How Do You Deal with Loud Women?

[Suits]

I usually do not slam Chinese people much and I like China alot, more than Suits or others do...

That's because you haven't lived here for seven years.

Or alternative, maybe you don't like it as much as you think you do, because otherwise, you would have set up permanent shop here years ago.

I don't think I would have lasted seven years here (with plans to continue living here into the next decade) if I didn't like China a lot.

I wouldn't stay here if I didn't like it, there's nothing like being able to walk down the street in broad daylight with an clearly visible alcoholic beverage and not get hassled by the cops. Plus, the ability to have healthy relationships with intelligent women means that I'm a lot less angry here than I was when I live in the US/Canada.

To be clear, this isn't intended to be argumentative, but rather to propose the notion that my forum writings about the Chinese region may be combination of 20% self-therapy, 50% desire to give others an informed understanding of what they are getting themselves into if they come here and 30% misunderstood comedy.

She said she was from a small town near Beijing. She had really gross eating habits, her mouth was open the whole time she was eating. I just had to look away. She also acted like a fucking pig..as soon as we walked out of the Japanese place she said she was still hungry so we we went for ice cream. After that she was still hungry and we ended up going to a Taiwanese place. She bailed because they were out of fried chicken.

Yes, Chinese people, rich or poor, absolutely live for food. Everyone, all over the world loves to eat, but the Chinese have this smile that suggests complete happiness that they are only capable of forming when eating something delicious. And then they pay the bill and go drive the wrong way down 3 different street, blow 4 red lights and come within inches of clipping 32 pedestrians.

It was really close to my parking spot so I just said I need to go and drove off. I've never seen a Chinese FOB try to eat as much as her.

My experience with Chinese FOBs is mainly educated ones from big cities. I don't come across Chinese villagers so it came as a bit of shock to me.

I think bad eating habits is common across most Chinese, even with the educated ones. I've worked with FOB women who would have a just spit stuff out into a paper towel right in front of me when they were eating. They didn't even try to hide it.

I spit things on the floor now.

I'm not hating on Chinese women, most of my experiences with them have been positive. Ironically the husband was telling me that Chinese standards of beauty are different to American standards - but his wife was not attractive and she loud and tactless. I kept on thinking to myself, what the fuck is wrong with the guy who married her?! Why her?!

Great questions.

 

[TravelerKai]

I usually do not slam Chinese people much and I like China alot, more than Suits or others do...

That's because you haven't lived here for seven years.

Or alternative, maybe you don't like it as much as you think you do, because otherwise, you would have set up permanent shop here years ago.

I don't think I would have lasted seven years here (with plans to continue living here into the next decade) if I didn't like China a lot.

I wouldn't stay here if I didn't like it, there's nothing like being able to walk down the street in broad daylight with an clearly visible alcoholic beverage and not get hassled by the cops. Plus, the ability to have healthy relationships with intelligent women means that I'm a lot less angry here than I was when I live in the US/Canada.

To be clear, this isn't intended to be argumentative, but rather to propose the notion that my forum writings about the Chinese region may be combination of 20% self-therapy, 50% desire to give others an informed understanding of what they are getting themselves into if they come here and 30% misunderstood comedy.

I like China enough to know when too much is too much. China before 2010-2013? You would have to be insane to live there nonstop year on end. I know guys that lived in China in the 90s, they did not pull 7 year in a row stints like you did. They think 1 year stretches are good enough for anybody. I remember expats that taught English from years ago saying that no sane man spends more than a couple years there. I guess you found out the hard way. China nowadays is nice enough to live in long stretches. You got Didi car service, food delivery everywhere, high speed train everywhere, tons of flights in and out, subways in all the T1 and T2 cities, really good restaurants around, tons of cool shit to do! So convenient! I even have my own apartment in China even though I still split my time. I might stick with China long term but that remains to be decided upon. Its amazing how much the country has changed in such a short period of time. Historians are going to have a field day someday in the future when writing about it.

Sounds like you are enjoying yourself well enough. Hopefully it continues to get better as the years roll by.

Hopefully Walter can avoid sha bi FOBs in the future too, lol.

*note to Walter, do not call her sha bi unless you want to get swung on.

 

[Suits]

I usually do not slam Chinese people much and I like China alot, more than Suits or others do...

That's because you haven't lived here for seven years.

I like China enough to know when too much is too much.

China before 2010-2013? You would have to be insane to live there nonstop year on end. I know guys that lived in China in the 90s, they did not pull 7 year in a row stints like you did.

That's the key. If you enjoy spending time here, the trick is to get long, regular breaks. Currently, I'm working towards doing work that allows me to leave China whenever I want for as long as I want, but I'm not crazy enough to think I want to leave and never come back.

China has this ability to pull you back in even after you've left swearing that you'll never return.

As for me, the last time and only time I left promising that I wouldn't be back was in 2012 and that was after a particularly rough set of experience. I took a break for 2.5 years and then decided that my prospects were better in China than anywhere elsewhere.

I actually have not come anywhere close to doing the whole seven years in you shot. I came first for a 3 month semester, which was followed the following year by a 5 month semester. I then took a two year break to continue my studies in the USA (even though I would have preferred to be in China, but I needed to make headway on my degree).

Then I did two one year stints with a semester back in the US sandwiched in between them. That was in Tianjin and that's the city that made me never want to come back to China.

