How can women possibly claim to have superior "emotional intelligence" to men?
- Thread starter Batman_
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I have met them - usually in poorer countries, and in the East. Hardship may develop virtue in both sexes, I think.
As for emotion, and men, I think men can be very emotional - and it is not something I think should be suppressed unless it leads to unproductive ends.
I think the difference lies in the fact that women are far more concerned about social standing than men are, for perceived safety. So to me the statement is:
"Have you ever met a very idiosyncratic female?" And I would say, apart from autists and such, no.
Women love to emphasize emotional intelligence because it is something that cannot be quantitatively measured. What makes one emotion good and another bad? How does one measure the value of an emotion,? It’s basically impossible. So they use the term “emotional intelligence” as an intellectual pussy pass, basically.
Also, it makes them feel equal to the great men of science: i.e. “Sure, Max Planck was a genius, but I am too because of feelings and stuff.”
Also, it makes them feel equal to the great men of science: i.e. “Sure, Max Planck was a genius, but I am too because of feelings and stuff.”
Rob Banks
Pelican
Because men and women are different, and each sex has its own strength and weaknesses.
Women are not emotionally stronger than men, but they are more intuitive and in tune with people’s emotions and vibes while men are more rational and logical.
Oftentimes, intuition and emotional awareness is more valuable (in certain situations) than logic and rationality, for example when caring for a young child.
Women are not emotionally stronger than men, but they are more intuitive and in tune with people’s emotions and vibes while men are more rational and logical.
Oftentimes, intuition and emotional awareness is more valuable (in certain situations) than logic and rationality, for example when caring for a young child.
I'm pretty cynical about this at my age. When you get older, you keep meeting different versions of the same type people over and over, so you're better able to see how they do what they do.
Women think they can read people better emotionally because they manipulate people better than men. When men talk facts, opinions, and ideas, they generally do so to get those points across. Women will often say things that are designed to get an emotional response. They then can "read" that response because they set up the scenario to begin with.
So, if you meet a woman and she starts talking (let's say) about her bra size or love for sex, you respond in a certain way. And, lo and behold, your response is no surprise to her. "Guys are so predictable!" she chirps. Hm...wonder why? It's almost like she planned that out.
The same goes for women who bring "damsel in distress" drama to the table right off the bat. Somehow, they were able to know you'd be there to rescue them. Imagine that. And so on.
Women have less physical strength, so they evolved to use emotional cunning to get what they want. Shame it took me so long to realize this.
Women think they can read people better emotionally because they manipulate people better than men. When men talk facts, opinions, and ideas, they generally do so to get those points across. Women will often say things that are designed to get an emotional response. They then can "read" that response because they set up the scenario to begin with.
So, if you meet a woman and she starts talking (let's say) about her bra size or love for sex, you respond in a certain way. And, lo and behold, your response is no surprise to her. "Guys are so predictable!" she chirps. Hm...wonder why? It's almost like she planned that out.
The same goes for women who bring "damsel in distress" drama to the table right off the bat. Somehow, they were able to know you'd be there to rescue them. Imagine that. And so on.
Women have less physical strength, so they evolved to use emotional cunning to get what they want. Shame it took me so long to realize this.
MovingForward2050
Pelican
I find it fascinating how men have used their intellects to figure out the truths behind female behaviors, within the red pill lens. I think feminists are so antagonistic against these men, because they feel uncovered and naked. But if anyone is stuck in a cognitive mind jam, it is feminists who refuse to seriously consider male perspectives on the battle of the sexes. I think women do have an advantage when it comes to emotional intelligence, but I think it tends to be over-rated by both sides.
Men use emotion like a rifle. They aim, and shoot. Sometimes they do a lot of damage, sometimes they don't, it depends on what they're shooting at. But they're mostly in control. They hit their target, reflect, then move on. Women are an unfocused fountain of emotional puke. They puke out emotions with no objective, direction or closure and unfortunately no one has invented a tampon for that particular excretion.
