Have any of you given up on women?

Zeknichov

 
Banned
Are you sure she won't get corrupted by toxic western culture. That's been the experience with other guys who brought over foreign women to the USA.

Haha, as soon as I read "awaiting her US Embassy Visa Interview" I groaned a little. I work in banking and used to date a family lawyer... I see all the bad that happens with foreign women once you bring them back to the west. The women out west don't suck because of a natural diffienciy, it's an environmental problem and when you bring a foreigner back to the west, you're exposing her to the same problem. I've known Muslims that came here thinking the economic aspect would be great only to complain about how the culture here changed their wives into something much less desirable.

I wish bmw man all the best but I don't think he should be discussing his success story until it's a proven success and bmw man hasn't even passed the hardest huddle yet.
 

fireshark

Woodpecker
Orthodox Inquirer
Brining foreign women to the West depends on so many factors. I've also met plenty of toxic women during my 6 years in Asia. A woman can become toxic anywhere, just as she can be a decent and respectable person anywhere.

If the husband is weak or Godless, and a bad role model and constantly chasing superficial things of the world, she will follow that too, and it doesn't matter what country you live in.
 

GWYW2015

 
Banned
Orthodox
I was in the same boat as you two years ago, then I decided to take a trip overseas....

Went to the Philippines and met a wonderful woman, a devout Catholic RN, never married, no kids, from a good home. Met her online, after weeding my way past some scammers.

We got married December 2019, and are awaiting her US Embassy Visa interview. It is wonderful having such a sweet, caring woman who is so supportive of me. After previous failed marriages to a narcissist, a BPD, and an alcoholic in the US, I never thought I would find such a good woman.

DM me know if you would like to know more.
Same here. Alone for decades, married my Filipina wife very swiftly. Couldn't get anywhere here in the states.
 

GWYW2015

 
Banned
Orthodox
Brining foreign women to the West depends on so many factors. I've also met plenty of toxic women during my 6 years in Asia. A woman can become toxic anywhere, just as she can be a decent and respectable person anywhere.

If the husband is weak or Godless, and a bad role model and constantly chasing superficial things of the world, she will follow that too, and it doesn't matter what country you live in.
I agree. My Filipina wife hasn't been corrupted. I'd like to think part of the reason why is I emphasize to her regularly the things she does and the ways about her that I appreciate.
 

bmw633

Woodpecker
Are you sure she won't get corrupted by toxic western culture? That's been the experience with other guys who brought over foreign women to the USA.
She is almost 33 years old from a Middle Class family. Siblings all have college degrees, mother a Master's Degree in Public Administration. She is hard-wired at this point to have good values. We have spent 24/7 for over a year and a half, and enjoy our companionship. She is very virtuous, and revels in being a good homemaker.

I think the problem is with weak guys with no frame who hook up with some of these poor women with no education, and they are out to take advantage of the man anyway they can. There have been some Expats I have met who are with grifters, and they cannot see they are being used.

I need to return to US for surgery and specialized medical care. But, I may sell out and move back to Philippines permanently if things have become as bad as what I have read.
 
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infowarrior1

Crow
Protestant
She is almost 33 years old from a Middle Class family. Siblings all have college degrees, mother a Master's Degree in Public Administration. She is hard-wired at this point to have good values. We have spent 24/7 for over a year and a half, and enjoy our companionship. She is very virtuous, and revels in being a good homemaker.

I think the problem is with weak guys with no frame who hook up with some of these poor women with no education, and they are out to take advantage of the man anyway they can. There have been some Expats I have met who are with grifters, and they cannot see they are being used.

I need to return to US for surgery and specialized medical care. But, I may sell out and move back to Philippines permanently if things have become as bad as what I have read.

I hope you are right.
 

Chains of Peter

Woodpecker
Catholic
I was in the same boat as you two years ago, then I decided to take a trip overseas....

Went to the Philippines and met a wonderful woman, a devout Catholic RN, never married, no kids, from a good home. Met her online, after weeding my way past some scammers.

We got married December 2019, and are awaiting her US Embassy Visa interview. It is wonderful having such a sweet, caring woman who is so supportive of me. After previous failed marriages to a narcissist, a BPD, and an alcoholic in the US, I never thought I would find such a good woman.

DM me know if you would like to know more.
Tried that route. Not interested. And because I'm Filipino the mystique just isn't there.
 

DeusLuxMeaEst

Pelican
Orthodox Catechumen
Gold Member
I stopped actively pursuing and am attempting to live my life and let God dictate whether I get married or not.

