How bad is is to marry an older woman?

Leonard D Neubache

Owl
Gold Member
It's silly, yes. But it's still an effective rule to live by. Presuming women cannot (reliably) procreate after 30 is akin to presuming that I cannot (reliably) do electrical work on my house without shutting the breakers off first.

Not 100% accurate, but a good rule to live by nonetheless.
 
women can have children after hitting 30. But its better for a woman to have first child before you turn 25. If you are a childless man under 45 you should only date women in the 18-25 age bracket. Cause you need at least 3 years to figure if this relationship works before conceiving your first child. So the girl needs to have time. If you are 45-58 years old you should be able to accept a woman 18-35 years old who either has no kids or 1 adult child (no more than that). She might have fertility problems in old age but you probably already have children of your own by that time. Once you are 60 and still single I guess its time to start dating women in their late 30s - early 40s.
 

Rob Banks

Pelican
RobertBryce said:
women can have children after hitting 30. But its better for a woman to have first child before you turn 25. If you are a childless man under 45 you should only date women in the 18-25 age bracket. Cause you need at least 3 years to figure if this relationship works before conceiving your first child. So the girl needs to have time. If you are 45-58 years old you should be able to accept a woman 18-35 years old who either has no kids or 1 adult child (no more than that). She might have fertility problems in old age but you probably already have children of your own by that time. Once you are 60 and still single I guess its time to start dating women in their late 30s - early 40s.
Seems like kind of an arbitrary number.
 
@MajorStyles, it's already been said here that when a woman has already had children at a young age(presumably 20s), her fertility carries over well into her 30s and even 40. Anecdotal evidence from users here (as well as people i know) prove this. This is a very different scenario from a woman who rode the carousel for well over a decade and wants to start having kids at 34 with external help from Modern medicine (lower her chances even more without intervention from modern medicine)...Good luck with that.
 

Rob Banks

Pelican
Augustus, what would you say to someone in my situation?

I know you read my other thread, so I won't discuss it here except to say that in the future, God willing, I might be trying to have kids with a woman who is 31 or 32 (possibly older), never had kids before, and has a medical condition that makes pregnancy risky for her (even at a young age).
 

Guy80

Pigeon
Laner said:
JohnQThomas said:
Laner wrote:
“Guys talking about wanting to marry a 130+ IQ women have probably never dated one. Or at least spent any time sleeping in the same bed as them. For many, their brains never quiet down and spend half the night in complete anxiety. Anecdotally, many use sex as a way to get to sleep and become addicted to the hormones released during and after orgasms.”

A wife who is “addicted” to sex? Sounds good to me. (What’s the alternative—a cold fish?)
There was more in there to unpack. The sex part is fine. It was the high anxiety and other side effects of a high IQ woman. The over analyzing. The constant research into things that should just 'get done'.

These are also things that come with age. As we get older, we also get wiser. So women who have a high IQ to begin with, are only going to get smarter with age. So unless there are some kids in her life, she will be stuck battling things in her own mind when she is done working her - likely - challenging job.
Recently broke it off with a smart girl (25). Virgin until after college. All spot on. Simply too much to deal with.
 

Papaya

Crow
Gold Member
Leonard D Neubache said:
PapayaTapper said:
I personally have no definitive proof that women past 31 even have vaginas much less viable uteri so I can contribute nothing to the topic
Yeah, you downed a bottle of Dom and cut some endangered Rhino horn into your coke, then she told you she was 25.

