Have any of you given up on women?

griffinmill

Kingfisher
No gym sucks bigtime, but if you're furloughed right now please use the time to get fit however you can - pushups and whatnot, work muscular endurance, etc. Very sorry that this is, unsurprisingly, affecting your business, too. Can you pivot somehow?

Hey man, thanks for your concern. I have been trying to pivot by adding a few skills to the set. It hasn't been easy though. My business is one of the ones that has been most effected by Covid as it relies on large groups of people meeting. As for exercise, I've been going consistently on long hikes. Thankfully the gyms are reopening on Friday.
 
The difference between loneliness and living with a parasitic woman is like the difference between sadness and depression.

Sadness comes and goes, it's sharp and instant but eventually goes away.


Depression? nothingness, silence, just a lingering pain ..
you no longer enjoy what you like or even get upset about anything ..
Apart from hooking up with a Thai woman at 28 & a Scottish woman at 30, I've been single all my life. (42/m/UK). I was a late physical bloomer (mistaken for a thin teen boy until 26-7) and so all the bullying and shunning I got in my college, uni and mid 20's life took its toll on me physcologically. It's why I dropped out after 1 year at uni. But I learnt the blackpill/redpill from my experiences, that without physical looks you are second class shit to women or a puppet at best. We fall behind in development.

I really struggle with depression. I have anhedonia (lack of interest in pursuits/hobbies that once gave you pleasure). Since I lost my job (warehouse) from covid I really struggle to do anything other than shitpost on forums, cook an evening meal, the occasional darts game and reading. I have a home gym rack FFS and I feel guilty reading others here not having access to their local gym. But I can't find the motivation to do a 10 week workout. I need to scrub off 12 pounds.

Am I on my last legs? Suicide ideation is on my mind all the time.
 
I'm 30 so obviously not at the level of a 40 year old in his prime, but single women over 25 are not really any more mature than the 18-25 year olds. A 20 year old Christian girl is also a lot easier to be around than a 20 year old Instagram thot.

A 40 year old man in his prime would be crazy to commit to a used up woman.

Eh, what? Why do so many men here have the idea that a man is in his SMV prime when he is 40 years old?
That is just a bunch of cope and a belief that will not benefit you.

No, your chance of landing a hot 20-year-old who hasn't been on the carousel is significantly smaller at 40 than it is at 30, 25 and at 20.


 

Sinabelus

Pigeon
Eh, what? Why do so many men here have the idea that a man is in his SMV prime when he is 40 years old?
That is just a bunch of cope and a belief that will not benefit you.

No, your chance of landing a hot 20-year-old who hasn't been on the carousel is significantly smaller at 40 than it is at 30, 25 and at 20.


I am of the same belief, and this is seriously taking its toll on me as I am 22 and I have trouble even imagining how I would met a decent woman ever. In my traditionalist church every woman is old and newcomers are rare and usually don't stay. I am afraid of being forced into MGTOW and ending up having to cope with no family.
 

Blade Runner

Pelican
No, your chance of landing a hot 20-year-old who hasn't been on the carousel is significantly smaller at 40 than it is at 30, 25 and at 20.
True, but the more pathetic thing is that it is only significant in terms of relative risk; the absolute chance of meeting non carousel is still low, since we're actually talking about an already small subset of actually attractive women.

The issue for the 35-48 year old man is far more a question of where or how do you meet them as opposed to them being against it. Where and how is slightly mixed with the cultural shaming of age gaps, though technically they are discretely different things.
 

kel

Ostrich
I am of the same belief, and this is seriously taking its toll on me as I am 22 and I have trouble even imagining how I would met a decent woman ever. In my traditionalist church every woman is old and newcomers are rare and usually don't stay. I am afraid of being forced into MGTOW and ending up having to cope with no family.
You've got a long way to go, don't panic too much yet. Focus on getting yourself together. Pursuant to this discussion, I'm not saying "men peak at 40" or any of that kind of cope, but 22 is unambiguously young. Make bank as best you can (without falling into the endless ladder climbing trap), get fit, build a healthy community of go-getters around you, and don't give any serious concern to women for a few years. My advice, at least.
 

Sinabelus

Pigeon
Have you considered a vocation?
You mean becoming a priest? That's not for me, I want a family too much.
You've got a long way to go, don't panic too much yet. Focus on getting yourself together. Pursuant to this discussion, I'm not saying "men peak at 40" or any of that kind of cope, but 22 is unambiguously young. Make bank as best you can (without falling into the endless ladder climbing trap), get fit, build a healthy community of go-getters around you, and don't give any serious concern to women for a few years. My advice, at least.
Thanks, that's what I think too but I can't help but think so far ahead and be stressed about it lol. I'm about to begin working with a degree (a bachelor ? idk, 3 years after high school) and I hope I won't get caught in the grind too much.
 

