Have any of you given up on women?

OP or anyone feeling this: go to Asia. It will solve your problem.

You’ll be like a kid in a candy store again. You’ll find whatever you want with little effort. If you lose it the shelves are fully stocked.

Try again. There’s an endless supply of good women. In the West you’re in near total a scarcity and the quality is poor to mediocre.

Relationships and dating in the West are some of the most complicated in the world. It might not seem that way because they’re so easy to get into with the rise of swipe apps. Yet the endless emptiness of it becomes a huge source of misery and waste for a lot of young people. It’s almost like an addiction/abuse problem.

We are having fun but irrevocably damaging ourselves psychologically. Other people become a disposable commodity with whom we have fun. Then dump when problems arise. Which of course is 100% of the time in any human interaction of substance.

Serial dating really messes up our timelines. If you don’t marry someone by collegish age, you’re setting yourself up for out of sync timelines when you keep dating as a working adult.

Most (but not all) relationships will be doomed from the start because your goals and timelines never quite match up. Then dating becomes little more than a self fulfilling prophecy of fun—but failed—encounters.

It’s not an unreasonable reaction for a middle aged man to reach his limit and walk away. Past age 25 the obesity rate zooms and the good ones are paired off. You’re stuck with the leftovers no one wants.

Hooking up becomes tedious and physically unfulfilling, even if you continue to pull decent quality. I regularly date 18-22 year olds but they’re painfully immature and boring. They’d make someone happy but not me.

Marrying in your early 30s is probably the answer for most men. Earlier or later are too hard for different reasons.

Early 30s is also about the limit for having kids and enjoying being physical with them. As well as avoiding a huge generation gap where you can’t relate to each other because you live in different worlds.

I agree that most men have dropped the ball with their lifestyle, personality, putting up with bad behavior from women. Though it’s not as simple as choosing to be more alpha, leading, muscles, leather coat (laugh), etc. The problems are societal. You’re swinging a bat at the rain.

None of that matters if you’re in a relationship that was doomed from the start because of societal pressures, out of sync timelines, or you really have nothing in common with each other.

I see so many couples with nothing in common. Different timelines, goals, values, etc.

They think they have things in common because they like to do normal human things:
eat food at restaurants
watch Netflix at home
workout at the gym
take vacations to the beach.

It’s laughable. If you live in a Tier I city you could drop them and find a replacement next week.

Even with a really specific hobby like rock climbing, it would be easy to find a partner that’s also into it. Yet the process of pair bonding is so twisted that we choose to placate and stay in bad relationships for too long

The only thing keeping most couples together is the pair bond they’ve made over the dating/relationship.

Usually it’s not that strong and full of problems. Even after a few years.

Both men and women have to focus on school, work, family, etc. The relationship comes last. Both people compromise but it’s not enough

Walking away is problematic because the reality is that you can’t really control your emotions one way or the other.

You’re tired and upset but still lonely and yearning for someone in your life. Yet when you had that it was too problematic to keep.

I can’t see most men being happy unless they’re able to fill that void. But in so doing they’re setting themselves up for torture.

I said in one of my books, “You have two choices. You can either be lonely or annoyed.”

It’s meant to be tongue in cheek. But I’ve found it to be generally true.

The only relationship I had that wasn’t this way was with an older Japanese woman. She was at the upper age range of being physically attractive but being Asian still passed for late 20s. Oddly still bothering me to have kids which I found kinda crazy.

Their cooperative society makes people much more suitable for relationships. They all grow up with one sibling. Therefore not spoiled nor neglected. Parents rarely divorce so the population isn’t totally screwed up like America (50% divorce rate)

I’m very practical oriented in my posts. Rather than dive deeper into the meta side I’ll offer some practical insight from dating in 50+ countries—

**BEFORE YOU GIVE UP GO TO ASIA**

You can probably find whatever you want there. Dating 18-22 year old students or marrying a woman who’s too old for kids but still skinny and appealing in multiple ways.

In general the USA/EU is not worth it over 30. Latam is not worth it over 40. Both have shockingly high rates of single motherhood and divorce. Women’s personalities are severely compromised.

Eastern Europe has a huge societal problem with relationships being transactional but the upside is that huge age gaps are normal or even desired.

Asia is good at any age. Particularly Southeast Asia. Real love is possible and likely. It doesn’t matter if you’re 18 or 80.

