Is Social Interaction in Decline?

[Cynllo]

When I was between the ages of 0-4 the only friends I had lived within several houses, and all our parents interacted all the time. I remember neighbours coming over for Christmas and vice versa.

This is in the 80s and 90s. And it seemed to me that this ended some time around the millennium and I've not observed the same level of interaction since. People on my childhood street still interact, but not to the extent they used to.

Is this just my perspective? Or is this a broader trend? It seems the latter is true and this process has probably been accelerating since WW2.

 

[Artpoet296]

When I was between the ages of 0-4 the only friends I had lived within several houses, and all our parents interacted all the time. I remember neighbours coming over for Christmas and vice versa.

This is in the 80s and 90s. And it seemed to me that this ended some time around the millennium and I've not observed the same level of interaction since. People on my childhood street still interact, but not to the extent they used to.

Is this just my perspective? Or is this a broader trend? It seems the latter is true and this process has probably been accelerating since WW2.

Ever since the invention of social media and smartphones people has been way more cliquey and stick to themselves.

They’d rather have that 100 likes on Facebook or instagram, than have a normal day to day interaction with an acquaintance. Most people would rather keep the ‘image’ that they have on their social media sites than get out of the house and talk to strangers and form actual connections .Can’t blame them, I’ve been guilty of this myself. Currently, I live by myself for the time being, and I may just chat up random strangers at bookstores and coffee shops just for fun lol.

 

[Blade Runner]

Yes, but it has as much to do with atomization/age/limited family formation than the actual desire of each particular human to not have contacts. As we get older, since we didn't start and maintain the same lives as our ancestors, by definition we see that most people aren't our style or are nonsense, by and large.

 

[Hombre de hielo]

It's just that now people can show their individualism as it is!

 

[Viktor Zeegelaar]

I've gotten disconcerting information from friends that work with younger people, such as students. They characterise them by being always restless. They can't go without an hour watching on their phone: even if it's forbidden in the classroom, physically they aren't able to not do it. Then I hear that from screen time calculations young women spent hours and hours on social media: I've heard cases where the average daily screentime on these apps is 8-12 hours, aka every waking minute that's not spent on what ''has to be done'' they spend on social media. Given the nature of especially TikTok now with the attention span destroying 20 seconds trends, and the constant unhappiness caused by things like Instagram where everyone seemingly is always traveling and has a splendid life, these are ingredients for total disaster. Couple that with a total absence of any morals, right/wrongs, rules, boundaries, for their parents are the hippie 70s generation, you've got absolutely ZERO foundation for life if you're such a young person. Also with regard to the social interaction specifically, I hear that often groups (of young women especially) are in one room, but they're using WhatsApp or SnapChat to communicate. So even if the person is next to them, they tend to prefer sending pictures/messages through their phone. For boys I imagine this has more of a component with gaming, where many young men probably are constantly doing video games on their phone or other devices.

So in sum, what we get from the 20 years old and younger generations is a bunch of kids who will never become adults, for they don't have a foundation given by their parents and society, who can't distinguish right from wrong, don't have morals, who think they're all special, will be wholly unprepared for adversity in life, don't want to work hard nor ever had to really do anything, are not disciplined, are constantly distracted by social media, entertainment and technology and who are a bunch of attention spanless social retards who can barely communicate in real life. That's a promising future.

 

[Mike_Key]

I've seen some of the same. I'm among a group of traditional families and one of the boys confessed to playing 130 hours of a video game, the software tracks your time. Mighty sad actually ... he's thin, plays sports and isn't terribly awkward, yet there's room for social improvement.

Twice within the past 30 days, myself and some other adults were able to get a group of kids out into the forest and on the water for some adventures/water sports. Although, for a smidgen of critique - those events were lackluster in a few ways - struggle with logistics, dull interest by some parents and little funding. I mean, you'd hope that everyone would push through and make the events beyond great. They were good, no doubt; but the greatness that me and my friends (without parents) created in the forest for ourselves - back in the day with no gear and no funding - is definitely missing. Back then (1980's) we would make it happen. We'd come up with crazy adventures, I can't believe some of us didn't die and then we'd go to someone's house after 6 hours to finally drink water from a water-hose. We'd "tank-up", each drinking a gallon of water or so. We'd find animal crackers in a cupboard at someone's house and have a few - all while chatting about "any and everything". Hopefully we can revive some of that passion and social interaction.

