More than ever in my life I feel like I live in a country with zombies.
As a kid I was already surprised when around 10 years of age, certain brand names became popular.
I couldn't grasp that, before 10 years old I wasn't aware of the existence of brands, I learned Kids that wore Nikes were cool and those that didn't were not cool weren't. The same for Jeans, Cars jeans were cool, others weren't.
I vividly memorized that moment. During high school this behaviour seemed to peak. I remember getting in discussions with people on it. Why do you care and their inability to answer me, but them being very passionate about it.
Covid is a similar moment for me, like history is repeating, me asking why do you care? You just go with it. People repeating the lines, "we have to keep eachother safe".
I felt as unsafe as when I was a kid, I felt I didn't understand the people around me anymore. What leads the force around them. What makes them think Nikes are good and Covid is bad?
What always surprised me is that most people don't really think about it, they just go with the flow, when you're 10 nikes are cool, at 15 you go out and kiss for the first time, and 18 you get drunk all the time, if you are 22 and get drunk all the time you are a loser, if you are 24 you should have finished your studies otherwise you're a loser.
It feels that a human system has been created centered around a new morality. To study, to comply, to mortgage, to work, to sex, but for what?
Sometimes I don't know, am I crazy? or is the world crazy? I tried to adapt to the world in the last 10 years but that's a soul sucking experience that suggest no-one should do.
Right now I only can think to myself, turn to god. Don't try to find unifying the human realm. Whatever it tells you.
I discovered Judges 10.
Tola and Jair - After Abim′elech there arose to deliver Israel Tola the son of Pu′ah, son of Dodo, a man of Is′sachar; and he lived at Shamir in the hill country of E′phraim. And he judged Israel twenty-three years. Then he died, and was buried at Shamir. After him arose Ja′ir the Gileadite, who...
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10 And the people of Israel cried to the Lord, saying, “We have sinned against thee, because we have forsaken our God and have served the Ba′als.” 11 And the Lord said to the people of Israel, “Did I not deliver you from the Egyptians and from the Amorites, from the Ammonites and from the Philistines? 12 The Sido′nians also, and the Amal′ekites, and the Ma′onites, oppressed you; and you cried to me, and I delivered you out of their hand. 13 Yet you have forsaken me and served other gods; therefore I will deliver you no more. 14 Go and cry to the gods whom you have chosen; let them deliver you in the time of your distress.” 15 And the people of Israel said to the Lord, “We have sinned; do to us whatever seems good to thee; only deliver us, we pray thee, this day.” 16 So they put away the foreign gods from among them and served the Lord; and he became indignant over the misery of Israel.
This is how I see it today. I was wrong here, whatever: Nike, Cars, Sex, career, covid, politicians, even though I never followed them, I got angry at my fellow humans, why are you serving false gods? every time getting frustrated.. but why didn't I just go to god myself? Do all other humans need to serve the true god before I serve god? why can't I find peace and trust in the real god? Why do I keep looking at man what to do? And get frustrated?
Sidonians, Amalekites, Maonites. Nike, covid, It's the same.
I was freed many times, but I kept chosing a different altar of Ba'al.
The problem is me, not serving God.