d think they’d use this time to get skinny and workout. That’s what I did. I’m hot now.

Or learn better English, guitar, golf, surfing. Again that’s what I did this year. Nope. They have smartphones that need love and cradling. Hold it and stare into your phones eyes as if it’s a little baby. Yes that’s what I like to see in the women I court. Wonderful!

Nope. Self-improvement is not their agenda. Mexico did add warning labels to food for excess calories, sugar, fat, and sodium. Time will tell if it shifts public awareness and responsibility in this nation of fat pigs.

Not picking on Mexico. USA same thing. Fatties dropping dead of covid means we all have to stay home forever. God forbid they diet and exercise. It’s all about the vaccine at this point. My hero!

Those formerly employed and busy women also got mad that I turned down hookups they were expecting. It’s strange to see women get angry and feel rejected for not getting sex. They try to tell me our problem was language or something.

I tell them no. You’re just too wrapped up in yourself to be a worthwhile investment. You’re not even a particularly nice person to interact with. That really gets them angered and defensive. They attack back telling me I have an ego issue blah blah.

Before I’m honest I will go back and forth to see what’s going on with them. Most Mexican women in this position hint about money but don’t directly ask. They make you offer by bringing up transportation costs, their low bank account, the distance, and blah blah.

They did all this economic manipulation before too. There’s been a slight uptick in the past year because they can’t even afford their own Starbucks. But honestly Covid has not made that much of a difference in the middle class and informal economy.

Girls working in tourism have been effected. But most tourism girls are pretty fat and ugly anyway so I don’t deal with them.

Most of these girls live at home. Their lives are boring af. They’re just sitting around the beach most of the time anyway.
They don’t spend much money on their lifestyle. That’s why countries like Mexico still have underdeveloped economies...

The economic crisis hasn’t necessarily added a bunch of whores to the roster. The girls who were whoring before covid are still whoring.

The ones unemployed and at home are still hoping to get a job or boyfriend to cover the gap. Many went back to school since it’s basically free here. They don’t want to Whore outright (which I’d respect more than their money for torture game).

So it’s just added another level of confusion and indirect manipulation to interacting with them. No thanks.

So sad to watch them behave. They hop on my social media to neg me publicly. They’re really confused and counterproductive about how to get a man to take care of them.

One recently texted me “I’m a good person and so are you. Blah blah”. I replied “You think you’re a good person? Wow.”

Theyre used to acting with impunity. Most just continue to live at home with parents. Their smartphone addiction sustains them through these boring days of unemployment and lack of sumo boyfriends with less money to spend on them.

Most of them are post wall anyway. God speed.

At least when asset bubbles burst the assets with good fundamentals become undervalued and it’s a buying opportunity.

When the broken af human capital bubbles bursts you’re still left with a bunch of foul mouthed lazy fat asses that massively overvalue themselves, live at home, and go back to school.

They’re less valuable then when they had a job and not even assets if they ever were. An asset puts money in your pocket.

These women are liabilities. They take money out of your pocket. Distraction. Manipulation. Personal attacks. Then they double down on it when times are lean. Wow!

I’m wondering if I should learn Chinese or keep going with Spanish. I really see no point in learning Spanish. It’s so demotivating to interact with anyone in Spanish. All the educated worthwhile people speak English.

I guess it might be worthwhile in a poorer country in Central America. But other guys have warned me about going there. It’s even worse in terms of shithole stuff like crime.
Sounds like you should move to Asia, where the women are higher quality on average. Slim, pleasant, money conscious, and intelligent describes many of these feminine women, especially in certain parts of East Asia. Just watch out for the cunning ones, and you should be golden.

Trying to find a quality woman in Mexico frankly sounds like a pain in the arse. Best case scenario you're still going to be nuking your kid's genetic potential. Highly recommend you move East, if possible.
 

infowarrior1

Hummingbird
Sorry, I mistakenly gave you a Like for your comment when I was trying reply to it. Now I see it disappeared so I don't know what is going on with that. I do not agree with your sentiment because the Bible says God will judge fornicators and adulterers. If someone has forsaken that lifestyle then there is God's forgiveness and no judgement. The same grace applies to homosexuality. God is gracious but will not be mocked.

I suffered through 30 years of unwanted singleness and all that goes with it before marrying at 53. I didn't want to wait and wait only to give in.

And casual sex is NOT great. That is a deception. It fulfills no one and the motive is wrong. Married sex is the only safe place that God actually warns us not to avoid when we are married. We must have sex...in marriage...for the other person. That is a completely different dynamic than casual sex.

