Hinge dating app or no dating apps?

[SingularityOne]

I’m a 26 year old and I’ve looked around this forum and have seen that dating apps are not recommended due to the low odds of finding a quality woman. However, I’m trying to figure out if they are totally a bad idea considering they are just another “pool” of women I may not meet in another social setting.

What would y’all say are the major pros and cons to dating apps if you were looking at them from an objective angle (more particularly from that vantage point of a mid-20’s male)? I honestly want to be convinced to not use them, but I think they do have some utility.

If a mid-20’s male would be advised against using dating apps due to more cons than pros, what would be the best way to go about finding a quality woman other than (or maybe, in addition to) Hinge/dating apps?

edit: I’m an Orthodox Christian and want to trust God’s will in this process. However, I know faith is living and active and not passive. So I want to know how I can be active in the dating process so as to be a quality man myself at the same time.

 

[Gradient]

There's a meme for that:

 

[Seeker79]

Go on the app and find out instead of asking the forum.

 

[Bluto]

Don't waste your time and youth on Hinge, Tinder, or any of these bullshit dating/hookup apps. The women who are on there generally are either desperate, or attention whores who are using you as their daily pick me up. Short of being a super stud at the top 1% of all men it is not worth it. Go out and meet women the traditional way, bars, social clubs, parks, etc. You will get better results than anything online.

 

[SingularityOne]

Don't waste your time and youth on Hinge, Tinder, or any of these bullshit dating/hookup apps. The women who are on there generally are either desperate, or attention whores who are using you as their daily pick me up. Short of being a super stud at the top 1% of all men it is not worth it. Go out and meet women the traditional way, bars, social clubs, parks, etc. You will get better results than anything online.

Good to know. I do all of those other things too “social clubs, parks, etc.” I realize hypergamy functions hard on those apps, so that’s where this comes from. I hate “hunting” for women though even though approaching doesn’t phase me as much anymore. It’s easy just walking up to people and being authentic even though it’s exhausting to keep seeking women. The apps are just so much easier. But, not to say the “easy” way is the “best” way in saying this. It seems like a “catch-22” nowadays.

 

[fortyfive]

I never used these apps, but just from curiosity, what people are in (EU) I checked once, what I think it was Badoo app. I don't know what algorithms they are using to sort people, but first search results by any criteria (women, men) were always visually attractive "heavily stylized" sorts of people. Clearly, very different from later results, with just regular girls and guys.
Probably most people were searching/contacting for these "model" people, and that was the reason for being in the top results.

But except those attention-seeking, flashy people, it seems to me from pictures and description, there were also ordinary girls with normal pictures not trying to imitate Kim Kardashian or similar crap.

Maybe I'm wrong, but statistically, some part of the still normal girls is probably using these apps.

 

[No⁃Designation Man]

edit: I’m an Orthodox Christian and want to trust God’s will in this process. However, I know faith is living and active and not passive. So I want to know how I can be active in the dating process so as to be a quality man myself at the same time.

Then however you choose to proceed, whether by modern dating apps or the 'old school' way, just first make sure that all the women you're going to approach have the most important "Gods's will" foundation with you:

1 Corinthians 7:39.
2 Corinthians 6:14.

 

[Blade Runner]

Without definitely saying never, I would say no. The issue is overwhelmingly regional first, then countrywide, then worldwide (least so since most places aren't spoiled, feminist influenced west - or to anywhere near the degree). The problem is that when you are in your 20s in the west, you have the most chances or social connections for something to happen: the natural ones, not the online stuff. The issue with that is women are told not to be looking for a husband then, and generally guys at that age know much less. As you get to max value 30-50, not only do social connections markedly diminish, you start shaking your head more as you are deservedly more selective (your value is increasing) and women are clearly more of a squeeze that you learn is in most cases (not all) a real suboptimal scenario or even outright headache (sour juice).

 

[SingularityOne]

I never used these apps, but just from curiosity, what people are in (EU) I checked once, what I think it was Badoo app. I don't know what algorithms they are using to sort people, but first search results by any criteria (women, men) were always visually attractive "heavily stylized" sorts of people. Clearly, very different from later results, with just regular girls and guys.
Probably most people were searching/contacting for these "model" people, and that was the reason for being in the top results.

But except those attention-seeking, flashy people, it seems to me from pictures and description, there were also ordinary girls with normal pictures not trying to imitate Kim Kardashian or similar crap.

