Hidden Traditional Women in Modern Society

Coja Petrus Uscan

Crow
Orthodox Inquirer
Gold Member
Here I will present a few gleanings I have stumbled across about women in modern society who tend to like something at the crossroads of:

- older men
- gender norms
- being led
- being at home
- having children
- getting married
- only having one partner
- feminine interests

My impulse with women has always been to do what I think of as "baby girling" them, to generate a relationship where I am the senior and they follow me - to make them feel vulnerable in being 100% vulnerable, as they know I can be trusted, to bring out the part of them that is a young girl who loves hugs and to be taken care of. In my opinion this is the correct manner of a relationship, which used to be fairly normal. Where the husband takes over from being the custodian of the woman's care, from her father. To be in such a relationship has a big effect on your mind, it fills your with healthier impulses, makes you more confident, masculine, and no doubt changes your physiognomy.

However, trying to do this with a Western woman will likely lead to her being insulted. When she hits the wall she may regret not taking that path. But as long as women are deluded by various modern trends they tend to see such relationships as misogyny.

Over the years I had a number of observations and encounters that has led to the realisation there is a ballpark of women disaffected from modern society, who have varying degrees of traditional and feminine impulses. However, society has essentially destroyed a means of finding avenues to fulfil healthy feminine roles and find life-long partners.

The best avenue we should be looking for marriage is via the church, but maybe that's not worked. Maybe we have not made the right atonements to deserve this. I am writing this not to suggest this is a good idea, but in this debased society, finding a wife through imperfect means is better than never finding one.

I think a large part of the reason for this happening is that society is dominated by extrovert people, whose impulses sway to degeneracy, attention addiction and all manner of other modern debasement. I believe that traditional societies were more influenced by introverts - priests, monks to name two. In my experience introverts are much more conducive to traditional life.

The areas I have noted that women who are conducive to traditional life accumulate are:

- non-demented goths
- cosplay
- gamers
- some girls who study language
- certain relationship ideal communities
- girls interested in any kind of spirituality, but no direction
- serial readers of non-fiction
- generally any kind of girl who is introvert and shies away from modern culture

Not all women attracted to these types of areas will be conducive to tradition. These areas attract people who are disaffected, disappointed with the modern culture of social media addiction, party life style, low-attention spans and so on. And as women, if they are attractive, they will have had offers to enter the modern mainstream, but have refused them. Again, I am not saying any of these sub-cultures are good, but in the world where Christianity is increasingly invisible, women who could become good Christian wives, follow these paths. In the same ways that men with issues with modern life may gravitate to PUA, making crypto millions, self-help etc. These are the female equivalents.

I would put women attracted to these areas into three groups:

1) attention seekers, who've had some problem with the mainstream and have decided to mine sub-cultures for attention and Chad-lites instead; easily detectable via their behaviour and IG account; i.e. the difference between a girl who posts cosplay photos online and one who simply likes to wear cute outfits at home
2) those who are not immediately conducive to traditional life
3) those who have a natural pull to traditional life

These women are a lot more feminine than your average Western woman. Sometimes having more of the personality of your typical Asian girl. If you ask them what they like to do, they will probably say - staying at home, looking cute, cooking, writing, reading novels, drawing, playing games, knitting, making clothes. i.e. the opposite of the modern woman - going out/working, looking professional, eating ready meals, writing a masters thesis, reading a textbook, clubbing, buying designer clothes.

As the femininity has not been correctly channelled by tradition, I would put them into two groups:

1) bratty subs
2) little kitties

The bratty sub is one who tests you (RVF 1.0 style), but it's a very specific game that they are attracted to. Their brattiness is meant to make you behave sternly with them and punish them for it. It's what they want. They have a strong attraction do being utterly dominated and have a thing for military men. They are not so emotional or loving.

The little kitty-type craves affection. They like to be told how good they are, how well they have done; they just want to be close to you and held; they are very vulnerable; very affectionate and loving; very submissive. They have a strong compulsion to please other people and put themselves before others, but will typically have found that it is not respected. They are fulfilled by making others happy and it being appreciated. They like to be seen as cute and adorable.

