I'm sad. Please cheer me up.
- Thread starter Kona
- Start date
No More Mr. Soy Boy said:
HOW DARE YOU
Krabbypatty
Sparrow
It takes a lot of courage to admit when you’re sad or feel defeated. I’ve been through miserable times in my life - a couple of which I thought were insurmountable at that time. When we’re finally up again, it’s good to look back at those tough times. Now those periods in our lives seems like something we just smile about - a lesson learned and something to be thankful for.
In my experience, woman and work issues are two of the worst. I started with this gaming thing at a younger age. I remember I had a gf when I was 19, and had girls on the side - including cousins who knew I was with both of them. I didn’t start very young but it was young enough that at my age now, I have ample of experience with women. I wasn’t a late bloomer when it comes to women so to speak. However, there were always women who seemed to be my match. They just knew how to press the right buttons to make me feel insecure or confident. I was like a dog on a leash. They knew how to make me happy or sad. I remember at least two women who made me feel this way. Looking back, I’m eternally grateful that I did not end up with any of them. One hit the wall pretty bad. And the other one I realize I find unattractive now as compared to the girls I’ve recently been with. Being with them was a nightmare but it made me a better man. Nowadays, I’ve learned to dress better, style my hair the right way, and max my looks (as forum members here describe that endeavor in one thread). I believe I’m only 80% in maxing out my looks as I don’t have the discipline and time to work out right now. I hope to do better on it, but that’s a different topic. However, I get compliments from girls I meet when traveling and I get good results nowadays. I’ve always have a good jive with women. But now, I don’t let anyone make me feel like I’m not good enough for them. I dictate my happiness, and they can be part of it if they’d like to. I also learned that finding the hottest girl is not what makes me happy. Instead I just want an attractive girl to have fun with and have a nice conversation with. I no longer chase women. I built and continue to build myself so that women gets attracted to me and all these gaming thing becomes natural. I have no control on who will like me. Fortunately, there’s plenty of options to make me happy. Many of them may not be in my backyard, but they’re just a stone throw away.
Work is a different animal. In my line of work, I’ve learned to stay below the radar. I just do my job and get out of there. I made some good investments during my younger years. Right timing, hard work, and well-thought risk-taking worked well in my favor. My financial situation is similar to someone 20-30 years my senior in my line of work. I used to enjoy humbly bragging about these achievements to my coworkers who I knew were secretly and not-so-secretly hating on me. I knew it made them more pissed off behind their fake smiles. Lol. Nowadays, I no longer care what they think. I am also secure knowing that if the you-know-what hits the fan, that I could just sell everything and live a new life else where. I could retire in other parts or the world with a well-budgeted financial planning now or in a few years if I’d like to. However, I’m still weary of uncertainty and I’d like to keep my status quo for now, as long as I could.
I’ve also stayed away from people who have negative effects in my life. There are people that feel like weights that are pulling you down. I don’t need them in my life. I’d rather meet new people who I could learn from or at least be neutral in my growth.
Happiness is not fixed. It’s always a moving target. I hope to find that contentment that will make me happy, like probably meeting my life partner before I hit a certain age. I have time. In fact, I’ve already met some good candidates. However, I’m not yet ready. I also know that they won’t be there when I’m ready. But I know there’s more in the horizon. Try to identify what will make you happy and contented. Many of us are just a couple or so decades away from leaving this world or when our body is no longer what it used to be. Things could go wrong earlier if you get diagnosed with life-changing medical condition that you have no control of. Happiness should not be a never-ending search. I’m living the life now. Someday I’d like to slow down and look back knowing that I made the most out of this life.
If you feel like you’re in a slump, define your next goal. And start working on it when you’re ready. Whatever makes you sad now, it is just temporary. Someday you will look back and smile about this.
Aloha!
