I am just good enough to fail at everything

Patriot

Chicken
I don't know. I have never done such a sad sack thing in my life but I am just beat up right now. Earlier this year I was rejected for a job that I thought I was competitive for, it really felt like my last chance. I'm about to finish school with a respectable gpa, but again, it doesn't feel like enough. Everything feels like a waste of time, My military career, which is a big part of me, feels like Ieft early and left a lot undone. I work a semi-skilled job for a good small company that pays the bills but that is about it. I just feel like I have been banging my head against the wall, I'm losing it, I need a good scrap or someone to smack some sense into me.
 

tomzestatlu

Kingfisher
It´s easy to look at your life as at whole thing and say you are not where you are yet. You didn´t give much details about your life, so nobody can really help you. Try to be more specific. Not only in this forum post, but be specific in your own life. Don´t look at it as a whole (like "I failed at everything"). Make small specific tasks, carry them out and if you fail, try to find where did you go wrong. And based on those informations, execute new challenges coming (like "I failed at this and it teached me this"). And remember, there´s no end game.
What I just read feels like me. I am struggling with similar issues, fighting similar demons. And my story is also connected to military. If you want to go deeper, feel free to PM me.
 

bk19xsa

Robin
You seem young. How old are you?

From your post it seems you believe in yourself to have more potential than where you are at currently in your life.

If you already think like that, then you already have an inclination towards achieving more. Do not give up on that. Have faith in God and have a growth mindset.

Just as the poster above has said, take the smaller steps of improvement first. You'll falter but you will also have an easier chance to overcome the challenges as they would be smaller and easier. Additionally, you will need to be sincere and hardworking.

Consistently doing that and also learning along the way will lead you to your bigger objectives. This is a tried and tested method. It is not perfect (so isn't life) but it's also the best one we have that can be applied across the population to help people actualize their ambitions and fulfill their potential.
 

Cervantes

Woodpecker
Woman
I agree with others, about taking small practical steps, and that it's hard to give specific advice.

But I know the feeling you are talking about. It's temporary, and you will overcome it.

Don't take rejection for a job personally. You know your whole background and what you can do - but that hiring manager can see only a little bit of information from a resume and talking to you for a short time. I've hired a lot of people. Hiring managers don't always make the right decision. Very often their hiring criteria are personal and irrational.

Your job is not the most important part of your life anyway. Almost certainly in time you'll find something that pays better and is more satisfying, but for better or worse, your job will not determine your future happiness. Faith and (for most men) building a family will be much more important.

I'm assuming you're under 30. If so, I would reflect on two things:

1. You have almost certainly not yet seen the best time in your life. You're down now, and you can't see the great days that are coming ahead.
2. These are probably not your worst days either. Most people will experience really painful losses as they get older. You'll look back on the problems you're facing today as relatively small problems. It can help to start taking that attitude now - that these are the small problems of the early part of your life.
 

Lights

Woodpecker
my question at first was "how old are you" because i got the impression he was young because of the kind of whiny emo attitude you can get away with as a younger guy.

however i looked at his earlier posts and he's 36.

one red flag is "my military career, which is a big part of me" '

dont identify with anything external like the military. remember fight club: "youre not your job" that isn't your life anymore. youre either in it or not. its over

also there is no need for regret. just dont keep doing things you regret. get past that as fast as possible. and start doing things you are proud of

if you feel shitty about school, then your prob right. you're prob spinning your wheels at school. and youre ignoring your gut instinct and getting pain as feedback.

at 36 the motto for you is: figure it out. fast.

you were in the military, you should know about that.

and not figure how to fit into society's mediocre conformist program, but figure out how to live your life how you want, and then take steps to get there.

this may require humbling and starting from scratch which is fine. life is not a chart with the axis going straight up. thats the matrix bs.

youre may be feeling pressure bc youre like im 36 i should have these boxes checked off by now. but fuck that. figure out your path. it sounds like you may be out of touch with your own path and are opting for the conformity job career education bs .





tl; dr it sounds like this guy is going through the motions in life and needs to check in with himself to see what he truly wants and then move forward.
 

Aurini

Ostrich
Brother, I think we've ALL felt like that. Even Elon Musk. The harder you strive, the more you fail - the more you achieve, the more mistakes you make. The only people who don't feel like this at times are those who are happy treading water.

Take a bit, and when you're ready, get back up and get yourself back in the human race again.

 

Aurini

Ostrich
I am working hard to take this advice. It is uncanny how some of us manage to repeat a pattern which clearly was wrong the first time, simply due to lack of courage to do an alternative
Stop trying to be perfect. Figure out what your major Achilles heel is, and fix that. If you try and be perfect, you'll waste energy on fixing things that are mostly fine, instead of focusing on your one fatal flaw.
 
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