Both of these types are broadly attracted to the life of a housewife and being led. If you provide what they need (domination, care) they will probably do whatever you want. They both have a strong attraction to male imposed order. They will probably want you to give them rules. Their lives feel much safer with rules.

In my opinion, these types of women represent a much missed part of red-pill analysis of women's behaviour, which skews to only caring about the most attractive women and ignoring everyone else. There are lots of women, who while their peers are chasing IG likes and throwing up into the gutter outside a nightclub, are tucked in bed reading a book. These women are harder to meet and even harder to break the ice with. There are some avenues online. If anyone is interested in pursuing them, PM (only established accounts).
 

Wutang

Hummingbird
Gold Member
Cosplay girls being listed as the type of girl who would be more drawn towards a traditional relationship is a big surprise to me. I've known quite a few and they tend to the ones that are going to express interest in polyarmory, cucking, identifying as some exotic gender and such. The same goes for any girl that expresses any sort of geeky interest. The moment I hear a girl saying that she's a big time gamer or anime fan or whatever I'm also expecting her to start asking people to call her by some pronoun of her devising. Same with goth girls though I did notice you said "non-demented" goth girls so perhaps some clarification is needed.
 

GreatIrishElk

Sparrow
Orthodox Inquirer
Had some encouraging conversations with women in the last week or so. There are some who obviously will never bend the knee to the love of Christ, however I met an encouraging amount that I believe are merely a combination of time, love, a book on female saints and some Divine Liturgies away from being the trad wives we all dream of. Time will tell, I will keep you updated.
 

Blade Runner

Hummingbird
Orthodox
Over the years I had a number of observations and encounters that has led to the realisation there is a ballpark of women disaffected from modern society, who have varying degrees of traditional and feminine impulses. However, society has essentially destroyed a means of finding avenues to fulfil healthy feminine roles and find life-long partners.
I would agree that from a universal and evolutionary biology perspective this has to be true. Our cultures are so messed up at this point, however, as CPU states, it has been hard to recognize something as simple as this.
 

Caduceus

Ostrich
Mother in Russia saves her child from falling avalanche because she was paying attention to her kid, and the environment around her.
If it was somewhere in the west, 90% probability she would have been on her smartphone, distracted, and the child might have died.

 

Laurus

 
Banned
Trad Catholic
As the femininity has not been correctly channelled by tradition, I would put them into two groups:

1) bratty subs
2) little kitties

The bratty sub is one who tests you (RVF 1.0 style), but it's a very specific game that they are attracted to. Their brattiness is meant to make you behave sternly with them and punish them for it. It's what they want. They have a strong attraction do being utterly dominated and have a thing for military men. They are not so emotional or loving.

The little kitty-type craves affection. They like to be told how good they are, how well they have done; they just want to be close to you and held; they are very vulnerable; very affectionate and loving; very submissive. They have a strong compulsion to please other people and put themselves before others, but will typically have found that it is not respected. They are fulfilled by making others happy and it being appreciated. They like to be seen as cute and adorable.

Both of these types are broadly attracted to the life of a housewife and being led. If you provide what they need (domination, care) they will probably do whatever you want. They both have a strong attraction to male imposed order. They will probably want you to give them rules. Their lives feel much safer with rules.
Great categories. These were exactly the two types of women who I'm attracted to and vice-versa. Plato and Aristotle agree with you (us) that the relationship between husband and wife is that of master and slave. There is not other functional way.
 

Stoyan

Pelican
Orthodox
Plato and Aristotle agree with you (us) that the relationship between husband and wife is that of master and slave. There is not other functional way.
I do not agree with such a statement. I think that it is a flawed view of relationships. It is completely not a functional way. I like Stoic philosophers in general, but I do not agree with everything that they say. They were wrong about some things. If someone reads an entire article and agrees with the author on all the points, then he has no critical thinking.

