I have never had a girlfriend - is that weird?

[OMYG]

Well as of now I have a girlfriend and I certainly don't feel the need to entertain her, it is the other way around.

And I completely understand you when you bring up the introversion because I am one myself and I need my space. That is why I only limit seeing my girl once or twice a week and I don't think I can make it a whole day with her let's say from dusk to dawn because I do get overwhelmed and need to recharge.

But I believe a man should be steering the relationship and you certainly don't have to spend weekend nights watching dvd's or going to ikea, because you decide what you guys are doing. And just in case anyone is watching dvd's with their girls or going to ikea just to please her or when it's not at your will, you have already lost.

I believe a relationship is about power, and being dominant. Not really about "obeying her" or setting routines and becoming complacent just because she provides sex.

 

[Christian McQueen]

"And as any serious reader will understand - there is literally no better companion than a good book and some great music. Fuck the bitches getting in the way of that."



Who said you have to be around your girlfriend 24/7?

My best LTRs were ones where we saw each other around 3x a week and that was after months of getting to know her, to see if she would add to my life, instead of take away.

 

[cardguy]

Fair dues - that is a good way of looking at things, McQueen.

One of my favourite writers is Bryan Magee. He has written some excellent introductory books on philosophy.

The situation he got to in life was dating an artist chick. Who he only saw on weekends and during holidays.

That always seemed cool. But to be honest - I don't find chicks fun to hang around with.

When I see some cool guys together - I can picture the fun shit they get up to. But when I see a chick and a guy in a restaurant - I never pick up a vibe other than how fucking dull the chick is.

Maybe I'm projecting. Or maybe you guys are lying about how much 'fun' your chicks are...

 

[Baldwin81]

We're roughly the same age. Based on what you wrote above, we have similar levels of introversion.

By 26-27 I learned enough game where I could get laid with some (some) consistency. With no desire to get married I rationalized my only two "proper" LTRs (one was a live-in) as something that I needed to experience. I experienced the following:

1. Beta backsliding: This is the unforgivable sin to the western woman. I'm not sure if there's a way to remedy beta-backsliding in today's society if one is genuinely not trying to cheat.

2. Pregnancy scares: A whole different level of mind-fuck when she lives with you.

3. The heightened marriage pressure as the relationship enters its third and final act.

3. Restrictions on time for creative pursuits: As a fellow introvert this I'm sure this will resonate. It is what it is, but the time restrictions were corrosive to my soul.

4. The con that, "by living together we'll save money": As G Manifesto would say, "Do me a favor..."

The only positives are that I learned a lot about women, didn't get anyone pregnant, and that it was fun for the first 3-6 months. The positives are likely more than counter balanced by the loss of some prime years when I could've built myself into a better man. Live and learn.

To conclude, the one pervading thought I had throughout both relationships was that I was in a situation that worked well when dollar was backed by gold and social conventions were different. Nowadays it seems that a monogamous LTR is only good for those too ugly/old/fat to do any better.

TL;DR - You ain't missin' much.

 

[KorbenDallas]

You misunderstood me. Your not getting strength from her.
She's comforted by being with you.

You don't have to kill sabertooth tigers to be strong. I'm saying there is something about a sexy girl curling up to you or staying close to you on a dark street that appeals to me in a primitive way.

 

[OMYG]

Who said you have to be around your girlfriend 24/7?

Exactly, I think a lot of guys have this misconception of how relationships are this death trap where you are tied to a ball and chain, but it is not like that at all, at least for me.

Also agree how the less you see her, lets say 2 or 3 times a week, in a way it keeps her happy but does not give them enough of you, therefore she's always looking forward for more.

The 48 Laws of Power: Law #16 "Use absence to increase respect and honor"

Also, if your a slippery manwhore you can always fool around on the side, keeps your game sharp.

 

[KorbenDallas]

Chicks are as fun as their boyfriends. Chicks, obviously, are rather dull. But if you have a fun life, they come along for the ride and can make it better because your doing stuff with someone you can fuck afterward.

Concerts, travel, smoking pot and listening to music, is fun with girlfriends. You can bullshit with them and tease them and have sex.

 

[cardguy]

That is cool, Korben. Like I say - it doesn't do anything for me. But I respect those who think differently. I am not trying to convert anyone...

@Baldwin81 - yeah you nailed a lot of my feelings there. Also - here is something that is important to me. I spend about 50 hours a week sleeping. And another 40 hours working. As such - like most working people - I am not looking for more shit and commitments to fill my time up with. Since I already find the day to be about 8 hours too short.

Time is more valuable to me than money. Which is why I have never bothered trying to get as girlfriend - since it just feels like a losing proposition from the outset. And I have always felt you should trust your guy instinct when it comes to shit like this.