You checking IDs, killer? :laugh:

My days of randoms are long behind me and even then none even approached 30. But I suppose its possible. I sawed through plenty but never bothered to count the rings
 
bucky said:
Kid Twist said:
Let's just put this to rest, at least regarding pregnancy: generally the issue is more of carrying children at these ages, rather than the genetic defects. There is overlap but mostly the nulliparous woman has an aged uterus that is not that hospitable to implantation (and furthermore hasn't been suppled by prior progesterone exposure etc from a prior pregnancy). Also, genetic issues exponentially combine to stop implantation, but even though risk goes up greatly, it is the relative risk that goes up when comparing 35+ women to 25 year olds, for example. Even around age 39 for a woman the risk of Trisomy 21 is 0.8%. Compared to a 25 year old, that is about a 8-fold relative risk. Sounds horrible, until you realize 99% of the births of the 39 year old lady will not end up in a Down syndrome kid, let's say. Understanding the practical implication of statistics matters, therefore. Back to my point: the issue is implantation (conception).

This is what is so maddening about the SMV and age gap issue of males and females. When you take into consideration that pairing, dating, and marriage take at least a couple of years time to accomplish, if you want any sort of big family (3 is big???) you mathematically can only really do this with a woman at age 30, at the oldest. Sure, there will be exceptions, but it's just not practical, or smart.

I know people that spend lots of 5 figure payments on trying to have 1 kid, lol, due to challenging these biological and/or mathematical realities.
If I understood you correctly, you're saying that a woman in her late 30s who has already had a few kids is much more likely to get pregnant than one of the same age who has never been pregnant before. Is that right?
Rob Banks said:
Augustus, what would you say to someone in my situation?

I know you read my other thread, so I won't discuss it here except to say that in the future, God willing, I might be trying to have kids with a woman who is 31 or 32 (possibly older), never had kids before, and has a medical condition that makes pregnancy risky for her (even at a young age).

I would say that the situation is not as bleak for women in their early 30s (before 35) if they took care of themselves. Although fertility dips after 30 (insert google graph here), I still believe it is possible if the woman has lived a healthy lifestyle. This means a few things:

First, she was not promiscuous in her youth. This means she never caught a venereal disease that lowers fertility (even after its cured from the female body)

Second, she never used birth control. if she did, it was for a minimal amount of time <1 year, before it did any major damage to her endocrine system.

Three, followed good eating habits, especially eating healthy fats(Fish, grass-fed meats, minimally processed foods, taking her needed vitamins and minerals).

Four, "stress free" and generally happy("happy gene") From the sources i've read over the past 2 years, stress is a major reason why women cannot conceive. This does not surprise me as today's woman is completely stressed from working a soulless 9-5 job she was not built to withstand like a man can, as well as the weekend binge drink and recovery.

Five, Was not/is not a big drinker, and a NON-SMOKER (this is really important as smoking permanently damages eggs)

Yes, the above four information is arbitrary. Unfortunately, this info has to be extrapolated using common sense as we cannot rely on science, because Big Science cannot give us reasons why fertility rates are dropping like an anvil, just like this recent CNN article in regards to male fertility:

Big Science cannot answer why Male fertility is dropping

At the same time, studies show a concurrent decline in testosterone levels -- the hormone needed to build a man's muscle and bone mass and boost his sex drive. ame
Why? No one knows for sure. Debate rages about the role of radiation, air pollution and chemicals in our food, clothes and water. Smoking, alcohol consumption and obesity likely all play a role.


There are resources out there on how to naturally improve a woman's chances of conceiving a child such as this youtube channel and a book she has written, along with the woman eating a diet geared towards improving fertility and removing all toxins/inflammatory's

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCD67LfNcId5Pf9iZUPM5Jkg

Also, it doesnt hurt for the man to start living a healthy lifestyle as well, similar to the woman. This includes working out, eating right, living a less stressful life (getting closer to God), cutting all poisons to the body, etc. If your partner/wife doesnt get pregnant within 6 months, i would highly suggest for the man and woman to have fertility test done.
 

kel

Pelican
An unattached woman with no kids at 30 who's not promiscuous, never used birth control, has eaten right, lived a joyful life, and hasn't binge drank or smoked.

What color unicorn do you prefer?
 

PixelFree

Kingfisher
Kid Twist said:
Yes, she is also at much less risk for many diseases (mainly cancer) as opposed to the woman who had no kids in her life, too.
Wow... never heard of this.