In my experience, woman and work issues are two of the worst. I started with this gaming thing at a younger age. I remember I had a gf when I was 19, and had girls on the side - including cousins who knew I was with both of them. I didn’t start very young but it was young enough that at my age now, I have ample of experience with women. I wasn’t a late bloomer when it comes to women so to speak. However, there were always women who seemed to be my match. They just knew how to press the right buttons to make me feel insecure or confident. I was like a dog on a leash. They knew how to make me happy or sad. I remember at least two women who made me feel this way. Looking back, I’m eternally grateful that I did not end up with any of them. One hit the wall pretty bad. And the other one I realize I find unattractive now as compared to the girls I’ve recently been with. Being with them was a nightmare but it made me a better man. Nowadays, I’ve learned to dress better, style my hair the right way, and max my looks (as forum members here describe that endeavor in one thread). I believe I’m only 80% in maxing out my looks as I don’t have the discipline and time to work out right now. I hope to do better on it, but that’s a different topic. However, I get compliments from girls I meet when traveling and I get good results nowadays. I’ve always have a good jive with women. But now, I don’t let anyone make me feel like I’m not good enough for them. I dictate my happiness, and they can be part of it if they’d like to. I also learned that finding the hottest girl is not what makes me happy. Instead I just want an attractive girl to have fun with and have a nice conversation with. I no longer chase women. I built and continue to build myself so that women gets attracted to me and all these gaming thing becomes natural. I have no control on who will like me. Fortunately, there’s plenty of options to make me happy. Many of them may not be in my backyard, but they’re just a stone throw away.
Work is a different animal. In my line of work, I’ve learned to stay below the radar. I just do my job and get out of there. I made some good investments during my younger years. Right timing, hard work, and well-thought risk-taking worked well in my favor. My financial situation is similar to someone 20-30 years my senior in my line of work. I used to enjoy humbly bragging about these achievements to my coworkers who I knew were secretly and not-so-secretly hating on me. I knew it made them more pissed off behind their fake smiles. Lol. Nowadays, I no longer care what they think. I am also secure knowing that if the you-know-what hits the fan, that I could just sell everything and live a new life else where. I could retire in other parts or the world with a well-budgeted financial planning now or in a few years if I’d like to. However, I’m still weary of uncertainty and I’d like to keep my status quo for now, as long as I could.
I’ve also stayed away from people who have negative effects in my life. There are people that feel like weights that are pulling you down. I don’t need them in my life. I’d rather meet new people who I could learn from or at least be neutral in my growth.
Happiness is not fixed. It’s always a moving target. I hope to find that contentment that will make me happy, like probably meeting my life partner before I hit a certain age. I have time. In fact, I’ve already met some good candidates. However, I’m not yet ready. I also know that they won’t be there when I’m ready. But I know there’s more in the horizon. Try to identify what will make you happy and contented. Many of us are just a couple or so decades away from leaving this world or when our body is no longer what it used to be. Things could go wrong earlier if you get diagnosed with life-changing medical condition that you have no control of. Happiness should not be a never-ending search. I’m living the life now. Someday I’d like to slow down and look back knowing that I made the most out of this life.
If you feel like you’re in a slump, define your next goal. And start working on it when you’re ready. Whatever makes you sad now, it is just temporary. Someday you will look back and smile about this.
Aloha!
spokepoker
Hummingbird
How are those people pulling you down? - Kind of a general question to everyone, what is a person that you feel is puling you down? What do they act like to you? What do they say?
Krabbypatty
Sparrow
Sometimes there are people in our lives that are better to stay away from. I’ve had friends who borrowed significant amounts of money and never paid them. These so-called friends have money to party or travel but never seriously tried to pay me back. I asked a few times and I’m done asking them. There are family members or friends who are always there if they need something but are never available when you need them even if it is just for their time when you need someone to talk to. There are also people in toxic relationships that are better off separating - I know someone who have done this recently and is in a much better situation now.
By the way, in my previous post I had to dig down and remember those worst times in my life as empathy towards someone who may be feeling down right now. In moments like these, we also need to remind ourselves of the positive attributes or experiences that we’ve had. Looking back, I might have conveyed something that could be misconstrued. Some things could have been better left unsaid. But if you are in a very tough and dark situation right now, just remember how awesome you are and how all of these will just be a small part of the past someday.
By the way, in my previous post I had to dig down and remember those worst times in my life as empathy towards someone who may be feeling down right now. In moments like these, we also need to remind ourselves of the positive attributes or experiences that we’ve had. Looking back, I might have conveyed something that could be misconstrued. Some things could have been better left unsaid. But if you are in a very tough and dark situation right now, just remember how awesome you are and how all of these will just be a small part of the past someday.
spokepoker
Hummingbird
I'm not trying to be a downer, but how do you look at your past and not see it as insignificant or meaningless in the grand scheme? To not have achieved normalcy in society, to not really done what you should have, and was expected of you at your age?
spokepoker said:
I face this question personally in my life. I'm tempted to think life is meaningless, and all I have left to do is indulge in hedonism until I grow old and die. I am bitter towards God over the way things are, so it's difficult to adopt some kind of spiritual perspective that allows me to accept things and trust that all things work for good in the end.
