I intentionally keep my wife poor -- to preserve our marriage

[MrLemon]

Amazing quality of discussion on this forum.

I'm still not done with my life and so, thinking about the best moves in the next few years, specifically, if I push harder in the rat race and bring in more money, how do I do so without losing that quality time I have with my kids, and how do I prevent kids/wife from getting spoiled? A significant challenge.

Many say "hide your money" but as other married guys could attest, that's practically impossible. Saying "no" to major purchases (no, you can't have an iPhone at 10 years old, lol) is certainly a start.

Others will simply choose to not get married, and that's an absolutely valid decision. However if you meet a girl who hits your heart, not just a sexy woman but a woman who you suddenly recognize as the mother of your children, then at that point you make that leap of faith. Then you have to make a whole new series of decisions, which trust me are complex. You aren't "controlling" but you are certainly "leading."

I've said it before -- raising a family in any age of the world is a massive challenge, there's always a cruel and hateful society waiting to prey on you. Your job as a man is to fight against all odds to create a tiny bubble of sanity.

That's what men do, we defy the odds. That's our unique power that women don't have.

 

[Dantes]

Interesting post

At the surface it is practical, rational and makes sense.

However, I see it as fear-based.

If I become successful, she will be too demanding.

I won't be able to control her and hold my frame because she will have leverage.

Decisions that are made out of fear, limit our growth and potential for fulfillment. Moving outside our comfort zone and past our fear leads to growth and expansion. You are imposing limits on yourself out of fear that you won't be able to keep your wife in check. This is predicated on fear. Acting out of fear will always come back to haunt us because we are not living the fullest life that we can.

 

[Vaun]

Subtle trolling.

Really, you could make millions but dont so your wife wont divorce you?

Yeah right.

Not so subtle. He basically just admitted his marriage and wife, who he believes has the potential to ruin his life is he earns more money, is the be all end all of life on earth. Sounds not too far off from a cult leader mindset, or southwestern Utah religious zealots mindset. Another amazingly glowing testament to marriage.

 

[sylo]

Some good points OP, but...

suddenly she'd find an urgent need for the house to be remodelled or something.

Classic

 

[BallsDeep]

If I become successful, she will be too demanding.

I won't be able to control her and hold my frame because she will have leverage.

The OP is just going off history.

Has there ever been an American woman who has had access to boundless means and didn't transform into a selfish, vapid piece of shit?

 

[The Father]

I make the money, so it's mine to manage.

This is the philosophy of many a happy and prosperous marriage for thousands of years. Only now, it is considered "domestic abuse" by the femcunts - and therefore the state :/

 

[Yeti]

Just look at history.

The influx of a wealth of money often corrupts.

Women, as a whole, will become greedy and masculine when surrounded by her husband's wealth.

What we need is a lawyer or someone otherwise knowledgeable, to explain pre-nuptial agreements.

That seems to me like a good way to protect from divorce rape.

I don't think that they are iron-clad, however. Can anyone explain better?

Ideally you sign a tight pre-nup and make all your money, and she gets only enough to live a modest middle class lifestyle. No worries of divorce rape thanks to the pre-nup, and she isn't corrupted from all the money. Because you do not allow her much.

When she asks for more, you are firm and steady in your denials. Just as you would be with a child.

Of course, she may start making her own money. This may even be encouraged to an extent, so that she does not grow bored with her life, and thus with the marriage.

 

[The Father]

Just look at history.

The influx of a wealth of money often corrupts.

Indeed. In whatever form that wealth is accumulated, it will be spent.

 

[samsamsam]

"No man is really changed by success. What happens is that success works on the man's personality like a truth drug, bringing him out of the closet and revealing...what was always inside his head." - Albert Goldman

I put this quote in another thread but I think it is appropriate here. I definitely think I have an abundant attitude and do well in business but it doesn't mean I can't think practically and logically. I guess I am cool with that middle class lifestyle. I have just never been very materialistic despite having travelled in private jets and staying in world class hotels. I just don't have an interest in spending time with anyone discussing buying unnecessary shit and keeping up with the jones's really annoys me so I don't.

The quote is pretty accurate in my opinion. I have witnessed it first hand.

 

[Dantes]

If I become successful, she will be too demanding.

I won't be able to control her and hold my frame because she will have leverage.

The OP is just going off history.

Has there ever been an American woman who has had access to boundless means and didn't transform into a selfish, vapid piece of shit?

This might be true but we are not talking about boundless means. OP is purposely limiting his life to control his wife's behavior. My point is that his behavior is predicated on fear and the anticipation of lack of control. This runs counter to abundance and expansion. This mindset limits growth and self-fulfillment.

 

[travolta]

Maybe I build and sell a little startup and get 3-5 million in our pockets. I could do this, I know exactly how.

Not to sound like dick, but I think you're full of shit. You have no idea how to make 3-5 million from anything except winning the lottery...

I'm amazed at how many people liked the original post, give that the advice is to stay poor so you can keep 1 girl around. If you had 3-5 million you'd have access to way hotter pussy. As somebody said before me, you are actually letting your wife control you by limiting your potential to do something great and to possibly change the world (if you know how to create tech startups valued at 3-5 Million, as you claimed).

 

[travolta]

Why make millions if you don't need too?

