I'm 33 now, and I need to change my life drastically. I'm basically a lazy person, and it takes me a long time to do things. I guess I like the "luxury" of doing things until I have to absolutely do it. I'm like the kid that waits until the night before to work on his final paper except I do that with every aspect of my life. Just wondering if anyone has gone through the same thing and what they did to stop it. As of now, I have a list of to-do-things that I try to go off by, and I have posted life goals on the walls of my room. Because of this, I was able to plan a week-long trip to Spain and I'm in the process of possibly going to Poland if I get accepted into a student program. But it still took me a long time to accomplish those same goals. I feel like I've missed out on a lot of significant opportunities romantically, professionally and just experience-wise. But I want to change that. Getting into game has been a great positive step towards that direction.(Btw, the irony of asking such a question is not lost on me.)
How Do You Stop Being A Lazy Bastard?
- Thread starter Shadowarrior
- Start date
I'm a lot like you. I either put it off and put it off until I absolutely have to do something about it, or I'll just do a bunch of semi-related things that don't actually advance my progress. Its tougher with things less concrete such as "get better with women" or "lose weight/put on muscle" I always get stuck overplanning, trying to cover every single base or possibility.
The one piece of advice I would give to you is to pick one main goal. Wake up every morning with a checklist of a few things you can do that day to work towards said goal. Before you do ANYTHING (aside from bathing/eating etc) do everything in your power to get those things done. However don't sacrifice the small things you can do in just a few minutes, or passive actions (like keeping up an exercise routine or eating right)
Not sure if this applies to you, but personally I think its a subconscious fear of failure/the unknown. Fucking around on the internet (or however you procrastinate) is easy, its safe. Pushing your boundaries, making changes and taking actions is not.
related: http://boldanddetermined.com/2013/09/13/how-you-can-turn-laziness-into-accomplishment/
The one piece of advice I would give to you is to pick one main goal. Wake up every morning with a checklist of a few things you can do that day to work towards said goal. Before you do ANYTHING (aside from bathing/eating etc) do everything in your power to get those things done. However don't sacrifice the small things you can do in just a few minutes, or passive actions (like keeping up an exercise routine or eating right)
Not sure if this applies to you, but personally I think its a subconscious fear of failure/the unknown. Fucking around on the internet (or however you procrastinate) is easy, its safe. Pushing your boundaries, making changes and taking actions is not.
related: http://boldanddetermined.com/2013/09/13/how-you-can-turn-laziness-into-accomplishment/
scotian said:
Sadly not much. Averaging about once a month maybe.
Shadowarrior said:
haha I'm just giving you shit, Man. I'm lazy too.
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Shadowarrior said:
Shadowarrior said:
Throw. out. your. television.
Go to specialist aka psychologist. First thing you need to acknowledge is that you are what you are because you are conditioned your whole life by your parents and surrounding. Your brain has circuits that are not easily changable. You will need a lot of willpower. I'm working on this myself too. Good book on this:
http://www.amazon.com/You-Are-Not-Your-Brain/dp/1583334831
Must read I must say.
http://www.amazon.com/You-Are-Not-Your-Brain/dp/1583334831
Must read I must say.
How much porn do you watch?
I quit that shit 45 days ago and I must say my life has changed for the better ever since. I also went the first month without any masturbation but now I'm back at fapping thrice a week tops. In the process, I only think about women I interacted with in real life.
I don't think it's a panacea for everything wrong in your life, so you should combine it with other measures (working out, to-do-lists, socializing with as many people as possible, traveling, etc.). Looking back, though, I realize how it had made me unneccessarily inert over the years as well as self-complacent and lazy when it comes to approaching women in many situations.
I suggest to give it a shot and to check out the NoFap-Thread for more information. Many dudes seem to report similar positive side effects (whether they are placebo or not) such as a deeper voice and feeling more active.
I quit that shit 45 days ago and I must say my life has changed for the better ever since. I also went the first month without any masturbation but now I'm back at fapping thrice a week tops. In the process, I only think about women I interacted with in real life.
I don't think it's a panacea for everything wrong in your life, so you should combine it with other measures (working out, to-do-lists, socializing with as many people as possible, traveling, etc.). Looking back, though, I realize how it had made me unneccessarily inert over the years as well as self-complacent and lazy when it comes to approaching women in many situations.
I suggest to give it a shot and to check out the NoFap-Thread for more information. Many dudes seem to report similar positive side effects (whether they are placebo or not) such as a deeper voice and feeling more active.
Pare down the bullshit in your life until you have literally nothing to do but exactly the stuff you should be working on. Move to some kind of cave looking apartment and get rid of all your shit on ebay and craigslist but your laptop (that might go even), enough clothes, a crockpot, and whatever you want to get good at - a guitar, weightlifting set, whatever. Get your diet in order first off.
