Is it a red flag if a woman has been sexually abused?

2Beta

Chicken
It'll be easier to gain more financial independence once I graduate grad school.
No offense, but this is just another classic blue pill defense mechanism. Did it myself for years. “I’ll grow up AFTER I get my degree”. There’s always some other bullshit credential you “need” before you can “start” your life. In reality, your “life” should have started shortly after you finished puberty. Men should be building discipline and skills well into their 20s before even bothering chasing women and leisure. If your masters doesn’t lead to a direct job pipeline upon graduation, I’d honestly say it’s likely not even worth showing up tomorrow. College is a trap to keep you subservient to academics that were too cowardly and useless to make it in the real world. Now, I get it, you’ve invested in it, might as well finish, but it’s highly unlikely anything will feel different when you finish.
 
No offense, but this is just another classic blue pill defense mechanism. Did it myself for years. “I’ll grow up AFTER I get my degree”. There’s always some other bullshit credential you “need” before you can “start” your life. In reality, your “life” should have started shortly after you finished puberty. Men should be building discipline and skills well into their 20s before even bothering chasing women and leisure. If your masters doesn’t lead to a direct job pipeline upon graduation, I’d honestly say it’s likely not even worth showing up tomorrow. College is a trap to keep you subservient to academics that were too cowardly and useless to make it in the real world. Now, I get it, you’ve invested in it, might as well finish, but it’s highly unlikely anything will feel different when you finish.
Yeah, you may be right. Not trying to say I’m not choosing to grow up right at this moment, I’m just saying I’ll have more time to make money. I’m training to become a counselor, so I need to work on all of this stuff anyways. I know I won’t feel different when I finish, in fact I’m kinda jaded about the field anyways. But, I still will finish because I don’t like giving up. I also have a marketing degree I can fall back on since that was my undergraduate degree. But, I digress... I say all of this to mean that I’m not making excuses to be slothful. Maybe I need to just suck it up and stop thinking about all of this and just “do.”
 

Kona

Crow
Gold Member
Before we met in person - 4-5 FaceTime’s in. She said that she thought it was important to let me know if we were going to meet in person. Then, when we met in person, there was a trauma response triggered by me going too far sexually

There's your biggest red flag.

If I got raped I would have to know you pretty well to talk about it.

Crazy chicks treat rape like some badge of honor. Most of them are just lying about it. She can't talk to a therapist, or a detective, but can with some stranger. I'm not buying it. Unless you saw some court records, she's lying. Also, instead of calling it a "trauma response" just call it what it is. A temper tantrum. You got conned by some crazy chick looking for attention. End of story.

I can't imagine what the round or golf was like with her brother. Did you guys talk about the raping?

Aloha!
 
There's your biggest red flag.

If I got raped I would have to know you pretty well to talk about it.

Crazy chicks treat rape like some badge of honor. Most of them are just lying about it. She can't talk to a therapist, or a detective, but can with some stranger. I'm not buying it. Unless you saw some court records, she's lying. Also, instead of calling it a "trauma response" just call it what it is. A temper tantrum. You got conned by some crazy chick looking for attention. End of story.

I can't imagine what the round or golf was like with her brother. Did you guys talk about the raping?

Aloha!
How long would a natural timeline be for talking about something of that caliber without it being a red flag?

Eh, I mean, she did have trauma responses... like shaking and everything. So, I’m pretty sure it was the truth. Unless she was an amazing actor. It was difficult for her to talk about emotions and her voice would shake and everything and would shut down when the response happened. She never got mad. She also said she never was angry at me at all when I asked her to forgive me for leaving her that night when she had the truama response.

With her brother we talked about video games, life, philosophy, and then his past relationships. He revealed to me mistakes from his past with trying to manipulate a girl he liked by saying he’d complete suicide if she didn’t date him or something... looking back that was very quick to reveal that to me.

He did not talk about the raping with me.

I just chalked it all up to them being authentic with me...