I’d encourage any guy of any age who feels like the OP to head to Thailand as it is open now. You can find every option at every age there. True love, marriage, kids. Skinny, educated, feminine women. It’s all on the table in Asia.

Whenever I hear men complaining about this I wish I could get out my prescription pad and write them a plane ticket to Asia. Most likely will solve their problem to some degree.

Certainly far better than staying in the West. Its a societal problem. Unfortunately you’re stuck in a bad society. Nothing you can’t really do but leave.
 
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Don Quixote

Woodpecker
Because time horizons are so limited and our world seems to be sprinting towards hell, it almost feels like women are an impediment to salvation. Anyone else feel the same?
Couldn't have said it better... I definitely had this feeling of urgency, almost like in a flash the previous idea of what my future entailed was just obliterated into smithereens.

However, at the moment I have stopped paying attention to politics or society really, or any of the crazy things that may be in store for us. I'm just trying to focus on living my life one day at a time as if nothing has changed. I live life as if I am a free man who is not being persecuted––I live life according to my own ideal. I assume one day reality will clash with that worldview, and when it does then I will be happy because my understanding of the world will be confirmed.

In the meantime, I am also basically trying to live in the real concrete, tangible world (as opposed to digital––what may be in fact a very dark simulation).
 
They have been put on pause.
Since the moment when all this covid started- very noticeable. I think - fear plus government authority ( replaces husband) and one more thing - nature's program , some may call it - instincts, don't allow them to engage with man, until the "battle" is over, and they can clearly see who is survivor / winner.
 
It's hard enough to find a couple of bros in this world to kick it with once in awhile, most women are lost and degenerate. Especially for those of us in the states. If god wills it then so be it but I have given up game and trying to get a woman. Last date I was on the chick insisted that she split the bill... this was the first time I had experienced something like this and I had been warned that there were alot of women like this out there but this time I got completely caught off guard the girl seemed cool, but wound up to be this goody goody self-righteous feminist type, it was this scenario that made me say it's time to stop for a while.
Isn’t it a good thing if she offers to split the bill, at least at first? What’s the alternative—the “foodie call” type, who may just be dating for a free meal?
 

holgerdanske

Sparrow
Isn’t it a good thing if she offers to split the bill, at least at first? What’s the alternative—the “foodie call” type, who may just be dating for a free meal?
The sheer fact that you are asking this question should give you pause. I may jump to conclusion but is it possible that you were a single parent child?

Splitting the bill can be interpreted in a myriad of ways. Maybe she was just in for a free meal, which is when you should pity her, smile and walk away. You can do better. Or maybe she really really likes you and just tried to be polite. A 5-min conversation with her should have settled that issue for good. The fact that men don't even know the very basics about human relationships and are becoming semi-autistic due to the proliferation of social media and mobile phones is highly disconcerting. Add to that the fact that testosterone levels have been dropping 1% per year for the past half century. Perish the thought that this has nothing to do with rapidly shifting gender roles and attitudes about relationships and marriage.

Like Timbuktube said above: You’re swinging a bat at the rain. I'm an old dog who has lived in many countries and therefore still remembers how halfway functioning society is organized. There is no saving the West - culturally, socially, economically, and politically. It's done for, let's stick a fork in it. The only remaining option is secession or expatriation. Take your pick.
 

Pantheon

Pigeon
Giving up on women is sort of the same thing as giving up on nature. I believe nature is analogous to a person, or a woman. She represents wisdom, and desire to be known by man. Man desires to know himself through her. Men should seek to align their intellect with her will. In this way, the woman is the soul of a man, while the man is the spirit of a woman.

Just as man has grown estranged from woman, modern society has grown estranged from nature. Whether we are talking about religious puritanism or secular materialism, nature is seen as impersonal and empty, like a dead landscape of equal and demystified matter. It's like fearing a woman, objectifying her.

People tend to either avoid or control what they fear or can't come to terms with. Nature is a tough lover and not easy to master. Just like Muslims put her under a veil, the west has given up taming her entirely, putting her in a leash. As a result, we lack in wisdom and self-knowledge.
 
Giving up on women is sort of the same thing as giving up on nature. I believe nature is analogous to a person, or a woman. She represents wisdom, and desire to be known by man. Man desires to know himself through her. Men should seek to align their intellect with her will. In this way, the woman is the soul of a man, while the man is the spirit of a woman.

