How to deal with frustration at women in the culture around you?

Luna Novem

Woodpecker
Woman
It sometimes gets so tiring when people around you don't seem to care about the degeneracy overtaking our culture. I'm including women who call themselves conservative Christians. On facebook, for example, the only posts of mine that get a response are pictures of family or cutesy sayings. Anything remotely political gets crickets (although I do have three or four likeminded friends I can count on for a positive response).

Why do so many women seem only able to discuss cute puppies, the latest TV show, or the way they're redecorating their kitchen? (Not that these are bad things to discuss; but you know what I mean).

Is it completely wasteful to share things like this on normie social media? Is there ever a way to get through to these people? You'd THINK they'd want a decent society for their kiddos...
 

Leeloo

Woodpecker
Woman
I think we already know the short answer to this.

I hate to generalize, but most women in public spaces like FB are simply looking for short term entertainment and distractions from daily life. They don’t want to look into deeper societal values.

I feel that is why this space is so important. We are all seeking something more substantial.
I’ve been mulling over starting a new thread here about ‘guilty pleasures’. Like you say, MOST mainstream women would say things like Dancing with the Stars or some other pop culture thing, but here I feel we choose to spend our free time on more intellectual pursuits like learning a new skill or finding knowledge to help us in our spiritual life or with our families.

So while I don’t feel I’m qualified to give a real answer to your question, I think that the women on this forum are the exception to general social trends. We’re not like the women in the general FB feed, focused on triviality. Even the self-professed conservative Christians, use that title more for brownie points rather than actual substance.
 

dragonfire00

Sparrow
Woman
I think you had the answer in your post there- it's social media. It's a terrible medium for having honest/intellectual conversations and everyone has curated their own feeds to be their own echo chambers. I wouldn't put energy into that, and instead just seek out likeminded people in person, or maybe through forums like this as a supplement. Having people in your corner near you is very important for the coming times but I understand it can be hard for us moms/wives to get out and explore when we're busy in the home.

I do also think that one reason people don't want to discuss politics on social media is that they know if they expose being a conservative or having any wrong-think would make them a social pariah, or maybe they or a family members has a job in which they could get 'cancelled." Also, I used social media through the years to share pictures and events and keep up with obscure relatives (although I am going off of it and I have all the close people's information anyway and still do phone calls and texting) and friends that are now acquaintances.
 
Why do so many women seem only able to discuss cute puppies, the latest TV show, or the way they're redecorating their kitchen? (Not that these are bad things to discuss; but you know what I mean).

This isn't exclusive to women. A majority of the men I know either fear having more substantive conversation or can't have it because there's nothing in their head. Most talk revolves around the most mundane aspects of living. If you also pay attention, most people never ask you questions beyond the basics...because they have no interest in anyone else's lives. You can tell a lot about another person if you ask them inquisitive questions but they never, ever ask you any.

Is it completely wasteful to share things like this on normie social media? Is there ever a way to get through to these people? You'd THINK they'd want a decent society for their kiddos...

There's part of the issue: you're trying to get through to people. IMHO, this is a mistake. I "next" anyone who doesn't share our values, beliefs, or ability to have conversations. I'm all for not sharing everything openly and it taking time to warm up to someone new but you can read where most people are at within ten minutes. If they aren't on my page, I'll be polite if they contact us but I put zero effort to ever speaking with them again. There's no time for fooling around.
 

estraudi

Pelican
Gold Member
There's part of the issue: you're trying to get through to people. IMHO, this is a mistake. I "next" anyone who doesn't share our values, beliefs, or ability to have conversations. I'm all for not sharing everything openly and it taking time to warm up to someone new but you can read where most people are at within ten minutes. If they aren't on my page, I'll be polite if they contact us but I put zero effort to ever speaking with them again. There's no time for fooling around.
Second this opinion. Normies are barely waking up and or choose to remain disconnected from those who want the opposite.
They either have to deprogram on their own or not at all. This is not your job or your burden to carry if they're not your family or lifelong friend.
Better energy is spent coalescing around those who are on the same plane as you.
Great info, Endless.
 

Camellia

Pigeon
Woman
It sometimes gets so tiring when people around you don't seem to care about the degeneracy overtaking our culture. I'm including women who call themselves conservative Christians. On facebook, for example, the only posts of mine that get a response are pictures of family or cutesy sayings. Anything remotely political gets crickets (although I do have three or four likeminded friends I can count on for a positive response).