Casual sex is a mirage and you must give up on that, and not because I said to, because God commands you to. Most of us will suffer that way. It is better to be married.

Casual Sex is the junk food of sex. Marriage is fine well cooked healthy food by comparison.

It seems like a fitting analogy that seem inbuilt into the Telos of the Universe.

Drugs cause an instant high but over time utterly destroys the body. While legitimate activities also cause effects that are drug-like but the body benefits like drinking water when thirsty.
 
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DeusLuxMeaEst

Pelican
Gold Member
I do feel the need to share my last relationship, as it gave purpose to my dating hiatus.

I'd stopped regularly looking for dates in about 2016, with a significant slowdown before then - I was just burned out and done with the game. I found traditionalist Catholicism in summer 2017, and within a month, her. We met at a group lunch at one of those Brazilian steakhouses, and clearly hit it off - I noticed most of the way through our conversation that most people had left the table to give us some space.

Soon after we began dating. I wasn't too excited to date her but was inclined to give her a shot as she was so excited (I've always been shallow concerning women, and she wasn't quite hot enough - major problem there). A few red flags began popping up right after, though, and made me realize I wanted out. She was about three years older than me, and well into the first half of her thirties. She was VERY affectionate and into public affection displays, when I almost always have had to be the one to cross that line first - I felt rushed. She also had just gotten out of a relationship with a borderline criminal single father, and found her way back into trad Catholicism immediately afterward. I thought, um, so you decided to go boyfriend shopping for stable men because you sense your time is running out?

I dumped her about a month into the relationship, because I decided that I could do better - and that someone like this was likely going to be my best bet in the future if I didn't straighten up and fly right. I've since, though, been afraid to date. Even though she was wrong in thinking that I was an easy mark, I had to have been displaying some personality traits that made her think so.

She ended up marrying an Arab. (As he was from Casablanca, where I have in fact lived, I can definitely say that there are no Arab Christians from that part of the world - so she abandoned Christianity in her quest for a husband, true to what I'd assumed.)

Interesting take. I think it's important to be on the lookout for these types. I've had conversations with some women who found trad Catholicism who claimed to have gone through a full conversion.

I have no problem with this...if they truly have repented. Unfortunately, the ones I've spoken to just went through the motions while continuing to sin and dress provocatively.

As for the PDA if she was Brazilian (wasn't sure from the post) they are just passionate women. A more conservative one probably wouldn't.
 

stugatz

Pelican
Interesting take. I think it's important to be on the lookout for these types. I've had conversations with some women who found trad Catholicism who claimed to have gone through a full conversion.

I have no problem with this...if they truly have repented. Unfortunately, the ones I've spoken to just went through the motions while continuing to sin and dress provocatively.

As for the PDA if she was Brazilian (wasn't sure from the post) they are just passionate women. A more conservative one probably wouldn't.
Nah, just your typical suburban Midwestern white mutt. The Catholic group I was involved in went to lunch at that Brazilian place (it was one of those Fogo de Chão type places, where they bring you unlimited servings of meat if you have the dial on your table turned to the "go" setting).

I'm very grateful overall to have had the experience with her - but she was a genuinely nice person who was just desperate to find a man. If this was my experience with a decent person, what could a bad woman do to me? So you all understand why I've continued my break for now.
 

Elipe

Kingfisher
That's why I always thought marriage is not for me, how could I spend my days always in a presence of another person(s)?
I'm a married introvert who married an introverted woman. We can't get enough of each other, but we'll get exhausted by other people. I think it's more because we're introverted together. We do stuff introverts do, but together, and we still give each other plenty of alone time.

It's worked out pretty well, but YMMV.
 

GWYW2015

Woodpecker
I'm a married introvert who married an introverted woman. We can't get enough of each other, but we'll get exhausted by other people. I think it's more because we're introverted together. We do stuff introverts do, but together, and we still give each other plenty of alone time.

It's worked out pretty well, but YMMV.
I can relate to you.
 
The problem I frequently run into in Asia is the “single” women of decent quality are usually already fucking around with at least one other expat.

Or they’ve just gotten out of a long term relationship with another expat. Supported for 3,5,7 years then dropped when they approached the wall.

Now they’re looking for a new sponsor/boyfriend but didn’t change the behaviors that got them dumped. Usually they are too difficult and annoying for cohabitation.

The good ones play hard to get and when I’ve met them felt like they were little different than a spoiled and jaded western woman. They also massively overvalue themselves and don’t want to do much more than be arm candy. I felt like I was better off sugaring. So passed.

The best option for a stable long term relationship honestly seemed like the SEA pets.

