How to forgive my family when this is over...

Christhugger

Kingfisher
I live across the country from most of my family, a 5 hr flight. My wife and I have a sibling and some cousins that are a 7hr drive away.. They're the closest relatives.

Everyone is growing increasingly hysterical about Coronavirus, they won't shut up about it when we talk on the phone, even though I never bring it up.

We had our first child back in the spring. The only time the grandparents have seen him is when we travelled back to visit them in the summer. Tentative plans for them to come visit keep getting cancelled. We were told to stay out west for Christmas. Nobody wants us coming home. Now it seems the 7hr drive relatives who are planning to come to my house for Christmas might be getting cold feet...

I am about to lose it with all of them! We are trying to be nice... Sending lots of pictures and videos of the grandson... But I am honestly near the point of cutting everyone off and telling them to hit bricks.

At the same time, we already knew we lived far away and alone from family in the first place, before Corona. It's not like they'd be here to visit and help more than a few times per year anyways... And I wouldn't have be upset then.

But even if there's no big blowout in the next 6 months, I just don't know how I can forgive them in the future for abandoning us like this... Especially my dad. He's got his face diaper stapled on and his only concern is taking care of his 90 yr old mother...

Am I just being selfish and dramatic? Should I consider it a compliment that everyone thinks we're doing fine on our own?? (Even thought we're barely holding on here)

This is what (((they))) want, to destroy happy families like mine. I can't let them do that!... But, do I really have to be the one who bends in all of this? Me? Not them??

A year from now should I just say "no big deal" when they finally want to see their two year old first grandchild, "I'm glad you got your vaccine" ?
 
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Thomas More

Hummingbird
I would suggest forgiving this weakness in them. Everybody on RVF is extremely skeptical of Covid, but many normies take it seriously, and it's not realistic to expect them to see the light. It's a shame they are not able to be in your son's life unless you go to them, but I wouldn't burn any bridges over this. The Covid situation will pass in time.
 

EuropeanCanon

Woodpecker
Trad Catholic
I live across the country from most of my family, a 5 hr flight. My wife and I have a sibling and some cousins that are a 7hr drive away.. They're the closest relatives.

Everyone is growing increasingly hysterical about Coronavirus, they won't shut up about it when we talk on the phone, even though I never bring it up.

We had our first child back in the spring. The only time the grandparents have seen him is when we travelled back to visit them in the summer. Tentative plans for them to come visit keep getting cancelled. We were told to stay out west for Christmas. Nobody wants us coming home. Now it seems the 7hr drive relatives who are planning to come to my house for Christmas might be getting cold feet...

I am about to lose it with all of them! We are trying to be nice... Sending lots of pictures and videos of the grandson... But I am honestly near the point of cutting everyone off and telling them to hit bricks.

At the same time, we already knew we lived far away and alone from family in the first place, before Corona. It's not like they'd be here to visit and help more than a few times per year anyways... And I wouldn't have be upset then.

But even if there's no big blowout in the next 6 months, I just don't know how I can forgive them in the future for abandoning us like this... Especially my dad. He's got his face diaper stapled on and his only concern is taking care of his 90 yr old mother...

Am I just being selfish and dramatic? Should I consider it a compliment that everyone thinks we're doing fine on our own?? (Even thought we're barely holding on here)

This is what (((they))) want, to destroy happy familiez like mine. I can't let them do that!... But, do I really have to be the one who bends in all of this? Me? Not them??

A year from now should I just say "no big deal" when they finally want to see their two year old first grandchild, "I'm glad you got your vaccine" ?
It is pretty tough seeing how indoctrinated people are. I have got to the point with my own family where I just avoid them now LOL
 

MtnMan

Kingfisher
Man, its really really hard to deal with this situation. I am struggling with my mother in law who only lives 45 minutes away. But as said above, you cannot change these people's minds.

I don't really have any wise wisdom, other than you only get one family. I don't expect the CV situation to really ever go away. It might die down, but now that the precedent is set, they can whip up this frenzy again whenever they want. I would start mentally preparing to be ostracized from society to some degree unless you plan on taking the vaccine and whatever other nightmares that will roll down the pipe.

Its a terrible feeling to know how brainwashed so many people are, but we have to deal with it the best we can. I too have a very young child and I wonder what life is going to be like for her. The only thing I can do is give her the best life possible and try to balance this insanity as much as I can.

