Is the Forum Suffering from SAD or Cabin Fever?
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Capitán Peligroso
Kingfisher
We can choose to read inflammatory posts and especially drama threads or not. All of the guys that have posted in this thread so far have been on this forum long enough to see this shit coming a mile away. So, to indulge it or not, the choice is each of ours individually.
If you're going to read these drama threads, pay attention, and notice your reaction to what someone says. Someone's hamster post is a function of their hamster. Your reaction to what they say is a function of yours.
I can choose the response to my own or someone else's hamster, so can you. Getting sucked in to drama is a choice; so is not getting sucked in. Typing out a response to someone's hamster post is a choice.
1) We can choose to read drama threads or not.
2) We can notice our reaction (and be mindful of our hamster that we all have) or we can remain oblivious to it.
3) We can choose to act on our hamster shit (or someone else's hamster shit), or not.
At every point in this whole process, we can choose our response, or choose not to respond at all. Ultimately, it is a matter of free will <~~~to pretend this isn't the case, or to not be mindful of it, also a choice.
In applying the principles stated above, I stopped commenting in political threads in this forum awhile ago for the most part, because it's rarely ever a productive use of my time. As a general rule, I agree with Hen's political views, and respected his efforts to vigorously argue his positions, which aren't always popular here. His leaving this community is a tremendous loss to it, in my opinion, and I suspect many of his adversaries in those political threads would agree. I've been reading this forum for three years, and I consider him to be in about the top five or six posters here in terms of quality, specificity, and actionability of data. He dropped enough specific data on areas that I know well to know that his data wasn't bullshit; without ever meeting the guy, I know he won't be replaced here anytime soon. When our hamsters get the best of us, it costs us all. This episode is just one example.
Check your hamster, check yourself. You have my word I'll be doing the same.
If you're going to read these drama threads, pay attention, and notice your reaction to what someone says. Someone's hamster post is a function of their hamster. Your reaction to what they say is a function of yours.
I can choose the response to my own or someone else's hamster, so can you. Getting sucked in to drama is a choice; so is not getting sucked in. Typing out a response to someone's hamster post is a choice.
1) We can choose to read drama threads or not.
2) We can notice our reaction (and be mindful of our hamster that we all have) or we can remain oblivious to it.
3) We can choose to act on our hamster shit (or someone else's hamster shit), or not.
At every point in this whole process, we can choose our response, or choose not to respond at all. Ultimately, it is a matter of free will <~~~to pretend this isn't the case, or to not be mindful of it, also a choice.
In applying the principles stated above, I stopped commenting in political threads in this forum awhile ago for the most part, because it's rarely ever a productive use of my time. As a general rule, I agree with Hen's political views, and respected his efforts to vigorously argue his positions, which aren't always popular here. His leaving this community is a tremendous loss to it, in my opinion, and I suspect many of his adversaries in those political threads would agree. I've been reading this forum for three years, and I consider him to be in about the top five or six posters here in terms of quality, specificity, and actionability of data. He dropped enough specific data on areas that I know well to know that his data wasn't bullshit; without ever meeting the guy, I know he won't be replaced here anytime soon. When our hamsters get the best of us, it costs us all. This episode is just one example.
Check your hamster, check yourself. You have my word I'll be doing the same.
I think Mike has set a good example by being very selective about what he posts- it always has me being curious and reading something when actually does, but I also think that maybe some people can benefit from posting a lot.
I've learned a lot here, and I post a lot it seems. I don't have the best rep point to post ratio yet, but I'm still in the learning process. I'm experimenting with different techniques and approaches right now, and i think it can help me to get feedback from you guys on what to do.
I think the drama here has definitely been picking up lately, and I don't understand why. I think it might have something to do with the popularity of the forum and ROK as well as the new podcasts etc. All of that stuff is great, but we are now transitioning from a little village into a bigger town, and some guys might be getting territorial.
Just about every major poster on here has been trolled by the forum- in some ways the biggest troll on the forum is the forum itself! I think that guys are using it to deal with their emotional issues that they can't share with people in their offline lives, so there a lot of egos to manage.. And there's going to be more as we go through the transition I believe. That said, it will probably come out stronger in the end if we can make it through without imploding.
It's like in Ghostbusters 2 when all of the cities' negative energy turns into a river of pink goo.
I've learned a lot here, and I post a lot it seems. I don't have the best rep point to post ratio yet, but I'm still in the learning process. I'm experimenting with different techniques and approaches right now, and i think it can help me to get feedback from you guys on what to do.
I think the drama here has definitely been picking up lately, and I don't understand why. I think it might have something to do with the popularity of the forum and ROK as well as the new podcasts etc. All of that stuff is great, but we are now transitioning from a little village into a bigger town, and some guys might be getting territorial.