Because making a lot of money is core masculine shit, and you can better provide for your family by paying for high quality food, sending your kids to the best schools, etc.

 

[MrLemon]

Maybe I build and sell a little startup and get 3-5 million in our pockets. I could do this, I know exactly how.

Not to sound like dick, but I think you're full of shit. You have no idea how to make 3-5 million from anything except winning the lottery...

I'm amazed at how many people liked the original post, give that the advice is to stay poor so you can keep 1 girl around. If you had 3-5 million you'd have access to way hotter pussy. As somebody said before me, you are actually letting your wife control you by limiting your potential to do something great and to possibly change the world (if you know how to create tech startups valued at 3-5 Million, as you claimed).

No problem at all. You are entitled to your opinion.

The fact is, and yes I know you may find this hard to understand, I simply don't want "way hotter pussy". 15 years ago yes, but I'm just lost that interest as many guys at my age do. I married this woman because I wanted to start a family and have kids. I'm well over 50 now and have zero interest in chasing new pussy. That's not because I'm pussywhipped or wimpy or beta or any of that. It's because I'm the head of a family, my family, my kids, and I chose this role knowing that I wanted to do.

This is MY woman. She's not just "a girl". She bore my children, suckled them at her breast, carried them and fed them and protected them.

You guys talk about challenging yourself. You talk about "frame". Well, as any strong father can tell you, my family IS my challenge. Building and maintaining a "frame" for my family is my challenge. It's as big a challenge as exists and the rewards are greater than any challenge I gave myself as a single guy. I climbed mountains, dated many hot girls, lived a great bachelor life. Then I chose to raise a family. Maybe some of you guys some day will find that girl who you believe is worthy of your commitment (knowing, there are very few of them in today's world). That will be your choice.

I realize there's a lot of younger guys on this forum who have no interest in this path. But there are also a few older guys like me who have merged red-pill thinking into a traditional family structure.

 

[Samseau]

I think a lot of guys are confused - family is a form of wealth. We don't exist as individuals, we exist as families. Growing your family not only means you continue the name and bloodline, but also you have a retirement plan in the form of your kids.

 

[jimukr104]

Maybe I build and sell a little startup and get 3-5 million in our pockets. I could do this, I know exactly how.

Not to sound like dick, but I think you're full of shit. You have no idea how to make 3-5 million from anything except winning the lottery...

I'm amazed at how many people liked the original post, give that the advice is to stay poor so you can keep 1 girl around. If you had 3-5 million you'd have access to way hotter pussy. As somebody said before me, you are actually letting your wife control you by limiting your potential to do something great and to possibly change the world (if you know how to create tech startups valued at 3-5 Million, as you claimed).

Having 3 million isn't the lifestyle of the rich and famous.Even if he went to EE he not compete.

In Brooklyn..you can gt a decent home for under 700k. He really isn't giving up much.

 

[draketton]

The strategy of being rich but hiding the extent of it from your family needs elaboration.

What are scenarios where they'd find out the truth, and what are pre-emptive steps that you could take to prevent these scenarios from happening?

 

[germanico]

also you have a retirement plan in the form of your kids.

I think its lame, mediocre at best to think of kids as "retirement plan"

Daddy, why was I born?

To pay for my retirement home you ungrateful ass.

 

[jimukr104]

^^Agreed and kids today will NOT help out parent..much less they will take care of them.

 

[Geomann180]

^^Agreed and kids today will NOT help out parent..much less they will take care of them.

I think you misunderstand.

I don't think either Samseau or Mr.Lemon think "This kid will pay off my student loans once he gets a job". It is not as mercenary as that.

I think it's a little more nuanced. That is to say, Mr. Lemon and Samseau would invest much time, energy, and money into their families; wife, children, all of it. They would be the best fathers they could be, best husbands they could be, and the best patriach they could be. Directing their family away from the clutches of moral corruption and from the clutches of penury. Passing away life lessons so that the children do not needlessly relearn old lessons through admission to the school of hard knocks. Yet, not being a helicopter parent that the child learns about action and consequence at an early age, while the price of learning is so low! And finally loving the children as a father, which so many don't get in today's day and age.

Out of respect and love, the progeny of these men would seek to keep in touch with and check on their parents. To be a part of their lives until the end, for better or worse. Were I an old man, I'd take my grown up children's time and love over money for a retirement home or paying off a debt of some kind any day of the week.

Is that about right, Samseau or Mr.Lemon?

G

 

[berserk]

^^Agreed and kids today will NOT help out parent..much less they will take care of them.

Sure they will, if you treat them right.

A lot of old people now are lonely as hell and the boomers are going to be the loneliest old people in the history of mankind.

Why, because they behaved like children, did not provide enough attention, support, teachings, morality, a home, a car, a dowry.

The very basics you give your children:

A safe stable home with two parents.
Unconditional love and attention (mothers role)
Someone to always be there with realistic advice and inspiration (father)
Help to make it into adult life - car, home, education (can take different forms)
Help raise and babysit grandchildren

Many boomer parents have done none of those, preferring to spend their savings on wine trips to Tuscany than give to their kids and grandkids.

And as a last goodbye, the boomers are going to milk the welfare system for all its worth as they go into retirement homes, leaving a broken, bankrupt (on all levels), world to inherit. The first generation in about 150 years where the next generation in the West can not expect a better quality of life than their parents.