This info would make a great meme, a pro 'have a family while you are young' red-pill meme aimed at women.
 

PixelFree

Kingfisher
BTW, awesome thread. It's really helped me in a current situation I'm in. There is a 35-36 year old 9 who is showing me lots of interest and stacks up in many other ways (no kids, traditional upbringing/values, healthy life, slim figure, pleasant, etc etc) but I was on the fence about the age. Seems like my instinct was correct. I just kept thinking we'd need to fast track our courting and get straight too it - it really would add a lot of pressure to the relationship.

Also, on this courtship period, I'm starting to think I'm probably better to conceive with my future wife whilst we are still in that happy honeymoon period (say within the 12-18 month period).

Kind of a 'burn the boats' strategy that'll prevent me from losing interest and ending things at the 18-24 mark which I have a history of. I'm quite good at screening and identifying wife-able qualities (could do this within 6-9 months), but then shoot myself in the foot after courting too long (or wasn't ready to settle down previously).

What are our thoughts here?
 

MajorStyles

Kingfisher
Leonard D Neubache said:
It's silly, yes. But it's still an effective rule to live by. Presuming women cannot (reliably) procreate after 30 is akin to presuming that I cannot (reliably) do electrical work on my house without shutting the breakers off first.

Not 100% accurate, but a good rule to live by nonetheless.

I would not disagree with that, Leonard. And from my perspective/experience, women age like milk - both physically and emotionally. Basically, a woman is on a downward trajectory after the age of 18 and only patriarchal headship can give her life a true meaning. This "rescue" should, ideally, occur in her mid twenties.

And as you allude to, it's best to follow general rules in this regard. From my perspective, it's possible to find a good woman in her early thirties, but the percetage will be much lower on that score. And, at the end of the day, percentages are significant. Las Vegas was built on that concept.
 
The main gist of the posters here never was that women cannot have kids after 30, I don't know where that simpleton conclusion was reached. Countless including myself gave the larger picture, supported by biology and with pertinent stats.

As far as what one wants out of life, I don't think very many here, or anyone at all, disagrees that the key is to get the mid 20s girls at latest. The consensus is that this is so you can actually see if it will work out, and then plan to move ahead without anxiety or other issues that may arise.
 

Dilated

Robin
At 35 a woman is too much of a liability when it comes to starting a family. Imagine being a well-put together man with substantial assets that marries a 35 yr. old woman and it turns out she cannot conceive. Or she changed her mind.

You can correct the issue through divorce but it’s going to cost you financially and more-so emotionally.

Going younger (sub-30) alleviates that but I think that’s difficult in USA if you’re pushing 40. The options aren’t great at this point.
 
kel said:
An unattached woman with no kids at 30 who's not promiscuous, never used birth control, has eaten right, lived a joyful life, and hasn't binge drank or smoked.

What color unicorn do you prefer?
That gave me a good laugh. I guess it illustrates the hurdles and the long, long checklist a man has to cross when meeting a 30+ female huh? But hey, i'm sure there's a unicorn or two out there and in case one of us were to stumble on one, my advise stands.

PixelFree said:
BTW, awesome thread. It's really helped me in a current situation I'm in. There is a 35-36 year old 9 who is showing me lots of interest and stacks up in many other ways (no kids, traditional upbringing/values, healthy life, slim figure, pleasant, etc etc) but I was on the fence about the age. Seems like my instinct was correct. I just kept thinking we'd need to fast track our courting and get straight too it - it really would add a lot of pressure to the relationship.

Also, on this courtship period, I'm starting to think I'm probably better to conceive with my future wife whilst we are still in that happy honeymoon period (say within the 12-18 month period).

Kind of a 'burn the boats' strategy that'll prevent me from losing interest and ending things at the 18-24 mark which I have a history of. I'm quite good at screening and identifying wife-able qualities (could do this within 6-9 months), but then shoot myself in the foot after courting too long (or wasn't ready to settle down previously).

