Hinge dating app or no dating apps?

[nathan]

Wait so even girls need to click-->wait 10 days and then read? Is that a paywall thing? Can they see the profile but not the text?

Yeah, if the women are not paying members then they must click --> wait 10 days, then read. And no, they cannot see the profile pic of whoever sent the message either, according to their instruction video. So it's basically worthless to message a non-paying member lol (and you can't tell who is paying or non-paying ahead of time when you message them either).

 

[Feyoder]

Yeah, if the women are not paying members then they must click --> wait 10 days, then read. And no, they cannot see the profile pic of whoever sent the message either, according to their instruction video. So it's basically worthless to message a non-paying member lol (and you can't tell who is paying or non-paying ahead of time when you message them either).

That's unbelievably stupid

 

[Blade Runner]

I agree Blade, I have big issue right now. Since I renounce world lust I become depress and get nothing in female attention because i come off meek. When I sin last week, I very aggressive and go after female, I kiss touch her and we fornicate.

I been pray for more year for holy pious wife to get marry have family...nothing. So I get depress lonely and then fornicate. I not sure I patient enough for this.

Also good point women respond power, aggression, masculine, not weak. Most women see Christian weak. Maybe because fallen world? I do not know answer but I always have more success when aggressive and holy Christian women reject all the time.

I dont think I can do celibacy.

The best we can do is struggle and pray. The teaching would be to deny ourselves, and we are probably still rebelling most of the time if not in our approach entirely, Lord have mercy on us. The fallen world with any hint of feminism exacerbates the guile or chaos of the feminine to degrees that are very hard to overcome at all at this point, I'm sad to say. Attention is a drug to them and if they are in shape at all in a world where most people aren't, they get crazy attention because so many men are around in general, and then technology made that a preposterous clown world of attention, since in this culture they aren't checked/shamed/corralled.

We may be biased due to the fact that we are here talking about this stuff, which on some level declares us as isolated - it is true. I've said it before, I think my biggest problems are these: as an older guy the social connections aren't there at all, you ask why even bother using the energy you have on marginally pleasant women who cost you a lot in time and money, and (mostly) these same women are barely humbled by the time they are early to mid 30s.

I was actually thinking about this, and I'm quite serious - I don't even care so much about the "how many partners" she had previously, as much as I am concerned about age/youth/fertility/beauty. But these coincide with less partners too (younger women), so it's sorta the same thing you are seeking. If I'm going to give my accumulated wealth, wisdom, and attention to a woman, at least give me a girl in her 20s. I don't see myself backing down from that, unless the girl was early 30s and actually took care of me like women used to (cook, clean etc). I don't see that though in modern america.

 

[Blade Runner]

That's unbelievably stupid

Sounds like a confused lottery! Who would have thought they could have made a lottery even harder.

 

[vstk]

Blade Runner : have you tried spending some time in Latin America? I suspect it'd be much easier to find what you are looking for. I find that 10 year age gaps do not put them off. 15-20 year should be quite doable too if you've got time and resources.

 

[OrthoMexicano]

Blade Runner : have you tried spending some time in Latin America? I suspect it'd be much easier to find what you are looking for. I find that 10 year age gaps do not put them off. 15-20 year should be quite doable too if you've got time and resources.

I agree but one big problem. Many women in culture married early, one who not may be big prostitute and gringo never know. I see some like this women 30 year old many problem but attractive and dirty then they get older gringo who not know what he run into, she take for large bankroll.

So yes possible with age gap but suggest lot of research with family first, best if dad vouch for her.

 

[Trudarknez]

I never got any luck with dating apps.
Never got any matches on Tinder and most people on it make me doubt it's actually useful.
Tried OKC, never got any matches and most likes I got were from the Philipines for some reason.
You could give it a shot but don't expect much.

I used to do well on Tinder in like 2012-2014. It seems girls were less picky. Tinder was new and it was like they had no idea how to calibrate their hypergamy to it. A few years in it was dominated by women and I think the algorithm became "improved" as in: improved for womens sexual strategy. In a way it was a glorious time before this. I remember girls would literally come to my house and had a lot of matches with hot girls. It still happens of course but not in such an easy way.

You could be a total bum and do good on Tinder back then. I remember a fat acquaintance was dating a lot of girls through Tinder in that time. OK looking girls as well. Now I think this is not so common.

Later in 2017 I went on Tinder again and had pretty good matches and had some dates here and there with cute girls. It was definitely harder eventhough my looks improved objectively. So it showed me the algorithm was more "tight".

It is very important to have good photos now. In the beginning I had bad photos and it was enough had no problems with matches. Now people are used to good photos (has been this way for a while now) and bad photos (incl. quality) are a no no. I think. Although if you are super good looking it probably does not matter either.

Sometimes it can take a while too before having a girl to meet up. But I notice if you keep going at it you will eventually meet up with women. So if you are completely useless in "game" and PUA I think it is worth it but make sure to look good presentable first with some good photos. At least you will have some chances with women vs. no chances. A lot of people do not do game or PUA and are lonely. For them to get out of a rut it can be a tool.

I have quit for now. I might return in the future. Who knows.

