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<blockquote data-quote="Cartographer" data-source="post: 1515469" data-attributes="member: 7611">That&#039;s a really good description of oneitis.I think it is the result of a very self-centered mentality. I&#039;ve had it too, a few times. It&#039;s mentally and physically draining and repels women like a bad smell.Feeding into an internal demand for what we think we deserve is a gateway to misery and despair. God doesn&#039;t owe me a slim, attractive woman and I have failed many times to understand that and probably will again. Sometimes the thought of failing again terrifies me but I get over that when I focus on living a godly life. If you don&#039;t spend your energy holding on to your disappointment and anger, the yield is exponential. Not only are you not drained from anger and pain but you have the spare energy to focus on things that lift you up. You can refocus if you try (and ask for help).Also, most chads are not people anyone would want to switch places with if they knew the reality of their situation. The grass is always greener on the other side and men who have what others covet also have a heavy weight to carry with it.[USER=17998]@Elipe[/USER]I&#039;m not sure what you and others here are meaning by &quot;assurance&quot;. I get the sense to some it means that we&#039;d live in a society where Sally and Suzie down the block are both leggy blondes who cook and sew and are basically up for grabs when we feel like we&#039;re ready. I don&#039;t think that world ever existed if that&#039;s what you mean, and just wishing for it to exist isn&#039;t gonna make it happen.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Cartographer, post: 1515469, member: 7611"] That's a really good description of oneitis. I think it is the result of a very self-centered mentality. I've had it too, a few times. It's mentally and physically draining and repels women like a bad smell. Feeding into an internal demand for what we think we deserve is a gateway to misery and despair. God doesn't owe me a slim, attractive woman and I have failed many times to understand that and probably will again. Sometimes the thought of failing again terrifies me but I get over that when I focus on living a godly life. If you don't spend your energy holding on to your disappointment and anger, the yield is exponential. Not only are you not drained from anger and pain but you have the spare energy to focus on things that lift you up. You can refocus if you try (and ask for help). Also, most chads are not people anyone would want to switch places with if they knew the reality of their situation. The grass is always greener on the other side and men who have what others covet also have a heavy weight to carry with it. [USER=17998]@Elipe[/USER] I'm not sure what you and others here are meaning by "assurance". I get the sense to some it means that we'd live in a society where Sally and Suzie down the block are both leggy blondes who cook and sew and are basically up for grabs when we feel like we're ready. I don't think that world ever existed if that's what you mean, and just wishing for it to exist isn't gonna make it happen. [/QUOTE]

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