John 3:16

 

[Akaky Akakievitch]

Just like how women don't need men like they used to due to modern technology and conveniences, I think the same goes for friends and communities these days. Whereas in the past you would really need to rely on your friends and neighbours for skills, knowledge, wisdom, entertainment, etc. now much of this has been replaced by the Machine, or the internet, technological advances and the like.

Instead of asking a neighbour for help with something, you ask the internet. Instead of having a conversation, you watch a live-stream instead or play video games with people who appeal to your niche personality. There are pros and cons to all this of course -- RVF itself could only exist online as you would struggle to gather organically all these like minds in the physical world. We wouldn't want to forsake the commonality we experience here for the mundane or NPC perspectives we gain in the 'real world', but there is great value in having strong community and friendly relations with physically close neighbours, no matter what differences of opinion there are. No online community can truly replace real world community, as online conversation cannot win over face to face communication either.

So we should all struggle to do more, and work against the tide, which wants us to be even more atomised than we are already, even if it means being uncomfortable and insecure. But that's the crux of it I think - making ourselves vulnerable for the greater good of the community. It's risky and may not always be reciprocated with the same enthusiasm, so its far easier to retreat into the Pod and surf online instead.

It's only because we have the option to retreat into the Pod however. If it wasn't available, as with all other previous eras of history, then we wouldn't go there. So this is one of many dilemmas we are all facing in the 21st century, alongside all the radical trends and cultural changes, and how we deal with them.

I'm just as guilty as the rest for retreating into the Pod and possibly sending out mixed messages due to my self-imposed isolation or solitude, but it will never go back to how it was, especially as immigration and awareness of sexual abuse has greatly damaged public trust, and so parents (mainly for Westernised or affluent 1st world countries) don't allow children to roam as freely as before. The close-knit community still exists in certain pockets, particularly poverty stricken areas that have one foot in the past, so perhaps it would be better to move to these areas, though it will entail its own risks of course.

Generally speaking though, as a trend, it seems that the more affluent the area, the more atomised, and conversely the poorer the neighbourhood the more community there is, although it would be much more eccentric and interactive, and probably many of us would find this more of a nuisance than an overall improvement to our daily lives, but its all very contextual depending on what country, climate and community you are surrounded by.

 

[Sandalwood Peak]

They were good, no doubt; but the greatness that me and my friends (without parents) created in the forest for ourselves - back in the day with no gear and no funding - is definitely missing. Back then (1980's) we would make it happen.

Without a shadow of a doubt kids would love to do that but they're getting very negative feedback from adults. Kids feel the room.

The idea that toys have somehow made kids stop being kids is laughable. I had around the clock cartoons, I loved friendship more.

 

[bubs]

Ever since the invention of social media and smartphones people has been way more cliquey and stick to themselves.

They’d rather have that 100 likes on Facebook or instagram, than have a normal day to day interaction with an acquaintance. Most people would rather keep the ‘image’ that they have on their social media sites than get out of the house and talk to strangers and form actual connections .Can’t blame them, I’ve been guilty of this myself. Currently, I live by myself for the time being, and I may just chat up random strangers at bookstores and coffee shops just for fun lol.

100% this ^. Video Games to some degree prior to the onset of the smart phone/social media but once video games could be played online that’s when gamers really accelerated into their own little bubble. And girls once text messaging became the mode of communication. So I think some acceleration from 2000-2010 and then Smartphones and social media exploded the downward spiral from 2010 onward. Let’s add all the streaming services keep people pacified and entertained in their bubble as well.

 

[Bird]

It's risky and may not always be reciprocated with the same enthusiasm, so its far easier to retreat into the Pod and surf online instead.

It's only because we have the option to retreat into the Pod however.

For me, it's a matter of cost or risk / benefit analysis and has nothing to do with the existence of the internet in the first place. And to be honest, why should I ask my neighbor for something when I can get the information I need in just one second on the net? Why should I talk to NPCs let's say about the holohoax, and then some idiot calls the police?

