I'm not sure how you can have any clarity with respect to evaluating suitability if you're making out with someone. There's nothing natural about that. You only perceive it to be natural because of the influence of secular modernity. Hand-holding is a sign of commitment and exclusivity. Its definitely not helpful in the getting to know one another phase because you're already playing at being together instead of trying to work out whether you should be together. If you're committed then get engaged; if you're not committed then don't hold hands.As a 33 yo virgin who has been in long-term relationships which included making out I can't say I share this view.
Yes, even from my experience there is a risk of going too far, but it's natural for relationships to progress evenly in desire, intellectual intimacy and commitment categories. I wouldn't want a woman who I don't know whether she desires me physically.
If you are with a godly woman you can arrange reasonable boundaries and guard each other not to overstep them and if you do repent together in front of God, the key point is to set them wisely so there is no danger of having sex even if you overstep them.
Jacob kissed Rachel when he met her for the first time and waited 7 years before marrying her. You, with your past of serial fornication now went to the other extreme and criticize even hand-holding...