Why do so many women seem only able to discuss cute puppies, the latest TV show, or the way they're redecorating their kitchen? (Not that these are bad things to discuss; but you know what I mean).

Is it completely wasteful to share things like this on normie social media? Is there ever a way to get through to these people? You'd THINK they'd want a decent society for their kiddos...

It sometimes gets so tiring when people around you don't seem to care about the degeneracy overtaking our culture. I'm including women who call themselves conservative Christians. On facebook, for example, the only posts of mine that get a response are pictures of family or cutesy sayings. Anything remotely political gets crickets (although I do have three or four likeminded friends I can count on for a positive response).

Why do so many women seem only able to discuss cute puppies, the latest TV show, or the way they're redecorating their kitchen? (Not that these are bad things to discuss; but you know what I mean).

Is it completely wasteful to share things like this on normie social media? Is there ever a way to get through to these people? You'd THINK they'd want a decent society for their kiddos...
Like other members have said, I wouldn't waste any time on social media. I still have my FB account because that's where the homeschool groups are and I really need them, but I haven't posted in years and I don't follow any of my contacts. I loose faith in humanity when I see all that shallowness!

Unfortunately, even most people I know in real life lack substance. I partly blame political correctness for this. People are so afraid of speaking their mind that they've become bland and empty. That's why I love this forum so much! Apart from my closest friends and family, this is the only space where I can have deep and honest conversations.
 
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Kitty Tantrum

Woodpecker
Woman
There's a very small handful who get special treatment from me: family members, close friends, and neighbors who have earned a greater measure of consideration than the average moron. For these people, I will smile and nod and engage in small talk and other banalities with them - occasionally, in small doses. For these people, frustration is easily given over to love and patience instead.

Otherwise, I don't initiate or engage in any kind of interaction with those people. I try to ignore them as best I can, and if they initiate a conversation or try to engage with me, the goal is to end it as quickly as possible. Smile, nod, eject.

People I don't know? I will call them out and mock them for being vapid, ignorant, hypocritical, etc. I went through a few years of employing patient, diplomatic attempts at persuasion, trying to "get through to people," and I have learned that this is silly. The whole reason people end up "like that" in the first place is because they've been coddled. The only way to engage with them in any sustained way is to play into their need to always feel good, and to be heard, and to only deal in positive thinking. :vomit:

I can put on my kid gloves and have a conversation with them about whatever thing, as though we are on equal standing, and avoid actually challenging their "Happy Cult" paradigm for the sake of keeping them in my social circle, or "playing nice" - but WHY?

Start with a sarcastic, condescending (but TRUE) assessment and watch them start to sputter with indignation... then I like to cut to the quick and send them off huffing and puffing about how mean I am for injecting harsh, negative reality into their fantasy world.

No, darling, you do not get to make your own reality. And no, your ignorance and unwillingness to confront the ugly truths of human existence and modern society does not make you a ray of sunshine that is going to transform the world into a better place with your "positivity." Oh, and your "humanitarian cause" (and/or "side gig") is actually a consumer hobby (and/or whoring); get over yourself.

It's usually a lot more subtle than that, but that's the gist of the implication.

My own mother unfriended me on Facebook for being like this (not to her so much, she's my mother - but to other people). I haven't spoken to her in more than a year because she wasn't happy with me just humoring her out of love and respect -- she was always trying to twist me to her own stunted, damaged view of the world. I love my mother, but hoo boy. Talk about someone living inside their own constructed delusion... I'm going to have to be very careful with my words when I do speak to her again. ;)

Am I concerned with the current state of affairs in my country and in the world? YEP!

Do I spend any time feeling frustrated by dumb broads? NOPE!

Bonus: rarely, but every so often this tactic brings me face-to-face with an absolute gem who drops the "Happy Cult" facade and is like "OMG I'm so glad you said that." I have... maybe half a dozen female acquaintances in my local community that I've accumulated over the years who have stuck through this filtering process, and they are all worth their weight in gold. We're not "close" in the sense that we hang out regularly, but THESE women are the ones I keep tabs on so that I know I can find them if crap hits the fan, so to speak. Those are the women I want to rope into building a village with me.
 

Mrs.DanielH

Robin
Woman
It sometimes gets so tiring when people around you don't seem to care about the degeneracy overtaking our culture. I'm including women who call themselves conservative Christians. On facebook, for example, the only posts of mine that get a response are pictures of family or cutesy sayings. Anything remotely political gets crickets (although I do have three or four likeminded friends I can count on for a positive response).

