How to deal with frustration at women in the culture around you?

Luna Novem

Woodpecker
Woman
Bingo. Purses CAN be a pretty banal topic of conversation, but there's a huge difference between our purse thread, wherein we explore purses as a social and cultural phenomenon... and "purse talk" among the lowest common denominator.

"So, like, I bought this purse last weekend. But like, there's not really a good place to put my phone since I just upgraded yesterday to the latest GiganticPixelXL and now it doesn't fit in the pocket I WAS keeping it in. So like, I think I'm going to take the purse back to the store and exchange it because I still have the tags. My quadriplegic teacup rescue pittie peed in it once but I rinsed it out really well and I don't think anyone will notice. I'm hungry. Do you want to go get Thai Food?"
Totally. The purse topic was interesting because it delved into the sociology of it all. And like I said in my original post that started this topic out, these types of "shallower" topics aren't inherently bad. There's nothing wrong with discussing fashion (and when it's combined with sociological or historical aspects, all the better). There IS something wrong (in my opinion) with being so obsessed with fashion that one comes across as having the intelligence of a mannequin.
 

Leeloo

Woodpecker
Woman
I would have agreed fully with you before COVID. In the spring, I found myself frustrated with people who didn't seem affected negatively by the lockdowns. Like my mom, for example. I was trying to explain to her the depression I was struggling with and her solution was to "organize drawers". I need more than that. I need travel and community and my kids' baseball games. I used to be a person who had a much richer and fuller life. (Yes, I can still do certain things... but nowhere near what I could do before).
I think about the people in the old folks' homes... their lives used to have pinochle or bridge or luncheons or buses to take them to church, and now they are stuck in their rooms and spiral into despair. So I do think there is a threshold where boredom is a legitimate, soul-killing thing.

That being said, I don't assume that any of this is what you meant! I'm pretty sure you're speaking of a more stereotypical "bored" person, in the sense of materialistic or airheaded. And I definitely agree with you on that definition of boredom!
For sure, I did mean my comment in the general sense. Covid quarantine has certainly brought out things in ourselves that we normally wouldn’t deal with. I myself think that I’ve been seeing depression in myself during this last year. It seems to be a battle each day just to get up the energy to come up with things to make each day different from the rest.

I didn’t mean to come across as judgemental and if I did, I apologize.
I know we’re all fighting different battles. I’m struggling to keep mine from defining my life and who I am.
 

Luna Novem

Woodpecker
Woman
For sure, I did mean my comment in the general sense. Covid quarantine has certainly brought out things in ourselves that we normally wouldn’t deal with. I myself think that I’ve been seeing depression in myself during this last year. It seems to be a battle each day just to get up the energy to come up with things to make each day different from the rest.

I didn’t mean to come across as judgemental and if I did, I apologize.
I know we’re all fighting different battles. I’m struggling to keep mine from defining my life and who I am.
Nah, no worries. I was pretty sure what you meant. :)
 

Soli Deo Gloria

Chicken
Woman
No, I'm not seeking "likes". It goes beyond facebook, honestly; I just used that as a starting example. It's everywhere. My own parents won't discuss politics with me. I just get really frustrated that 70+% of people seem satisfied with the status quo. I can understand if they're hard left. While I don't agree with leftists, I can at least respect that they put passion into their views. So many people are just apathetic; or, at the least, not willing to speak about their views (which I know, it's hard to blame them in a cancel culture society). It's frustrating because I KNOW that the majority of people disagree with, for example, "transgender" nonsense. But they don't speak up. So it creeps in and we end up with what we have now (cancel culture; the doctrine taught in schools, etc.)
Anyway. There is sometimes just a bit of helplessness that washes over me.
Thanks for elaborating! I understand where you are coming from. I get so frustrated with my mom because I will try talking to my mom about politics (she believes what she sees on mainstream media), and she'll humm and nod like she doesn't care either way...
I'm sorry you get that sense of helplessness. It doesn't help much in knowing I understand, and as it seems most women on here do too
 

Luna Novem

Woodpecker
Woman
Thanks for elaborating! I understand where you are coming from. I get so frustrated with my mom because I will try talking to my mom about politics (she believes what she sees on mainstream media), and she'll humm and nod like she doesn't care either way...
I'm sorry you get that sense of helplessness. It doesn't help much in knowing I understand, and as it seems most women on here do too
I do think that women on here understand. But we are "horrible internalized misogynists" in the eyes of mainstreamers. We're on a Roosh forum for crying out loud! Gasp! Pearl clutch!
Sigh...
It baffles my mind that there only seems to be a small percentage of people who see reality for what it is. I'd pay money to know if all the other people are for real, or if they're just keeping quiet for popularity's sake.
 