 

[Roquefort]

^+1 to Trudarknez above.

Bumble is the only dating app I would recommend to anyone today. Tinder is a waste of time and does not have a quality user base.

Tandem (a language-learning app) is also worth looking into. It is not a dedicated dating app, so you must be tactful, but this means that it draws a higher-quality crowd. Many of its user base are single and looking.

 

[Blade Runner]

Blade Runner : have you tried spending some time in Latin America? I suspect it'd be much easier to find what you are looking for. I find that 10 year age gaps do not put them off. 15-20 year should be quite doable too if you've got time and resources.

I'm just seeing this now ... if you put the @ I would be alerted, just a heads up.

I have and I know the language. As I put on other threads, the orthodox thing (long term) is sadly worst in the best place for women (Colombia) but that's also not a very loyal place. Friendly and outgoing, but sorta brainless low-ish trust society. I've also noted that the best and most interesting behavers of women there are ones that I out SMV being a european with the desired traits (esp for afro and mestizo types). I never say never, but ultimately I think EE is the best for me given orthodoxy or the propensity to it - the problem is that it's even further, geopolitically (arguably) worse, and I don't know slavic languages.

 

[Blade Runner]

I used to do well on Tinder in like 2012-2014. It seems girls were less picky. Tinder was new and it was like they had no idea how to calibrate their hypergamy to it. A few years in it was dominated by women and I think the algorithm became "improved" as in: improved for womens sexual strategy. In a way it was a glorious time before this. I remember girls would literally come to my house and had a lot of matches with hot girls. It still happens of course but not in such an easy way.

You could be a total bum and do good on Tinder back then. I remember a fat acquaintance was dating a lot of girls through Tinder in that time. OK looking girls as well. Now I think this is not so common.

Absolutely the case. I talked about this all the time, and travel was a corollary (for example, the last good years in Medellin were those) due to the end times coming as social media with smartphones ruined it all. Haha, the p delivery is hysterical and it's funny that it even happens, or happened, but that shows you how mindless and silly the culture is and women are, in general. After that period, and it's gone now (not trying to pub) the only thing one could hope to do was flip the script with an azúcar app/site, if you follow me. That's probably the only strategy to "date" which I don't believe in anymore, since it's all a spectrum of time/resources/banging that isn't good or worth it, generally speaking, for all involved. If you flip the script they are required to be in line, and it's much more straight forward, though. Sad but true. I find modern city dating to be washed up, old girls who are salty and who do a lot of the breaking up themselves because they are so used to it. 35+ women should be looking for 50 year olds, minimum, and they think they can get age associated guys. Good luck with that lol

I have quit for now. I might return in the future. Who knows.

Yeah, it's not worth it. Get your passport ready, if you can, or they ever allow it again.

 

[nathan]

Probably going to quit Catholic Match soon. Just not very many attractive women in my area anymore on there. I messaged all of them and if none reply in 10 days (the waiting period for free members), I'll probably just give up on that. I had been active on there a year ago before taking a long break, and there were far more back then, but I guess they all left.

I know as Christians we are supposed to try to be less concerned with physical attractiveness and instead prioritize other qualities, but I find it difficult to not at least include physical attractiveness as a necessary condition (along with those other qualities). Does anyone have any advice about this? I want a 9 or 10 for a wife, but that may only be my will and not God's.

 

[Seeker79]

Probably going to quit Catholic Match soon. Just not very many attractive women in my area anymore on there. I messaged all of them and if none reply in 10 days (the waiting period for free members), I'll probably just give up on that. I had been active on there a year ago before taking a long break, and there were far more back then, but I guess they all left.

I know as Christians we are supposed to try to be less concerned with physical attractiveness and instead prioritize other qualities, but I find it difficult to not at least include physical attractiveness as a necessary condition (along with those other qualities). Does anyone have any advice about this? I want a 9 or 10 for a wife, but that may only be my will and not God's.

If Dalrock's old writings showed anything, it's that Catholic women tend give secular women a run for their money when it comes to delusional dating standards.

 

[nathan]

If Dalrock's old writings showed anything, it's that Catholic women tend give secular women a run for their money when it comes to delusional dating standards.

I only started reading the manosphere at the tail end of his writing, so unfortunately I never read much of his stuff.

But I have a Tinder that I use for testing photos (I have it set to a city 1000 miles away), and I have no problem getting likes from 7s and 8s and the occasional 9 or 10 but on CatholicMatch it's like pulling teeth to get any replies from 6s, never mind 7+.

 

[Seeker79]

I only started reading the manosphere at the tail end of his writing, so unfortunately I never read much of his stuff.

But I have a Tinder that I use for testing photos (I have it set to a city 1000 miles away), and I have no problem getting likes from 7s and 8s and the occasional 9 or 10 but on CatholicMatch it's like pulling teeth to get any replies from 6s, never mind 7+.

I have my theory (just a theory) that women who piously wait for marriage and men often sabotage their expectations by having unrealistic standards. Perhaps they think "Oh I've waited so long God, surely I deserve only the most perfect male specimen as my lover, partner, and husband."