Edit: Another thing, when I visited her family her dad shared his past with drugs and his path to Christ. And her mom told me about her past with her family struggles (but to a lesser degree of detail). Although, i didn’t see it as abnormal due to it feeling like it flowed pretty well in conversation.

The hard part is that they were all so kind and hospitable. Like, her brother picked me up and dropped me off at the airport. They made amazing dinners for us. We all played games together and had a great time... they were really kind from my perception. I don’t want to paint them black.
 
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He revealed to me mistakes from his past with trying to manipulate a girl he liked by saying he’d complete suicide if she didn’t date him or something... looking back that was very quick to reveal that to me.

He did not talk about the raping with me.

I just chalked it all up to them being authentic with me...

Edit: Another thing, when I visited her family her dad shared his past with drugs and his path to Christ. And her mom told me about her past with her family struggles (but to a lesser degree of detail). Although, i didn’t see it as abnormal due to it feeling like it flowed pretty well in conversation.
How many red flags did you ignore here?
 

2Beta

Chicken
Again, no offense to the OP, but you really sound like you are in for a hard awakening in time. You are browsing this forum, which means you are asking some tough questions to yourself, but you speak of becoming a counselor and having a marketing degree, and dealing with these emotional issues with women. I’m not trying to be mean, but I think eventually you will either succumb to blue pill and reject this forum and it’s ideas, or become incredibly jaded and choose to “start over” and find your masculinity. I’m speaking from experience here because you sound rather like myself. Maybe you can find a niche as a “red pilled” counselor, but the field itself is likely full of crazies trying to justify their blue pulled worldview and/or cater to broken fags and soy boys. Marketing? highly feminized/faggotized. Again, I don’t blame you, and I’m not trying to be mean, but I’d suggest you aim for a reckoning sooner rather than later (I unfortunately waited until later). I wallowed in depression and low-T behaviors for the entirety of my 20s and I’m still trying to come to terms with it now. The fact that you are open to the ideas on this forum means you likely won’t be happy or fulfilled in militantly liberal/feminized environments such as corporate marketing and psychology.
 
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unit414

Sparrow
Yes, it's a huge red flag. Simply because the vast majority of them are lying about it. Amongst young White women, it has become trendy to claim they have been sexually assaulted/raped at some point in their lives.

I swear, a lot of these women are so whacked-out now, if some dude asks them out, in their tiny, emotional minds it is sexual harassment, if not sexual assault.
 
Yes, it's a huge red flag. Simply because the vast majority of them are lying about it. Amongst young White women, it has become trendy to claim they have been sexually assaulted/raped at some point in their lives.

I swear, a lot of these women are so whacked-out now, if some dude asks them out, in their tiny, emotional minds it is sexual harassment, if not sexual assault.
Eh, I really do agree with you that avast majority lie about this kinda thing. The MeToo movement fucked things up regarding this. But, yes, although this was probably a red flag I will remember in the future, I truly don’t think she was lying regarding what I experienced.
 
Again, no offense to the OP, but you really sound like you are in for a hard awakening in time. You are browsing this forum, which means you are asking some tough questions to yourself, but you speak of becoming a counselor and having a marketing degree, and dealing with these emotional issues with women. I’m not trying to be mean, but I think eventually you will either succumb to blue pill and reject this forum and it’s ideas, or become incredibly jaded and choose to “start over” and find your masculinity. I’m speaking from experience here because you sound rather like myself. Maybe you can find a niche as a “red pilled” counselor, but the field itself is likely full of crazies trying to justify their blue pulled worldview and/or cater to broken fags and soy boys. Marketing? highly feminized/faggotized. Again, I don’t blame you, and I’m not trying to be mean, but I’d suggest you aim for a reckoning sooner rather than later (I unfortunately waited until later). I wallowed in depression and low-T behaviors for the entirety of my 20s and I’m still trying to come to terms with it now. The fact that you are open to the ideas on this forum means you likely won’t be happy or fulfilled in militantly liberal/feminized environments such as corporate marketing and psychology.
Which job fields aren’t militantly liberal/feminized if it sounds like those are?