I would say that the relationship between husband and wife should be more like between a wise manager and diligent employee. Or like between two comrades soldiers on the battlefield, both of whose lives depend much on each other.
 

Stoyan

Pelican
Orthodox
I have a story of my own to tell. During my freshman year in college (in California) I usually ate my lunch in the main cafeteria, but on one occasion I had a nonstandard schedule, and so I had my lunch in the lobby of one of the buildings where there was like a little place with tables for eating or studying. On the table next to me was sitting an attractive young woman studying and eating. She brought her own home cooked meal in a metal lunch box. So as she started eating, she crossed herself, and I noticed that she had a necklace around her neck, an Orthodox cross! So we started talking, and I learned that she was indeed Orthodox, and she told me her major although I do not remember now what it was. She dressed conservatively, and she was really young and beautiful. Now it was my fault that I didn't make any efforts to get to know her better or schedule a follow up meeting. And so after we went our ways, I never saw her again. And now recalling how she talked with me, she had some amount of sympathy towards me. But I just failed to take initiative in the discussion. I was indecisive. During that time I was a kind of beta man, unconfident in myself, and not very wise. The root cause of my decision was some kind of shyness or fear of responsibility or something. And now I regret being weak during that time and failing to step up to the next level in life, in a situation which had practically zero risk.

I remember that several months before this encounter, I prayed to God for a good wife because I wanted to start a family at a young age. And I believe that my prayers were answered then, and that this encounter was arranged by God. Coincidences they are not coincidences at all, rather they are deterministic occurances of which the primitive human mind cannot recognize as such. God answers our prayers if we pray sincirely and walk on the right path. Unfortunetely I didn't recognize that encounter for what it actually was at that time. And I failed to step up and continue to walk on the right path that God subtly guided me onto, via multiple incredible coincidences. Now after analyzing this encounter, I can conclude that she really was a good traditional Orthodox girl, that she wasn't faking or acting. I just compounded my error my telling myself that it wasn't the real deal, but that thought was actually a lie. I think that my indecisivenes and shyness during that time can be considered as a sin, and the root cause was unwillingness to step up and gain a responsibility. Because after that my life started falling apart as some time shortly after that I broke my leg, and then I lost my 3 bedroom house that I had in a rural area, and now stuck to living in apartments again.
Now I understand that when I prayed I made a commitment of some kind, and by not following up on my side, after God indeed did follow up on his side, I was disrespecting the commitment, it wasn't sincere ... and so I lost everything that had been given to me so far.

So what can we learn from this? This my story indirectly proves or supports the notion of a very personal God who listens to his people, and arranges circumstances by some means unknown (perhaps the so-called Mandela Effect?), to reward his people people with responsibilties, which are the best kinds of rewards because they are conducive to creativity and productivity, which is what God wants to see of us (unlike the rewards given by Satan, which only degrade people). And when we don't keep our side of the agreement, we are placed down to square one as a way to learn a lesson. Rejecting a reward is equivalent to disrespect to the giver. And trying to make your own path without God's help feels like three time as hard. There are indeed good traditional women in the modern western society. But don't depend on yourself totally to get one.
Because a good wife is from God! So depend on God and follow his good path to have success. For me, I know whether I am following on God's path or not, by listening to my soul. It's a still small voice. Because our soul comes to God, and is connected at all times. So before doing any decision, no matter how small, pause and ask your still small voice (everyone has one), "Should I do this or not?" And if the answer is yes, then go do it with all your heart, give it all you got! Listening to your still small voice is like a muscle that you can practice, the more times you do this, the stronger and clearer it will be heard. It's like a compass that tells you where you need to go, if only you would stop and listen! Oh how good it is having something like that, a "cheat code" that helps you navigate this life! Too many times I didn't heed that voice because of laziness, or fear, or arrogance, or lying to myself that something isn't so. Anyway, when I talked with this girl at the table, I heard this voice clearly telling me, from the depths of my soul, to get her number or somehow follow up and get to know her. Now I regret it, because I didn't just affect my life, but hers as well. I don't know where she is now, maybe she is single, but an even worse thing is that if she somehow got into a relationship with a worldly bad man, someone who is not sharing her percieved Orthodox values, which indirectly could have been caused by me, so I feel responsible for that. Although maybe that is just arrogance, wanting to feel important. But one thing that I've learned in life so far is that God wants us to be important, not in terms of titles of titles like a North Korean general who covers his entire chest in medals, but rather God wants us to be over achievers, being important because of our deeds, not our titles that we didn't earn. God wants us to go out and do great things that would glorify God, because we are made in His image! It's like the parable of the talents. Jesus wants us to develop and multiply our talents to our full potential, instead of burying them in the ground. And I believe that love (altruistic service) in romantic relationships is one of such talents. It should not be ignored. Absistence is prefferable to fornication yes, but maintaining a good relationship based on deep mutual love, making compromises, and shedding away your pride like a snake skin, is prefferable to absistence. Any good thing or talent can be subverted and used for sin and evil.

