Help! I'm in love with a naïve Christian girl who wants to go off to the Air Force

Elipe

Kingfisher
Lots of bandwidth have already been spilled discussing this, so I'll just add this: if she wants in the USAF, it's better to be a civilian than full blown military. There are lots of civilian scholarships too, if finances are part of her reasoning.

She gets all the benefits of working for the military and very little of the gung-ho feminism that you usually see in the services. They also do a lot of teleworking now in the age of COVID, so that's a great way to have her lead a somewhat traditional lifestyle while also making that sweet, easy military civilian money.
 

NoFunInAus

Kingfisher
When I served when I was younger we used to date the office chicks during the weekend and I can tell you these are wildest and dirtiest slooths you can imagine. She dreams of alpha sausage and you ain't it brother, move on.
 
Agree, those things are more engineering. But I think he just meant the background knowledge that most good lads that go into CS/Engineering have by playing with that stuff when they were younger. Hell, I started playing computer games/messing about at 10. I built a computer with my dad at 13. As soon as I had enough saved up from work at 15-16, I built my own without his help. That's not mentioning any of the failed/successful soldering projects, working on cars, building crap etc. before I went off to college.
Most girls will NEVER do these things in their lives, and they are indoctrinated to think that they must go do STEM. The E in big STEM is 100% geared to men. She may be the 1 in however many thousand that can do it, but I doubt it, and even if she succeeds, her life will not be fulfilling as a woman. The attrition in Engineering is insane.

A "happy" career for a woman in Computer Science: spending thousands of hours pouring over thousands of lines of code:like: , sitting at a desk probably getting fat :dislike:, maybe get into management :), maybe not:(, no time for family:confused:, makes a bunch of money to spend on her kitties:nerd, spends her free time telling the next generation about how she broke through so many freakin glass ceilings writing those lines of code :laughter:

So much truth in this.

I can picture the cringe posts on Twitter and Instagram - "Just got finished writing the last line of code on my latest project. Yasssss! #empoweredwoman #thefutureisfemale #catmom"
 

Steiner

Pigeon
I've found it very entertaining reading these responses but I would only have one thing to say:

Make your play brother. Lay it on the line with her. If she is into you she will love that. And if she don't then at least you will know.


So much truth in this.

I can picture the cringe posts on Twitter and Instagram - "Just got finished writing the last line of code on my latest project. Yasssss! #empoweredwoman #thefutureisfemale #catmom"
These chicks are like:
Power Point > Progeny

In a more sophisticated age:




download.jpg
 

CamelJockey

Pigeon
Are you even dating this girl, or having sex with her? You are probably deeply in love with this girl, while she views you simply as the piano coach. If you're not even in a sexual relationship with her, she's not going to care what you have to say about her joining the air force and tell you it's none of your business. She's not your girl to tell her what to do. You need to go meet other women and forget about this one because she's not yours to begin with.
 
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renotime

Ostrich
Gold Member
She's hard to read, I think she likes the attention though. After a little reflection I don't really think she's the one for me anyway, but as someone who knows her I just want to give her some advice so she doesn't go down the wrong path for no reason.

Have you hung out with her outside of piano lessons? If she hasn't asked for your opinion she probably isn't interested in it. And she is a teenager so she probably won't listen regardless.
 

Nick

Pigeon
If it's not clear that she's into you by now, it means she isn't. Use your position as a mentor to give her good advice as other commenters have outlined, but don't be surprised if she does the exact opposite. It sounds like she is far down the path of making plans and you aren't part of them, luckily you're 24 and even though you'll wish it had worked out differently you still have time. Whatever romantic success I've had resulted from being direct about my interest in a woman, if she's not interested then at least you know quickly and can move on, the friendship for years and then sidestepping into romance approach is not a strong way to start a relationship. Not to say that courtship shouldn't last for some time, but there should be no doubt that it is a courtship.
 
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vik1

Chicken
Tell her that the Bible says girls need to get married, have kids and take care of the home. Read Titus and 1 Timothy, keepers at home to her. If she don't respect God then she won't respect you. Put God first and everything will go as planned.
 
Hey guys (and any girls reading this),

I'm friends with this really beautiful, intelligent young woman from a good Christian family. She's 18. I teach both her and her younger siblings piano, guitar, and singing. She's very feminine, likes to care for her younger brothers, cooks, is a good ballroom dancer, and does really well in school.