I returned after finished my degree in 2014 and have been back ever since. I still like Beijing quite a bit, but the thing that I recognize is that China doesn't always bring the best out of people and that it burns a hole in your soul to spend all of your days around people who have the type of values you see on display in China.

At present my plan is to establish a system where I can spend about half my year in China and half elsewhere, not because I need to be in China, but because I want to be.

They think 1 year stretches are good enough for anybody. I remember expats that taught English from years ago saying that no sane man spends more than a couple years there. I guess you found out the hard way.

One year isn't that bad. It's when you get past 2 years that I think people feel they have had enough. However, for me, the last 4 years hasn't been bad at all. The biggest problem I've had is not the negatives of living in China, but rather being in a line of work where I can't have the weekly schedule that allows me to have the lifestyle I want and that the constant increases in Beijing housing costs means that my lifestyle isn't improving, even as I begin to earn a lot more.

These issues have less to do with China or more to do with my own life choices (living in Beijing for one, doing the work I do for another). I could live anywhere else in China if I chose and do other work if I wished. That's why I'm doubling down on a plan to change the type of work I do so that I can have the lifestyle I desire. The plan is in motion and going well.

China nowadays is nice enough to live in long stretches. You got Didi car service, food delivery everywhere, high speed train everywhere, tons of flights in and out, subways in all the T1 and T2 cities, really good restaurants around, tons of cool shit to do!

The restaurant scene in Beijing is truly amazing, not just for the Chinese cuisines, but for food from all over the world. It's one of the reasons I love this city. Even Shenzhen doesn't even come close (although Shanghai is comparable or better). There's a decent underground music scene in Beijing that I began to explore just last summer and there's a thriving art scene too.

The subway system is a wonder to behold (although it lacks creativity and doesn't solve the problem that Beijing is so damn big, that it still takes forever to get anywhere, even with subway lines that go literally everywhere). High speed trains have really changed the game for sure and the variety and affordability of the flights in and out and around the country is impressive.

Your biggest problem in a city like this is being too busy to properly enjoy it.

I don't take advantage of app-based car services or food delivery, however. One of my rules for healthy China survival is to cook most of my meals at home and to achieve personal independence by riding anywhere I need to go on my own. I take taxis occasionally, but even that's pretty rare outside of the winter months.

 

[C-Note]

I met a friend for lunch today in a Japanese part of Los Angeles.

As an aside, which Japanese part of LA? Little Japan up by downtown or the Japanese cultural center at the intersection of Torrance, Carson, and Gardena?

 

[WalterBlack]

I met a friend for lunch today in a Japanese part of Los Angeles.

As an aside, which Japanese part of LA? Little Japan up by downtown or the Japanese cultural center at the intersection of Torrance, Carson, and Gardena?

Neither. Sawtelle.

 

[Simeon_Strangelight]

Sounds like a hillbilly Chinese woman. She and plenty of other dog-eating cat-in-chains-holding folk are the reason why the Japanese still have occasionally some cartoons about the primitive Chinese.

Will change over time - though whether the change will affect her is another matter. I doubt that there is a way to "deal with her". She is likely the equivalent version of the rural backwards Indian woman.

 

[VincentVinturi]

You couldn't have known before hand that this chick would be a total redneck.

But now you know and you can confine the meetings with your friend to those that don't involve her.

I'd also be wondering about the quality of my friend if he's such a bad judge of character.

Granted, sometimes great friends have annoying girlfriends / wives and there's nothing you can do about it other than choose not to hang out with them.

Is that the case here or is this guy nothing special?

Maybe I'm showing my age but I'm very very picky about who I spend my time with.

If I were in your shoes I'd probably be distancing myself from this guy straight away.

Just by virtue of having such a dumbass for a wife he's bringing down your average. Cut.

 

[WalterBlack]

Sounds like a hillbilly Chinese woman. She and plenty of other dog-eating cat-in-chains-holding folk are the reason why the Japanese still have occasionally some cartoons about the primitive Chinese.

Will change over time - though whether the change will affect her is another matter. I doubt that there is a way to "deal with her". She is likely the equivalent version of the rural backwards Indian woman.

I disagree - my family is originally from an Indian village and I've been to India many times. A backwards Indian woman wouldn't last 5 minutes if she acted that way. I don't condone violence against women, but her husband would have beaten shit of her if this went down in an Indian village. Indian village men don't take any shit from a woman.

VincentVinturi - the husband is a friend of a friend. The friend that I met, he's a Chinese American that lives in Taiwan. He was in town so he wanted to meet up. I see him maybe once or twice a year. I doubt I will ever come across the couple again.

 

[Renzy]

EDIT: deleted

 

[Papaya]

^ You do realize this forum is view able to the public...right?

I know you're making a joke but others might not

 

[Renzy]

^ You do realize this forum is view able to the public...right?

I know you're making a joke but others might not

Maybe it was in bad taste, but that gif cracked me up

 

[Papaya]

^ You do realize this forum is view able to the public...right?

I know you're making a joke but others might not

Maybe it was in bad taste, but that gif cracked me up

Id be lying if I said i didnt laugh too. Its just that without any comment it could (and would) be misconstrued as promoting violence against women

 

[Rush87]

You match and mirror, build rapport, then tell them to chill.