May this be the first of many marriage announcements in this thread.
At the beginning of our relationship, we texted once or twice a day. By the end, we talked on the phone once or twice a day.I've got several questions, no worries if you don't want to answer all of them.
1. What did your dating/courtship look like in terms of what you did on your dates, and how often you would meet or talk?
Long story short. We started dating and had hard, but unspoken, boundaries. No touching for the first 2-3 months, save for a hug for hello & goodbyes. After we got comfortable with each other, we started spending time together in my apartment and placed ourselves in near occasions of sin. We did not have sex, but we were not responsible. It was a difficult time.2. What sort of physical boundaries did you set prior to marriage?
After about 3 months we met each other's families. I wish we had done it sooner but we had no idea what we were doing. Truth be told, I didn't get to know them as well as I would've liked before we got engaged. I was too busy trying to figure out my relationship with their daughter to spend time with them.3. How early along did you meet each other's families? Did anything about her family weigh positively in deciding to marry her?
I think 6 months of courting and 6 months of engagement is a solid rule of thumb. Few notes on that.4. Do you have any thoughts on how much time one ought to spend in different stages of courtship/engagement?
Much shorter answer here. I was raised Catholic and fell away from the faith as a kid. I had a few years of loose protestantism, then came back to the Church earlier last year.5. How did you come to the faith, and where were you coming from (e.g. Protestant/agnostic/non binary Muslim Scientologist)?
At the beginning of our relationship, we texted once or twice a day. By the end, we talked on the phone once or twice a day.
For dates, we did a ton of stuff. Restaurants, coffee shops, outdoor activities, music performances, even just sitting on a blanket in the park and skimming a book together. Lots of church events. Not just at our parish, but in the whole diocese. These provided us with wholesome ways to have chaperones and meet at a common location.
A general rule of thumb is you should not be alone with your girl. I made The Wholesome Date Idea Thread if you're struggling with figuring out what to do.
If you had told me two years ago that I'd be spending so much time with one woman, and not having sex, I wouldn't have believed you. However when you meet the right one, spending time with her is not a chore. Sounds like something a BETA MALE! would say, but it's true.That sounds really tough. If you're not a guy that enjoys doing those things a long courtship sounds hellish, probably why they used to arrange marriages.
There has to be another way, like if you feel she's marriage material and she's prescreened you propose faster. Doing all those things with a fiancée sounds much better than with someone who could just be a huge waste of time.
You got through it though, wish you a long and happy marriage.
I remember hearing this advice from Roosh at the live event last year. He advised that "the best way to find a Godly woman is to become the Godliest man you can be," and hinted at the "falling out of thin air" theory. I thought he was crazy.One point that stood out was from your OP:
"I wish I had some earth-shattering tips to share about how to meet a nice church girl. I don't. The truth is that we met exactly as Roosh describes in his recent article Do You Deserve A Good Woman: "
I laughed when I read this because I had written a long and perhaps confused reply in the Women General thread titled "Do you Deserve A Good Woman" a few days back that Roosh posted . I said to myself as I read this thread, "So it REALLY does work that way huh?" . Again, this gives me hope and makes things to me more clear as I continue to grow and develop my spiritual life and forget about my past life. I also see you only used "basic game" ie being a regular masculine male to initiate the convo and the rest fell into place. This confirms what I thought about what would be needed in order to get started with talking to a female one is interested in.
You have to remember that Godly women aren't immune to the worldly problems we face in our day-to-day. They need jobs too, so many of them flock to the big cities in order to find work. Additionally, most are still going to university, and many of those schools are near big cities. This obviously isn't ideal, to have young women going out on their own to the cities, but we play the hand we're dealt.You also confirm what a friend of mine told me about being in a city vs rural. I mentioned this before in a different thread, but St. Louis has a huge catholic community. My friend told me that a problem in the dioceses is that there are more single women than men. This is NOT the case in the suburb that I live in, and it seems most people in this forum do not have that "problem" either where they live. Again, this now really makes me consider moving from where I currently am, to a more Catholic-centered city before truly giving up looking for a woman in the U.S.A.
Congratulations again, and may God Bless your marriage!
This has been my experience with my wife too. They say Game is applied charisma, but I think it would also work to call it applied courage. Basically, don't be a pussy around women, and act like you're in the leader position, not the follower position.Great question, and one I've thought about a lot over the past year.
The answer is yes, but not in the sense that I used "techniques" or "canned routines." I didn't try to "dread game" her, I didn't approach 12 dozen girls to meet her, and I didn't tailor my stories to licit a specific response from her. Overall, I behaved like myself.
The only "game" I used is that I started the initial conversation with her, and after it went well, I asked her out for coffee. I told her where and when to meet me. That was about the extent of the "game" I used. Even though I did "make a move," it still feels like she fell out of thin air and into my life.
If you had told me two years ago that I'd be spending so much time with one woman, and not having sex, I wouldn't have believed you. However when you meet the right one, spending time with her is not a chore. Sounds like something a BETA MALE! would say, but it's true.
Sure, if we lived in a homogenous village where everyone was Catholic, and our parents knew each other, it's possible we could have had a shorter engagement. Unfortunately this is 2020, and we have to deal with the negative aspects of living in the American Melting Pot, i.e. sorting through women trying to find the right match.
To that level is extremely rare, faith to the ability to overcome her instincts as a woman. That's what nuns have, and even then they're under a hierarchy of priests, and not many have that calling.Fixed that for you.