Just as man has grown estranged from woman, modern society has grown estranged from nature. Whether we are talking about religious puritanism or secular materialism, nature is seen as impersonal and empty, like a dead landscape of equal and demystified matter. It's like fearing a woman, objectifying her.

People tend to either avoid or control what they fear or can't come to terms with. Nature is a tough lover and not easy to master. Just like Muslims put her under a veil, the west has given up taming her entirely, putting her in a leash. As a result, we lack in wisdom and self-knowledge.

I don't have the ability to like (yet), however this summarises it well and articulates similar thoughts I have on the issue.
 
Women will just respond to the values and behaviors of their society. Expecting them to have a strong internal set of values that runs counter to mainstream culture is simply not how it works. So, from a societal perspective, running away doesn’t really accomplish much. The absolute best thing a Western man can do is become extremely wealthy, fit, and desirable and then find a woman who is open to your influence. If Leo DiCaprio decided to become a fundamentalist Muslim and was looking for a harem of women to stay locked up in his house and pump out kids, he’d have a line of women miles long.

Obviously you aren’t DiCaprio and never will be, but even at 0.01% of his wealth or the physique of X male model, you’d be surprised at what women will be willing to do for the right man. I know this site isn’t about game anymore, but the same basic rules of self-improvement still apply. The notion that you’ll find a solid Christian woman by being an average boring guy is nonsense and you best disabuse yourself of the notion.


If that’s too much work for you, just move to Asia. Try Vietnam, Philippines, Taiwan, or non-Tokyo Japan. You will find the average woman leagues above the western one, even if the culture shock makes you question your decision to move.
 

bucky

Ostrich
Women will just respond to the values and behaviors of their society. Expecting them to have a strong internal set of values that runs counter to mainstream culture is simply not how it works. So, from a societal perspective, running away doesn’t really accomplish much. The absolute best thing a Western man can do is become extremely wealthy, fit, and desirable and then find a woman who is open to your influence. If Leo DiCaprio decided to become a fundamentalist Muslim and was looking for a harem of women to stay locked up in his house and pump out kids, he’d have a line of women miles long.

Obviously you aren’t DiCaprio and never will be, but even at 0.01% of his wealth or the physique of X male model, you’d be surprised at what women will be willing to do for the right man. I know this site isn’t about game anymore, but the same basic rules of self-improvement still apply. The notion that you’ll find a solid Christian woman by being an average boring guy is nonsense and you best disabuse yourself of the notion.


If that’s too much work for you, just move to Asia. Try Vietnam, Philippines, Taiwan, or non-Tokyo Japan. You will find the average woman leagues above the western one, even if the culture shock makes you question your decision to move.
Or Latin America. More dangerous than SEA but you have a better shot at finding a Christian woman who's at least white-ish, if that's your thing. Spanish is far easier than any Asian language too.
 
Or Latin America. More dangerous than SEA but you have a better shot at finding a Christian woman who's at least white-ish, if that's your thing. Spanish is far easier than any Asian language too.
I’m skeptical of the “conservatism” of Latin America. Especially Brazil and Argentina, which have a sexual ethic in many ways more open than American liberals. Asia, while not being as strictly Christian, has social values more in line with traditional western ones.
 

bucky

Ostrich
I’m skeptical of the “conservatism” of Latin America. Especially Brazil and Argentina, which have a sexual ethic in many ways more open than American liberals. Asia, while not being as strictly Christian, has social values more in line with traditional western ones.
I'd probably recommend staying away from Brazil and Argentina for wife hunting too. Never been there though.
 
Obviously you aren’t DiCaprio and never will be, but even at 0.01% of his wealth or the physique of X male model, you’d be surprised at what women will be willing to do for the right man. I know this site isn’t about game anymore, but the same basic rules of self-improvement still apply. The notion that you’ll find a solid Christian woman by being an average boring guy is nonsense and you best disabuse yourself of the notion.
This is true and the only way to go forward. However it’s not an easy way and for many men this will be very hard. And if more men go down the stoic road, optimize their looks, income, status and relationship market value the competition for the few good women out there will become even more fierce. A few years ago 20% of all men could get a tinder date. Now it’s more like 10% pushing towards 5%. Women are bombarded by hot men willing to sleep with them and above average men willing to settle with them. They cannot answer all hundreds of messages they get every day, so they filter to get it down to a manageable amount of suitors. Telling that 5’5 30+ non scholarly gifted guy that he just needs stop playing computer games, go to the gym and the church and soon he will be married and starting a family is not really giving him realistic expectations. See:
 

third_eldest

Sparrow
Telling that 5’5
There's the main problem, lol
At that age range, anyone worth marrying is usually married. And the fact one still isn't married at that age just shows either a lack of drive, lack of strategic lifestyle choices, or just straight up laziness. Most guys will just have to live with the fact they wasted their youth. But instead of wasting away as a mindless consumer, turn yourself into what the establishment fears.
 