When I was gaming actively, yes I did have sex more but not only was it unfulfilling and sinful, I felt that I was putting in so much effort for absolutely nothing in return.

I think Roosh wrote something like: if you feel like you are putting in tremendous effort and getting nowhere, you are not aligned with God's plan. That's how I felt.

So in a way I guess I don't 'try' much anymore in the classical sense. I'm trying to build a Christian lifestyle and hoping that by doing that a byproduct will be marriage.
 

BlastbeatCasanova

Kingfisher
Not given up, but they are not a priority. Kinda miss my old girlfriend to be honest. She was probably what you would call a unicorn. Feminine, slim, religious and conservative, comes from a delightful family, knows to do and enjoy all household chores, adores children (is a school teacher) ecc.. I remember once we were discussing something and I suggested a certain course of action and she said she will follow her father's advice on the matter. I said something along the lines that she should listen to me to which she replied 'At the moment you're not the most important man of my life, when you wife me I will listen to you.' Damn what a woman. What a fool I've been.
I’m kind of in the same position as you now but honestly I’m not sure what to do. I’ve considered making a post about it but I’m hesitant to throw out my personal struggles on to the forum. She’s high quality in so many ways, a real based chick, JQ aware, definitely a unicorn in today’s pozzed liberal jungle. Even still there are some differences we have that give me pause, and to be honest I don’t know if I could be truly happy with one woman for the rest of my life. Despite the comfort of a relationship with a good woman, a lot of the time I feel like a caged lion.
 

Augustus_Principe

Woodpecker
Even still there are some differences we have that give me pause, and to be honest I don’t know if I could be truly happy with one woman for the rest of my life. Despite the comfort of a relationship with a good woman, a lot of the time I feel like a caged lion.

You think this because you are thinking of marriage in completely secular terms. If you decide to start thinking about marriage in God's terms, ie creating a "little church" at home, bringing glory to God by having children and creating more souls for Him, etc etc, you would not be in this predicament. I do not blame you or any man for this way of thinking with the way modern society is. However, if any of us have any hope in marriage, it is best to start shifting our way of thinking. Best way to do this is to return to Traditional Catholicism.

This book will give you a quick rundown of what marriage means for Christians:

On Marriage and Family Life By St John Chrysostom
 
I haven't actively pursued a woman in several years, but I occasionally entertain the idea of dating when a woman makes the first move or someone introduces me to one. I've had that situation three times in the last year, here's how they went:

1. Dropped an F bomb almost immediately into our first conversation (Strike 1) and then failed to uphold a commitment she'd made (Strikes 2 and 3). She sent me a string of messages many hours afterward, which I deleted without reading because I have zero patience for wasting my time. Instant NEXT.

2. Expressed a lot of interest in the middle of a livestream I was doing on YouTube. I messaged her the next day and we talked for a couple of minutes, then I tested her ability/desire to follow and she clearly communicated that she didn't want to be led. Instant NEXT.

3. A girl with an extremely similar life story to mine, who I was not looking for in any way but has put a lot of effort into making herself a helper to me in the hopes of winning me over. It's working more than I thought it would, and I find myself considering real long-term dating and potentially marriage with her, but I do not know whether marriage is my real vocation in life and I am still trying to discern that before making any big-step commitments. My priest says he could see me either getting married or not, and I feel more or less the same way. Not looking for it, but also not against the idea. I don't know if that's enough, we'll see how things play out and I need to discuss this in much greater depth with said priest.

Also, Scripture and the Church have always taught that those who can bear celibacy should do so for the glory of God, while those who "burn with passion" should get married to avoid the sin of fornication. Both marriage and celibacy are considered a "white martyr" (ie, bloodless) path to salvation.

Thanks for this insight, esp point 3 and on. I also have similar experiences with young 20-30 something year old girls. My problem also includes that they are constantly glued to their phones mid-conversation. It is literally an extension of their body. Frustrating.
 

MichaelWitcoff

Hummingbird
Orthodox
Thanks for this insight, esp point 3 and on. I also have similar experiences with young 20-30 something year old girls. My problem also includes that they are constantly glued to their phones mid-conversation. It is literally an extension of their body. Frustrating.

I went on a date once where the girl was on her phone at lunch. I took the phone away, put it in my pocket, and told her she could have it back after our date. Once the initial shock passed, she seemed twice as attracted to me afterward.
 
I'm 21 and have no idea what on earth I'm supposed to do
Me too, for the most part.

I am a couple years older but would like to get married and start a family. I guess my concern is finding a quality woman, but they are extremely hard to find nowadays and I am unaware of what the right venues (apart of church) would be to find a genuine one.
 