MovingForward2050
Pelican
They tend to use their emotions like a "dirty bomb" in my view, to control/bully men.
mr-ed209
Sparrow
It's funny how no one really applies/believes this statement to apply for older middle aged women.
I think for young attractive women in many social situations they get to make the rules because they're the ones with the value that everyone else wants. If they make a judgement on somebody, people fall in line because they're afraid they themselves will get ostracised in some manner. It's similar to the boss at work who everyone falls in line with, laughs at their jokes etc.
For many, it's subconscious they don't even realise what they're doing and they might justify someone who holds value over them as being charismatic, a good leader - or in the case of a woman 'emotionally intelligent'. But the reality is people just fall in line with those who have power, access to resources or higher status than themselves; it would be a bad life strategy to behave otherwise.
As women get older and lose their value, they start being perceived with less virtue; even as less intelligent and responsible etc - despite possessing the exact same character that was lauded during their 20s. They're usually not any of those things; but they are perceived to be by others, because others have subconsciously decided they no longer have much utility in associating with them.
I think for young attractive women in many social situations they get to make the rules because they're the ones with the value that everyone else wants. If they make a judgement on somebody, people fall in line because they're afraid they themselves will get ostracised in some manner. It's similar to the boss at work who everyone falls in line with, laughs at their jokes etc.
For many, it's subconscious they don't even realise what they're doing and they might justify someone who holds value over them as being charismatic, a good leader - or in the case of a woman 'emotionally intelligent'. But the reality is people just fall in line with those who have power, access to resources or higher status than themselves; it would be a bad life strategy to behave otherwise.
As women get older and lose their value, they start being perceived with less virtue; even as less intelligent and responsible etc - despite possessing the exact same character that was lauded during their 20s. They're usually not any of those things; but they are perceived to be by others, because others have subconsciously decided they no longer have much utility in associating with them.
MovingForward2050
Pelican
In my experience, I've encountered women who claim by getting older and losing their youthful beauty, that their more important qualities, like their intelligence and character, was finally properly noticed and respected by people. Before it was sort of like, "oh, you are so pretty, and so I will go along with whatever you want, just let me look at you!"
This.
“The fundamental defect of the female character is a lack of a sense of justice. This originates first and foremost in their want of rationality and capacity for reflexion but it is strengthened by the fact that, as the weaker sex, they are driven to rely not on force but on cunning: hence their instinctive subtlety and their ineradicable tendency to tell lies: for, as nature has equipped the lion with claws and teeth, the elephant with tusks, the wild boar with fangs, the bull with horns and the cuttlefish with ink, so it has equipped woman with the power of dissimulation as her means of attack and defence, and has transformed into this gift all the strength it has bestowed on man in the form of physical strength and the power of reasoning. Dissimulation is thus inborn in her and consequently to be found in the stupid woman almost as often as in the clever one. To make use of it at every opportunity is as natural to her as it is for an animal to employ its means of defence whenever it is attacked, and when she does so she feels that to some extent she is only exercising her rights. A completely truthful woman who does not practice dissimulation is perhaps an impossibility, which is why women see through the dissimulation of others so easily it is inadvisable to attempt it with them. – But this fundamental defect which I have said they possess, together with all that is associated with it, gives rise to falsity, unfaithfulness, treachery, ingratitude, etc. Women are guilty of perjury far more often than men. It is questionable whether they ought to be allowed to take an oath at all.”
-Arthur’s Schopenhauer’s On women
Full essay is worth a read just for the lulz...
-Arthur’s Schopenhauer’s On women
Full essay is worth a read just for the lulz...
Schopenhauer’s Famous Essay about Women (new translation, abridged)
An abridged version of the famous essay by Schopenhauer ‘On Women.’ This translation is more forthright than the usual one by T. Bailey Saunders.
www.heretical.com
The idea behind "emotional intelligence" is not that women can control their emotions better. The idea is that they can read emotions and and deal with other people on an emotional level.
The are two kernels of truth to this:
One: Women have the ability to nurture and comfort children, and other people they treat like children (for example, a nurse caring for patients).