I've had too many coincidences to just write off, that I'm considering subtle divine intervention as an explanation. Several semesters later I was running through the hallways to get to a professor's office hours. And as I was running, suddenly a door opened, and a girl (different one than last time) walked outright in front of me. I was just a few feet away from her. If I kept running, I would have softly crashed into her ... my momentum coincided with hers in such way that I would have unwittingly come into her arms in a kind of embracement, not on purpose though, but as an incredible coincidence! However I once again went off the script, suddenly stopping to a halt instead. I think that the root cause was to avoid a possible embarassment, a faux pas. It was basically lying to myself, denying my nature, in favorable of bending events into a more "socially correct" encounter, according to whose standards exactly? It wasn't the still small voice in my soul that was doing the decision, but rather a kind of laziness, or fear, or denial. Not going with the flow, not trusting the sequence of events that God has arranged for you, means not trusting God. It is a sinful if you reject God's will, and think that instead you can decide according to your own feelings to conform to social norms and what not. You try playing God ... you end up playing yourself instead. And you end up having to do it the hard way.

God works in subtle ways. You might meet a good traditional woman occasionally, like on the bus or something, and not expect it. Who knows, only God knows. They key thing is to be on the lookout, and be decisive, to take what you are given without hesitation, and without arrogance. No need to travel to other places as a sex tourist, if that's not according to God's will. God will provide for you when you're ready. Don't try to act like someone you're not, you'll just make yourself look like a fool. If you are insincere in meeting the girl, then how can you be sincere in a relationship with her, and how can you be sincere in a relationship with God? Take care, be blessed, listen to your soul your still small voice, and go according to God's path. Some things to think about. Maybe useful but for whom?
 
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Dobaata

Pigeon
Orthodox
I have a story of my own to tell. During my freshman year in college (in California) I usually ate my lunch in the main cafeteria, but on one occasion I had a nonstandard schedule, and so I had my lunch in the lobby of one of the buildings where there was like a little place with tables for eating or studying. On the table next to me was sitting an attractive young woman studying and eating. She brought her own home cooked meal in a metal lunch box. So as she started eating, she crossed herself, and I noticed that she had a necklace around her neck, an Orthodox cross! So we started talking, and I learned that she was indeed Orthodox, and she told me her major although I do not remember now what it was. She dressed conservatively, and she was really young and beautiful. Now it was my fault that I didn't make any efforts to get to know her better or schedule a follow up meeting. And so after we went our ways, I never saw her again. And now recalling how she talked with me, she had some amount of sympathy towards me. But I just failed to take initiative in the discussion. I was indecisive. During that time I was a kind of beta man, unconfident in myself, and not very wise. The root cause of my decision was some kind of shyness or fear of responsibility or something. And now I regret being weak during that time and failing to step up to the next level in life, in a situation which had practically zero risk.