Why do so many women seem only able to discuss cute puppies, the latest TV show, or the way they're redecorating their kitchen? (Not that these are bad things to discuss; but you know what I mean).

Is it completely wasteful to share things like this on normie social media? Is there ever a way to get through to these people? You'd THINK they'd want a decent society for their kiddos...
I have the same issue. I don't get why people don't want to engage in conversations with substance. I've tried reconnecting with some friends in my area but it's so difficult to get them to start talking about real life issues. It takes an hour of small talk, at least, to get them to open up. My husband often says I'm an open book because I break social norms as to when to divulge certain details of my life. Maybe I'm being too vulnerable to people who i don't know that well, and maybe one day it will bite me in the butt. However, I don't like fake people so I'm not going to fake that my life is perfect. Yes I'm flawed and i know everyone else is too, so why don't we just be real with each other? How do I find real friends?
 

Luna Novem

Woodpecker
Woman
I have the same issue. I don't get why people don't want to engage in conversations with substance. I've tried reconnecting with some friends in my area but it's so difficult to get them to start talking about real life issues. It takes an hour of small talk, at least, to get them to open up. My husband often says I'm an open book because I break social norms as to when to divulge certain details of my life. Maybe I'm being too vulnerable to people who i don't know that well, and maybe one day it will bite me in the butt. However, I don't like fake people so I'm not going to fake that my life is perfect. Yes I'm flawed and i know everyone else is too, so why don't we just be real with each other? How do I find real friends?
I totally feel you. I also cannot stand boring people. I once stopped hanging out with this woman who, even after several hangouts, seemed like she literally didn't know HOW to go deeper than TV shows and kitchen remodels (yes, I had her in mind when I typed my original post, lol). She was perfectly nice, she was just incredibly boring. I took time out of my precious moments with my kiddos to hang out with her and it just really wasn't worth it. Life's too short.
 
How do I find real friends?

If I may add one additional comment to answer this: this is the million dollar question lots of people have. Even before the pandemic, polling about friendship was very low.

My wife and I have made a point to cycle through lots of people, dumping losers immediately and keeping decent folks. Still not easy. We also keep our relationships in perspective, seeking to understand the good and bad in individuals, their strengths and weaknesses. Plus being smart about how we let people in.

However, the way to make friends is to do things with people. Invite folks to go kayaking, boating, whatever. You might be surprised to learn how many people have no idea its this easy or that theres something other than drinking. Be open by don't push politics or religion. Ask them questions and let them talk. Anyone who doesn't engage after a few times, drop them. Good chance you make lifelong friends through this way alone, though it takes time.
 

Mrs.DanielH

Robin
Woman
If I may add one additional comment to answer this: this is the million dollar question lots of people have. Even before the pandemic, polling about friendship was very low.

My wife and I have made a point to cycle through lots of people, dumping losers immediately and keeping decent folks. Still not easy. We also keep our relationships in perspective, seeking to understand the good and bad in individuals, their strengths and weaknesses. Plus being smart about how we let people in.

However, the way to make friends is to do things with people. Invite folks to go kayaking, boating, whatever. You might be surprised to learn how many people have no idea its this easy or that theres something other than drinking. Be open by don't push politics or religion. Ask them questions and let them talk. Anyone who doesn't engage after a few times, drop them. Good chance you make lifelong friends through this way alone, though it takes time.
It's easier said than done. The only way to meet new people would be to knock on doors in the neighborhood or ask random people in the supermarket. And if we found some people, who's to say they would accept the invitation to do something considering the "pandemic". I guess it's like dating, you put yourself out there and hope you didn't waste your time, but usually it is a waste. We'd like to make friends from church but our church is only letting us attend twice per month because of covid (we heartily disagree with the churches decision here). Plus most of the people who even bother showing up anymore are old folks.
 

