Have you talked with your kids about porn and sexuality?

So I'm not a father yet but I'm curious for those of you who have teenagers in this day and age.

I saw some study saying that 98% of all boys nowadays have watched porn by the age of 15 and considering how easy it is to access the internet in this day and age with smartphones etc. I suppose the future generation have a higher risk of becoming damaged from it.

(Meanwhile back in my days it could take me up to 1-2 weeks to just download an 8 minute low-quality video and that was considered very good here back then since I would be asked to burn CD's and sell them to other guys in school.)

Now, have you talked with your teenager about it or do you plan to do so? When?

What have you told them about it?
 
I first saw a porn magazine at 12 (1996) from a friend that took it to school, at 13 was recording porn at night, and at 13-14 (97-98) was looking at porn on my dads computer.

I watched too much porn as an adolescent, and have been a bit of a porn and sex addict. Has this been due to watching porn so young? I don’t know.

But kids will be infinately more exposed now, even if his phone is porn safe, or doesnt have one, the cool kids will always get kicks showing the most hardcore scenes he finds to everyone.

Its a good question you ask, how to manage this as a parent. My girlfriend is a bit more naive thinking this can be controlled but I know (if the kid is like me) he will find a way. But is it bad? Do parents have to talk about it?.. Good question.
 

Tytalus

Pelican
Somewhat. I've had my kids read these books, at least.

These two books are written by an anti-porn activist. I know a guy, who has met her, and said she is moved to tears by how damaging porn is for kids... But also motivated enough to do something about it.


 

emuelle1

Woodpecker
Gold Member
I've explained it to my children as clearly as I can. Our church's high school ministry is also very proactive in discussing sexual sin.

I never quite understood porn myself. Don't get me wrong; I've wasted way too much of my life looking at pictures of naked women. I never understood wanting to watch another man (most likely wearing a prosthetic) banging a skank. I knew early on that was cuckoldry.

Henry Mackow wrote an article years ago about how porn is gay. It makes a lot of sense. https://rense.com/general69/allppor.htm
 

Blade Runner

Pelican
I agree with you emuelle, but I think the best explanation is that it's just a novelty of imagination for what a materialist would call a "glandular" issue. I don't think it's anything beyond the fact that it is an extension of masturbation. The problem is that it can get out of control and the current environment is awful regarding distractions of every day life, beyond being a sexually overcooked and degenerate society.
 

rainy

Kingfisher
I'm not sure how I'll handle this when the time comes.

But what doesn't help is the crap I've seen in the news. Wasn't there a teacher reading a book to her 5 yr old students showing them how to masturbate and perform anal? I mean WTF.
 

Rob Banks

Pelican
I think you must have that talk with your son around puberty. I think it’s awkward for a dad to tell a daughter though. Probably better for the mom to tell her.
Yet another reason why broken families and fatherless/motherless homes are evil.

With regard to OP's topic, I believe parents need to be very careful in how they choose to talk about this stuff to their kids.

There is the extreme of parents who do not talk about porn or sex except to tell their kids it's bad and must be avoided or else they're going to hell. This leads to repression (I am referring to real repressive disorders, where the person fears everything sexual and becomes neurotic and messed up. This is very differerent from when liberals use the term "repression" to insinuate that everyone should be sexually free and open).

And there is also the other extreme, which is to do what my parents did. My parents gave me the "birds and the bees" talk very early (like when I was 3 or 4), and they never shied away from giving me accurate anatomical and scientific infirmation about sex, along with drilling into my mind that "it is totally normal. Just don't do it without a condom."

Needless to say, this contributed very much to my spiritual unwellness as a teen and later as an adult, including lustful vices and problems with self-control in general.
 
Know who your kids hang out with and what access they have and for Christ's sake don't give your own children a smartphone. If you're not controlling your kids access to information in clownworld....you're doing it wrong. It's not the 1990s anymore.
If your kids are tech savvy, controlling what they can see is easier said than done. My parents had blockers on the router but I was always able to get around them. I think the best option is to just not have internet at home. That or super slow wired only. Enough that you can look at a forum/90s website or download books but videos are unreasonable.
 

Rob Banks

Pelican
If your kids are tech savvy, controlling what they can see is easier said than done. My parents had blockers on the router but I was always able to get around them. I think the best option is to just not have internet at home. That or super slow wired only. Enough that you can look at a forum/90s website or download books but videos are unreasonable.
This.

NetNanny and similar blockers/filters are extremly easy to get around if you are even remotely computer literate.

I know this because, as an adult, I once asked a family member to install these filters on my computer in order to help me avoid bad websites. However, they were all super easy to get around.

A quick Google search of "how to get around NetNanny (or whatever filter you're using)" will bring up tons of Reddit posts with simple step-by-step instructions of how to deactivate the filter.
 
If your kids are tech savvy, controlling what they can see is easier said than done. My parents had blockers on the router but I was always able to get around them. I think the best option is to just not have internet at home. That or super slow wired only. Enough that you can look at a forum/90s website or download books but videos are unreasonable.
NetNanny and similar blockers/filters are extremly easy to get around if you are even remotely tech savvy.

I hear you both and this is something I'm aware of. I'm tech savvy and know it can be bypassed....which gives me the edge, right? If we control the devices and they're only used when we're present, can they really get around the DNS block? Not only that but my kids would have to know how to get into the DNS service to change it, which requires a password that isn't stored anywhere.

I sound like a helicopter parent but we do give our children their space. We just stay on top of the flow of what they're able to be exposed to.
 
I hear you both and this is something I'm aware of. I'm tech savvy and know it can be bypassed....which gives me the edge, right? If we control the devices and they're only used when we're present, can they really get around the DNS block? Not only that but my kids would have to know how to get into the DNS service to change it, which requires a password that isn't stored anywhere.

I sound like a helicopter parent but we do give our children their space. We just stay on top of the flow of what they're able to be exposed to.
A proxy nullifies DNS blocks but its probably still worth trying. What do you mean by devices? I would avoid handheld devices entirely. If your kids have some creative interest in technology (CG or programming, maybe?) then a crappy computer will be just fine. Otherwise you should try to keep them busy with real life hobbies. Phones and tablets exist exclusively to be used for time wasting or perversion.
 
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