This is true and the only way to go forward. However it’s not an easy way and for many men this will be very hard. And if more men go down the stoic road, optimize their looks, income, status and relationship market value the competition for the few good women out there will become even more fierce. A few years ago 20% of all men could get a tinder date. Now it’s more like 10% pushing towards 5%. Women are bombarded by hot men willing to sleep with them and above average men willing to settle with them. They cannot answer all hundreds of messages they get every day, so they filter to get it down to a manageable amount of suitors. Telling that 5’5 30+ non scholarly gifted guy that he just needs stop playing computer games, go to the gym and the church and soon he will be married and starting a family is not really giving him realistic expectations. See:
The first thing said guy should do is stop watching this loser mindset blackpill garbage. You are what you eat transfers to what information you consume, too.

I still go back to the same point. Historically, most men didn’t reproduce. In cave men times, it was something like 1 in every 17 men that had children. That’s reality. If you want a wife and kids, sack up and put in the work. If not, don’t expect things to come easily to you.

 
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GWYW2015

Woodpecker
OP or anyone feeling this: go to Asia. It will solve your problem.

You’ll be like a kid in a candy store again. You’ll find whatever you want with little effort. If you lose it the shelves are fully stocked.

Try again. There’s an endless supply of good women. In the West you’re in near total a scarcity and the quality is poor to mediocre.

Relationships and dating in the West are some of the most complicated in the world. It might not seem that way because they’re so easy to get into with the rise of swipe apps. Yet the endless emptiness of it becomes a huge source of misery and waste for a lot of young people. It’s almost like an addiction/abuse problem.

We are having fun but irrevocably damaging ourselves psychologically. Other people become a disposable commodity with whom we have fun. Then dump when problems arise. Which of course is 100% of the time in any human interaction of substance.

Serial dating really messes up our timelines. If you don’t marry someone by collegish age, you’re setting yourself up for out of sync timelines when you keep dating as a working adult.

Most (but not all) relationships will be doomed from the start because your goals and timelines never quite match up. Then dating becomes little more than a self fulfilling prophecy of fun—but failed—encounters.

It’s not an unreasonable reaction for a middle aged man to reach his limit and walk away. Past age 25 the obesity rate zooms and the good ones are paired off. You’re stuck with the leftovers no one wants.

Hooking up becomes tedious and physically unfulfilling, even if you continue to pull decent quality. I regularly date 18-22 year olds but they’re painfully immature and boring. They’d make someone happy but not me.

Marrying in your early 30s is probably the answer for most men. Earlier or later are too hard for different reasons.

Early 30s is also about the limit for having kids and enjoying being physical with them. As well as avoiding a huge generation gap where you can’t relate to each other because you live in different worlds.

I agree that most men have dropped the ball with their lifestyle, personality, putting up with bad behavior from women. Though it’s not as simple as choosing to be more alpha, leading, muscles, leather coat (laugh), etc. The problems are societal. You’re swinging a bat at the rain.

None of that matters if you’re in a relationship that was doomed from the start because of societal pressures, out of sync timelines, or you really have nothing in common with each other.

I see so many couples with nothing in common. Different timelines, goals, values, etc.

They think they have things in common because they like to do normal human things:
eat food at restaurants
watch Netflix at home
workout at the gym
take vacations to the beach.

It’s laughable. If you live in a Tier I city you could drop them and find a replacement next week.

Even with a really specific hobby like rock climbing, it would be easy to find a partner that’s also into it. Yet the process of pair bonding is so twisted that we choose to placate and stay in bad relationships for too long

The only thing keeping most couples together is the pair bond they’ve made over the dating/relationship.

Usually it’s not that strong and full of problems. Even after a few years.

Both men and women have to focus on school, work, family, etc. The relationship comes last. Both people compromise but it’s not enough

Walking away is problematic because the reality is that you can’t really control your emotions one way or the other.