Two: Women have a very keen intuition when it comes to their social standing. Women have an intuition about whether other people like them, or if men are strong enough to take care of them. When someone else's opinion of her changes for the worse, she can detect it before they have said anything. She can also smell the weakness in a man who is not strong enough to take care of her.
The are two kernels of truth to this:
One: Women have the ability to nurture and comfort children, and other people they treat like children (for example, a nurse caring for patients).
Two: Women have a very keen intuition when it comes to their social standing. Women have an intuition about whether other people like them, or if men are strong enough to take care of them. When someone else's opinion of her changes for the worse, she can detect it before they have said anything. She can also smell the weakness in a man who is not strong enough to take care of her.
It has not been my experience whatsoever that women in general have greater empathy or emotional intelligence than men.
Women say alot of things.
It's a shame though cause girls who are actually truly sweet and caring and empathetic in a certain kind of feminine way are like crack to men and modern women could become so much more attractive if they would even just fake having those qualities instead of pulling the I'm a bad bitch thing.
Women do have their own kind of power they are just pretty disconnected from it these days and instead think there is only masculine power and try to embody that instead. Which is something they are pretty ill equipped to do.
Women say alot of things.
It's a shame though cause girls who are actually truly sweet and caring and empathetic in a certain kind of feminine way are like crack to men and modern women could become so much more attractive if they would even just fake having those qualities instead of pulling the I'm a bad bitch thing.
Women do have their own kind of power they are just pretty disconnected from it these days and instead think there is only masculine power and try to embody that instead. Which is something they are pretty ill equipped to do.
Women are generally much more sensitive than men, they are geared towards sensing and judging more than thinking and acting. That is they are better at perceiving emotions in themselves and others but worse at controlling their emotions. I think these contrasting abilities of sensing/judging vs thinking/acting are fundamentally tied to feminine vs masculine energy.
Waverer
Robin
Bullseye. I have seen this first hand. This applies similarly to men who go on about emotional intelligence. There is no such thing, except a random configuration of multiple uncorrelated variables like neuroticism and extroversion.
I mostly agree that women do have more emotional intelligence than men, atleast more than young men and beta males. Alphas often have more than women.
'Emotional Intelligence' is a vague term so I should clarify what I mean...
When we evaluate some thing, the top level of evaluation is based on how the different parts of the whole fit together to form one complete thing. In such analysis we are looking at Balance. For example, a soccer player may have a great shot but be an average passer of the ball. Thus he may choose to shoot when it is better to pass thus not playing the game optimally. Another player who is average in both shooting and passing is not biased towards shooting thus is more balanced and can make better decisions when choosing between shooting and passing.
Women dont focus as much on improving individual skills like men do (physical strength, fitness, knowledge, logic, programming,science etc) and men are almost always better at these individual skills than women. However, men frequently value one aspect more than others, especially when they are young and still developing themselves. The final stage of development of men is not working on individual talents but understanding synergies between different skills and how they come together to form a whole. The Whole should be greater than the Sum.
Another issue in my opinion is that many men get married at a young age and then are just focused on making money and paying off the mortgate etc and therefore stop their self-improvement at the stage where they can develop into seasoned, balanced men. Thus, there are few mature role models for younger men. I think around 30-40 is when men are supposed to develop into well-rounded, balanced and emotionally intelligent men.
To be successful you need to control your emotions, to learn you let your emotions control you. Alphas and mature men control their emotions whereas young men and betas can let their emotions affect them more.
Women and Alphas: If I want to be successful I must START with positive emotions. I need to be in the correct emotional place BEFORE I attempt something. Emotions -> Outcome
Betas and young men: If I want positive emotions I must become successful. If I succeed in something THEN I will be in the correct emotional place. Outcome -> Emotions
Women and Alphas see their outcome dependant on their prior emotions. Betas and young men see their emotions as dependant on the outcome.