I'm only 24, so the young woman and I have developed a pretty casual and friendly relationship that also overlaps with other friend groups from Church. Frankly, I've developed some pretty strong feelings for her that I've tried to ignore, but it's been harder and harder every time I see her.

The painting below pretty much sums up our relationship, and we even look similar to both the people depicted in it:

View attachment 29786

I need your advice. Even though she's really Christian and quite traditional, and her mom is a homeschooling stay-at-home mom, she's totally dedicating her life towards her grades and getting into college. In fact, she decided to join the Air Force ROTC and study Computer Science because they would pay for her college, which of course entails at least 4 years of military service after. The problem I have is that, based on my conversations with her, she's never really thought about the vocation of motherhood in practical terms, she just goes along with the modern feminist mindset of working tirelessly towards college and career, and hoping marriage will just happen later. She is very pretty and feminine, and knowing her sensitive nature, I just don't think she'll be able to fit into a military situation. If she does, it will be because she will have to force herself to become more masculine, and I think she will not be happy with it. Another thing that is annoying about her is that she and her mom think college is just something fun you have to do and get out of the way. However, I think that's a big waste of time (and money) if all you are going to do is end up like your mom and be a happy housewife anyway.

Now, I don't want to boss her around or anything, and I'm worried my feelings are getting in the way of what's best for her, but I also just genuinely want to advise her and warn her that being in the military as a traditional, Christian woman comes at a cost of either your own femininity or the quality of the military, which should be a very masculine institution for the good of the Nation. I want her to follow God's Will, and it seems like God's will is generally to follow Biblical norms for manhood or womanhood.

What would you guys do in such a situation? Should I try to talk to her about it? How? Should I even try to pursue her romantically? I feel that it's perfectly natural and healthy for me to want to pursue her, but is it a red flag that she hasn't even thought about marriage except as a distant future thing after her career happens? I'm having a lot of trouble forcing myself to stop thinking about her, especially 'cause I keep seeing her.

Only thoughtful answers based on experience or common sense, please. No black pills or MGTOW style crap.
Based on my experience....stay away from military/law enforcement womyn. Just write her off and move on. One itis will always come back to bite you.
 

Lucidifer

Chicken
There is so many things to say to stop her from even thinking about going into the military. It sounds like she has a weak father, maybe military himself, so point out to her that the bible says "you cannot serve two masters" and the military is a master so "is she giving up God?" "Women do NOT belong in the military." They have been convinced that it is there right and privlege to join; and women being a sucker for propaganda, believe it hook, line and sinker. It is a job to kill other people, to make a short point of the mission of the military. You might start out with a declaration that you could never marry a military woman and see what her response is and gage your actions on her response. If she is animate about her military, career path, then give up because she is infected with the mind virus and there is no hope, drop all hopes and move on.
 
There is so many things to say to stop her from even thinking about going into the military. It sounds like she has a weak father, maybe military himself, so point out to her that the bible says "you cannot serve two masters" and the military is a master so "is she giving up God?" "Women do NOT belong in the military." They have been convinced that it is there right and privlege to join; and women being a sucker for propaganda, believe it hook, line and sinker. It is a job to kill other people, to make a short point of the mission of the military. You might start out with a declaration that you could never marry a military woman and see what her response is and gage your actions on her response. If she is animate about her military, career path, then give up because she is infected with the mind virus and there is no hope, drop all hopes and move on.
" infected with the mind virus" ? A perfect summary of modern day feminist / populist brainwashing. All good advice in yr post!
 

Twarr

Chicken
Sounds Ike you’re creating a fantasy in your mind. What makes you believe this girl cares anything about what you think beyond music lessons? Maybe *you* need to join the military, get away from this girl for a while, and work on yourself first. I get the impression that while you’re solid in your belief in your ideas, you’re not real confident in yourself.
If you’re indecisive; you lose. Because there will be a steady stream of guys who will be.
 

S.Jef

Chicken
Hey guys (and any girls reading this),

I'm friends with this really beautiful, intelligent young woman from a good Christian family. She's 18. I teach both her and her younger siblings piano, guitar, and singing. She's very feminine, likes to care for her younger brothers, cooks, is a good ballroom dancer, and does really well in school.

I'm only 24, so the young woman and I have developed a pretty casual and friendly relationship that also overlaps with other friend groups from Church. Frankly, I've developed some pretty strong feelings for her that I've tried to ignore, but it's been harder and harder every time I see her.