You’re tired and upset but still lonely and yearning for someone in your life. Yet when you had that it was too problematic to keep.

I can’t see most men being happy unless they’re able to fill that void. But in so doing they’re setting themselves up for torture.

I said in one of my books, “You have two choices. You can either be lonely or annoyed.”

It’s meant to be tongue in cheek. But I’ve found it to be generally true.

The only relationship I had that wasn’t this way was with an older Japanese woman. She was at the upper age range of being physically attractive but being Asian still passed for late 20s. Oddly still bothering me to have kids which I found kinda crazy.

Their cooperative society makes people much more suitable for relationships. They all grow up with one sibling. Therefore not spoiled nor neglected. Parents rarely divorce so the population isn’t totally screwed up like America (50% divorce rate)

I’m very practical oriented in my posts. Rather than dive deeper into the meta side I’ll offer some practical insight from dating in 50+ countries—

**BEFORE YOU GIVE UP GO TO ASIA**

You can probably find whatever you want there. Dating 18-22 year old students or marrying a woman who’s too old for kids but still skinny and appealing in multiple ways.

In general the USA/EU is not worth it over 30. Latam is not worth it over 40. Both have shockingly high rates of single motherhood and divorce. Women’s personalities are severely compromised.

Eastern Europe has a huge societal problem with relationships being transactional but the upside is that huge age gaps are normal or even desired.

Asia is good at any age. Particularly Southeast Asia. Real love is possible and likely. It doesn’t matter if you’re 18 or 80.

I’d encourage any guy of any age who feels like the OP to head to Thailand as it is open now. You can find every option at every age there. True love, marriage, kids. Skinny, educated, feminine women. It’s all on the table in Asia.

Whenever I hear men complaining about this I wish I could get out my prescription pad and write them a plane ticket to Asia. Most likely will solve their problem to some degree.

Certainly far better than staying in the West. Its a societal problem. Unfortunately you’re stuck in a bad society. Nothing you can’t really do but leave.
Asia is definitely something to try. I was 53 when I married my wife in the Philippines after a whirlwind 54-day VLDR. While I wish it hadn't taken me so long to find someone, I did and we are happily married. It is relatively easy to marry overseas, but there is the visa stuff and webcamming and not seeing each other in person, for real, too often. We decided to marry each other before we met in person, since we figured we were going to have to learn about each other for a long time still.

You said many things that resonated with me. A beautiful Filipina like any beautiful, young woman, still needs to be handled right. That is where a guy matures faster than anything-marriage. While I had decades to prepare for being married, I think actually being married is where you really begin to get tested and learn.

I agree with you it can solve your aloneness problem, the occassional conflicts are unavoidable and if used properly, are opportunites for maturity and growth. I believe young men should be looking overseas. Many Filipinas and probably other nationalities, prefer younger men, while many others are more open to older guys. Our age gap is 27 years. My wife didn't want someone over 55 so I just made the cut at 53!
 
I’d caution Catholics from looking for wives in Latin America. Yes you can find them here. Plenty of Catholic women. But damaged.

I would say all 7+ girls I’ve met here are damaged goods psychologically. Maybe 50/50 for the 6s. And that’s probably just because they were on their best behavior for me as I’m a 7.5 or so.

Even the virgins I’ve met are screwed up from terrible experiences. They’d need massive therapy and hand holding to recover. Even then you’d be dealing with too many other problems like propensity for obesity and marrying into a bad culture/society.

In all my time here in Mexico I’ve not met any girls that I found to be marriage material. There is a fundamental lack of respect, manners, appreciation, etc for men and the effort we put in.

My experience is probably more extreme because I will not date overweight women. And unlike most Latinas my idea of skinny is not being 30-50 pounds overweight. It’s truly bizarre that a Latin woman who is that overweight will argue with you about it. Even showing you a picture of a woman who can barely walk (morbidly obese) and saying that is what’s considered fat.

Another big red flag is that almost none tell me their goal is to be a wife and mother. In fact most Latinas say that this is NOT one of their goals. It’s just kind of something they will let happen to them passively and deal with in a half-assed and neglectful way. Uh, no thanks!

Many do end up married. But they’re clueless about how to act and behave. Or they just don’t care. They do whatever they want. Then complain about it. Cry every night types.

If you try to date here you should expect that most can’t show up for a date. Utter stupidity or disregard for you. There will be few cancellations, apologies, and attempts to reschedule. Just flakes. Even with women who are clearly 2 points below your value in every way.