I don't think you should cut off your family, that will not teach them anything. It will probably further intrench them in their beliefs. We have to work on forgiving them for their extreme weakness, which is very difficult.
 

Christhugger

Kingfisher
Thanks guys. I'm trying not to despair too much, it just seems like I could reach a breaking point coming up to Christmas. I don't want to do anything I'll regret like scream at my sibling or parents, which was the impetus for me making this post.. We have generally been a normal, happy, non-dramatic middle-class family up till now. Only that we've been spread out across the country quite a bit in recent years, which is difficult anyways, but was my own decision.

I'll just have to hope and pray that things will return to normal within a year, after the vaccine, and my family will stop freaking out... This is the first grandchild in my immediate family, so a pretty big change. Hopefully there will be more in the near future from myself and our siblings. :)
 

Lovinglife

 
Banned
NPCs fucking everywhere bro!!

Sometimes I feel like the only human being on the planet apart from coming on this forum. I feel like I'm living in the Matrix where if you are against the program (narrative) you will get attacked (lose your job, doxxed). Feminism, PC culture and now this Chinese virus...

This whole Covid-19 isn't about Covid-19, its about people being afraid of death even tho you have a 99.9% survival rate if you are healthy. Pushing the fear agenda controls most of the population. If you are against it, the people with fear feel more fear i find. When people are in too much fear (emotions), logic goes out the window hence why we keep hearing about Covid-19 and stopped hear about the HCQ drug.

This year has shown me how much of the population are sheep and can't think for themselves.

What gives me hope is my goal of pissing off to a 3rd world country by the beach with low population away from all this bullshit.

This year has been so hard on everyone living on this planet.

The biggest red pill i find is to accept most of the people on this planet are sheep hence try not be too hard on your family bro. You will feel alone at times but you will also be a real free man without a mask on.
 
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ginsu

Kingfisher
Agnostic
I understand you, I wouldn't take it further than raging at them a few times if you can't take it anymore bottling stuff up is not good in the long term

Family is not about getting along always or having the same ideas, but its knowing that no matter what you fight about the blood keeps you together in the end

Just like that saying nobody else is allowed to bully my little brother but me. We fought constantly but if any kids from outside did my brother harm I was ready to go to war for him

Don't cut the contact completely
 

Chains of Peter

Woodpecker
Catholic
I've basically given up on every relative who isn't my parents, and even with them I'd prefer to maintain social distance. I very much like hanging out with my new friends who are "Corona-heathens".
 

PastaSsempa

 
Banned
Hey man, I get where you are coming from. Basically, you don't need to put up with them. A big problem in our times is the belief parents can do no wrong. Sometimes it is good to cut ties and not be sentimental about it. I did the same, and, quite frankly, I don't miss them. It feels better to be alone than to be around them, as harsh as it sounds. Parents ain't perfect, this we all know, but sometimes parents are destructive, evil, and psychotic, and more often than not they don't realize or would ever admit to it. Don't beat yourself up, get the dust off your coat, walk forward and don't look back.
 

aynrus

 
Banned
NPCs fucking everywhere bro!!

Sometimes I feel like the only human being on the planet apart from coming on this forum. I feel like I'm living in the Matrix where if you are against the program (narrative) you will get attacked (lose your job, doxxed). Feminism, PC culture and now this Chinese virus...

This whole Covid-19 isn't about Covid-19, its about people being afraid of death even tho you have a 99.9% survival rate if you are healthy. Pushing the fear agenda controls most of the population. If you are against it, the people with fear feel more fear i find. When people are in too much fear (emotions), logic goes out the window hence why we keep hearing about Covid-19 and stopped hear about the HCQ drug.

This year has shown me how much of the population are sheep and can't think for themselves.

What gives me hope is my goal of pissing off to a 3rd world country by the beach with low population away from all this bullshit.

This year has been so hard on everyone living on this planet.

The biggest red pill i find is to accept most of the people on this planet are sheep hence try not be too hard on your family bro. You will feel alone at times but you will also be a real free man without a mask on.

