What I realized, being raised by a single mother, is that young men are raised to live like women. Women age 16 - 25 IS the age to go have a but of fun, and maximize your social exposure, for obvious reasons. For men, these are your lowest value adult years, and youthful indulgences should probably be kept to a one night a week type of thing. Most men should pretty much be exclusively be honing themselves, both persoanlly and career wise well into their 20s.I'm happy to see this written here, since it resonates very well with my own experiences. Much of my youth was spent with sinful, vain, and materialistic pursuits, and I invested little into my own skills, ethics, and faith.
As a late-bloomer, I did not learn to use common hand tools or cut grass, let alone garden, until within the last 3-4 years. I was a slovenly NEET for a long time, and now I'm too stunted to talk to women, or even try. For now, at least.
And it's entirely my fault for being so nonchalant in the first place.
I like to tell my younger brother, who is still in his early 20s, not to squander those years -- sadly, it seems it's a part of our culture to be ruthlessly idle, and you know what is (or used to be) said about idle hands.
I’m in my late 30s, and feel incredibly robbed from the misguided pleasure seeking I wasted the entirety of my 20s doing. I wasn’t much if a RVF 1.0er, but I was just general hanging out with friends, going to bars, flying to Miami for a 3 day weekend, etc. I don’t even really remember most of my adventures, not because of drugs or alcohol, but the big picture is that it was all just a waste of time and potential. I ultimately have myself to blame, but our culture is completely backwards in terms of how we assume men should grow and prosper.
My generation also grew up the “experiences over material” mantra, and once again, that is female paradigm. A woman with worldly experiences and exciting hobbies will help put her in the company of higher value men, and engage said men. A man can have those things, but unless you are a starving artist heartthrob or surfer Chad type, you NEED a productive purpose both for your own sanity and the attraction of a decent woman.