I'd appreciate some advice especially those who know about Brazilian women

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fmman

Robin
Short story. I (45) Met very attractive girl (34) on dating app 3 years ago. She would call me at 3am naked many times. I'd be warned about girls like that from the north of Brazil doing this in the hope some stupid guy would send money or something, so I was cautious. I guessed I was one of many and didn't take it too seriously in case she would be after a man to marry just to take half his house and money etc. I would hear from her on and off over the next 2 years and during the lockdowns. In this time she moved to Europe (don't know how!) I suspect she was illegal where she was and I have no idea how she was making a living there. Now she has moved country again and has proper papers and is working, but not a great wage. 5 months ago she suggested I visit her, we can spend time together, see how we get on and if all ok make plans to live together there for a serious relationship. Ok maybe I misjudged her. She would be a beautiful wife one day. So I arrived there, met, went ok, shes just as beautiful in person, but after 3 days not even a kiss, very surprising given the past video calls. I ask her what is wrong, she says she just wants to be friends and go slowly!. GUTTED! I ask her did she meet someone recently, she says yes but didn't know how to tell me. She really should have told me that before I told her I was coming! She said give her time - there is no future with the guy. So I said if there is no future what is stopping you splitting now I'm here. - "complicated", but give her time maybe there is a future for us, she said. I did not loose my shit, but was tempted to tell her I didn't fly all this way to meet a new friend etc, and she was out of order. I did tell her that you shouldn't expect me to wait for you to make your mind up what you are doing and I may meet someone, She said " Good luck"! Not sure if that was genuine or an annoyed good luck. If I ignore her she calls or texts, if I reply then she goes off the boil.

Yes I have considered that the bf, could be made up to spare my feelings if she did not like me in person, but it doesn't look that way because her phone was often ringing and she told me to be quiet and I saw a mans calling when we were out, she turned the phone over and ignored it, this was before she admitted there was a bf.

I really did consider flying home early but stayed to enjoy the break and the rest of her company.
What do you all think about the situation, her, and what went wrong when we met?
And what to do now? She is texting me, thanks for coming, are you home ok etc but I have ignored her, in case I make some more beta moves that I probably have made already...!
 

Mycoalmiller

Chicken
Catholic
It sounds as if she's trying to act Gatinha/Gata, which isn't wife material. (Though such behavior can be quiet common in some places in Brazil.)

Having volunteered at a church in Goiania, I would imagine you can find a nice wife in the northeast at Church.
 

pureblood

Sparrow
Orthodox
This is a very short story and I will do a close reading of it to help you perhaps understand this situation. You're 45 and describe this female as "very attractive girl (34)." Do you match her attractiveness? You encounter her on a "dating app 3 years ago." This interaction involved her "call me at 3am naked many times." Is this a characteristic you're looking for in a potential wife? You answer your own question and concerns, "I'd be warned about girls like that from the north of Brazil doing this in the hope some stupid guy would send money or something." So, men that do this type of behavior are stupid? Did you take your own advice and be "cautious" of this type of behavior? You later admit that you tolerated this interaction for years, encouraging it by participating in it for years. She is now suggesting you visit her and "see how we get on and if all ok." SHE IS FINALIZING THE LEVEL OF COMMITMENT YOU ARE OFFERING HER. You take the bait, "I arrived there, met, went ok, she is just as beautiful in person" However, F2F is not facetime and you're instantly friend-ZONED, even after years of endless video chats and txt messaging. Is she extremely absentminded? Unfortunately, she forgot to mention, "she is with somebody but she didn't know how to tell me." You answerer this conundrum yourself, "she really should have told me that before I told her I was coming!" This is her S*@t test, is her beauty enough to manipulate you into accepting this very "complicated" distorted interaction "relationship" with her to "to maybe have a future with her?" I ask you, are you deserving of more then what is being offered here? Only you can answer this question.

IMG_4037.jpg
 

SoCal9705

Pigeon
Catholic
She is just keeping you on the line in case it doesn't work out with the bf. Just her lack of affection should tell you everything you need to know - she's not interested in nor attracted to you, just what you might be able to do for her (namely bring her to a country where she has better opportunities)! Everything she has done here is imbued with selfishness. Get out of this mentality of scarcity and move on. She's already lied to you. Just ghost her and stop hoping for what isn't there, it will just get you into bigger trouble.
 

Papaya

Peacock
Gold Member
And what to do now? She is texting me, thanks for coming, are you home ok etc but I have ignored her, in case I make some more beta moves that I probably have made already...!

I mean youve been a member here since long before when this type of thing was male / female dynamics 101


Arent you a bit old to be paying for these lessons?

Tell the truth...how many dinners did you pay for?
 
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