Women and Alphas spend more time in emotional reflection, they learn about themselves, and look from inward to outward. For women it is because they cannot really change the outside world much anyway due being less powerful than men, for Alphas it is because they already know about the outside world and their skills in it are already at a high level, so it is is more efficient for them to look inside given looking outside has diminishing returns at this point.
'Emotional Intelligence' is a vague term so I should clarify what I mean...
When we evaluate some thing, the top level of evaluation is based on how the different parts of the whole fit together to form one complete thing. In such analysis we are looking at Balance. For example, a soccer player may have a great shot but be an average passer of the ball. Thus he may choose to shoot when it is better to pass thus not playing the game optimally. Another player who is average in both shooting and passing is not biased towards shooting thus is more balanced and can make better decisions when choosing between shooting and passing.
Women dont focus as much on improving individual skills like men do (physical strength, fitness, knowledge, logic, programming,science etc) and men are almost always better at these individual skills than women. However, men frequently value one aspect more than others, especially when they are young and still developing themselves. The final stage of development of men is not working on individual talents but understanding synergies between different skills and how they come together to form a whole. The Whole should be greater than the Sum.
Another issue in my opinion is that many men get married at a young age and then are just focused on making money and paying off the mortgate etc and therefore stop their self-improvement at the stage where they can develop into seasoned, balanced men. Thus, there are few mature role models for younger men. I think around 30-40 is when men are supposed to develop into well-rounded, balanced and emotionally intelligent men.
To be successful you need to control your emotions, to learn you let your emotions control you. Alphas and mature men control their emotions whereas young men and betas can let their emotions affect them more.
Women and Alphas: If I want to be successful I must START with positive emotions. I need to be in the correct emotional place BEFORE I attempt something. Emotions -> Outcome
Betas and young men: If I want positive emotions I must become successful. If I succeed in something THEN I will be in the correct emotional place. Outcome -> Emotions
Women and Alphas see their outcome dependant on their prior emotions. Betas and young men see their emotions as dependant on the outcome.
Women and Alphas spend more time in emotional reflection, they learn about themselves, and look from inward to outward. For women it is because they cannot really change the outside world much anyway due being less powerful than men, for Alphas it is because they already know about the outside world and their skills in it are already at a high level, so it is is more efficient for them to look inside given looking outside has diminishing returns at this point.
The Stronger Sex
Kingfisher
I once had a card-carrying feminist (she was actually part of the Women's Studies hustle and all) trying to sell me that women breaking down in tears in the middle of a conversation was the result of women's superior empathy. When I explained to her that's the opposite of empathy, since empathy implies putting yourself in someone else's place, while women's emotional outbursts are all about their own fragile feelings and their egos, and they're incapable of seeing the other side's position in an argument, she didn't know what to say.
An interesting read here about why there are apparently more female psychics than male ones due to female intuition. I'm not sure how credible it is but it sounded convincing as I read it. I did try and search the internet for other sources of information as to whether female psychics are more common than men, but did not find anything else about it! Strange.
westsidetoastmasters.com
Understanding Body Language Fundamentals
Er Miqué
Sparrow
That's because women naturally are more "sensitive" and "socially perceptive" because when they become mothers they need to be able to understand what their offspring try to communicate even when their offspring are unable to talk at all (babies by example) and only can use body movements and facial expressions. Women then use that ability in social contexts to understand what happens to other people without them talking about it, so the "female intuition" thing is born.
You also can develop that ability, you just need to very observant of everything a person does from facial expressions to body movements and soon you know when somebody is sad and trying to hide it just from looking at their posture and facial expression.
The psychic thing is also very easy to do: just learn to read people, make some assumptions from that and then let the other person fill in the missing information through answering questions, with some tricks to make it look like it's all "magic" and then voilà the other person thinks you really know stuff nobody else could; women already have the "read people" part ready so they are half ready unlike most men and they are more able to act like they are magicians and really "understand" what the other person feels. The "Emotional Intelligence" of women is their great empathy, no more, and it works great for acting like they really feel as psychics what the other person feels and "understand" them.
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