In their defense Latinas can be pleasant to be around if you pay for everything and keep life simple. Plan on having 8 or so additional roles. Not just boyfriend/husband. You are also the father, therapist, atm, chauffeur, punching bag, doormat, tour guide, body guard, etc.

I’ve dated some Latina girls around 30 were ok for a long term relationship. I just wasn’t attracted to these older women that much.

Latina women over 25+ are always overweight and/or damaged psychologically from so many failed relationships. Unlike men they generally don’t stop to consider their own behavior and try to improve. Same 4-8 yo behavior comes out daily or almost daily.

The older women are also so busy with work you’ll barely get much time with them. Younger women have been more free this year with schools closed. But younger oneare with family almost 24/7.

Most Latinas live at home until married which means they don’t really grow up. They’re quite immature.

I’ve dated adult women who couldn’t light the burners on a stove. I shit you not. How did they survive that long? Who raised this princess?

I’ve tried cohabitating and it’s always been an unbalanced dynamic. I can’t imagine raising kids with most of them. They’re very selfish and lazy.

If you try that expect the attitude and behavior of a 4-8 year old daughter not a girlfriend. It won’t be ALL the time. They have a good side and bad side.

Other issues I noticed:
-Literally addicted to their phones. Often not bathing because they are so addicted.
-No hobbies. They say going to the beach but most can’t swim.
-Educations that are worthless. The schools here are a joke compared to global north.
-Poisoned by media with fear and risk aversion. Even the ones that say they’re not. It’s all talk and no action.
-Cheating for women is common. Cheating for men is almost a certainty.
-Many women are freelance Prostitutes on the side. Or selling dirty panties type crap.

Overall, the stereotypical Latina attitude has little respect for men. The prevailing idea for most 20s age Latinas I meet is that the man is an ATM machines to subsidize their fun lifestyle and be subjected to the whims of their mood.

if you want a Catholic girl then no question whatsoever you should be looking in the Philippines.

The attitude is way better and the women want to be wives and mothers.

They’re appreciative and affectionate. I’d rather have a poor Pinay girl than a rich Latina. Even if the rich one was from a good home and the poor one a broken home.

Remember you’re also marrying into the woman’s family and society.

Latam has too many problems at the societal level like crime and corruption. It messes up the entire system, families, individuals. They’re ok for having a date once or twice a week but that’s it.

Sad to say this but most Latinas I’ve dated made me lose respect for them before we ever met. By the time we were in a relationship I actively resented them. Not all, but like 90%.

Imagine loving a woman but also hating her? Meanwhile she thinks her behavior is normal and reasonable—you’re lucky to have her!

That’s been my experience in Latam. The women here are trouble for relationships. I’m sure there are success stories. Most of those guys are high earners who have no trouble paying 100% of the high life.

They put up with 6-12 months of crap before they finally get her pair bonded and seriously invested. Then start asking for basic things like shopping on a budget. At which point the girl will cry, pack her bags, and pretend to book a ticket.

Why deal with this when the Philippines exists and you don’t even have to learn Spanish or ball out to get respect?
 
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OP or anyone feeling this: go to Asia. It will solve your problem.

You’ll be like a kid in a candy store again. You’ll find whatever you want with little effort. If you lose it the shelves are fully stocked.

Try again. There’s an endless supply of good women. In the West you’re in near total a scarcity and the quality is poor to mediocre.

Relationships and dating in the West are some of the most complicated in the world. It might not seem that way because they’re so easy to get into with the rise of swipe apps. Yet the endless emptiness of it becomes a huge source of misery and waste for a lot of young people. It’s almost like an addiction/abuse problem.

We are having fun but irrevocably damaging ourselves psychologically. Other people become a disposable commodity with whom we have fun. Then dump when problems arise. Which of course is 100% of the time in any human interaction of substance.

Serial dating really messes up our timelines. If you don’t marry someone by collegish age, you’re setting yourself up for out of sync timelines when you keep dating as a working adult.

Most (but not all) relationships will be doomed from the start because your goals and timelines never quite match up. Then dating becomes little more than a self fulfilling prophecy of fun—but failed—encounters.

It’s not an unreasonable reaction for a middle aged man to reach his limit and walk away. Past age 25 the obesity rate zooms and the good ones are paired off. You’re stuck with the leftovers no one wants.