Soli Deo Gloria

Chicken
Woman
I’d be grateful to hear you further explain your thoughts/argument here. It sounds like you are judging my subjective replies to a genuine question posed here. There should be no right or wrong in this. It reads like you’re calling me out on being shallow for having an opinion on social media in general and making a comparison to this space.
Dont twist my words, please. I was in no intent calling you out for your reasoning. I didn't call you shallow. Someone even said they thought the purse thread started out kind of silly. I stopped following that thread after posting and didn't get to see how it developed. So I do apologize for that.
Thank you, I agree. The person who tried to use the Purse thread as, I guess, an example of frivolity, also made it a point to post in that very thread how sexy their SO thinks their smartphone looks in their pocket.
Let me make it clear, I said, "placing my phone in my back pocket hasn't stopped my SO from calling me sexy" because the first post in that thread made a comment that is wasn't sexy to carry your phone in your back pocket. It wasn't irrelevant, and I was just stating my personal experience trying to make it a point that I care about what my SO thinks about how I look, not so much other people.
It’s not my place to judge of others, but this profile with 4 posts seems to be going hard in regards to values that don’t quite line up here.
You dont know my values. I'm sorry I havent posted once a day yet, as I've only joined not even a month ago...
I’m sure the mods will judge as they see fit.
If you don’t like this forum, then why are you here? This space is a very different animal from FB. My previous posts were just to show why we like and appreciate being here. What’s your POV?
I apologize for openly pointing out an observation that I honestly didnt see anything wrong with. I do think you took my reply and went a bit far with it. I understand my way of saying things is often taken offensively because I state my opinions and ideas with assertiveness even if I am wrong. With that being said, I truly am sorry if I offended you in any way or caused you any negative feelings toward me.
 

Leeloo

Woodpecker
Woman
Dont twist my words, please. I was in no intent calling you out for your reasoning. I didn't call you shallow. Someone even said they thought the purse thread started out kind of silly. I stopped following that thread after posting and didn't get to see how it developed. So I do apologize for that.

Let me make it clear, I said, "placing my phone in my back pocket hasn't stopped my SO from calling me sexy" because the first post in that thread made a comment that is wasn't sexy to carry your phone in your back pocket. It wasn't irrelevant, and I was just stating my personal experience trying to make it a point that I care about what my SO thinks about how I look, not so much other people.

You dont know my values. I'm sorry I havent posted once a day yet, as I've only joined not even a month ago...


I apologize for openly pointing out an observation that I honestly didnt see anything wrong with. I do think you took my reply and went a bit far with it. I understand my way of saying things is often taken offensively because I state my opinions and ideas with assertiveness even if I am wrong. With that being said, I truly am sorry if I offended you in any way or caused you any negative feelings toward me.

I’m not twisting anything. It just seemed that from your few posts you are maybe ‘coming across’ as possibly a troll, or maybe just a naturally argumentative personality. That’s not my call to make. It’s ok to question things, but I did take offense at your holier-than-thou comment when you took that stance yourself in regards to the purse thing.

I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt, because I am not a confrontational person and I’d rather drop this in favor of more productive discourse. We’re all just here for conversation and shared values, I believe. Let’s move forward.
 

Salinger

Kingfisher
I'd like to mention there is a thread on ladies general called "Why have women stopped carrying purses?"

I just want to point out how dangerous this kind of thinking could be. Its get into the "holier-than-thou" sense of we're better than they are because they can't (or won't) talk about more substantial subjects, like politics, and we do.
Don't get me wrong, it's important to talk about these subjects, but is that more important than their faith? We can't allow thoughts like this to distract us from the real goal! While we sit and stew in our confusion and frustration they're probably enjoying themselves and not giving your comments a second thought.

Hey now...I actually started that thread to discuss the deeper meanings behind this change. For instance, carrying a purse for the act of being feminine or the trend towards making women more like men, etc.
 

SchoolApple

Sparrow
Woman
It sometimes gets so tiring when people around you don't seem to care about the degeneracy overtaking our culture. I'm including women who call themselves conservative Christians. On facebook, for example, the only posts of mine that get a response are pictures of family or cutesy sayings. Anything remotely political gets crickets (although I do have three or four likeminded friends I can count on for a positive response).

Why do so many women seem only able to discuss cute puppies, the latest TV show, or the way they're redecorating their kitchen? (Not that these are bad things to discuss; but you know what I mean).

Is it completely wasteful to share things like this on normie social media? Is there ever a way to get through to these people? You'd THINK they'd want a decent society for their kiddos...
The people who own Facebook have put you in a "walled garden" or shadow banned your effective political posts. Zuckerberg is a Communist.
 