Ive been thinking about doing counseling, but avoiding the soft science aspects that usually get infiltrated by the propaganda of feminism amd cultural Marxism and just sticking to the harder science aspects of it all (depression, anxiety, ocd, etc.). But, like you say, that may still lead to me being jaded.

I’m pretty well-versed in the blue pill/red pill dichotomy, but I don’t really think either extreme is “correct” 100%.

Sounds like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place with the time I’ve spent in both of my degrees if what you say is true.
 

2Beta

Chicken
Which job fields aren’t militantly liberal/feminized if it sounds like those are?

Ive been thinking about doing counseling, but avoiding the soft science aspects that usually get infiltrated by the propaganda of feminism amd cultural Marxism and just sticking to the harder science aspects of it all (depression, anxiety, ocd, etc.). But, like you say, that may still lead to me being jaded.

I’m pretty well-versed in the blue pill/red pill dichotomy, but I don’t really think either extreme is “correct” 100%.

Sounds like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place with the time I’ve spent in both of my degrees if what you say is true.
I’m just speaking anecdotally, so obviously do your own research before taking my word. There are few truly masculine fields left and of course they aren’t for everyone regardless. I know Americans fetishize entrepreneurship already, but it’s probably one of the best paths in terms of building your self worth and skill set to succeed. If I could do it all over, I would have stopped telling myself to “find my passion” and just got involved in growing a business of some sort, and recognizing that failing is learning. It doesn’t have to be some sexy business you are in love with, just something you can learn from. The lessons learned would have certainly been more productive than anything so wasted my time doing in my 20s.
 
I’m just speaking anecdotally, so obviously do your own research before taking my word. There are few truly masculine fields left and of course they aren’t for everyone regardless. I know Americans fetishize entrepreneurship already, but it’s probably one of the best paths in terms of building your self worth and skill set to succeed. If I could do it all over, I would have stopped telling myself to “find my passion” and just got involved in growing a business of some sort, and recognizing that failing is learning. It doesn’t have to be some sexy business you are in love with, just something you can learn from. The lessons learned would have certainly been more productive than anything so wasted my time doing in my 20s.
Yeah, that makes sense. I can technically go the entrepreneurial route by opening my own private practice, but that’s still within the field of counseling. I need to find a gap in the market and fill it with something useful and attractive to the general public... but, that just leads me to brainstorming time.
I got pulled into the “go with your passion” job and I wish I would have just gone into engeneering or finance because they probably have less infiltration by the cultural Marxist’s.
 
There's your biggest red flag.

If I got raped I would have to know you pretty well to talk about it.

Crazy chicks treat rape like some badge of honor. Most of them are just lying about it. She can't talk to a therapist, or a detective, but can with some stranger. I'm not buying it. Unless you saw some court records, she's lying. Also, instead of calling it a "trauma response" just call it what it is. A temper tantrum. You got conned by some crazy chick looking for attention. End of story.

I can't imagine what the round or golf was like with her brother. Did you guys talk about the raping?

Aloha!
This chimes pretty well with my experience. I've been married twice (first time aged 20), with a two year single period between divorce and remarriage. I was following the old Roosh ways during that period and would say that roughly 60% of the women I dated had some kind of rape or abuse story that they told me at an extremely early stage. One, a single mother, actually raised it on the first date (claimed she was raped by her ex-boyfriend, the father of her son). I took it all with a pinch of salt. None of these women ever filed any kind of police report, or seemed to have any other kind of evidence suggesting it really happened. I'm certain some of it did happen, but the most concerning aspect of it all to me is that it did seem like some kind of way to exploit feeling or emotion out of a man who was, to them, really a stranger. I feel tremendous sympathy for all abused people, and pray they find healing, but there is something terribly creepy about the ubiquity of such claims in the dating process.
 