Of course behavioral economists have already figured this out long time ago as sunk cost fallacy. It is the idea that if we have paid with time, money, or energy in pursuit of something, then we must keep up it lest we lose all of our sunk costs. It is a fallacy because the past is irrecoverable, and the only thing that matters is the present. The sunk cost fallacy holds people in their misery because it works through our emotions. Strongest of them all is guilt because admitting we have wasted part of our life in pursuit of unworthy just sucks.

Maybe Catholic women are especially prone to sunk cost fallacy because of the Catholic church's strong guilt based culture. This works doubly deep on women who have waited long for God to give them a perfect man. Whatever heavenly standards she (not God) has set her for man, she will not compromise on. Dalrock recognizes this "season of singleness" culture among Christian women. It's a strange marriage of feminism and modern Christianity.

 

[nathan]

I have my theory (just a theory) that women who piously wait for marriage and men often sabotage their expectations by having unrealistic standards. Perhaps they think "Oh I've waited so long God, surely I deserve only the most perfect male specimen as my lover, partner, and husband."

Of course behavioral economists have already figured this out long time ago as sunk cost fallacy. It is the idea that if we have paid with time, money, or energy in pursuit of something, then we must keep up it lest we lose all of our sunk costs. It is a fallacy because the past is irrecoverable, and the only thing that matters is the present. The sunk cost fallacy holds people in their misery because it works through our emotions. Strongest of them all is guilt because admitting we have wasted part of our life in pursuit of unworthy just sucks.

Maybe Catholic women are especially prone to sunk cost fallacy because of the Catholic church's strong guilt based culture. This works doubly deep on women who have waited long for God to give them a perfect man. Whatever heavenly standards she (not God) has set her for man, she will not compromise on. Dalrock recognizes this "season of singleness" culture among Christian women. It's a strange marriage of feminism and modern Christianity.

I like your theory better than Dalrock's theory (or rather, his commenter's theory), which seems to attribute a sinful motive to the women delaying marriage (which itself I don't think is a sin but I would need to consult Church authorities before claiming that for certain).

But yeah, I agree. Of the responses I have gotten on CatholicMatch, all but a couple of them have come from women under 25. Between 26 and 31 seems to have a significantly lower response rate, and I know from my old school secular red pill sources that women, despite lower SMV in their upper 20s and early 30s, have much higher standards. I don't think Christian women are immune to this, even genuinely pious ones.

Or maybe my CatholicMatch profile is just trash (but according to their forums I do have a relatively high response rate; they talk about their members sometimes waiting like 8 years before finding someone on there)

 

[vstk]

I never say never, but ultimately I think EE is the best for me given orthodoxy or the propensity to it - the problem is that it's even further, geopolitically (arguably) worse, and I don't know slavic languages.

Divorce rates in slavic countries are terrifying. I do not believe there are many Christian believers left. If you take Moscow, there are almost exactly as many divorces as there are marriages (6% less…). This place seems rotten to me.

 

[san26]

Do you believe it is a red flag when a girl you are in a relationship with is friends with and hangs out with her ex-boyfriend's sister? This was her one long time boyfriend for about 4 yrs, thanks for any advice you can offer

 

[Seeker79]

Do you believe it is a red flag when a girl you are in a relationship with is friends with and hangs out with her ex-boyfriend's sister? This was her one long time boyfriend for about 4 yrs, thanks for any advice you can offer

I wouldn't read it into too much. People end up being friends for various reasons. Assume that the sister lives her own life.

 

[OrthoMexicano]

Do you believe it is a red flag when a girl you are in a relationship with is friends with and hangs out with her ex-boyfriend's sister? This was her one long time boyfriend for about 4 yrs, thanks for any advice you can offer

Yes, she still want to keep connection and tab on him. I hate to have to keep educating men here for fear they will keep call me black pill, but I am just realist.

We recently see post of:

Man's wife still keep in touch with multiple former lover.

Guy ask forum if dating single mom is ok.

And now this post. Have you confirm it just the sister and not the ex himself? How do you know?

If women do any of these thing she have zero respect for you. Chance are she hiding that is or was a total harlot.

 

[SlickyBoy]

I’m a 26 year old and I’ve looked around this forum and have seen that dating apps are not recommended due to the low odds of finding a quality woman. However, I’m trying to figure out if they are totally a bad idea considering they are just another “pool” of women I may not meet in another social setting.

What would y’all say are the major pros and cons to dating apps if you were looking at them from an objective angle (more particularly from that vantage point of a mid-20’s male)? I honestly want to be convinced to not use them, but I think they do have some utility.

If a mid-20’s male would be advised against using dating apps due to more cons than pros, what would be the best way to go about finding a quality woman other than (or maybe, in addition to) Hinge/dating apps?

edit: I’m an Orthodox Christian and want to trust God’s will in this process. However, I know faith is living and active and not passive. So I want to know how I can be active in the dating process so as to be a quality man myself at the same time.

Surprised to see this is brought up again, but the TL;DR is those apps are not geared towards you, they are geared towards her, and her vanity. Even if you were "successful" there, who are you being successful for, and what kind of interests do they have? They're not wife material, to put it mildly.

Get yourself into a position where you can meet quality candidates in real time, in real life.