MBell

Sparrow
Woman
I just wanted to add my input to this discussion and ask for advice, as it pertains to an issue I am facing. I have been friends for years with a woman that I've known since I was right out of high school. She asked me for some feedback on her online presence and profile for Linkedin since she is looking for a new job, and I ended up finding out that she had a lot of social media profiles when I did a google search to see if anything else came up that could impact her job search. I was shocked to find that she has a bunch of accounts (that are hers and definitively linked to her name) that have content which freaked me out since it is so different from the person I know. She had a lot of really eye-popping stuff and she was espousing her love for all of these same-sex fictional couples on TV shows etc. She even writes graphic fiction about their sex lives! I just was shocked because I never picked up on anything in our conversations that would lead me to believe she was a supporter or interested in such topics. I'm conflicted about how to proceed, and if I should bring it up to her or if I should rethink my relationship with her. The ideas she was supporting were really hardcore and different from my lifestyle and faith, and I think she could be a negative influence in my life if she truly operates from the mindset she shows online. Thanks in advance!
 

muhtea

Robin
Woman
I just wanted to add my input to this discussion and ask for advice, as it pertains to an issue I am facing. I have been friends for years with a woman that I've known since I was right out of high school. She asked me for some feedback on her online presence and profile for Linkedin since she is looking for a new job, and I ended up finding out that she had a lot of social media profiles when I did a google search to see if anything else came up that could impact her job search. I was shocked to find that she has a bunch of accounts (that are hers and definitively linked to her name) that have content which freaked me out since it is so different from the person I know. She had a lot of really eye-popping stuff and she was espousing her love for all of these same-sex fictional couples on TV shows etc. She even writes graphic fiction about their sex lives! I just was shocked because I never picked up on anything in our conversations that would lead me to believe she was a supporter or interested in such topics. I'm conflicted about how to proceed, and if I should bring it up to her or if I should rethink my relationship with her. The ideas she was supporting were really hardcore and different from my lifestyle and faith, and I think she could be a negative influence in my life if she truly operates from the mindset she shows online. Thanks in advance!
I would just say "Looks good!" and then be busy for the rest of time. In my experience it's not worth confronting people, especially if they are dishonest in the first place. This is a lot easier to do when you're not all tied together on various anti-social media platforms - another reason it's all just ghey. Makes the ghosting a bit obvious if you have to unfriend and unfollow half a dozen times. :rolleyes:
 

messaggera

Woodpecker
Woman
I have been friends for years with a woman that I've known since I was right out of high school. She asked me for some feedback on her online presence and profile for Linkedin since she is looking for a new job, and I ended up finding out that she had a lot of social media profiles when I did a google search to see if anything else came up that could impact her job search. I was shocked to find that she has a bunch of accounts (that are hers and definitively linked to her name) that have content which freaked me out since it is so different from the person I know. She had a lot of really eye-popping stuff and she was espousing her love for all of these same-sex fictional couples on TV shows etc. She even writes graphic fiction about their sex lives! I just was shocked because I never picked up on anything in our conversations that would lead me to believe she was a supporter or interested in such topics. I'm conflicted about how to proceed, and if I should bring it up to her or if I should rethink my relationship with her. The ideas she was supporting were really hardcore and different from my lifestyle and faith, and I think she could be a negative influence in my life if she truly operates from the mindset she shows online. Thanks in advance!

Hi MBell.

Individuals tend to give advice in three ways, 1) sharing personal experiences that are similar 2) providing clichés that provide prompts to think the issue over and 3) taking the observation approach and providing information that may or may not be helpful.

Have your values, goals, and priorities changed since high school, as where, you see yourself as a different (or stronger in faith) individual who may not be interested in a relationship with the friend in question?

If she asked you to provide feedback on her online presence just be honest - if she is a reasonable friend you should be able to be honest without her taking the criticism as a personal attack. There are approaches to alleviate confrontation. One approach is to provide the online accounts inventory to be confirmed by her, and then ask her for her opinion as if she was an employer hiring her. This approach allows her to critique herself for employment, without you coming across as judgemental and avoiding the "don't shoot the messenger" reaction from her.

If you find her behaviour disturbing to the point it makes you feel uncomfortable to be around, as a friend, you have to decide what value the relationship offers within your lifestyle and faith. What are those old clichés:

"tell me with whom you associate, and I will tell you who you are,"

"keep company with individuals who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best."

If you think she could be a negative influence in your life perhaps you are half way there to knowing an answer, which best suits your life.

I can think of two personal relationship experiences (a long-term boyfriend and a college best friend) that could serve as advice, but I think you having a conversation with God may help more with the decision making process than me sharing similar experiences.

I truly hopes this helps, and in the end the only judgement that has value is God's .
 

MBell

Sparrow
Woman
Hi MBell.

Individuals tend to give advice in three ways, 1) sharing personal experiences that are similar 2) providing clichés that provide prompts to think the issue over and 3) taking the observation approach and providing information that may or may not be helpful.