Maybe I'm wrong, but statistically, some part of the still normal girls is probably using these apps.

Yeah, I’ve observed something similar on Hinge. Even if it’s a small subset of the people on there (being able to filter them to “Christian”) seems to help somewhat... but not much regarding what you say here.

 

[SingularityOne]

Then however you choose to proceed, whether by modern dating apps or the 'old school' way, just first make sure that all the women you're going to approach have the most important "Gods's will" foundation with you:

1 Corinthians 7:39.
2 Corinthians 6:14.

Agreed for the second verse. Not sure how the first verse ties into this.

 

[SingularityOne]

Without definitely saying never, I would say no. The issue is overwhelmingly regional first, then countrywide, then worldwide (least so since most places aren't spoiled, feminist influenced west - or to anywhere near the degree). The problem is that when you are in your 20s in the west, you have the most chances or social connections for something to happen: the natural ones, not the online stuff. The issue with that is women are told not to be looking for a husband then, and generally guys at that age know much less. As you get to max value 30-50, not only do social connections markedly diminish, you start shaking your head more as you are deservedly more selective (your value is increasing) and women are clearly more of a squeeze that you learn is in most cases (not all) a real suboptimal scenario or even outright headache (sour juice).

Given this is the case, what would you advise a 26 year old to do taking all of this into account? Build social circles and not focus on dating apps?

 

[Hombre de hielo]

So far, I see apps and dating sites like 'repections' (2nd-ranking suitors)!

 

[SingularityOne]

So far, I see apps and dating sites like 'repections' (2nd-ranking suitors)!

Repections?

 

[Hombre de hielo]

Repections?

*Repechage!

They are people who do not get someone of relevance in their daily life.

 

[Mr.Anderson]

Maybe it works for someone, most of men are invisible in these kind of apps.
Like 5% of more attractive men get 90% of matches and messages.

 

[marknreprisal]

If a woman is on apps, she's damaged . . . its a surety. They're only good for one thing, casual sex disguised as a relationship!

 

[kel]

While I generally agree with the sentiment, a lot of women really simply don't know where to meet (good) men, and vice versa, and the apps are "dating as a service" essentially. It's like a utility. I'm not saying this is a good thing, it's a symptom of a much larger problem in a terminally ill society, but the fact remains that large swaths of the population are so utterly deracinated and atomized and poorly socialized that they don't know how or where to make relationships even if they want them. To be honest, I kinda number myself among them and I think a lot of guys here are in the same boat - very good at, essentially, pick up, but not wanting to bother with that dopamine chase anymore, but also surrounded by nothing but potential hookups (and nothing more). There are definitely, relatively speaking, "good girls" on dating apps, just like there are good girls buying crap on Amazon. Amazon is the store, Tinder is the dating market.

 

[Easy_C]

There's some good stuff to be found on SITES, not apps. You want a Catholic site with access locked behind a pay wall.

 

[Blade Runner]

There's some good stuff to be found on SITES, not apps. You want a Catholic site with access locked behind a pay wall.

This is the reason why it's even harder in the west for orthodox; the catholics have far more numbers and a good guilt complex to keep their traditions going, and so do the jews, who are just better at group identity and putting such things together. The orthodox and single website is the closest thing to it, and is a valiant effort, but is small and mostly older women, with some fake invaders - not enough people and a command to make it reasonable for a lot to try it out (even though it isn't expensive).

 

[Blade Runner]

While I generally agree with the sentiment, a lot of women really simply don't know where to meet (good) men, and vice versa, and the apps are "dating as a service" essentially. It's like a utility. I'm not saying this is a good thing, it's a symptom of a much larger problem in a terminally ill society, but the fact remains that large swaths of the population are so utterly deracinated and atomized and poorly socialized that they don't know how or where to make relationships even if they want them. To be honest, I kinda number myself among them and I think a lot of guys here are in the same boat - very good at, essentially, pick up, but not wanting to bother with that dopamine chase anymore, but also surrounded by nothing but potential hookups (and nothing more). There are definitely, relatively speaking, "good girls" on dating apps, just like there are good girls buying crap on Amazon. Amazon is the store, Tinder is the dating market.

I totally agree with this and feel the same way. As an orthodox it's even harder than for most, as I've indicated. As an orthodox that's successful and very traditional, it's nearly impossible to find someone suitable as a mate especially since I've encountered the age gap shaming american crap in most people's attitudes or minds - even "orthodox" people.