Help. Stepson having Marital issues.

I don’t know the whole story, just bits and pieces. A lot of fighting, needless spending, and her throwing things in his face. What kind of advice can I give? I was never really there for him growing up, because I was a selfish immature prick. I need to guide him in the right direction.

This forum helped my own marriage a few years back. I know the forum has changed since those days, but It helped me be more accountable and be a better man. I worked on myself, stopped being so clingy, and my wife did a complete 180.

I want to tell him to do some of those things, but he seems like he’s always done the right thing, he’s responsible, and has his shit together at such a young age. Any insight would be appreciated!
 

Roosh

Cardinal
Orthodox
I don’t know the whole story, just bits and pieces. A lot of fighting, needless spending, and her throwing things in his face. What kind of advice can I give? I was never really there for him growing up, because I was a selfish immature prick. I need to guide him in the right direction.

This forum helped my own marriage a few years back. I know the forum has changed since those days, but It helped me be more accountable and be a better man. I worked on myself, stopped being so clingy, and my wife did a complete 180.

I want to tell him to do some of those things, but he seems like he’s always done the right thing, he’s responsible, and has his shit together at such a young age. Any insight would be appreciated!
Do they have a priest that can help counsel them through this?
 

mandolini

Chicken
A lot of fighting, needless spending, and her throwing things in his face.
This sounds like a frame issue. He needs to be in control.

What kind of advice can I give? I was never really there for him growing up, because I was a selfish immature prick.
How does he feel about you now? Do you have a good relationship? Has he ever come to you for advice? Or is he just going to shut out anything you say?

This forum helped my own marriage a few years back. I know the forum has changed since those days, but It helped me be more accountable and be a better man. I worked on myself, stopped being so clingy, and my wife did a complete 180.
Take some time to make a list of what changes you made, how they affected you, and how they affected how your wife felt about you and the effect those had in your marriage. You lived through difficult times, looking back may help you find some wisdom you can share with him (and maybe the forum as well).

I want to tell him to do some of those things, but he seems like he’s always done the right thing, he’s responsible, and has his shit together at such a young age.
By all public measures, I was very successful at a very young age: homeowner, successful business, retirement account, great credit, the works. I had two loving parents growing up as well. But I was never taught what it means to be a man and, though I went to Church, I did not have true knowledge of the eternal. In short: I didn't know who I was and where I was going, and it ate me up on the inside any time I had the rare quiet moment (and was chipping away when I was keeping busy). I almost destroyed everything for a girl who was from a broken background and which providing to her every need gave me purpose. But she was not God, though I put her up there to judge me as a man and (material) provider to the graven image I assigned her, and she inevitably left me and I fell into despair and a horrible porn addiction. Say what you want about putting women on a pedestal - they are not deserving of that "worship" and it makes sense that they would leave. A man's role is to be the spiritual head of the household and guide his wife and family to God, not make his wife into a god.

Does he know his purpose in life is to know, love, and serve God? Does he know what it truly means to be a man? Does he know what true femininity is and guide his wife to it? Or is he hard-working and honest but lost and just doubles down on what he has some degree of control and is successful at to compensate for the rest?
 
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