 

[Akaky Akakievitch]

For me, it's a matter of cost or risk / benefit analysis and has nothing to do with the existence of the internet in the first place. And to be honest, why should I ask my neighbor for something when I can get the information I need in just one second on the net? Why should I talk to NPCs let's say about the holohoax, and then some idiot calls the police?

You validate my first point about it being a question of necessity. Indeed you have the internet, so what's the point? Exactly that, if we didn't have it then we'd ask neighbours and friends far more often. The option makes us weaker, if you see what I mean. In the past, it was far easier because there was no alternative. We're all influenced by the culture and environment around us, to some extent we can't help that.

All I'd say about normie neighbours: it's probably better to avoid controversial/conspiratorial topics until you establish much deeper trust anyway. For the sake of harmony, its not worth splitting the community apart by debating gas chambers and the six million figure. Sort of comical but probably damaging in the long run - unless they're conspiracy nuts like us, which would be ideal.

 

[Valentin Pearson]

These days people actually think that there's such a thing as an online community. There isn't.

 

[Mr Freedom]

Around 2006/7 is when I started to notice that people interracted with others less. Also less kids in the neighbourhood playing ball games around that time as well.

 

[Ave_Maria]

Orthodox article about the value of loneliness. Looking at spending the rest of my life alone has been getting to me more lately. This helps put it in perspective. Solitude is a serious risk, and guaranteed suffering, basically a furnace of suffering that refines you and makes you pure in heart, living in constant prayer and very close to God, or else solitude drives you insane.

Solitude Is an Abyss of Soul Designed For God. Sergei Komarov

Solitude shows us who we are and gives us an opportunity to fill the “yawning abyss” of the human soul. Whether this vacuum is to be filled by God, or the “babble and rattle” of TV, or the escape from ourselves into the labyrinths of social media—the choice is in our hands. Our history knows...

orthochristian.com

Edit to add this quote from the article:
"A personality develops in solitude, in cold emptiness, where it becomes clear to a man that he is born alone and dies alone. In this emptiness he begins to pray. And then God fills this emptiness. The man begins to grasp his past life and eternity becomes evident,” writes a modern pastor Archpriest Andrei Tkachev.

Also, another article on a closely related topic:

Fr. Gregory Jensen. Privacy, Silence and Prayer

Fr. Gregory Jensen continues on prayer and thoughts.

orthochristian.com

These articles made me think of a clear voice I heard a few years back before I had fully committed to stop pursuing women and marriage. There was a certain woman I was trying to decide if I should cohabitate with again. I already knew it was a bad idea, but I also knew solitude was going to be horrible because this was during the first part of the "covid" lockdowns which were severe in my old state, and I was alone 24/7 day in and day out for the first time in my life. I went camping in the winter to try and clear my head and was up on some sand dunes looking out over the water and clearly heard God telling me "you can be alone with Me, or you can be alone with Satan, there are no other choices." Being weak and stupid I didn't listen, when I got back home I told myself it probably wasn't God, I was probably just making it up, and went back to cohabitating with the woman anyway. Predictably it all blew up and ended horribly, which is par for the course with me and women, hence my decision to remain alone. But those words stuck with me, and it's clear to me now, like when I first heard them, it was truth from God in my particular situation.

 

[Towgunner]

Yes, at least here in the US and, perhaps, more broadly the West. The reasons are obvious - look at the political situation. In the US we're in a cold civil war because the differences between various groups are irrevocable. Also, these various groups are unyielding in their beliefs, ergo, clash of two or more irrevocable wills. It stands that under such conditions social interactions will decline.

To elaborate on these differences and aversion to interaction, consider the "trans" and pedophilia agendas. Regrettably, there are people out there who approve of all of this, pedophilia included. Massachusetts, regardless of our reputation, is a radically divided state. You see it where it matters, on the back of cars/trucks or the kinds of flags flying over homes. Back the Blue is the enemy of pride and BLM and vice versa...this is the simple truth.

Under such conditions, both parties know full well that they rub shoulders with these individuals on a daily basis at places like supermarkets or gas stations or sporting events etc.