Soli Deo Gloria

Chicken
Woman
On facebook, for example, the only posts of mine that get a response are pictures of family or cutesy sayings. Anything remotely political gets crickets (although I do have three or four likeminded friends I can count on for a positive response).
Are you seeking to share your political views for the satisfaction of sharing your views and getting people involved, or are you seeking likes? Because although people may see your post and read it and have a thought about it, they wont always "like" or "comment".
Why do so many women seem only able to discuss cute puppies, the latest TV show, or the way they're redecorating their kitchen? (Not that these are bad things to discuss; but you know what I mean).
I don't know what you mean
Is it completely wasteful to share things like this on normie social media? Is there ever a way to get through to these people? You'd THINK they'd want a decent society for their
Its wasteful in the sense that you're doing it to get through to people who have most likely been brainwashed, have their own set views, or are uninterested. But, like I mentioned earlier, just because your posts don't get a ton of "likes" doesn't mean they're not being read. So if you're not seeking to post for a lot of "likes" then it's not necessarily wasteful.
 

Soli Deo Gloria

Chicken
Woman
I feel that is why this space is so important. We are all seeking something more substantial.
MOST mainstream women would say things like Dancing with the Stars or some other pop culture thing, but here I feel we choose to spend our free time on more intellectual pursuits
I'd like to mention there is a thread on ladies general called "Why have women stopped carrying purses?"
I think that the women on this forum are the exception to general social trends. We’re not like the women in the general FB feed, focused on triviality. Even the self-professed conservative Christians, use that title more for brownie points rather than actual substance.
I just want to point out how dangerous this kind of thinking could be. Its get into the "holier-than-thou" sense of we're better than they are because they can't (or won't) talk about more substantial subjects, like politics, and we do.
Don't get me wrong, it's important to talk about these subjects, but is that more important than their faith? We can't allow thoughts like this to distract us from the real goal! While we sit and stew in our confusion and frustration they're probably enjoying themselves and not giving your comments a second thought.
 
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Luna Novem

Woodpecker
Woman
Are you seeking to share your political views for the satisfaction of sharing your views and getting people involved, or are you seeking likes? Because although people may see your post and read it and have a thought about it, they wont always "like" or "comment".

I don't know what you mean

Its wasteful in the sense that you're doing it to get through to people who have most likely been brainwashed, have their own set views, or are uninterested. But, like I mentioned earlier, just because your posts don't get a ton of "likes" doesn't mean they're not being read. So if you're not seeking to post for a lot of "likes" then it's not necessarily wasteful.
No, I'm not seeking "likes". It goes beyond facebook, honestly; I just used that as a starting example. It's everywhere. My own parents won't discuss politics with me. I just get really frustrated that 70+% of people seem satisfied with the status quo. I can understand if they're hard left. While I don't agree with leftists, I can at least respect that they put passion into their views. So many people are just apathetic; or, at the least, not willing to speak about their views (which I know, it's hard to blame them in a cancel culture society). It's frustrating because I KNOW that the majority of people disagree with, for example, "transgender" nonsense. But they don't speak up. So it creeps in and we end up with what we have now (cancel culture; the doctrine taught in schools, etc.)
Anyway. There is sometimes just a bit of helplessness that washes over me.
 

Leeloo

Woodpecker
Woman
I totally feel you. I also cannot stand boring people. I once stopped hanging out with this woman who, even after several hangouts, seemed like she literally didn't know HOW to go deeper than TV shows and kitchen remodels (yes, I had her in mind when I typed my original post, lol). She was perfectly nice, she was just incredibly boring. I took time out of my precious moments with my kiddos to hang out with her and it just really wasn't worth it. Life's too short.

Ugh. I cannot stand the bored/boring people. I’ve heard the classic saying that only boring people can be bored. I also believe the opposite is very true.

When someone, in this day and age (or ever tbh), claims to be “bored,” they are deeply flawed as a human being. There’s so much out there to do and learn and see and explore. Being “bored” is such a lame excuse. I believe it means they have so little substance inside themselves that they literally need another person to be their entertainment or them or give them something to focus on.

Sorry for rant, this is a personal pet peeve of mine. Up there with people who use the phrase “I deserve...”. I’ll save that rant for another day!!
 

Leeloo

Woodpecker
Woman
I'd like to mention there is a thread on ladies general called "Why have women stopped carrying purses?"

I just want to point out how dangerous this kind of thinking could be. Its get into the "holier-than-thou" sense of we're better than they are because they can't (or won't) talk about more substantial subjects, like politics, and we do.
Don't get me wrong, it's important to talk about these subjects, but is that more important than their faith? We can't allow thoughts like this to distract us from the real goal! While we sit and stew in our confusion and frustration they're probably enjoying themselves and not giving your comments a second thought.