I remember that several months before this encounter, I prayed to God for a good wife because I wanted to start a family at a young age. And I believe that my prayers were answered then, and that this encounter was arranged by God. Coincidences they are not coincidences at all, rather they are deterministic occurances of which the primitive human mind cannot recognize as such. God answers our prayers if we pray sincirely and walk on the right path. Unfortunetely I didn't recognize that encounter for what it actually was at that time. And I failed to step up and continue to walk on the right path that God subtly guided me onto, via multiple incredible coincidences. Now after analyzing this encounter, I can conclude that she really was a good traditional Orthodox girl, that she wasn't faking or acting. I just compounded my error my telling myself that it wasn't the real deal, but that thought was actually a lie. I think that my indecisivenes and shyness during that time can be considered as a sin, and the root cause was unwillingness to step up and gain a responsibility. Because after that my life started falling apart as some time shortly after that I broke my leg, and then I lost my 3 bedroom house that I had in a rural area, and now stuck to living in apartments again.
Now I understand that when I prayed I made a commitment of some kind, and by not following up on my side, after God indeed did follow up on his side, I was disrespecting the commitment, it wasn't sincere ... and so I lost everything that had been given to me so far.

So what can we learn from this? This my story indirectly proves or supports the notion of a very personal God who listens to his people, and arranges circumstances by some means unknown (perhaps the so-called Mandela Effect?), to reward his people people with responsibilties, which are the best kinds of rewards because they are conducive to creativity and productivity, which is what God wants to see of us (unlike the rewards given by Satan, which only degrade people). And when we don't keep our side of the agreement, we are placed down to square one as a way to learn a lesson. Rejecting a reward is equivalent to disrespect to the giver. And trying to make your own path without God's help feels like three time as hard. There are indeed good traditional women in the modern western society. But don't depend on yourself totally to get one.
Because a good wife is from God! So depend on God and follow his good path to have success. For me, I know whether I am following on God's path or not, by listening to my soul. It's a still small voice. Because our soul comes to God, and is connected at all times. So before doing any decision, no matter how small, pause and ask your still small voice (everyone has one), "Should I do this or not?" And if the answer is yes, then go do it with all your heart, give it all you got! Listening to your still small voice is like a muscle that you can practice, the more times you do this, the stronger and clearer it will be heard. It's like a compass that tells you where you need to go, if only you would stop and listen! Oh how good it is having something like that, a "cheat code" that helps you navigate this life! Too many times I didn't heed that voice because of laziness, or fear, or arrogance, or lying to myself that something isn't so. Anyway, when I talked with this girl at the table, I heard this voice clearly telling me, from the depths of my soul, to get her number or somehow follow up and get to know her. Now I regret it, because I didn't just affect my life, but hers as well. I don't know where she is now, maybe she is single, but an even worse thing is that if she somehow got into a relationship with a worldly bad man, someone who is not sharing her percieved Orthodox values, which indirectly could have been caused by me, so I feel responsible for that. Although maybe that is just arrogance, wanting to feel important. But one thing that I've learned in life so far is that God wants us to be important, not in terms of titles of titles like a North Korean general who covers his entire chest in medals, but rather God wants us to be over achievers, being important because of our deeds, not our titles that we didn't earn. God wants us to go out and do great things that would glorify God, because we are made in His image! It's like the parable of the talents. Jesus wants us to develop and multiply our talents to our full potential, instead of burying them in the ground. And I believe that love (altruistic service) in romantic relationships is one of such talents. It should not be ignored. Absistence is prefferable to fornication yes, but maintaining a good relationship based on deep mutual love, making compromises, and shedding away your pride like a snake skin, is prefferable to absistence. Any good thing or talent can be subverted and used for sin and evil.