Just about every major poster on here has been trolled by the forum- in some ways the biggest troll on the forum is the forum itself! I think that guys are using it to deal with their emotional issues that they can't share with people in their offline lives, so there a lot of egos to manage.. And there's going to be more as we go through the transition I believe. That said, it will probably come out stronger in the end if we can make it through without imploding.
It's like in Ghostbusters 2 when all of the cities' negative energy turns into a river of pink goo.
Capitán Peligroso,
Either I am missing the point completely (very possible), or you seem to be broadening the idea of "hamster" to mean "any forceful reaction whatsoever."
"Check your hamster" sounds bizarre as general advice to RVF members.
Does a guy saying what he feels constitute hamsterism?
I agree that as men we should act rationally, but as I understand the concept, "hamster" does not mean simply "emotion."
How is every form of expression ever not hamster?
Either I am missing the point completely (very possible), or you seem to be broadening the idea of "hamster" to mean "any forceful reaction whatsoever."
"Check your hamster" sounds bizarre as general advice to RVF members.
Does a guy saying what he feels constitute hamsterism?
I agree that as men we should act rationally, but as I understand the concept, "hamster" does not mean simply "emotion."
How is every form of expression ever not hamster?
I think I over do it sometimes. I chalk it up to sitting in a cubical all day with minimum attention from upper management to prevent me from being on my phone/rvf for most of the day. I'd like to post something of value but all I can really offer are stupid rap songs and wrestling videos for another two weeks or so. Then its all value baby
:baller:
:baller:
Capitán Peligroso
Kingfisher
Not broadening the idea, but I would make a distinction between forceful and reactive, and it's worthwhile to make that distinction. WIA and Gio are two guys off the top of my head who make forceful posts that aren't reactive at all. Those political threads are full of posts that are both (and some posts are just reactive drivel, not forceful at all). The crux of the difference is this: "I need to respond to this" vs. "I choose to respond to this". Reactive is a function of hamster.
I'll posit that the most effective posters and posts in this forum are forceful, but not reactive, just like the people who are most effective at life are forceful and proactive, not reactive.
runsonmagic
Ostrich
I've been hit by SAD big time in the past.
Things that have helped me:
- Supplement vitamin D. Most people don't get enough sunlight in the winter months. This is probably the biggest thing I've found. If you do one thing, do this.
- Have unscheduled physical play. I'm not just talking about working out. Have something where you run around and move with people you like - martial arts, dance, frisbee. It's easy to become a shut in during the winter, only leaving for pussy.
- Move to warmer climates. If you're planning a trip down south, winter is the time. Works for the birds.
- Lots of lights indoors. Especially if they match sunlight. Plants indoors too. Also get a dog.
- Affection. Not talking about sex. Have someone massage you, hug you etc. I suspect many men get into pickup because they actually need this more than sex.
- Meditate. Meditation has been shown to increase willpower, as have having times where you relax your willpower. So for that all those who say "just grit and bear it" that only works so long. Willpower is like a muscle, you have to have rest periods. Read the willpower instinct if you want to learn more about this.
Most of these are just basic self-care items. I suspect they get a bad rap because people treat them as the main course, rather than the seasoning. The main course is your growth, your work, and your mission in the world. These help that. This year was really good for me, in part due to following the above and having good friends.
EDIT: Also my Thursday article will touch on drama junkies tangentially, and why people reinforce what they don't want.
Things that have helped me:
- Supplement vitamin D. Most people don't get enough sunlight in the winter months. This is probably the biggest thing I've found. If you do one thing, do this.
- Have unscheduled physical play. I'm not just talking about working out. Have something where you run around and move with people you like - martial arts, dance, frisbee. It's easy to become a shut in during the winter, only leaving for pussy.
- Move to warmer climates. If you're planning a trip down south, winter is the time. Works for the birds.
- Lots of lights indoors. Especially if they match sunlight. Plants indoors too. Also get a dog.
- Affection. Not talking about sex. Have someone massage you, hug you etc. I suspect many men get into pickup because they actually need this more than sex.
- Meditate. Meditation has been shown to increase willpower, as have having times where you relax your willpower. So for that all those who say "just grit and bear it" that only works so long. Willpower is like a muscle, you have to have rest periods. Read the willpower instinct if you want to learn more about this.
Most of these are just basic self-care items. I suspect they get a bad rap because people treat them as the main course, rather than the seasoning. The main course is your growth, your work, and your mission in the world. These help that. This year was really good for me, in part due to following the above and having good friends.
EDIT: Also my Thursday article will touch on drama junkies tangentially, and why people reinforce what they don't want.
I am currently in my longest fucking dry spell since losing my virginity. [well, it's been a semidry spell but w/e]. I live in the middle of the snowy frozen nowhere, and can't drive because I'm fighting a DWI. Fuck the winter.
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