I have to give them credit - this hoax they pulled is a lot better than even Soviet Communism (I grew up in it)... communism was just a theory of redistribution of wealth, and the virus hoax is something that gets to one's deepest instincts, survival instinct, natural animal fear of contagion, etc.
Virus hoax is much more effective than communist or any political ideology - much smarter to use contagion hoax to subvert freedom-loving Western countries. And crazy communist Marxism-Leninism ideology took over entire huge country of USSR for whole 70 years. So, yes, never underestimate the conformism of the sheep and their willingness to justify and do the vilest things in the name of whatever hoax.
 
I've been using WWJD when it comes to COVID sheep.

The majority of humans are social creatures who are conditioned to follow norms. Its a requirement for group survival. Independent thinkers are branded sociopaths and if you display your independent thought... not even push it but just let them know you are different they will distance themselves from you even if they secretly agree.

I think you should stay in touch with your family if you love them. Just keep your "conspiracy theories" to yourself and deflect attempts at them goading you. Know that they are fearful sheep and nothing on Earth can change it. They're still your family and unless you're a combat veteran they are the only people you can ever trust.
 

EndlessGravity

Pelican
Protestant
Am I just being selfish and dramatic? Should I consider it a compliment that everyone thinks we're doing fine on our own?? (Even thought we're barely holding on here)

Yes, you are being selfish and dramatic but that's understandable given the circumstances. We're in a literal dystopian nightmare. However, you're going to need to work on accepting that most people in our society, even family, either don't care about you or are too stupid to see what they're doing is the same thing as not caring. If you take it personally, it'll eat you up and you won't be able to act as effectively for your family.

A year from now should I just say "no big deal" when they finally want to see their two year old first grandchild, "I'm glad you got your vaccine" ?

No, you shouldn't forget when other men act like cowards and idiots. You put yourself and your family at risk the more you involve them in your life. I hate to sound dire but this is the case now more than ever. On family, you might want to try to talk to your father privately. Prepare for the conversation and stay calm but hammer your concerns home. However, also be ready to accept whatever he says.

Cutting toxic family off is a double edge sword (and your family, either intentionally or unintentionally, has become toxic). If you interact with them, they'll bring their craziness to your kids. However, if you cut them off, however quietly, that also damages your kids through the lack of the relationships. There isn't a right answer and you have to take whichever path you believe works out best.

Our children's Boomer grandparents are play-acting that this is the plague and won't leave their houses. It's convenient how that ensures they don't have to care about anyone. Good riddance is all I have to say.
 

Christhugger

Kingfisher
^ But dad is trapped taking care of grandma, and mom and aunt. Pretty much all the old women in that half of the family, all in less than good health. It's a far from ideal life he's going through and I sympathize.

Mom grows more intolerable each year with liberalism and solipsism. Last election (in Canada) she talks to our generation (me + sibling + cousins) about how she and her cohort should vote for whoever is giving the most free stuff to the elderly, because us kids are "doing just fine". Says this to my face...

Dad's a conservative certainly and doesn't like this crap, but he's hopelessly trapped and exhausted. Manages to eek out a "who's go to pay for this?" now and then.

I still can't tell what's going on... Do they really think it's a plague? Are they being selfish and "playing plague" as you say? Or do they merely think I'm doing just fine and don't need any help so they don't feel the need to travel and risk it? Do they love themselves more than they love me and my child?

I guess I should be preparing mentally for the idea that I need to start working harder on relationships with siblings and cousins now, and less with the parents... I hope they come around and choose to start participating in our new family in a proper way, but I don't know what to do to motivate that.
 

jarlo

Woodpecker
Orthodox
^ But dad is trapped taking care of grandma, and mom and aunt. Pretty much all the old women in that half of the family, all in less than good health. It's a far from ideal life he's going through and I sympathize.

Mom grows more intolerable each year with liberalism and solipsism. Last election (in Canada) she talks to our generation (me + sibling + cousins) about how she and her cohort should vote for whoever is giving the most free stuff to the elderly, because us kids are "doing just fine". Says this to my face...

Dad's a conservative certainly and doesn't like this crap, but he's hopelessly trapped and exhausted. Manages to eek out a "who's go to pay for this?" now and then.

I still can't tell what's going on... Do they really think it's a plague? Are they being selfish and "playing plague" as you say? Or do they merely think I'm doing just fine and don't need any help so they don't feel the need to travel and risk it? Do they love themselves more than they love me and my child?