 

[cardguy]

I try not to repeat myself on the forum - but in setting this thread up - I realise I am repeating alot of the same shit I mentioned in my earlier 'Are You An Introvert?' thread.

http://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-18974.html

The thread may be of use for those who think they may be an introvert.

 

[RockHard]

I'm 32 and have never had a girlfriend.

Is that weird?

Is anyone else on the forum the same way - or know anyone the same way?

I had a girlfriend for a few months in college and another girl who I messed around with a bit right around when I graduated, but she was dating another dude and stupid me, I didn't want to take another guy's girl (in retrospect she wasn't worth it anyway). One night we went out and she told me she'd broken up with the dude so we messed around a little bit, but between the drinking that night and me being freaked out that this chick I'd jerked off thinking about so many times finally being naked with me... yeah, it didn't go well. She quit returning my calls and I figured out that she'd gotten back with the old guy. After some thinking, I realized they'd probably never broken up and she just wanted some strange cock. Still didn't wake up to the way women really are until about 10 years later.

The difference with me was that this bothered me, a lot, and the main reason was that I really wanted a girl but had absolutely no idea how to go about getting a girl to like me. My strategy was to embrace the friendzone and eventually she'd like me enough to fuck me.

Quit laughing, y'all.

If you're really OK with it, then more power to you. In my case, I'd try to tell myself I didn't need women, but the reality was I was the poster child for why young men need to learn game. If I'd met the right group of guys 25-30 years ago, my life would've taken a radically different turn.

I have 2 cousins who are around 50 years old. They still live with their parents. As far as I know, they've never had a girlfriend. I remember them talking about girls a bit when we were teenagers, but I've never heard of them even dating. My brother was single until he was almost 50, again, as far as I know he never had a girlfriend previously. I don't know how that works. Maybe some people just aren't interested in sex. None of that is really about your situation but there's some examples.

 

[Nascimento]

Cardguy;

I've noticed your posts like this in the past. I have nothing against your opinions and I think it's cool how you go against the grain and aren't afraid to be truthful.

But maybe you are too bitter towards women, and worse, yourself?

I know you're an introvert and you are making a case here. But many guys also are.. I am one myself. I live in my head and enjoy my alone time. Being social for too long is draining.

However to stay relevant to your thread, you can find some good company. Not saying you have to be in a serious relationship to have that. Since you enjoy your free time like myself, all it means is you have higher standards when it comes to choosing who to spend your time with. For girls, that means that she better be a damn cool girl if you're going to have her stick around with you after you've banged.

I think you just need to meet a cool chick. Reading into manosphere too much is bitter. Not saying that is you, but if you're constantly reading about feminism and how girls are getting fat and stuck up, its poisonous. There's a bunch of awesome girls out there, in your own western culture like country, and at worst case even much more abroad.

I've never had a 'serious' relationship myself. I've had a few ONS and a fuck buddy or two, and up to recently had my first mini-relationship. It wasn't serious of it only being a short span of time but we spent a lot of time together during the weeks I was abroad and met her. It was a great experience, and I can see myself having many mini-relationships in the future.

Also, forget what society paints as girlfriend. You define your own relationships. I don't think I have to say much on how society paints relationships nowadays since we already know much about it. I can't overstate the importance of you defining your own relationships and leading by your own frame.

 

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

The real question is: could you get a girlfriend if you wanted to? Don't get me wrong, but I know plenty of guys who wear "I've never had a girlfriend" as a kind of badge in all the wrong ways. These are not guys who would ever lead the life you lead, but Betas who rationalize their situation by saying things like "it's a pain" or "I don't have enough time for relationships". I should know, I was like that once. So don't take this as accusing you of something.

 

[cardguy]

Yeah - I really don't care about the whole feminism issue. I think it is quite funny that fat women exist - since they are literally invisible to me. And they make the hot chicks even hotter. As long as I have access to hot hookers I am cool with dat!

Anyway - yeah - maybe I am bitter. I don't think so - since I am happy and am friendly to everyone I meet.

I just want to kick this post out there - since I think it is interesting discussing shit like this.

I actually got to know some cool chicks over the past couple of years. One is ugly - but funny. And the other is cool - and pretty hot.

But she has kids and a husband.

Now - here is the thing - I can enjoy spending time with a chick without feeling the need to make them a girlfriend. In the same way I can spend time getting drunk with a guy, having a laugh - and then never seeing them again.

Easy come - easy go. I never feel compelled to get a chick to commit to me since I really don;t give a fuck either way.

Not bitterness - just cannot give a fuckness.

 

[cardguy]

@HandsomeCreepyEel - Could I get a girlfriend? Hell yeah!

lol - you have no idea what it is like when you are in your thirties. Any chick who is single will seriously consider dating you. I have had a few situations like this at work - and I have done my best to kill it off at every turn.