What are our thoughts here?
Yes, trust your instinct on this one. Almost 3 years ago, i was in the same boat you were and instead of trusting my instinct and red pill advice of not dating older women that I had read for years, I decided to make this older gal my GF. As I've said before, she was the most amazing women i've met, even to this day and coincidentally, she helped along my journey to find God again. Sadly, she could not conceive after over 2 1/2 years of us fornicating, which is when I cut things off. I wont go into details, but i'll just say she didnt quite check off some things on the list that posted on my last post, mainly the drinking and especially smoking (which is why im vehemently against smoking) led to her infertility at almost mid 30. Of course the doctors couldn't figure out anything and said it was "unexplained"...we all have to do our own research on this subject because LabCoats are not much help.

Back to your situation. At this point, do not let this woman get closer to you. This means you must cut off contact with her, no matter how hard it may be to do so. If she is amazing as you're making her out to be, the more you talk to her, the harder it will be to cut off the communication with her. Trust me on this one...If you cannot avoid speaking to her, then keep things strictly platonic. I cannot stress enough that you should not escalate things further or else you will find it hard to detach from her. Just think, even if you were to get with this woman, at best, you would have 1 kid, and this is if she doesn't have an empty egg carton...

As far as courtship goes, it seems the forum is coming to a consensus that you should marry and have kids with the woman you are "Dating" (Courting) by the 2 year mark. I'm a big believer that men come to know when to marry a woman rather quickly. I think 1 year is more than enough time to get to know a woman's morals, virtue (or lack thereof), goals (such as child bearing) etc and the Catholic videos i've seen so far on this subject also say 1 year. In my last relationship, i was heavily considering marriage even before the 1 year mark before the whole infertility thing. If she cannot imagine herself marrying you and having kids in 2 years, move on.
 

bucky

Pelican
kel said:
An unattached woman with no kids at 30 who's not promiscuous, never used birth control, has eaten right, lived a joyful life, and hasn't binge drank or smoked.

What color unicorn do you prefer?
To be fair, this describes my wife when I married her. That's why I married her. She's not American though, she's a churchgoing Latina from Central America. I don't know how common girls like that are in Mexico and Central America, but I know of at least a few more from my wife's country.
 

Leonard D Neubache

Owl
Gold Member
PixelFree said:
BTW, awesome thread. It's really helped me in a current situation I'm in. There is a 35-36 year old 9 who is showing me lots of interest and stacks up in many other ways (no kids, traditional upbringing/values, healthy life, slim figure, pleasant, etc etc) but I was on the fence about the age. Seems like my instinct was correct. I just kept thinking we'd need to fast track our courting and get straight too it - it really would add a lot of pressure to the relationship.

Also, on this courtship period, I'm starting to think I'm probably better to conceive with my future wife whilst we are still in that happy honeymoon period (say within the 12-18 month period).

Kind of a 'burn the boats' strategy that'll prevent me from losing interest and ending things at the 18-24 mark which I have a history of. I'm quite good at screening and identifying wife-able qualities (could do this within 6-9 months), but then shoot myself in the foot after courting too long (or wasn't ready to settle down previously).

What are our thoughts here?
It's a powerful experience to see your wife with your son or daughter in her arms knowing that it's half her and half you. If you still have the spark of a human soul left in you then hopefully any thoughts of cutting and running will disappear for good.
 

bucky

Pelican
Augustus_Principe said:
Back to your situation. At this point, do not let this woman get closer to you. This means you must cut off contact with her, no matter how hard it may be to do so. If she is amazing as you're making her out to be, the more you talk to her, the harder it will be to cut off the communication with her. Trust me on this one...If you cannot avoid speaking to her, then keep things strictly platonic. I cannot stress enough that you should not escalate things further or else you will find it hard to detach from her. Just think, even if you were to get with this woman, at best, you would have 1 kid, and this is if she doesn't have an empty egg carton...
Good advice. One of my closest friends is a guy I've known for about ten years who has game and who I've seen with several beautiful women over the years. He's successful and just over 40 now but looks younger and would typically date younger women. Then a couple years ago he was at a party and a fading beauty a few years older than him threw herself at him. Long story short, he's kept spending time with her even though at first they weren't formally exclusive. She's pretty much wormed her way into his life and he seems to have accepted it because he finds her "reliable" without really acknowledging how her cratering SMV factors into that.