Joe316

Robin
Eh, what? Why do so many men here have the idea that a man is in his SMV prime when he is 40 years old?
That is just a bunch of cope and a belief that will not benefit you.

No, your chance of landing a hot 20-year-old who hasn't been on the carousel is significantly smaller at 40 than it is at 30, 25 and at 20.

A "hot 20-years old" isn't useful for anything exception fornication. The age bracket for marriage in the West is 25-29 for women and 30-34 for men, leading to an average age gap of five years. All these age metrics are of course steadily increasing decade per decade. Western men now have their first child at age 36 on average.

So a 40 years old man is just a few years behind the curve, but if he has his shit together, he is probably a better version than his 30 years old self. He is not going to pull 20 years old college girls for fornication, but that's usually not a goal settled 40 years old men have anyway. He is obviously not going to waste another decade inside a fornication relationship before closing the deal.

So the matter is just to be sure about what you want, where to look for it and not exercising theories about pure virgin unicorns waiting for leftover dads. Also don't get confused by the media (including PUAs) portraying teenage romance - marriage has nothing to do with hat.
 

Aboulia

Woodpecker
Apart from hooking up with a Thai woman at 28 & a Scottish woman at 30, I've been single all my life. (42/m/UK). I was a late physical bloomer (mistaken for a thin teen boy until 26-7) and so all the bullying and shunning I got in my college, uni and mid 20's life took its toll on me physcologically. It's why I dropped out after 1 year at uni. But I learnt the blackpill/redpill from my experiences, that without physical looks you are second class shit to women or a puppet at best. We fall behind in development.

I really struggle with depression. I have anhedonia (lack of interest in pursuits/hobbies that once gave you pleasure). Since I lost my job (warehouse) from covid I really struggle to do anything other than shitpost on forums, cook an evening meal, the occasional darts game and reading. I have a home gym rack FFS and I feel guilty reading others here not having access to their local gym. But I can't find the motivation to do a 10 week workout. I need to scrub off 12 pounds.

Am I on my last legs? Suicide ideation is on my mind all the time.

"Anhedonia" is not a real condition, it's an aspect of reality, because pleasure in itself is empty, there's no telos to it, it sucks you into a bottomless abyss, and makes you weaker as a person. It's why in the story of Pinocchio the boys that pursue pleasure end up being turned into donkeys and sold as slaves to the salt mine. Forum shitposting is part of the problem, for it creates a negative feedback loop, that draws you further into depression, it may feel like it alleviates some of the burden at the time, but makes your outlook more negative. Your negativity very well may end up eating you alive if you don't overcome it.

Finding the motivation to do a "10 week workout" isn't the problem. You hold a belief that you should do it, otherwise you wouldn't say you "need" to scrub off 12 pounds. Find the reason why you need to do things, write it down, and constantly remind yourself. You're either building yourself up with constant vigilance and self improvement, or you're letting yourself die. Material reality is unstable, and constantly changing.

I don't know how exactly to help you, but suicide is not an end, for you don't end up killing your soul, it lives on, and experiences the pain of a life given up on. I was once at the edge of suicide, for everything seemed meaningless, then I caught an illness and life support was the only thing keeping me alive. I had crazy dreams where I was dead, for I had given up on life, my mother was pleading with doctors to do everything they could to resusitate me, popping pills for anxiety, puking them up, then starting to re-eat the puked up pills once she ran out of pills, and the weight of my conscience was entirely torturous the whole time. This is what hell is like. It's regret experienced for eternity.

For me, the path out of the destructive mindset involved becoming a Christian, for I read the Gospels for the first time in my bed while I was recovering in the hospital, couldn't think of a higher ideal than what Jesus Christ embodied, and now I aim at that ideal, although very poorly.

Maybe you'll find these magazines interesting, it was created by a bunch of men who were in the punk scene, who were dissatisfied with the emptiness of life, and ended up finding Orthodoxy.

http://www.desertwisdom.org/dttw/links/index.html
 

Gremlin

Robin
I recently watched The Deer Hunter all the way through for the first time.

After skimming over the last depressing page of this thread, a question popped into my head. It's centered around the scene when Christopher Walken's character rejects the Vietnamese prostitute's sexual advances because of her crying baby in the same room. I thought about the prostitute living in a shanty hell hole in a war torn third world, who doesn't know the father of her probably unwanted baby, and her awful profession, and a thought occurred to me: That girl despite her crummy life will probable have more contentment in the long run than the unmarried, childless, spoiled, cubicle chained American girl who goes through life empty and soulless, even during her peak beauty and the dozens of nameless dicks.

Who's going to be more content later in life?