Then instead of fucking off on the TV you lift weights while listening to tunes, or instead of going out for dinner you slice up some shit, put it in the crockpot, and go back to lifting weights. Replace lifting weights with 'prepping for class', 'doing paperwork', or 'setting up dates with whores'. It's not rocket science to get shit done.
If that doesn't work (i.e; somehow you eliminate all distractions and you still suck at getting anything done) then you need to reach inside yourself and find out what motivates you. My guess is that you're content with life - that's not necessarily a good thing.
Then instead of fucking off on the TV you lift weights while listening to tunes, or instead of going out for dinner you slice up some shit, put it in the crockpot, and go back to lifting weights. Replace lifting weights with 'prepping for class', 'doing paperwork', or 'setting up dates with whores'. It's not rocket science to get shit done.
If that doesn't work (i.e; somehow you eliminate all distractions and you still suck at getting anything done) then you need to reach inside yourself and find out what motivates you. My guess is that you're content with life - that's not necessarily a good thing.
Hades said:
This is actually some really good advice. I'm kind of doing this right now in my room in Cambodia. I've been flirting with the idea of stripping everything out of my life except my work and then slowly adding in the other stuff as I get results.
In essence, building a foundation and then expanding my life back out from there. You can always get back to a more exciting existence later, but with your ducks in a row.
loki
Woodpecker
Being lazy is a curse, and only discipline, motivation and setting achieving goals can address this weakness.
The personal reward system can work well in this sort of scenario, where by you reward yourself for hitting targets and goals etc..
Also try cutting out TV all together as it helps to breed laziness.
The personal reward system can work well in this sort of scenario, where by you reward yourself for hitting targets and goals etc..
Also try cutting out TV all together as it helps to breed laziness.
I've said this on here before, but it bears worth repeating: laziness and procrastination are actually fear of failure in disguise
When we're worried about messing something up, we ignore it or put it off and tell ourselves we just don't feel like doing it. Then, by leaving it till last minute, we can justify not doing well because we say, "Well what do you expect? I threw it together in an hour!"
The question is what causes this fear of failure, especially amongst men?
My feeling is that a lot of us started out thinking we could do almost anything but found once we did one little thing wrong, the alarms went off and the hysteria started. Maybe it was an insane teacher, a hysterical mother, or an a-hole dad (or in my case a fat-ass bully of a brother who specialized in shaming me in front of my parents).
Whatever the case, with enough finger-pointing when we screwed up, we came to develop an oversized fear of failure and begin to disengage. I see this mostly among men; women seem not to care as much because their value to society lies elsewhere (looks, fertility).
How do we stop this? Well, for one thing success breeds success therefore more confidence. If you try and something and do well, you're likely to pull yourself out of your rut. Also, don't tell people what you're doing because if it doesn't work out, you have to face failure. I started doing a lot better in life when I made my work more private.
Finally, I'd also recommend we look back at our home environments and ferret out ways adults made us feel like failures and how that stayed with us. Realize these adults had issues, not us. I remember getting together with friends and my dad would always ask "Did you call them or did they call you?" which was a way of forcing me to admit that although I had friends, I might be the initiator, therefore, no one really liked me. What kind of an insecure person lays this on a kid? This stuff, when done regularly, doesn't go away. Recognize it and learn to get past it.
When we're worried about messing something up, we ignore it or put it off and tell ourselves we just don't feel like doing it. Then, by leaving it till last minute, we can justify not doing well because we say, "Well what do you expect? I threw it together in an hour!"
The question is what causes this fear of failure, especially amongst men?
My feeling is that a lot of us started out thinking we could do almost anything but found once we did one little thing wrong, the alarms went off and the hysteria started. Maybe it was an insane teacher, a hysterical mother, or an a-hole dad (or in my case a fat-ass bully of a brother who specialized in shaming me in front of my parents).
Whatever the case, with enough finger-pointing when we screwed up, we came to develop an oversized fear of failure and begin to disengage. I see this mostly among men; women seem not to care as much because their value to society lies elsewhere (looks, fertility).
How do we stop this? Well, for one thing success breeds success therefore more confidence. If you try and something and do well, you're likely to pull yourself out of your rut. Also, don't tell people what you're doing because if it doesn't work out, you have to face failure. I started doing a lot better in life when I made my work more private.
Finally, I'd also recommend we look back at our home environments and ferret out ways adults made us feel like failures and how that stayed with us. Realize these adults had issues, not us. I remember getting together with friends and my dad would always ask "Did you call them or did they call you?" which was a way of forcing me to admit that although I had friends, I might be the initiator, therefore, no one really liked me. What kind of an insecure person lays this on a kid? This stuff, when done regularly, doesn't go away. Recognize it and learn to get past it.