I’d be grateful to hear you further explain your thoughts/argument here. It sounds like you are judging my subjective replies to a genuine question posed here. There should be no right or wrong in this. It reads like you’re calling me out on being shallow for having an opinion on social media in general and making a comparison to this space.

I’m not sure I understand where you’re coming from. I didn’t start the “Purses” thread, nor do I also think it’s frivolous or shallow to contemplate. If you don’t like that topic, don’t comment. If you don’t like this forum, then why are you here? This space is a very different animal from FB. My previous posts were just to show why we like and appreciate being here. What’s your POV?
 

Mrs.DanielH

Robin
Woman
I'd like to mention there is a thread on ladies general called "Why have women stopped carrying purses?"
I'd also like to point out that that particular thread was started by a man. There are multiple threads started by men in the women's forum. Some of which are beta moves. Although i think the purse thread started out kinda silly, it actually gained substance over time.
 

Kitty Tantrum

Woodpecker
Woman
Although i think the purse thread started out kinda silly, it actually gained substance over time.
Bingo. Purses CAN be a pretty banal topic of conversation, but there's a huge difference between our purse thread, wherein we explore purses as a social and cultural phenomenon... and "purse talk" among the lowest common denominator.

"So, like, I bought this purse last weekend. But like, there's not really a good place to put my phone since I just upgraded yesterday to the latest GiganticPixelXL and now it doesn't fit in the pocket I WAS keeping it in. So like, I think I'm going to take the purse back to the store and exchange it because I still have the tags. My quadriplegic teacup rescue pittie peed in it once but I rinsed it out really well and I don't think anyone will notice. I'm hungry. Do you want to go get Thai Food?"
 

Leeloo

Woodpecker
Woman
Bingo. Purses CAN be a pretty banal topic of conversation, but there's a huge difference between our purse thread, wherein we explore purses as a social and cultural phenomenon... and "purse talk" among the lowest common denominator.

"So, like, I bought this purse last weekend. But like, there's not really a good place to put my phone since I just upgraded yesterday to the latest GiganticPixelXL and now it doesn't fit in the pocket I WAS keeping it in. So like, I think I'm going to take the purse back to the store and exchange it because I still have the tags. My quadriplegic teacup rescue pittie peed in it once but I rinsed it out really well and I don't think anyone will notice. I'm hungry. Do you want to go get Thai Food?"

Thank you, I agree. The person who tried to use the Purse thread as, I guess, an example of frivolity, also made it a point to post in that very thread how sexy their SO thinks their smartphone looks in their pocket. I don’t believe any of this is relevant to the general climate here.

It’s not my place to judge of others, but this profile with 4 posts seems to be going hard in regards to values that don’t quite line up here. Also I thought new accounts weren’t supposed to be approved til the 1st of Feb/each month now? Something seems off to me here.


Edit: I guess this person with 4 posts has been around for almost a month. They seem to be here for drama rather than sistership, in my humble opinion. Anyway, it’s not my call. I’m sure the mods will judge as they see fit.
 
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Luna Novem

Woodpecker
Woman
Ugh. I cannot stand the bored/boring people. I’ve heard the classic saying that only boring people can be bored. I also believe the opposite is very true.

When someone, in this day and age (or ever tbh), claims to be “bored,” they are deeply flawed as a human being. There’s so much out there to do and learn and see and explore. Being “bored” is such a lame excuse. I believe it means they have so little substance inside themselves that they literally need another person to be their entertainment or them or give them something to focus on.

Sorry for rant, this is a personal pet peeve of mine. Up there with people who use the phrase “I deserve...”. I’ll save that rant for another day!!
I would have agreed fully with you before COVID. In the spring, I found myself frustrated with people who didn't seem affected negatively by the lockdowns. Like my mom, for example. I was trying to explain to her the depression I was struggling with and her solution was to "organize drawers". I need more than that. I need travel and community and my kids' baseball games. I used to be a person who had a much richer and fuller life. (Yes, I can still do certain things... but nowhere near what I could do before).
I think about the people in the old folks' homes... their lives used to have pinochle or bridge or luncheons or buses to take them to church, and now they are stuck in their rooms and spiral into despair. So I do think there is a threshold where boredom is a legitimate, soul-killing thing.

That being said, I don't assume that any of this is what you meant! I'm pretty sure you're speaking of a more stereotypical "bored" person, in the sense of materialistic or airheaded. And I definitely agree with you on that definition of boredom!
 
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