Someone above in this thread wrote that there is no difference in the standard between men and women and that this idea comes from the Manosphere. But they offered no points/counterpoints. I tend to believe that there is in fact a different standard between sexuality of men and women - not a double standard.
My argument or believe stems from how boys and girls mature by the age of 10 years old. By that age, boys tend to realize that no one cares about them - generally in life and in the world. If you had a silver spoon - great. But on average, let's consider a general upbringing. Girls on the other hand realize that she will be taken care of - so long as she clings to someone. How many girls are pushing around lawnmowers at age 11? Not many. This may not be happening much with boys these days - but we'll see how it shakes out with Millennials and Gamers - for better or worse.
Having said this, boys too go through many harrowing experiences of abandonment, injuries, insult, poverty and stress that girls know nothing about. They, the girls, eventually seek experiences and adventures - through casual sex but don't do so well, they don't hold up well to the fire - after, say, being called a B*tch, merely, or after being dumped twice by two different guys (all this is truly misadventures or deliberate demented behavior). They go over an emotional cliff so to speak. Boys on the other hand keep moving forward when they encounter, rather, equivalent challenges. They keep working toward their future. If I had time here - I'd like to create some demarcation(s) between different types of boys. There are Knaves (chads, knaves, PUAs, etc.) vs the 80% many of which are not losers but driven to take care of themselves - when no one else will bother. That discussion is sizable in and of itself. I'll skip that for now, for this post. Nonetheless, on average I find that women damage or wreck themselves after always having been taken care of by someone else - many of them eventually lose it emotionally / mentally.
At the same time - as mentioned earlier - during this "You go Girl" period, this "loose girl" period, she wasn't learning Homemaking skills. This, while the guy was doing what he was intended to do - he was working; he was improving himself. Someone calls him a "loser", he doesn't lose his mind. And neither was he, on average, sleeping with 3, 6 or 9 girls/women in 1 years time - as those certain type of girls/women were doing. She was sleeping with Knaves for the most part - guys that when they grow up are either dead, in prison or doing mostly average in life. Someone once said that for equivalency a guy would have to come across $5,000 cash and spend it on 10-20 prostitutes. The point was that - this power is dangerous; the sexual power that, some women play with - as if it's a board game or paper airplane. It's dangerous to the point of damaging women differently.
The above mostly refers to the factor of mental strength and mental stability.
Keep in mind, my "adventures" were literally being dragged behind a car on asphalt when I was 12 years old - parts of my body were ripped up badly, cauterization by fireworks, theft of my precious kid treasure - a bike, bad crashes from rugged sports, two occasions where guns were drawn on me, being thrown in jail twice, not having parents during a portion of High School, etc.
Consider Kanye West and his woman with a Sexual history, I feel sorry for him because on the one hand he has said that he wants a divorce but, too, he is fighting for his family right now. Consider the woman that he married. She, Kim, isn't stating that she has a strong Christian faith. She's working on Criminal justice. She supposedly had a sexual affair with a guy through this "work" of hers. Her mom apparently sold her Sex tape - this likely bothers Kanye. He's fighting for his family and his kids, but unfortunately he picked a rather tarnished woman. Kim may or may not choose righteousness.
They are both messed up, if you will. They should be living together, traveling together ... and the monster-in-law should be out of their lives.
Other reasons for Different vs double standard between men and women ... now this is only for me. How do you see it? Sincerely ... do share ideas. Change my mind.
- Gross factor
- Mom factor
- Nurturing factor
- Respect factor
- Stability factor
- the "proud of your wife" factor
Below I'm attaching a video with a handful of poignant ideas from J. Peterson.
Video Summary:
- The question deals with sexual restraint vs unhealthily repressed sexuality
- "Let's think about ethics to begin with ... so what is the point of conducting your life ethically, isn't to follow proper rules precisely, it's so that you balance your life so that it is productive and meaningful for you, now and in the future with any luck, but also for people around you, that would even be better, for you now and next week and into the future ... [act well, behave well across time and people]".
- "When you are thinking of an ethic such as sexuality you have to think of it in the context of the rest of your life ... what did I like that I read ... Who is in control? Is it you or the sexuality? Have you integrated your sexual life into the rest of your life so that the whole thing makes a harmonious balance? Are you in charge or is it in charge? If you are not in charge, things are out of control and you'll be in dreadful trouble. That happens when any given drive or value per-dominates to the exclusion of anything else."
- "I don't think casual sex exists ..."
- "There is no disentangling sexual behavior from your emotional behavior ... or maybe if you try to disentangle ... you end up cold and cynical."
How much does/should her sexual history matter?
Is she, your GF or wife, cold and cynical?
- "I think you hurt your soul ... "
- "There's nothing deep about it (casual sex), there's no discrimination among partners, ... there is nothing that helps you establish a meaningful relationship with someone ..."
- "Casual sex is a demented adolescent's fantasy"
Loose women have been known to say at age 34, "there was no one for me to marry." Actually lady, there were too many. There were too many men that you slept with ... surely you could have picked one (no one was offering). But then the guy is accused of being mean.
They also have been known to say "No one took care of me." They actually did but after you reached a certain threshold the 'investment' wasn't what it had been at an earlier point. But yet again, you'll be accused of being mean.
Many previous "loose" women enjoy mentioning the Woman at the Well story in the Gospel of John 4, sure, that's a great story ...
Look, all decent and present husbands want is a woman that is 110% dedicated to her family - not Facebook, her mom or memories of her many past boyfriends - she shouldn't be googling or FB 'searching/seeking' her past sex partners.
How much does/should her sexual history matter?
It does matter. It shouldn't matter if she has Christian faith and if she is 110% for you, recognizes her flaws brought upon by a sinful past and has changed.
Sure sin is sin, for both genders, the wages of sin is death - I'm not avoiding that idea in this "sexual history" debate.
I'm sure, in all of this, that I don't have it totally accurate but we think, we write and we try.
John 3:16
