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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Krabbypatty" data-source="post: 1277105" data-attributes="member: 12743">It takes a lot of courage to admit when you’re sad or feel defeated.  I’ve been through miserable times in my life - a couple of which I thought were insurmountable at that time.  When we’re finally up again, it’s good to look back at those tough times. Now those periods in our lives seems like something we just smile about - a lesson learned and something to be thankful for.  In my experience, woman and work issues are two of the worst.  I started with this gaming thing at a younger age. I remember I had a gf when I was 19, and had girls on the side - including cousins who knew I was with both of them. I didn’t start very young but it was young enough that at my age now, I have ample of experience with women.  I wasn’t a late bloomer when it comes to women so to speak.  However, there were always women who seemed to be my match.  They just knew how to press the right buttons to make me feel insecure or confident. I was like a dog on a leash. They knew how to make me happy or sad.  I remember at least two women who made me feel this way.  Looking back, I’m eternally grateful that I did not end up with any of them. One hit the wall pretty bad. And the other one I realize I find unattractive now as compared to the girls I’ve recently been with.  Being with them was a nightmare but it made me a better man.  Nowadays, I’ve learned to dress better, style my hair the right way, and max my looks (as forum members here describe that endeavor in one thread).  I believe I’m only 80% in maxing out my looks as I don’t have the discipline and time to work out right now.  I hope to do better on it, but that’s a different topic. However, I get compliments from girls I meet when traveling and I get good results nowadays. I’ve always have a good jive with women.  But now, I don’t let anyone make me feel like I’m not good enough for them.  I dictate my happiness, and they can be part of it if they’d like to.  I also learned that finding the hottest girl is not what makes me happy. Instead I just want an attractive girl to have fun with and have a nice conversation with.  I no longer chase women.  I built and continue to build myself so that women gets attracted to me and all these gaming thing becomes natural.  I have no control on who will like me.  Fortunately, there’s plenty of options to make me happy. Many of them may not be in my backyard, but they’re just a stone throw away. Work is a different animal.  In my line of work, I’ve learned to stay below the radar.  I just do my job and get out of there.  I made some good investments during my younger years.  Right timing, hard work, and well-thought risk-taking worked well in my favor.  My financial situation is similar to someone 20-30 years my senior in my line of work.  I used to enjoy humbly bragging about these achievements to my coworkers who I knew were secretly and not-so-secretly hating on me.  I knew it made them more pissed off behind their fake smiles.  Lol. Nowadays, I no longer care what they think.  I am also secure knowing that if the you-know-what hits the fan, that I could just sell everything and live a new life else where.  I could retire in other parts or the world with a well-budgeted financial planning now or in a few years if I’d like to. However, I’m still weary of uncertainty and I’d like to keep my status quo for now, as long as I could.  I’ve also stayed away from people who have negative effects in my life.  There are people that feel like weights that are pulling you down. I don’t need them in my life.  I’d rather meet new people who I could learn from or at least be neutral in my growth.  Happiness is not fixed. It’s always a moving target. I hope to find that contentment that will make me happy, like probably meeting my life partner before I hit a certain age.  I have time.  In fact, I’ve already met some good candidates. However, I’m not yet ready. I also know that they won’t be there when I’m ready.  But I know there’s more in the horizon.  Try to identify what will make you happy and contented.  Many of us are just a couple or so decades away from leaving this world or when our body is no longer what it used to be. Things could go wrong earlier if you get diagnosed with life-changing  medical condition that you have no control of. Happiness  should not be a never-ending search.  I’m living the life now.  Someday I’d like to slow down and look back knowing that I made the most out of this life.  If you feel like you’re in a slump, define your next goal. And start working on it when you’re ready. Whatever makes you sad now, it is just temporary.  Someday you will look back and smile about this. Aloha!</blockquote>

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