I know it doesn't come from a bad place. He is always so happy to talk to me. Usually I show up the day BEFORE surgery, and he tells me when I get there. Not a week late with him calling me. But preventative care etc.I actually was going to bring this up-- I think there's a tendency to call people worldly/materialistic/et al when often they grew up poor or otherwise insecure and working hard to be well-off makes them happy. So I don't necessarily think it comes from a bad place.
My dad constantly has money issues and thrift shops/dumpster dives all the time and I think that kind of stress can be a sort of materialism, too. So that's the opposite end of the spectrum but it's not always better.
(I grew up "poor" too but American 90s working poor wasn't that bad and my mom is good with money, so it often strikes me how the quality of between me and my husband was neglible.)
Sometimes you just have to reach out to people. My husband's parents rarely, if ever call or visit, and we only live an hour away from them, but I tell him to do it anyway. We had my father-in-law watch our son for few hours recently and he was tickled pink. My mom harasses me constantly (out of love, I call her too) but I always have to be the one to go visit her, and I do it anyway, because I know one day sooner than later that won't be the case (and she'll probably be living with us in a few years anyway). I do talk to my dad somewhat frequently and my brother probably a few times a week.
Anyway, life is short, and sometimes we have to do things that are awkward or inconvenient!
It's getting everyone somewhere together without my mother being upset, too. She is so hurt to see us thrive without her. Like she is alone and older and having trouble with it, though she's actually really beautiful and youthful and has been successful. She's much prettier than I am.
My parents were married a long time. Until I was 30. And she affords my home and her only sibling's home, in the wilderness, so we can all be together. her brother has been in jail my entire life basically. For murdering someone he says broke into his house. They're not fancy houses. They're just ours. And we all have each other. And I can't hurt my momma's feelings.