I guess I should be preparing mentally for the idea that I need to start working harder on relationships with siblings and cousins now, and less with the parents... I hope they come around and choose to start participating in our new family in a proper way, but I don't know what to do to motivate that.
Do you have people around you can talk with to think things through? A priest, a close friend, a mentor? I'm going through similar things now - it's not easy.
 
^ But dad is trapped taking care of grandma, and mom and aunt. Pretty much all the old women in that half of the family, all in less than good health. It's a far from ideal life he's going through and I sympathize.

Mom grows more intolerable each year with liberalism and solipsism. Last election (in Canada) she talks to our generation (me + sibling + cousins) about how she and her cohort should vote for whoever is giving the most free stuff to the elderly, because us kids are "doing just fine". Says this to my face...

Dad's a conservative certainly and doesn't like this crap, but he's hopelessly trapped and exhausted. Manages to eek out a "who's go to pay for this?" now and then.

I still can't tell what's going on... Do they really think it's a plague? Are they being selfish and "playing plague" as you say? Or do they merely think I'm doing just fine and don't need any help so they don't feel the need to travel and risk it? Do they love themselves more than they love me and my child?

I guess I should be preparing mentally for the idea that I need to start working harder on relationships with siblings and cousins now, and less with the parents... I hope they come around and choose to start participating in our new family in a proper way, but I don't know what to do to motivate that.

Your problem is you care what they think. I know exactly what you mean because I have the same problem. Their thoughts should mean nothing to you. If she was a good mother in your childhood... be nice to her. Kill her with kindness. Send her flowers or chocolate and speak only of good things when you interact with her. Remember all women and low testosterone men are irrational and it is not their fault for giving in to irrational fear. It is society's fault for allowing the fear to exist.
 

Nordwand

Pelican
Other Christian
^ But dad is trapped taking care of grandma, and mom and aunt. Pretty much all the old women in that half of the family, all in less than good health. It's a far from ideal life he's going through and I sympathize.

Mom grows more intolerable each year with liberalism and solipsism. Last election (in Canada) she talks to our generation (me + sibling + cousins) about how she and her cohort should vote for whoever is giving the most free stuff to the elderly, because us kids are "doing just fine". Says this to my face...

Dad's a conservative certainly and doesn't like this crap, but he's hopelessly trapped and exhausted. Manages to eek out a "who's go to pay for this?" now and then.

I still can't tell what's going on... Do they really think it's a plague? Are they being selfish and "playing plague" as you say? Or do they merely think I'm doing just fine and don't need any help so they don't feel the need to travel and risk it? Do they love themselves more than they love me and my child?

I guess I should be preparing mentally for the idea that I need to start working harder on relationships with siblings and cousins now, and less with the parents... I hope they come around and choose to start participating in our new family in a proper way, but I don't know what to do to motivate that.
From what I've seen, many do think Covid-19 is the Angel of Death-an all conquering entity, that sweeps aside all in it's path. As far as building bridges afterwards goes, in respect of my workplace, I now know that there are people who really cannot be trusted, not just in my department, but right up to executive level, and I intend to have as little to do with them as possible from hereon in.
 

EndlessGravity

Pelican
Protestant
I still can't tell what's going on... Do they really think it's a plague? Are they being selfish and "playing plague" as you say? Or do they merely think I'm doing just fine and don't need any help so they don't feel the need to travel and risk it? Do they love themselves more than they love me and my child?

Here's a lesson it takes some men decades to learn: it doesn't matter. Whether they're stupid or malicious or confused, the results speak for themselves and probably can't be changed. ALL the reasons lead to the same place. So your questions are mostly irrelevant even if you're still looking for a sign they can be saved.

You have to accept you can't go back and carry anyone that refuses you. It doesn't matter why or how. You risk them drowning your family when they pull you down with them. Again, I hate to sound dire but you have to see this risk immediately. Your family sounds toxic, although I can't fully tell about your father.
 

Zagor

Woodpecker
My parents are the biggest NPC's there are and I've given up on trying to redpill them. My mother wears two masks over her mouth. My father refuses to go to the store due to fear. I really can't deal with that kind fo stupidity so we just don't talk about corona and they know better than to pontificate about it to me as I will probalby lash out in fury, They are grown up people, they can make decision from themselves. And suffer the potential consequences. Sounds harsh, but it's the reality.
 
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