My friend came up with this term for the easy girls who can love just about any man who gives them attention. Like a dog or cat.

But the pet women are jealous, needy, and usually fairly low quality. The attraction usually isn’t there for me to commit long term.

Other 30s high value, attractive men have mentioned this too. Wonder if someone has found a way around it?

For me to settle down I’d like at least a 7.5. Preferably a solid 8 if I’m paying 100% and dealing with immaturity.

It seems nearly impossible to get a 7.5 in many parts of Asian now without a major investment. Literally. Like plunking $100k into a bank account to get a visa, getting fluent, proper long term apartment, 6 months of courting, etc.

Coronavirus has me thinking hard about which country I should invest in. I think that’s more important than the woman. Picking one country like Japan or Thailand.

It sounds like at least one guy here married a southeast Asian pet. I feel like I’ll have to be in my 50s before I can bite that bullet, but that’s probably my fate.

So was the Pinay a 6 or lower? How old? I went on a hundred dates in Manila and only one I wanted to see again was another foreigner (professional Chinese woman in late 20s, skinny fat). She was too busy with work for anything besides fun despite falling in love with me.

I’m still wondering how I can get an educated skinny attractive Asian 7.5 for a world traveling relationship. Or if that’s delusional.?

I tried here in Mexico with a 22 7.5 Mexican. Dated for 6 months and had to send her home from our first trip after two weeks. Such bad behavior like not even bathing so she could play on her phone.

Tried again in Mexico with a 30 year old Taiwanese 7 who cried every day. She’d been pumped and dumped by a Guatemalan. Wasn’t over it after a year.

I know I need to source in Asia. But I’m kinda disgusted at this point. All the Asian countries have been poisoned by instagram and expats running harems.

Maybe I can meet an 18 year old girl who came of age in Covid and hasn’t ridden the cock carousel to 10 different countries by the time I meet her.

Pray for me, please.
 
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The problem I frequently run into in Asia is the “single” women of decent quality are usually already fucking around with at least one other expat.

The good ones play hard to get and when I’ve met them felt like they were little different than a spoiled and jaded western woman. They also massively overvalue themselves and don’t want to do much more than be arm candy. I felt like I was better off sugaring. So passed.

The best option for a stable long term relationship honestly seemed like the SEA pets.

My friend came up with this term for the easy girls who can love just about any man who gives them attention. Like a dog or cat.

But the pet women are jealous, needy, and usually fairly low quality. The attraction usually isn’t there for me to commit long term.

Other 30s high value, attractive men have mentioned this too. Wonder if someone has found a way around it?

For me to settle down I’d like at least a 7.5. Preferably a solid 8 if I’m paying 100% and dealing with immaturity.

It seems nearly impossible to get a 7.5 in many parts of Asian now without a major investment. Literally. Like plunking $100k into a bank account to get a visa, getting fluent, proper long term apartment, 6 months of courting, etc.

Coronavirus has me thinking hard about which country I should invest in. I think that’s more important than the woman. Picking one country like Japan or Thailand.

It sounds like at least one guy here married a southeast Asian pet. I feel like I’ll have to be in my 50s before I can bite that bullet, but that’s probably my fate.

I’m still wondering how I can get an educated skinny attractive Asian 7.5 for a world traveling relationship. Or if that’s delusional.?

I tried here in Mexico with a 22 7.5 Mexican. Dated for 6 months and had to send her home from our first trip after two weeks. Such bad behavior like not even bathing so she could play on her phone.

Tried again in Mexico with a 30 year old Taiwanese 7 who cried every day. She’d been pumped and dumped by a Guatemalan. Wasn’t over it after a year.

I know I need to source in Asia. But I’m kinda disgusted at this point. All the Asian countries have been poisoned by instagram and expats running harems.

Maybe I can meet an 18 year old girl who came of age in Covid and hasn’t ridden the cock carousel to 10 different countries by the time I meet her.

Pray for me, please.
The thing with Asians though, no matter which country, and no matter how much the girl or her family will claim you are one of their family, the thing is you will never truly considered "of the family" behind closed doors. The other thing is Asians notoriously do not have the same cognitive response to emotion or environment, which every other race on earth does. This means that they are much mechanical, methodical and calculating at all times in their interactions, and they are very fast. The women in those countries are extremely crafty on managing multiple Men at a time and making sure all timing, communication and situations are maintained in the most compartmentalized manner. A lot of Asians also have psychic abilities, so they can even know what you're thinking. Just saying, because they are a very very different Species by Race, and with many mystical secrets and skills that are either not common or completely unknown in the Western World. It's so easy to get taken advantage of. Another thing - and this is just my belief - is that I do not think Asian women are capable of real romantic love. I don't think it's in their genetics or culture, but they can surely try to emulate it.
 