I've had too many coincidences to just write off, that I'm considering subtle divine intervention as an explanation. Several semesters later I was running through the hallways to get to a professor's office hours. And as I was running, suddenly a door opened, and a girl (different one than last time) walked outright in front of me. I was just a few feet away from her. If I kept running, I would have softly crashed into her ... my momentum coincided with hers in such way that I would have unwittingly come into her arms in a kind of embracement, not on purpose though, but as an incredible coincidence! However I once again went off the script, suddenly stopping to a halt instead. I think that the root cause was to avoid a possible embarassment, a faux pas. It was basically lying to myself, denying my nature, in favorable of bending events
into a more "socially correct" encounter, according to whose standards exactly? It wasn't the still small voice in my soul that was doing the decision, but rather a kind of laziness, or fear, or denial. Not going with the flow, not trusting the sequence of events that God has arranged for you, means not trusting God. It is a sinful if you reject God's will, and think that instead you can decide according to your own feelings to conform to social norms and what not. You try playing God ... you end up playing yourself instead. And you end up having to do it the hard way.

Take care, be blessed, listen to your soul your still small voice, and go according to God's path. Some things to think about. Maybe useful but for whom?
Great story. I believe that we should pray, listen to our small voices, and strike while the iron's hot. Virtuous Christian women like this are rare to be found - you can approach 500 girls a year and a girl like her will only happen to you once or twice, maybe. If God gives you an opportunity to get a good wife, you have to be bold enough to make sure it doesn't become a miss of a lifetime.
 

Stoyan

Pelican
Orthodox
Great story. I believe that we should pray, listen to our small voices, and strike while the iron's hot. Virtuous Christian women like this are rare to be found - you can approach 500 girls a year and a girl like her will only happen to you once or twice, maybe. If God gives you an opportunity to get a good wife, you have to be bold enough to make sure it doesn't become a miss of a lifetime.
The thing is, that before this encounter I haven't approached any girls at all in college, exactly zero of them (because I was shy and unconfident). Which brings me to the thought that it was a kind of divine intervention rather than a dumb coincidence. You can approach 500 girls a year, but if you're not working with God, then you're pretty much on your own, so your chance of finding a virtuous Christian woman diminishes rather rapidly when you decide to reject God and try to go it your own way. Maybe that is how people end up in bad relationships?

When writing this story I have experienced such a joy that I haven't experienced in a long time. Because I got my feelings out, and objectively evaluated my actions, and came to terms with my mistakes, and came to terms with God's will, and reaffirmed to myself and others about how to act according to God's will and how to practically recognize it in life every day. I'm glad that you found my story useful or interesting.
 
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Sooth

Pelican
Gold Member
God sends you the girl that fits you.

You can take them or leave them. Free choice.

Has happened twice in my life, and I brushed them off, probably to my determent.
 

Blade Runner

Hummingbird
Orthodox
God sends you the girl that fits you.

You can take them or leave them. Free choice.

Has happened twice in my life, and I brushed them off, probably to my determent.
This is possible, I can't say for sure that I didn't deny a couple that were marriage material, at least (if I'm honest). I don't believe in the transactional nature of looking at things as some of the above have posted, however. I believe in a probability aspect of the world, which is in line with when presented with XYZ, what do you do?

My larger complaint with the modern day is the slim pickings that present themselves, since compatibility is not an easy thing to come across if you only have a handful of reasonable meets/options. The proof of this point is that other countries (I'm from the US) clearly have more feminine and a far greater number of options (age ranges) for what men desire (and women will follow a good man for the other traits) which makes me skeptical that all of this is "God appointed" as opposed to just increasing probability in one way or another, however easy or hard that may be.
 

Easy_C

Peacock
There's parables that condemn the "just sit back and let god do it" attitude.

Don't. You do what you can to be prepared for the opportunity when it presents themselves, and work to find opportunities. Effort, luck, and providence all work together.
 

Adrian

 
Banned
Orthodox Catechumen
God provides everything a bird needs to survive and thrive, but it doesn't deliver it to their nest. Roosh is right about birds theyre a good illustration of how to live right
 

MichaelWitcoff

Hummingbird
Orthodox
Guys have no idea what a sacramental marriage is about until they’re actually in one. And God will send you the woman who is best for your salvation, your being the best for hers, regardless of preconceived notions or what you think marriage is about or supposed to be about.
 
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