It is what it is and I guess he finds it better than being alone or making the effort to find someone on the lower end of his 1/2+7 range. I suppose that after two years of de facto being together he genuinely cares about her, but in not too much time she'll be 50. If you want to avoid this with an older woman, as you said, you have to stop things in their tracks right away.
 

Mike_Key

Sparrow
If I had to give an answer of Thumbs up or down, I'd say down, overall.

Thumbs down

There are some caveats though. I'll share pros and cons.

First, you may be from different generations, if the age difference is 5 years. The music that you listened to growing up may be totally different, the type of parents that you had would or could draw your similarities further apart. This goes too for marrying outside of your race - family reunions will be around people that may not speak your language, etc.

As a guy, initially, you may not think about it but she'll have had other relationships and that might bother you outright or subtly as the years go by and you start to attribute those relationships of the past - affecting who she is today or past issues or habits arising.

Another caveat - if you marry a young woman then she may likely feel inferior to you and your brain power. This is important because then you may need to be the driver, so to speak, or the instigator, the governor and the worker bee on issues like business, permits, taxes, finances, etc. If you marry older, then you may encounter a wife that takes the lead on some of these issues, problems and topics. But nonetheless, it's good to have a pulse on your money issues and the household as leader.

I've known of two (2) guys that married older and both men were/are Business men. One guy owned his a company, he passed away years ago. The other is still alive and has many clients.

Well, of course they were both business men. These older women helped them with all the business dealings. The older woman with experience isn't bothered or anxious to walk into City Hall and obtain a business license. She isn't timid when filing taxes or walking into a Bank showing a business model or initial revenue generated numbers for the purpose of acquiring a business loan. She'll take that money and rent you space, an office, she'll buy you a Backhoe or Tractor, she'll hire for you a Secretary and a time keeper, she'll interview prospective employees and pull permits for you which takes 3 to 6 hours, she'll buy software to track your contracts. She'll run daily or weekly cash deposits to the bank for you. An 18-22 year old woman will likely not do these things for you.

The two guys that I know who fit this mold were: Him 18 and her 29, an 11 year age difference, while the other was 25 and her 43, so an 18 year age difference.

I have no clue what the 2nd woman did from age 18 to 43 but that couple had two (2) kids and obtained big contracts with a Mega firm. Yes, two kids between age 43 and 45 years of age. The wife was very beautiful and had a great personality but did that meek personality only come from finding herself unmarried without kids at age 43, I do not know.

The other couple that had an 11 year age difference, she was divorced with kids.

As for younger women, I've heard of younger women telling older men "You make my brain do back flips"; meaning that she realizes that she is not as smart as you. But as we all know, younger women physically look amazing, sometimes, and they are fertile. As for the looks, we'll I feel like adding a couple observations. I once saw three fat women in their 20s and 30s from this one family, I saw them at a distance. These three women were high school educated. Then shortly or immediately afterward, I saw the 60 year old matriarch of the family, college educated - a bachelors degree likely. That "put together" 60 year old thin lady with money, i.e. nice hair and make-up, made those younger women, of the family, look pathetic and disgusting. Now, having said that, I know very well that a beautiful and thin 21- 25 year old woman can have a strong visceral effect on a man. Provided that she, this younger thin woman, offers much more (faith, humility, etc.), I think this is when a man should marry.

Also, the concept of virginity is highly important, I truly believe. You come to realize this as you age.

So choose wisely.

I'm still overall thumbs down on marrying an older woman.

John 3:16
 
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