Have any of you given up on women?

Parmesan

Pigeon
Yeah, MGTOW is a solution for some. Those that decided wife and kids are not what they want anymore because who needs kids to be hitting eighteen and college at the time you're wanting to retire. Too late for moi, good luck to those wanting that still.
Don’t buy into the liberal worldview that kids need to goto college. Raise your kids to be relatively independent by 18, and educate themselves. At the current trajectory, colleges will likely have completely destroyed themselves by then anyway.
 

Parmesan

Pigeon
Even girls who sling coffee and have 4 roommates will have "attitudes" and insist upon game. Not all, of course, but that's what I saw 20 years ago and I hear things got worse and not better recently. There are blogs that laugh at the delusional nature of American women (google "where have all the good men gone reddit".
You can blame Universities for giving both women and men inflated sense of worth and entitlement. College is basically X amount of years of pretending to be a high value careerist without actually accomplishing anything. 20 years ago every woman viewed herself as a potential high earning white collar professional, and now with smartphones and social media they all basically view themselves as celebrities to boot.
 
I have no plans to persue women anymore. My whole dating life has been an abysmal failure to be honest. I had my one and only real relationship at 50. She moved on because I bring nothing to the table. I make a very meager lving as a musician and constantly struggle with money. I basically live the life of a broke college kid in my 50's. Then add that I'm short, not attractive and balding and it's not a good package.

It's not that I wouldn't want someone but anyone I would want could do better. No sense being shot down and laughed at anymore.
PM me, we should talk
 

clutch

Pigeon
Finally, how many men have said "I shouldn't have had children so young" or "I was too immature to be a parent" etc. It will never be the right time to get married and have a family. MGTOW is only a solution when you have exhausted all of your options!

This. A while back I was listening to an interview with Ice-T and he discussed having another kid. I'm paraphrasing, but he talked about how much better it was to have a kid at this stage of his life than when he was young and trying to establish himself. He didn't have the time to devote to his kids when he was younger and hustling.

Obviously there are downsides to having kids when you are older, but there are some positives as well. We are still capable of having children when we are older for a reason.
 
This. A while back I was listening to an interview with Ice-T and he discussed having another kid. I'm paraphrasing, but he talked about how much better it was to have a kid at this stage of his life than when he was young and trying to establish himself. He didn't have the time to devote to his kids when he was younger and hustling.

Obviously there are downsides to having kids when you are older, but there are some positives as well. We are still capable of having children when we are older for a reason.
My daughter was born when I was 50. My story (for those interested)

I definitely have a little less energy then when I was younger, but I also "move smarter". When my daughter takes off and runs away, someone said "you aren't going to catch her running like THAT" and I observed that my daughter would run FASTER if I ran faster and possibly fall and hurt herself. I would turn around, my daughter would see me, and stop.

Calm discipline IMO is better than what my younger wife engages in which is dog barking and smothering. I set boundaries and enforce them and don't fret too much and give her an opportunity to learn. My daughter is generally more calm around me than the younger mother.

I read 4 different parenting books before having my daughter and those helped a lot. A few tips such as "rather than get upset, walk away and let them cry it out" helped a lot. I don't feed into my daughter's negative energy.
 
Sure many guys have given up on women. But can you explain this?

What happened? He didn't even try to look for a woman. Yet ended up with one anyway.

Is this guy pulling our leg? Or does this actually happen?
 

Elipe

Pelican
Sure many guys have given up on women. But can you explain this?

What happened? He didn't even try to look for a woman. Yet ended up with one anyway.

Is this guy pulling our leg? Or does this actually happen?
It's funny, this exact sort of thing is how I ended up married. But when I was out and actively looking for a woman, I wasn't getting bites. I had sort of given up on that around the time I met my wife. The circumstances and the unique odds it would have taken for things to work out as they did really convinced me that God was behind it, although I think more as a concession to my sinfulness so that I would have something to ground me back to reality and teach me some responsibility.
 

Maddox

Sparrow
Lately, I've been thinking about all of the good opps that I've blown. Most were because I was trying to "long play" the courting process, and then before I knew it, the girl was gone.

For instance, I met a beautiful young blonde girl at church a few years back. We had a couple of nice convos but I put off getting her number because I thought she was going to be a regular every week. I figured if I waited and had more conversations at church, she'd be more likely to say yes to hanging out.

After the 2nd time we talked, she never came back to that church service. A year later, I saw her FB page and she was married to some guy her own age.

I've slowly come to realize that the "long play" is an unwise tactic when you meet a girl, even at places like church where you expect to see the same girl every week. The next time I get any type of attraction from a girl in church, I'm gonna get her number right then and there.

Meeting women these days is hard enough but there are many times where I'm my own worst enemy.
 

Arcite

Sparrow
Lately, I've been thinking about all of the good opps that I've blown. Most were because I was trying to "long play" the courting process, and then before I knew it, the girl was gone.

For instance, I met a beautiful young blonde girl at church a few years back. We had a couple of nice convos but I put off getting her number because I thought she was going to be a regular every week. I figured if I waited and had more conversations at church, she'd be more likely to say yes to hanging out.

After the 2nd time we talked, she never came back to that church service. A year later, I saw her FB page and she was married to some guy her own age.

I've slowly come to realize that the "long play" is an unwise tactic when you meet a girl, even at places like church where you expect to see the same girl every week. The next time I get any type of attraction from a girl in church, I'm gonna get her number right then and there.

Meeting women these days is hard enough but there are many times where I'm my own worst enemy.
I agree; hate to sound like a PUA but "always be closing" is the right attitude. I've missed so many opportunities in the same way, thinking it's better to take things slow.
 

monsquid

Kingfisher
Lately, I've been thinking about all of the good opps that I've blown. Most were because I was trying to "long play" the courting process, and then before I knew it, the girl was gone.