The prostitute who fulfilled her biological role, creating a life that will support her in old age, while forced to mature in a hard world, or the so-called empowered brat that will experience a degree of loneliness that's unknown to most or all men?
 

Blade Runner

Pelican
Perhaps there is a slightly better thread for this, but I didn't want to put it in the Europe dating app one. Recently I overheard some 30s-40s women lamenting how bad online dating/apps were. I'll cut to the chase - they rightly realize it is a setup for failure, but get the reason why:

The person I heard speaking said that 5% (? some low percentage, not 20% though) of the men get all the attention, so there is no shot for women to find someone reasonable - these desired ones get lost in all the messages. The fact that this may be true in some way does not take away from the fact that these aging women believe that they should have a shot at the upper 5%, and I can only guess at what age ranges they select for in the first place. So, instead of focusing on the fact that they get crazy attention (this is how their brains work at this stage) from all sorts of men, they brush that off and lament that there is no quality. Of course, they would never get a relationship from the 5%, I bet barely even a pump and dump, to be honest. I would bet they have no clue that most men don't even get matches, let alone selecting for people out of their league. I smiled when I realized that point of view (and not understanding how it is for men, which of course is obvious to us since we think about the entirety of the situation) is absolutely everything, and what's more, selective point of view shows you the blinders most have on in society, the foremost of them being women.

But at least they realized that online was a rotten game half-way buried at this point - what a world we live in.
 

ball dont lie

Kingfisher
Gold Member
I use FB for some local hobby groups that will not leave. If I want to be a part of the group, FB is used.

So I still use it and liked the local papers around here, which is a rural Midwest area.

Recently the local high schools have been winning contests and show pictures of all the juniors and seniors - the girls look like they are 30 already. I'm sure up close you can see that their skin is a bit nicer than someone in their 30s, but their faces look off and they are built like refrigerators. At work there was a girl I saw that looked pretty good, but she is apparently a high school senior doing job shadowing. I thought she might be late 20s or 30.

For guys in the USA - the % of women that look good, are single, dont already have kids, are not crazy - its very low.

In the Church is feminine thread I talked about how I went to an evangelical wedding with a lot of women - men mostly married down and the women openly criticized their husbands. Plus they openly talked about being dog moms and not wanting kids, or 'sometime later'.

I lived in Asia for a long time, most of my adult years - the west is like a video game on 'insane hyper death' level of difficulty. Good luck hunting out there, but remember, its not you, its them.
 

Joe316

Robin
The person I heard speaking said that 5% (? some low percentage, not 20% though) of the men get all the attention, so there is no shot for women to find someone reasonable - these desired ones get lost in all the messages. The fact that this may be true in some way does not take away from the fact that these aging women believe that they should have a shot at the upper 5%, and I can only guess at what age ranges they select for in the first place.

Everyone wants to date up. 30s-40s women want to pull a younger guy in his 20s or a wealthy guy their age ready to start a family, while 40s men want to date 18-24. The sense of "match" has been lost completely.

All western women need to do, if they're single mom territory age-wise (even without kids), go for an older single dad. They are plenty with a 50 % divorce rate. Many are done completely with women, but some still enjoy company.

All the older single men need to do, is look in the small age window where western women are ready to settle down (somewhere mid to late 20s, when they are about to enter the job market). Not "college girls wanna have fun" (too early), but also not 30s single mums (too late). He doesn't look for being her first boyfriend, but also doesn't look for picking up scraps of failed marriages. Instead he aims at being her first (and last) "serious relationship" and make it work (so she doesn't end up single mum as well).
 

Blade Runner

Pelican
All the older single men need to do, is look in the small age window where western women are ready to settle down (somewhere mid to late 20s, when they are about to enter the job market). Not "college girls wanna have fun" (too early), but also not 30s single mums (too late). He doesn't look for being her first boyfriend, but also doesn't look for picking up scraps of failed marriages. Instead he aims at being her first (and last) "serious relationship" and make it work (so she doesn't end up single mum as well).
This is largely solid advice, just being practical. The occasions on which to meet the younger girls at this point in America, especially, are almost nil since even religious people will look at you sideways if you are late 30s and trying to date their 25 year old (or younger) daughter. Remember, they've got career-ing to do!

My main criticism of this advice would only be that finding the kind of numbers to get a decent match is another type of lotto. In cultures where lack of economic resources is common, people grow up with traits that improve or accentuate complementarity or cooperation, not picky and entitled attitudes. I really think that the delayed window for women pushed by the society (post puberty physically they are ready, except legally and socially this is a no-no) destroys their rapidly diminishing stock, with too many carbs/processed foods/alcohol all around and so few actually exercising. The few that do exercise either take androgens or are so IG heavy, the looks are ruined.
 
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