Salocin

Woodpecker
Other Christian
I suppose I'll share my situation.

I am 41 and married with an elementary age child.

However, I have been separated from my wife since November 2016. For the first two years we were still a couple the majority of the time, just living apart. We went to marriage counseling, went on dates, spent a lot of time together. We ended up moving back in together in late 2018.

Roughly a month after our reconciliation, I decided to look at her phone one night I couldn't sleep. I found out some very explicit details of infidelity that had occurred during our separation.

Long story short, while we are still legally married, we have barely spoken for the last two years except for the minimum required when I pick up my child, drop them off, etc.

I pray daily for resolution. I have decided not to file for divorce. If she chooses to do so, I will not object.

So for now I am married, but with an estranged wife. I unfortunately still long for a woman's company, yet believe it would be wrong to date given the circumstances.

I know I sound like a cuck, but given the fact we are married with a child I can not imagine a better outcome than my wife and I coming together again. However, at this point that would truly take a miracle, as in an act of God himself.

So, that's where I am here in 2021. It has not been fun, but the truth is this experience has brought me closer to God. I have always considered myself a Christian, but I now pray and read the Bible like never before. I also see the error of my ways, and how had I prayed to God for guidance at certain moments things may have turned out differently.
 
I suppose I'll share my situation.

I am 41 and married with an elementary age child.

However, I have been separated from my wife since November 2016. For the first two years we were still a couple the majority of the time, just living apart. We went to marriage counseling, went on dates, spent a lot of time together. We ended up moving back in together in late 2018.

Roughly a month after our reconciliation, I decided to look at her phone one night I couldn't sleep. I found out some very explicit details of infidelity that had occurred during our separation.

Long story short, while we are still legally married, we have barely spoken for the last two years except for the minimum required when I pick up my child, drop them off, etc.

I pray daily for resolution. I have decided not to file for divorce. If she chooses to do so, I will not object.

So for now I am married, but with an estranged wife. I unfortunately still long for a woman's company, yet believe it would be wrong to date given the circumstances.

I know I sound like a cuck, but given the fact we are married with a child I can not imagine a better outcome than my wife and I coming together again. However, at this point that would truly take a miracle, as in an act of God himself.

So, that's where I am here in 2021. It has not been fun, but the truth is this experience has brought me closer to God. I have always considered myself a Christian, but I now pray and read the Bible like never before. I also see the error of my ways, and how had I prayed to God for guidance at certain moments things may have turned out differently.

I'm at a loss for words reading this. I've heard similar episodes among others in my work and friendship circles.

Best of luck, sir. I think you are handling it very maturely and that your long-suffering will not go unnoticed in the end.
 
I'm 21 and don't actively pursue women for several reasons. I am an introvert who enjoys the calm of my own company, likes to be intellectually challenged in most things I do, and takes my career and financial life seriously. In relationships, I've always been frustrated with how childish the woman would behave and how uninteresting the interactions would be to me. This is not to bash women, they are who they are. But why would I put myself in a situation I would absolutely not enjoy, and that is more likely to degrade my quality of life than leading to a lasting marriage?

Yes, there is sex. Let's assume you are not religious and would be open to living a life of sexual promiscuity. Even then, would the pleasure you get make up for the effort and risk in today's market? Isn't there anything better to do with your time on Earth?
 

fireshark

Woodpecker
Orthodox Inquirer
I'm 21 and don't actively pursue women for several reasons. I am an introvert who enjoys the calm of my own company, likes to be intellectually challenged in most things I do, and takes my career and financial life seriously. In relationships, I've always been frustrated with how childish the woman would behave and how uninteresting the interactions would be to me. This is not to bash women, they are who they are. But why would I put myself in a situation I would absolutely not enjoy, and that is more likely to degrade my quality of life than leading to a lasting marriage?

You haven't met the right woman. You're 21. You have time. A man should focus on his own development as much as possible until at least 25 anyway. However, you still need to maintain social circles and some kind of fairly regular contact with women so that you don't become too out of practice and clueless on how to handle them. Maintain balance. Don't be a promiscuous PUA type and don't be an "incel." Both are traps and very unhealthy.

The right woman will not degrade your quality of life. She will likely test you and challenge you, but this is part of self-realization and personal growth. You will be pleasantly surprised how your perspective on women will change as you learn to appreciate their finer points and the counterpoint that they bring to your life. (granted they are women of some quality, of course) I do believe that some men weren't meant for marriage, but this is something that you can and should only arrive at after possibly a decade or more of serious effort and experience with women.
 
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