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<blockquote data-quote="Wutang" data-source="post: 1550125" data-attributes="member: 2952">I had an female Indian manager at a job once who told me and some other of my co-workers that she was engaged to her husband after meeting him for 45 minutes. I remember her exact words: &quot;For us, the marriage comes first and the love comes later&quot;.I also had an Albanian friend who married a girl from his home country. He met her randomly in the capital city while he was in Albania visiting relatives. After returning to the US, they stayed in touch online and he asked her if she wanted to get married on there. I remember his words regarding his marriage as well. He said when making the decision he treated it like he was making a buying a house or making any sort of big purchase. He had a list and thought of all the good points about her (She&#039;s from a good family, she is educated, she is attractive enough) in the same way people make decisions about buying a car or whatever. He had also said that in the beginning of their marriage they he did not love her but that after a few years, he did start loving her. They have two sons now.I&#039;ve been thinking for a while now if when it comes to marrying a woman if it is best to disregard attraction and chemistry. For modern people it seems inconceivable to marry someone unless you are already in love and have romantic affections for her but if you look at most of human history, most marriages were not based on romance. Rather it was for the purpose of forming a family unit. The way our period views marriage is what is aberrant and abnormal compared to the entirety of human history.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Wutang, post: 1550125, member: 2952"] I had an female Indian manager at a job once who told me and some other of my co-workers that she was engaged to her husband after meeting him for 45 minutes. I remember her exact words: "For us, the marriage comes first and the love comes later". I also had an Albanian friend who married a girl from his home country. He met her randomly in the capital city while he was in Albania visiting relatives. After returning to the US, they stayed in touch online and he asked her if she wanted to get married on there. I remember his words regarding his marriage as well. He said when making the decision he treated it like he was making a buying a house or making any sort of big purchase. He had a list and thought of all the good points about her (She's from a good family, she is educated, she is attractive enough) in the same way people make decisions about buying a car or whatever. He had also said that in the beginning of their marriage they he did not love her but that after a few years, he did start loving her. They have two sons now. I've been thinking for a while now if when it comes to marrying a woman if it is best to disregard attraction and chemistry. For modern people it seems inconceivable to marry someone unless you are already in love and have romantic affections for her but if you look at most of human history, most marriages were not based on romance. Rather it was for the purpose of forming a family unit. The way our period views marriage is what is aberrant and abnormal compared to the entirety of human history. [/QUOTE]

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