I basically second everything you said here. I wanted to add that I think it's possible for a woman to love you but not respect you and the latter is actually far more important as far as her desire to be with you.When a woman loves you, she really loves you. Once she has lost that feeling of love, she will never respect you again. That's a woman's biological nature.
There is no way to ever create a legal circumstance that will counter that effectively.
I was roughly as clueless as you were about women's nature in my previous marriage. She was a terrible wife in most ways and eventually cheated on me, among other things. Still, I had this dumb, romantic "beta" idea that we she was something like my soul mate and that I should try to "work through it." It's embarrassing now to think I was ever like that, but I was. Even after we divorced we had a tortured on-again-and-off-again relationship that went on for years where she'd be with some bad boy, it wouldn't work out, and then she'd show up again and tell me she really loved me.
I always offered to take her back and when I did she'd quickly disappear again. I didn't understand her behavior at all and it literally drove me to the point where I considered suicide. Again, embarrassing to think about now, but I didn't have God or even "the red pill" in my life at the time, and that's where I was.
Thinking back on it now, I think she did really love me. She just couldn't respect a man who was willing to take her back after all she'd done and no woman can really be excited to be with a man she perceives as weak and unworthy of her respect.