Hooking up becomes tedious and physically unfulfilling, even if you continue to pull decent quality. I regularly date 18-22 year olds but they’re painfully immature and boring. They’d make someone happy but not me.

Marrying in your early 30s is probably the answer for most men. Earlier or later are too hard for different reasons.

Early 30s is also about the limit for having kids and enjoying being physical with them. As well as avoiding a huge generation gap where you can’t relate to each other because you live in different worlds.

I agree that most men have dropped the ball with their lifestyle, personality, putting up with bad behavior from women. Though it’s not as simple as choosing to be more alpha, leading, muscles, leather coat (laugh), etc. The problems are societal. You’re swinging a bat at the rain.

None of that matters if you’re in a relationship that was doomed from the start because of societal pressures, out of sync timelines, or you really have nothing in common with each other.

I see so many couples with nothing in common. Different timelines, goals, values, etc.

They think they have things in common because they like to do normal human things:
eat food at restaurants
watch Netflix at home
workout at the gym
take vacations to the beach.

It’s laughable. If you live in a Tier I city you could drop them and find a replacement next week.

Even with a really specific hobby like rock climbing, it would be easy to find a partner that’s also into it. Yet the process of pair bonding is so twisted that we choose to placate and stay in bad relationships for too long

The only thing keeping most couples together is the pair bond they’ve made over the dating/relationship.

Usually it’s not that strong and full of problems. Even after a few years.

Both men and women have to focus on school, work, family, etc. The relationship comes last. Both people compromise but it’s not enough

Walking away is problematic because the reality is that you can’t really control your emotions one way or the other.

You’re tired and upset but still lonely and yearning for someone in your life. Yet when you had that it was too problematic to keep.

I can’t see most men being happy unless they’re able to fill that void. But in so doing they’re setting themselves up for torture.

I said in one of my books, “You have two choices. You can either be lonely or annoyed.”

It’s meant to be tongue in cheek. But I’ve found it to be generally true.

The only relationship I had that wasn’t this way was with an older Japanese woman. She was at the upper age range of being physically attractive but being Asian still passed for late 20s. Oddly still bothering me to have kids which I found kinda crazy.

Their cooperative society makes people much more suitable for relationships. They all grow up with one sibling. Therefore not spoiled nor neglected. Parents rarely divorce so the population isn’t totally screwed up like America (50% divorce rate)

I’m very practical oriented in my posts. Rather than dive deeper into the meta side I’ll offer some practical insight from dating in 50+ countries—

**BEFORE YOU GIVE UP GO TO ASIA**

You can probably find whatever you want there. Dating 18-22 year old students or marrying a woman who’s too old for kids but still skinny and appealing in multiple ways.

In general the USA/EU is not worth it over 30. Latam is not worth it over 40. Both have shockingly high rates of single motherhood and divorce. Women’s personalities are severely compromised.

Eastern Europe has a huge societal problem with relationships being transactional but the upside is that huge age gaps are normal or even desired.

Asia is good at any age. Particularly Southeast Asia. Real love is possible and likely. It doesn’t matter if you’re 18 or 80.

I’d encourage any guy of any age who feels like the OP to head to Thailand as it is open now. You can find every option at every age there. True love, marriage, kids. Skinny, educated, feminine women. It’s all on the table in Asia.

Whenever I hear men complaining about this I wish I could get out my prescription pad and write them a plane ticket to Asia. Most likely will solve their problem to some degree.

Certainly far better than staying in the West. Its a societal problem. Unfortunately you’re stuck in a bad society. Nothing you can’t really do but leave.
Really great posts Tibuktube. If I am unable to find what I'm looking for here before I get too old, I'll be forced to look elsewhere. I like Thai culture a lot and have had had good experiences with Thai women too, but the fact that they aren't Christian scares me A ton of guys from my church are married to Filipina girls so it definitely seems like one of the best options in terms of finding a loyal wife.

I've had many good experiences with Turkish women as well, and all the ones I've met seemed like they would make very good wives. They aren't discussed very often, though, probably because they are muslim(albeit secular) which would make it very hard to work out long term. Even if you can inspire your wife or girlifrend to convert, her parents might not like you for it depending on how traditional they are. Also, I'm surprised you didn't have many good things to say about Mexico. They have a very low divorce rate. The only negative in my eyes is that so many are overweight from their high carb diet.
 
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