For instance, I met a beautiful young blonde girl at church a few years back. We had a couple of nice convos but I put off getting her number because I thought she was going to be a regular every week. I figured if I waited and had more conversations at church, she'd be more likely to say yes to hanging out.

After the 2nd time we talked, she never came back to that church service. A year later, I saw her FB page and she was married to some guy her own age.

I've slowly come to realize that the "long play" is an unwise tactic when you meet a girl, even at places like church where you expect to see the same girl every week. The next time I get any type of attraction from a girl in church, I'm gonna get her number right then and there.

Meeting women these days is hard enough but there are many times where I'm my own worst enemy.
Long play made sense when people lived in tight knit communities. But now even church is filled with passing tourists. Obsession with work means people are tired, on work travel, or have to move often for career.

When you meet someone at church they may have every intention of coming back in that moment but come next weekend their lives might have changed. Combine this with younger people with limited attention span and indeterminate priorities, easy to see why people flake — long game doesn’t work.

So, what should you do? I guess it’s best for men to confidently signal intention with as little awkwardness as possible. Easier said than done.
 

Arcite

Sparrow
Long play made sense when people lived in tight knit communities. But now even church is filled with passing tourists. Obsession with work means people are tired, on work travel, or have to move often for career.

When you meet someone at church they may have every intention of coming back in that moment but come next weekend their lives might have changed. Combine this with younger people with limited attention span and indeterminate priorities, easy to see why people flake — long game doesn’t work.

So, what should you do? I guess it’s best for men to confidently signal intention with as little awkwardness as possible. Easier said than done.
This holds true for virtually every setting within our society nowadays. It's just like when you connect with a girl online, you're texting, it's going well, she seems really into you and seems excited to meet, you might even make plans--but not that very evening, since you have to put the conversation on hold and go to bed early to get up for work the next morning. So you bid her goodnight, assuming the two of you will pick right back up where you left off the next day--but when she wakes up in the morning, her mood is totally different and she's got messages from a dozen other guys, and she never responds to you again.

I don't know what to say, other than it really sucks and I don't know what the solution is.
 

NickK

Woodpecker
Orthodox
Sure many guys have given up on women. But can you explain this?

What happened? He didn't even try to look for a woman. Yet ended up with one anyway.

Is this guy pulling our leg? Or does this actually happen?
I used to play strategy games for decades and nothing like this happened to me.
My strategy failed me. Then I stopped playing strategy games and moved to simracing. Still nothing.
 
I was playing strategy games for decades and nothing like this happened to me.
My strategy failed me. Then I stopped playing strategy games and moved to simracing. Still nothing.

Weird. Its like those particular women were hunting for Men and saw a prime target to make Husbands.

I guess if women were determined enough this will be a much more common phenomenon. Otherwise God manages to send certain women certain Men's way like he did with Elipe.
 

Uzisuicide

Kingfisher
Gold Member
I'm kind of close to giving up on women myself. Parted ways with an almost 5 year long relationship with a woman last summer. She became a BLM convert and came home saying "no justice no peace".

I've already had kids and a marriage. My wild oats' have been sown, I have my own money, a home and am approaching 50. I'm not closed off to the idea of another relationship if I can still pair bond. But at this point I don't know what I'd even be looking for in a woman that would be worth the hard work of a relationship.

Women can have major personality and belief system changes well into adulthood. Whereas men are pretty much set in their ways. Risk/reward... I dunno.
 

Maddox

Sparrow
I'm kind of close to giving up on women myself. Parted ways with an almost 5 year long relationship with a woman last summer. She became a BLM convert and came home saying "no justice no peace".

I've already had kids and a marriage. My wild oats' have been sown, I have my own money, a home and am approaching 50. I'm not closed off to the idea of another relationship if I can still pair bond. But at this point I don't know what I'd even be looking for in a woman that would be worth the hard work of a relationship.

Women can have major personality and belief system changes well into adulthood. Whereas men are pretty much set in their ways. Risk/reward... I dunno.

Good lord. A woman like that needs to be put over the knee and have that Commie crap spanked out of her.

Were you constantly fighting about politics and social issues with her, or did you just make the decision to end it when you saw the direction she was taking politically?
 

Uzisuicide

Kingfisher
Gold Member
Were you constantly fighting about politics and social issues with her, or did you just make the decision to end it when you saw the direction she was taking politically?

No, she was pretty much apolitical when we got together in 2015 when we got together. I however was firmly ensconched on the Trump train.

She was from Ethiopia and apparently some of her co-workers got to her after the George Floyd thing. I watched in horror as she become angry, aggressive and mouthy. Toward the end, my youngest son was afraid of her. The left destroyed her/us. While I was at work, she even destroyed things in my house in anger after I kindly said "we need to split up." Then proceeded to call me everything but a white man.

That was a year ago this month and I'm still shaken as I rehearse the ordeal and am not sure I can ever fall in love again as I've mostly closed myself off to the idea for my own safety.

Whatever the Lord has in store for me I'm open to. But I don't think I'll ever be with a black woman again. I've been with four African girls and When push comes to shove they stick to their tribe and not me.

Good luck out there guys.
 

Arcite

Sparrow
I used to play strategy games for decades and nothing like this happened to me.
My strategy failed me. Then I stopped playing strategy games and moved to simracing. Still nothing.
Yeah, I call BS on this. What happened, did a girl randomly knock on his door when he was home alone playing video games? Nothing like this ever happened to me when I was spending my twenties shut inside my apartment alone not socializing.
 
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