This chimes pretty well with my experience. I've been married twice (first time aged 20), with a two year single period between divorce and remarriage. I was following the old Roosh ways during that period and would say that roughly 60% of the women I dated had some kind of rape or abuse story that they told me at an extremely early stage. One, a single mother, actually raised it on the first date (claimed she was raped by her ex-boyfriend, the father of her son). I took it all with a pinch of salt. None of these women ever filed any kind of police report, or seemed to have any other kind of evidence suggesting it really happened. I'm certain some of it did happen, but the most concerning aspect of it all to me is that it did seem like some kind of way to exploit feeling or emotion out of a man who was, to them, really a stranger. I feel tremendous sympathy for all abused people, and pray they find healing, but there is something terribly creepy about the ubiquity of such claims in the dating process.
Yeah, the emotional manipulation is abhorrent if that is the intent of the women spouting off “rape” if it isn’t actually rape. What she told me was very violent and it really is difficult to think about what she told me. I have no reason to doubt what she told me either. She said the guy went to jail and everything. Although, I don’t have any papers to back this up. It’s all word of mouth and trust. Maybe I trust too easily though.

The hope for their healing and sympathy is something I agree with. But, it’s hard to detatch when you hear something like that in detail. It’s hard to forget. Although, I am culpable for my mistakes too and need to man up and endure the consequences of my actions in those mistakes.

What did you learn through those experiences that you didn’t know prior to going through them regarding this?
 
Yeah, the emotional manipulation is abhorrent if that is the intent of the women spouting off “rape” if it isn’t actually rape. What she told me was very violent and it really is difficult to think about what she told me. I have no reason to doubt what she told me either. She said the guy went to jail and everything. Although, I don’t have any papers to back this up. It’s all word of mouth and trust. Maybe I trust too easily though.

The hope for their healing and sympathy is something I agree with. But, it’s hard to detatch when you hear something like that in detail. It’s hard to forget. Although, I am culpable for my mistakes too and need to man up and endure the consequences of my actions in those mistakes.

What did you learn through those experiences that you didn’t know prior to going through them regarding this?
I think you will detach in time. This all sounds very recent and raw from what you've described. So the first thing I can say I "learned" is that these accounts can be shocking and disturbing, and you'll probably always remember the one you heard, but you will eventually "digest" it, for lack of a better term. We live in a terrible and fallen world, filled with cruelty and depravity. Thankfully, this girl survived this horrible crime and it sounds like she's a decent person. So if you care about her still, just be grateful for that, and try to find peace again in your own life. The world is full of pain and hurts. Take what you've learned from her story and apply it to your future wife and daughters in terms of helping them stay safe.
 

Kona

Crow
Gold Member
Eh, I mean, she did have trauma responses... like shaking and everything. So, I’m pretty sure it was the truth. Unless she was an amazing actor.

I think she and her whole family are mediocre actors, at best. I think that you don't have anywhere near enough experience to recognize this. I'm not at all saying that's bad, we were all there at one point or another.

Granted I've been out of the game for a few years, and I know nothing about this online relationship nonsense other than it's the Jews behind it, I see so many red flags here I could set up a virtual slalom course.

I and everyone else here wants to see you succeed. I'm more than happy to go over every red flag I see so that this doesn't happen again. First, we need to stop this fire from spreading. Read what I'm about to type very carefully, and follow each step to the letter.

The bulk of the communication between you and this girl took place digitally. I'm going to assume you have all of it saved and have watched the videos and read the texts repeatedly. Under normal circumstances, we'd tell you to delete it all and put it past you. These are not normal circumstances.

Go through all of the communication and document every spot where she acknowledges that any and all sexual or physical contact between the two of you was totally consensual. Archive it, and then stop reading it. You keep saying "Eh" so I'm gonna assume you are in Canada. When the RCMP shows up at your door to investigate a rape that her manipulative golfer brother and drug addict father both confirm happened, you have your defense ducks (geese in Canada) in a row.

When the poster on this forum formerly known as Papaya Tapper was in the CIA academy they taught him that "Once is circumstance, twice is happenstance, three times is enemy action." The "trauma responses," family of manipulators, and well-documented communication all lead me to believe the idea of setting you up crossed one of their minds at some point or another.

Take care of that, then get back to us and we'll walk you through all of these big red flags.

Aloha!
 
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