But a single guy in his thirties is like shit to flies when it comes to women in their thirties wanting to settle down.

 

[It_is_my_time]

I'm a few years older than you, have never had a girl friend before, and haven't been on a date in over a decade. Living in the States makes it easy, IMO. The quality is so low here and the prices are so high, it seems easy to avoid it. I don't have the time to travel, so I am sort of stuck in this hell hole for the time being.

But all in all, I wouldn't want a GF in the states. With the laws, this system, these courts, this broken culture, I want as little to do with it as possible. Which is what drew my interest to Roosh so strongly. PUA mixed with international travel, that is the best of both worlds IMO.

When I was younger I wanted a GF, but I was way too Beta. After college I moved to one of the worst singles cities in the USA and after living here for a year I just gave up on it. Fat ugly women were pulling guys better than me, and this was 10+ years ago. I shudder to think what guys are settling for now. I just focus my life on work and getting to the gym and one day having enough money to travel and meet real women.

 

[spokepoker]

Saying all that stuff in the first post, it's just self-defeatist bullshit that only helps towards more future defeat.

Every girl I've been with has been my girlfriend, whether it was for 30 minutes, or over a year. I hold no ill will to them opening their legs to me, and I hold no ill will to those who don't. I can then continue on with my life.

You can't go through life all negative (well, you can, but just don't do it), or the end of your life will be filled with regret that you vomit onto the younger generation around you. Hence, the crotchety old man, instead being the older gentleman sipping a fine whiskey in a lounge.

edit; barely read more posts in this thread, the ones agreeing with their own depressing addendum doesn't help the situation. Get past it, improve, then tell stories of conquer, not defeat.

 

[DetlefMourning]

@bacon - to be honest. Having a girlfriend would be more appealing if there were better advertisements for it. But everywhere I look - I just seen mundane drudgery.

Yeah - I know it is different for those of you dating supermodels, who spend all evening discussing the work of W.V.O Quine before retiring to bed so she can give you a 2 hour long blowjob.

But out here in the real world - I see a different story. If you follow pop culture, the media or just look around you at you local supermarket - it is very easy to form negative feelings towards the whole concept of relationships.

Anyway - I shouldn't have posted on this subject. Since I pretty much have a medical problem. My dislike of being around people ALL the time is the strongest feeling I have.

If a millionaire supermodel wanted to marry me - I would say no.

I've been in two serious long-term relationships that I would classify as having been a good, enriching experience. They ended, of course, because with women you are always leasing whether you realize it or not. The others - well after 2-3 months, it usually started going downhill and being with them WAS drudgery after awhile. I have already made peace with the fact that I may or may not ever get to experience the former again.

 

[monster]

Yes, it is pretty weird.

You learn a lot about yourself and what you want in others when you are in a relationship.

Humans are social animals.

I am introverted too, but when I recount the absolute best times of my life, they have always been with another person. We are social and are meant to give warmth to others and receive the warmth of others, regardless of whether you are introverted or extraverted.

You can fool yourself all you want that "you're ultimately happiest with a book" but the truth of the matter is until you've experienced good times in relationships you'll see that it's not the truth.

It's often times the simplest things with others that turn out to be happiest. One of the best times in the last six months was just watching the fireworks with a girl I was dating on NYE as they flashed across a big river. We didn't even talk, just being next to each other and enjoying each other's company, spirit, whatever.

You have to let go of these mental constructs that are holding you back and just go with the flow and enjoy things for what they are without passing judgement on everything or comparing everything to something else, because when you're always judging/comparing/rationalizing that's the hamster.

 

[Foolsgo1d]

I've never had a GF, Fbs yes but even then its just booty calls and the like.

I put it down to being more content with my own company and I dont have issues with doing things with others, that has its uses but I want to do my own thing without having to worry about a third wheel.

Watching films at the cinema or in general, playing battlefield, reading things are all done on my own time but it would be nice to have someone to go to my favourite club with and thrash out a few and play around.

I came into this mindset when I was young, before high school and during high school it just cemented my position further. I am not a loner because I cannot talk with people or they shun me, I choose it now because it is where I am most comfortable.

 

[cardguy]

@spokepoker - if you make it a fine bourbon then that pretty much sums me up.

I am not negative. I fucking love being single. I just thought it was an interesting fact about myself worth sharing.

My life is kick ass and I wish I could live to a be billion years old. There is so much shit I want to get done. But shit involving relationships with women is not a big part of how I frame my outlook on life.

No negativity here. No hamstering either. Just different values. Different people.

The only depression you see in my posts are those drummed into you by the blue pill brainwashing of the media about what constitutes happiness and a successful life