The painting below pretty much sums up our relationship, and we even look similar to both the people depicted in it:

View attachment 29786

I need your advice. Even though she's really Christian and quite traditional, and her mom is a homeschooling stay-at-home mom, she's totally dedicating her life towards her grades and getting into college. In fact, she decided to join the Air Force ROTC and study Computer Science because they would pay for her college, which of course entails at least 4 years of military service after. The problem I have is that, based on my conversations with her, she's never really thought about the vocation of motherhood in practical terms, she just goes along with the modern feminist mindset of working tirelessly towards college and career, and hoping marriage will just happen later. She is very pretty and feminine, and knowing her sensitive nature, I just don't think she'll be able to fit into a military situation. If she does, it will be because she will have to force herself to become more masculine, and I think she will not be happy with it. Another thing that is annoying about her is that she and her mom think college is just something fun you have to do and get out of the way. However, I think that's a big waste of time (and money) if all you are going to do is end up like your mom and be a happy housewife anyway.

Now, I don't want to boss her around or anything, and I'm worried my feelings are getting in the way of what's best for her, but I also just genuinely want to advise her and warn her that being in the military as a traditional, Christian woman comes at a cost of either your own femininity or the quality of the military, which should be a very masculine institution for the good of the Nation. I want her to follow God's Will, and it seems like God's will is generally to follow Biblical norms for manhood or womanhood.

What would you guys do in such a situation? Should I try to talk to her about it? How? Should I even try to pursue her romantically? I feel that it's perfectly natural and healthy for me to want to pursue her, but is it a red flag that she hasn't even thought about marriage except as a distant future thing after her career happens? I'm having a lot of trouble forcing myself to stop thinking about her, especially 'cause I keep seeing her.

Only thoughtful answers based on experience or common sense, please. No black pills or MGTOW style crap.
Dear friend. I believe that you have strong feelings for her. Thus, I should tell you to avoid it. It seems to be your first love. And due to the fond environment, you are making dreams. But they do not align with the woman's dreams. Regardless if she is "pure" or already a "heavy mileage", her dreams are away from your thoughts. Look to the other side, have fun with other free girls and protect yourself. If you wish, make an effort but remember that this might destroy totally your relation with the family. If these are her ideas, that means that they are also promoted by her family. So, the important thing, is to protect yourself and your sanity. If I were you, I would try to catch her mood and to see if it is possible to tune and alight better with her and after to see if she is a possible match for me. If not, as already stated "other bus will pass" and this one, probably will have free seats by the window. Whatever the outcome, thank God. It was His willing for your progress and protection. All the best.
 

Ovid

Woodpecker
It is a sad fact that among many families of her type (fairly traditional, Christian, conservative) in the USA, the military is considered something of a go-to option, either because they still have a very outdated view of it being a great place where you send the boys so they become men (and disciplined and virtuous) or just because it’s heavily marketed to lower income families as a fantastic way to pay for college (which itself is still accepted by many or most as a non-negotiable necessity for living a good life.) Sadly she is hardly the first girl who was raised reasonably well who wants to join the military, either to make daddy proud (any sensible father would be filled with horror) or because she naively feels like it’s a good way to pay for her education without “burdening” her family.

Unfortunately I think there’s damn little you can do. If she falls in love with you, she would probably throw out the idea of college altogether. But her family may have things to say about that. If she doesn’t fall in love with you, she may consent to listen to good advice from her piano teacher, but it would probably go in one ear and out the other because she clearly has no conception (nor does her family) about the evil environment of the modern US military, and it doesnt solve her problem of where to go and how to pay for it.

In my opinion, the vast majority of teenage girls today in the west, even from traditional Christian homes, don’t have enough real life experience to know what they want or make any long term decisions. In other words at that age they aren’t good wife material. In the old days they worked on a family farm or in the family store or whatever, they saw money, hard work, animal slaughter, hard times, childbirth (when their mother had #7, etc) and by age 17-18 were functional adults, who could embrace their femininity and choose to become wives and mothers themselves. There was no sense of glamour in their “making it on their own” or “having a career.” Today our girls are so coddled and sheltered, they’re like 11 year olds mentally, with the bodies and hormones of a 21yo. So they think they want a career, because the world incessantly preaches that we’re all equal, and that they should have one just like their brothers.

If their parents haven’t raised them to avoid this trap then they’re as good as lost by now.
 
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