Yeah they’re not that crafty. I can tell immediately or even BEFORE by checking her social media. Not my first rodeo.

The problem is trying to talk to them about it. Face is important. They basically lie to each other about these things to save face.

I usually tell them I know and will drop it because I’m a guest in another culture. But they’re ruining their chance of being taken seriously. Then they’re crushed when I dump them.

Several times these girls have married the other expat. Some girls were as young as 22. Other as old as 30s.

They told me they didn’t love these guys. They weren’t even physically attracted to them.

Marriage to them is a business. The marriage market in Shanghia didn’t even have photos. Just a list of statistics mostly about education and money.

These Asian girls all contact me around Valentine’s Day or when they attend weddings and get romantic. They’re sneaky as fuck with fake instas.

The top two ways for them to initiate contact is to follow then unfollow me so I get a notification and can message them. Or to like a post I made so I can message them.

Then they can deny contacting me. Blame it all on me. Laughable. Like children.

It’s really sad and pathetic. Their sponsor/husbands lose their minds that even after having kids together these 6.5-7.5 Asian women are hoping for more.

The Jap and Korean women seem to move on easier. They almost never do this sly shit. But the SEA pets continue it year after year. Even as new mothers.

Crazy.

Pray for them.
 
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belchmech

Sparrow
Another thing to keep in mind with asia, there is what I term the "inner" orient (China, Korea, Japan) and the "outer" orient (Philippines, Indonesia, Mongolia, Vietnam, Myanmar, Thailand and I'm prolly forgetting a few others). You'll note that it gets less cold and formal the farther from the inner orient you go (with the exception of Mongolia, welcome to the great asian-russian genetic blender).

A wrinkle in this though is that many make the mistake of hiding out in the great urban centers, you want to go somewhere where you the gringo ain't an everyday sight (and this somewhere needs to be a place you can settle down). Settle down in this place, take you time and find yourself the broad you seek. Whatever you do don't take her back to the West, she'll only stay "domesticated" so long as she lives in a region where a thousand other jealous females want what she has.
 

GWYW2015

Woodpecker
Another thing to keep in mind with asia, there is what I term the "inner" orient (China, Korea, Japan) and the "outer" orient (Philippines, Indonesia, Mongolia, Vietnam, Myanmar, Thailand and I'm prolly forgetting a few others). You'll note that it gets less cold and formal the farther from the inner orient you go (with the exception of Mongolia, welcome to the great asian-russian genetic blender).

A wrinkle in this though is that many make the mistake of hiding out in the great urban centers, you want to go somewhere where you the gringo ain't an everyday sight (and this somewhere needs to be a place you can settle down). Settle down in this place, take you time and find yourself the broad you seek. Whatever you do don't take her back to the West, she'll only stay "domesticated" so long as she lives in a region where a thousand other jealous females want what she has.
My younger Filipina wife and I will be married six years this May. She has been here since Januray of 2016 and works full time.
She hasn't changed much because she doesn't want to. She knows what I appreciate and don't about behavior of women in America and doesn't like it either.
We just got back watching a child of a Fil-Am couple here in a homeschool group presentation and we both loved it. We like doing simple things and enjoy watching good wholesome movies with their family.
I doubt a woman changes if she is against what she would be changing to.
She is my very best friend and I don't have to worry about her being wrongly influenced. This "becoming Americanized" is not a thing for everyone.
 

GWYW2015

Woodpecker
The thing with Asians though, no matter which country, and no matter how much the girl or her family will claim you are one of their family, the thing is you will never truly considered "of the family" behind closed doors. The other thing is Asians notoriously do not have the same cognitive response to emotion or environment, which every other race on earth does. This means that they are much mechanical, methodical and calculating at all times in their interactions, and they are very fast. The women in those countries are extremely crafty on managing multiple Men at a time and making sure all timing, communication and situations are maintained in the most compartmentalized manner. A lot of Asians also have psychic abilities, so they can even know what you're thinking. Just saying, because they are a very very different Species by Race, and with many mystical secrets and skills that are either not common or completely unknown in the Western World. It's so easy to get taken advantage of. Another thing - and this is just my belief - is that I do not think Asian women are capable of real romantic love. I don't think it's in their genetics or culture, but they can surely try to emulate it.
Filipinas still make great wives and likely will for a long time yet. Speaking from experience.
 
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