However, having thought about it a lot, I feel this perspective is not accurate, as compelling as it may seem. I think the tendency to feel this is a sign of depression. If you are not depressed, then life is naturally interesting and you naturally want to do interesting things and spend time with people having fun and building your life.
You may say an optimistic approach to life comes with being young and naive, but you learn how pointless everything is when you get older. However, I don't think this is inevitably true. It may seem true, but I guess I have some faith that it is not true on the ideal level.
In my life, I am trying to get healthy, cut out drinking, and to condition my mind to dwell on things that are good and wholesome and outgoing. I try to push myself towards engaging the world with projects and people, as opposed to sitting in bars drinking or pursuing other escapist activities. I've had mixed success in doing this, but I think it's the right way to approach things, and I'm going to keep trying.
Hang in there bro.
Without you on the forum I lose the will to post.
Namaste (That's how we say Aloha in Oregon. But only the white people.)
If you suddenly find yourself feeling better, it because I said a prayer for you. If you don't, then I didn't.
Without you on the forum I lose the will to post.
Namaste (That's how we say Aloha in Oregon. But only the white people.)
If you suddenly find yourself feeling better, it because I said a prayer for you. If you don't, then I didn't.
spokepoker said:
And what would be achieved by doing what is expected of you, and by being normal? You would be just like the other 99.99999 percent of the roughly 8 billion people on the planet. All of them eating, sleeping, f***ing, taking a dump, working a meaningless job that usually just means making someone who`s already very rich even wealthier. (pluss contributing to the destruction of the environment etc) With very rare exceptions this is the case.
In reality it`s the "normal" life that is the most meaningless of all modes of existence on this planet. You will in reality never have lived you go down that road. The greatest thing that can be achieved by a man on this planet (and I do think that only men has this option available to them) is to truly be able to reason! To have an independent thinking process and arrive at your own conclusions. Invariably this will put a man at odds with society, and with most people that do not have this ability. In large because they are manipulated by elitist oligarchs, and are basically held as slaves. And this dynamic requires permanent indoctrination/propaganda, which the thinking man can escape by virtue of his independent thought process. This is however the only way in which one can truly be free, and hence worth the price that often has to be paid, in my opinion.
I don`t mean to denigrate the normal working person, and you can still in many cases participate in society in some way as a post-matrix escapee. But to think that the average persons life is something to be envied!?...in no way is that the case. Ultimately there is no meaning to life that can be proven in a scientific manner at least. The greatest satisfaction is held (again imo) by those can can come to some understanding of what this world/universe really is, and how it works. That`s where the deepest meaning that can be found lies. In other words in scientific and philosophical endeavours.
Hey Kona,
Always remember.
If you buy 5 McCafe coffees, the 6th is free.
Always remember.
If you buy 5 McCafe coffees, the 6th is free.
Kona, every one of us screws up. Given a little time most people will take a sincere apology and move on.
Now for the Make Kona Happy Again portion...
At least you're not Lumiere. Imagine that when you are sad.
Now for the Make Kona Happy Again portion...
At least you're not Lumiere. Imagine that when you are sad.
DogLover
Sparrow
spokepoker said:
Why are you only looking inward? At what YOU have achieved. What about the OTHER lives you have touched? Maybe you volunteered for a charity or donated some money to it that helped save someone's life? And that person went on to have kids who otherwise would not have existed. Or maybe your provided advice to someone that helped them straighten out their own life. If you haven't done any of these things, I have great news - you have every opportunity to do so tomorrow!
Alternatively, you can focus on yourself. What will that achieve? Even if you become rich and famous, and they name a big building after you...in 50 years, people will walk past the Spokepoker Building and say "Nice building...but I don't know or care who Spokepoker was". Anything YOU do, individually, will soon be long forgotten. But things you do that change other people's lives, will then impact their children's lives etc, and will reverberate through history...
DogLover said:
Yep. Think "It's a Wonderful Life".
Unfortunately the average person doesn't interact with others in any meaningful way anymore. Life is too automated and atomized and people are paranoid of strangers daring to say hi in the meatspace. Most of our interactions are dumpster-fire cancel-culture social media drama which is soul-sucking.
Apparently the Chicago bulls logo turned upside down looks like a robot banging a crab.
Aloha!
Aloha!
All right, that's enough. He's fine.