Have your values, goals, and priorities changed since high school, as where, you see yourself as a different (or stronger in faith) individual who may not be interested in a relationship with the friend in question?

If she asked you to provide feedback on her online presence just be honest - if she is a reasonable friend you should be able to be honest without her taking the criticism as a personal attack. There are approaches to alleviate confrontation. One approach is to provide the online accounts inventory to be confirmed by her, and then ask her for her opinion as if she was an employer hiring her. This approach allows her to critique herself for employment, without you coming across as judgemental and avoiding the "don't shoot the messenger" reaction from her.

If you find her behaviour disturbing to the point it makes you feel uncomfortable to be around, as a friend, you have to decide what value the relationship offers within your lifestyle and faith. What are those old clichés:





If you think she could be a negative influence in your life perhaps you are half way there to knowing an answer, which best suits your life.

I can think of two personal relationship experiences (a long-term boyfriend and a college best friend) that could serve as advice, but I think you having a conversation with God may help more with the decision making process than me sharing similar experiences.

I truly hopes this helps, and in the end the only judgement that has value is God's .
Thank you very much for your thoughtful reply. I am definitely going to cut ties with her, as I have prayed a great deal about it. She always presented herself in public and in our interactions as a positive, religious person. I do not know why she took a turn, and I am looking to be honest without coming down as too judgmental on her. I am going to extricate myself from the situation, as nothing is worth weakening my faith. I appreciate your insight and it definitely made me think a lot. I feel that your perspective solidified my conclusions, and I greatly appreciate it!
 

Kitty Tantrum

Woodpecker
Woman
If a friend approached me specifically requesting advice about her online/social presence for job search purposes, and a bunch of "deviant" stuff popped up... I'd probably be brutally honest. 'Cause either she's going to take my advice for what it's worth and make the necessary changes to be taken seriously as a competent adult, OR she's going to get offended and not want to speak to me. Might as well accelerate to the conclusion.

All the fictional "shipping" (as they call it), and the writing of erotic stories about fictional characters, etc. that is so popular these days, might be THE CRINGE-IEST POSSIBLE combination of arrested development/extended childhood, not being able to compartmentalize fantasy from reality, utter lack of self-awareness, and disordered sexual imprinting/impulse that I have ever seen. It seems to be what naturally happens to women who become sexualized when they are physiologically mature but mentally still young children.

I guess I'd try to put it as impersonally as possible. It's not about what *I* think. It's about what a potential employer will think. And unless she's looking to get hired by AnthroFurryLemonFictionErotica.com, having any of that stuff attached to her searchable identity is professional suicide.
 

estraudi

Pelican
Gold Member
Great discussion and very fine points made all around.

But let's not forget that if you're feeling bored yourself and need more stimuli then that is an indicator that you yourself are just like the people one may be ranting about.

Empty your cup, focus on your family and their wellbeing and you will be rewarded with peace of mind yourself.
 

OutlawJustice

Sparrow
Woman
It sometimes gets so tiring when people around you don't seem to care about the degeneracy overtaking our culture. I'm including women who call themselves conservative Christians. On facebook, for example, the only posts of mine that get a response are pictures of family or cutesy sayings. Anything remotely political gets crickets (although I do have three or four likeminded friends I can count on for a positive response).

Why do so many women seem only able to discuss cute puppies, the latest TV show, or the way they're redecorating their kitchen? (Not that these are bad things to discuss; but you know what I mean).

Is it completely wasteful to share things like this on normie social media? Is there ever a way to get through to these people? You'd THINK they'd want a decent society for their kiddos...
I know. Find your like minded people in your local area and bond. We'll need each other in the near future.
 

Vigilant

Woodpecker
Woman
Like other members have said, I wouldn't waste any time on social media. I still have my FB account because that's where the homeschool groups are and I really need them, but I haven't posted in years and I don't follow any of my contacts. I loose faith in humanity when I see all that shallowness!

Unfortunately, even most people I know in real life lack substance. I partly blame political correctness for this. People are so afraid of speaking their mind that they've become bland and empty. That's why I love this forum so much! Apart from my closest friends and family, this is the only space where I can have deep and honest conversations.
I think the PC religion revealed what the living dead truly are. Without Christ, we are not able to mature, thereby following generations become regressive in morals and intelligence. Being an adult these days, even sophisticated ones are usually adult children pretending to be grown up.
 

Vigilant

Woodpecker
Woman
The way I deal with frustration at women in the culture around me, is I share my burden with Christ, and pray immediately for their salvation, asking God to cause them surrender to Him, and that they would measure their distorted image against His perfect design. So, I make use of a lot of daily arrow prayers. Because there but for the grace of God, go I.
 
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