How do I tell if a woman is really Christian or not?

Theo'sTheories

Theo'sTheories

Robin
Other Christian
I have been talking to a girl for about 4 days now. We talked about Christianity and she says she is a Christian. We briefly talked about prayer and scripture but we didn't delve too deep into the topic. We are going to hang out in a few weeks after she gets home from college. I'm not sure how to tell if this girl is going to be wife material. When I'm infatuated with someone, I tend to not think rationally about them so I'm coming here for advice. I want to find a woman who will help me grow spiritually and not bring me down in my walk with God. If anybody has any words of wisdom to help me in this situation, it would be greatly appreciated.
 
Deusleveult

Deusleveult

Woodpecker
Trad Catholic
Like you said, just start by hanging out with her.

You may realize you are not into her or her into you after the first dates, end of story. To the next one.

Or you may like each other then only time will tell if she's what you are looking for.

You just have to meet each other like a normal young couple but without sex. That's the most important part, if you start having sex without really knowing each other, you will not have a clear mind and you're going to pass red flags. Just this is a red flag for a woman that claims to be Christian.

After a few months of relationships without sex, you will know more about her, her story, her friends, her parents, and that will tell you if she's a woman you want to marry and have children with.

So don't rush into sex and take your time to know her will be my advice.
 
G

GWYW2015

 
Banned
Orthodox
Theo'sTheories said:
I have been talking to a girl for about 4 days now. We talked about Christianity and she says she is a Christian. We briefly talked about prayer and scripture but we didn't delve too deep into the topic. We are going to hang out in a few weeks after she gets home from college. I'm not sure how to tell if this girl is going to be wife material. When I'm infatuated with someone, I tend to not think rationally about them so I'm coming here for advice. I want to find a woman who will help me grow spiritually and not bring me down in my walk with God. If anybody has any words of wisdom to help me in this situation, it would be greatly appreciated.
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You might ask her to church, or to a Bible study. If she wants to have sex, then no, she is not a Christian.
 
Theo'sTheories

Theo'sTheories

Robin
Other Christian
Deusleveult said:
Like you said, just start by hanging out with her.

You may realize you are not into her or her into you after the first dates, end of story. To the next one.

Or you may like each other then only time will tell if she's what you are looking for.

You just have to meet each other like a normal young couple but without sex. That's the most important part, if you start having sex without really knowing each other, you will not have a clear mind and you're going to pass red flags. Just this is a red flag for a woman that claims to be Christian.

After a few months of relationships without sex, you will know more about her, her story, her friends, her parents, and that will tell you if she's a woman you want to marry and have children with.

So don't rush into sex and take your time to know her will be my advice.
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Thank you for the advice! I've already made the choice to remain a virgin until marriage. And I do agree that if you have sex with somebody you don't know that well you won't be able to think clearly about her. I'm going to put my faith in God to help guide me through this.
 
G

GWYW2015

 
Banned
Orthodox
Theo'sTheories said:
That's a great idea! And yeah if she wants to have sex, that means that she probably has had sex in relationships before, which means she probably doesn't have faith in God. Thanks for the advice brother!
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I don't mean to sound judgemental but having sex outside of marriage is easy. Saying no when it is so difficult is something only a Christian would suffer through, and I think it is suffering. I endured for a very long time because I didn't want to blow it after waiting as long as I did. Finally, I was able to get married and all that turmoil is over.
 
Theo'sTheories

Theo'sTheories

Robin
Other Christian
GWYW2015 said:
I don't mean to sound judgemental but having sex outside of marriage is easy. Saying no when it is so difficult is something only a Christian would suffer through, and I think it is suffering. I endured for a very long time because I didn't want to blow it after waiting as long as I did. Finally, I was able to get married and all that turmoil is over.
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I whole-heartedly agree. I've always wanted to save myself for marriage, even in my rebellious days. But I have never been in a situation where sex is a true possibility. I do believe that in the past, I probably would've given into temptation when the time came. Over the past year I've taken steps to control my lust and put my trust in God. I will never truly know how I will act until the moment comes, but I think I'm better prepared to overcome sexual temptation more now ever.
 
G

GWYW2015

 
Banned
Orthodox
Theo'sTheories said:
I whole-heartedly agree. I've always wanted to save myself for marriage, even in my rebellious days. But I have never been in a situation where sex is a true possibility. I do believe that in the past, I probably would've given into temptation when the time came. Over the past year I've taken steps to control my lust and put my trust in God. I will never truly know how I will act until the moment comes, but I think I'm better prepared to overcome sexual temptation more now ever.
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Like the Bible says, "Flee fornication". That means run like the wind, get out of there like you are being pursued by an enemy is what that word means to convey. I would have done so many stupid things if I had looked for trouble. It is frightening what risks we will take just for a short thrill.
 
Theo'sTheories

Theo'sTheories

Robin
Other Christian
GWYW2015 said:
Like the Bible says, "Flee fornication". That means run like the wind, get out of there like you are being pursued by an enemy is what that word means to convey. I would have done so many stupid things if I had looked for trouble. It is frightening what risks we will take just for a short thrill.
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Amen! I've been studying 1 Corinthians 6 a lot recently and I love verse 18: "Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body." From this verse, I finally understood that sexual immorality is a different beast than other sins. Also, the word "flee" really helped me understand the severity of sexual immorality and just how fast we need to run away from it.
 
G

GWYW2015

 
Banned
Orthodox
Theo'sTheories said:
Amen! I've been studying 1 Corinthians 6 a lot recently and I love verse 18: "Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body." From this verse, I finally understood that sexual immorality is a different beast than other sins. Also, the word "flee" really helped me understand the severity of sexual immorality and just how fast we need to run away from it.
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Exactly right. To toy with it, to play around with it is precisely what Satan the destroyer and lier wants to have happen. There is a reason we should be married to the "wife of our youth". If we wait around much longer then pornography or some other form of fornication gets to be unbearable.

Most definitely, fornication is a sin against our own body whether it be pornography or premarital sex. We don't recognize it as such, explaining it away as mere recreation or just for kicks of just being a male. That's what the devil wants you to think. It's no big deal, God is a spoil sport, just do whatever you want, then later you can quit. Just like smoking. Fornication screws you up mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically and all this is what awaits a man's wife maybe someday. I think she would rather not want that.

Meanwhile back at the ranch, The Bible touts getting married and then not depriving each other. No guilt, STDs, unwanted pregnancy, no ruined life. But avoiding fornication is difficult, which is why we should get married and fulfill each other, as temptation is still going to exist.
 
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