I'm not going to speak for those non-human things that support the worst human atrocity in all of recorded history (trans and pedophilia), rather, let's imagine how a normal person must feel traversing this landscape knowing there are pedophiles and people who approve of castrating 5-year-olds around them.

From this vantage point, you should appreciate why social interactions are down.

 

[ThinTern]

Obviously, social media and dating apps have completely rewired peoples brains to think "there is always somebody more interesting than you out there, just one click away" and so people make zero effort to interact with those immediately around them. it's really sad, actually. On a positive note, I've noticed that having even the slightest bit of sincere charisma (caring about the other person, engaging with them about their interests) will find you making people's days left and right.
I've started calling cashiers and baggers at my local grocery mart by the name on their name tag, and saying things like "how is your day going", and interacting with them as sincerely as I can (even building some rapport with few), and they seem to not mind at all when I don't tip them. The transaction we made was in relational capitol, and that is increasingly more rare (and more valued) these days.
The opposite is true when somebody walks through the shopping line, their face buried in the phone in their hand, doesn't even greet the person checking out their groceries. These people feel like they HAVE to tip because, well that person is nothing more than a serf packaging my groceries, so throw them a few bucks and maybe the soul will feel better about completely ignoring another human being in such an obvious way. And when they don't tip, the baggers always glare at them. At least throw me some crumbs, if you intend to treat me like a dog, thinks the hourly bagger...
Seems like returning to more social interactive practices actually has potential for more rewards than just the spiritual!

 

[Neighbor]

Obviously, social media and dating apps have completely rewired peoples brains to think "there is always somebody more interesting than you out there, just one click away" and so people make zero effort to interact with those immediately around them. it's really sad, actually. On a positive note, I've noticed that having even the slightest bit of sincere charisma (caring about the other person, engaging with them about their interests) will find you making people's days left and right.
I've started calling cashiers and baggers at my local grocery mart by the name on their name tag, and saying things like "how is your day going", and interacting with them as sincerely as I can (even building some rapport with few), and they seem to not mind at all when I don't tip them. The transaction we made was in relational capitol, and that is increasingly more rare (and more valued) these days.
The opposite is true when somebody walks through the shopping line, their face buried in the phone in their hand, doesn't even greet the person checking out their groceries. These people feel like they HAVE to tip because, well that person is nothing more than a serf packaging my groceries, so throw them a few bucks and maybe the soul will feel better about completely ignoring another human being in such an obvious way. And when they don't tip, the baggers always glare at them. At least throw me some crumbs, if you intend to treat me like a dog, thinks the hourly bagger...
Seems like returning to more social interactive practices actually has potential for more rewards than just the spiritual!

In what countries do you tip a cashier or grocery bagger?

 

[rouchno1fan]

Often I see everyone in the gym wearing headphones, staring at phones between sets (or even during!). No awareness of anyone else's presence and no interaction at all. It's just sad.

 

[Towgunner]

I can understand why social interaction is declining - we're a very divided society right now. I talk a lot about pedophilia and how it's emerging and what that means for us. At present, whether by ignorance or outright acknowledgment, there is a cohort of people, "progressives", who are complicit in the systematic sexualization of children (pedophilia). They walk among us and are everywhere. pedophilia is self evidently the greatest of all evils. And there are people among us in our communities who are seemingly or even unknowingly "okay" with this. Again, I do believe the vast majority of these people are sheeple and don't see this (yet) - but that's another story. For the moment, due to how odious and repugnant pedophilia is we cannot let their sheeple[ness]/ignorance be an excuse - they are nonetheless complicit. I think people from all walks of life are seeing this ugly thing for the simple fact that it's being enthusiastically pushed just like every other "liberal" social "cause". As Dr. James Lindsey pointed out "It's not so much that they're putting pornographic materials in your schools it's that they're fighting like hell to keep it in there". At some point, these awakening people will conclude what I outlined above, that we walk among people complicit in the greatest human atrocity in all of human history. That means there's a 100% chance that all of us will encounter a pedophile today (or someone complicit with it, which is the same thing). With such conditions in place, is there any wonder why social interactions are declining?